How do you handle parties? If there are foods their that contain peanuts or may be cross you simply leave? How else can you prevent your child from contact even if he does not eat anything?

On Oct 13, 2001

My husband and I agreed we would leave, but of course there has been cases since where we haven't. I guess it will depend on the occasion. I mean we do have to live our lives. We were at a "party" so to speak (gathering) after his mother's funeral last week and there were SO many bakery products with and without nuts. We stayed of course. Luckily she napped most of the time when people were eating even though the desserts were still out.


On Oct 13, 2001

As for the party thing.....we always show up with a "goody bag" for our son. Brownies I have made at home and his old stand by Mac & cheese. My MIL still insists on having wine and cheese and nuts out at every gathering. But our sone knows he has to eat what we bring and he has never questioned that. He is only 5 and pretty stubborn at times and has never given us a hard time about this.

On Oct 15, 2001

I bring my son's entire meal whenever we go to parties, unless the party is at a relative's house and I know I can trust them to cook something simple like chicken. But, I bring any baked goods because not even the relatives have the special ingredients needed (my son has multiple food allergies).

When we go to friends' parties, they already know about my son's allergies and they have always been wonderful about making sure that there are no peanut products served. I feel lucky to have friends like that.

On one occassion, we were invited to a neighbor's party where it was potluck. I still brought my son's food and three weeks before the party, I politely explained to the hostess about my son's allergy. I asked if she would please not serve any peanuts or M&M/peanut M&M's and I explained why. I also requested that if anyone asked what they could bring to the potluck, would she please explain my son's peanut allergy so that that guest would know and hopefully not make an item with peanuts? She was very nice about the matter. Since not everyone called to say what they were bringing, she set up the dessert area upstairs away from where the main party was so that my son wouldn't accidentally get into anything. I've found that sometimes people are very nice about my requests and sometimes snotty. Indeed, the hostess had no problem with my request -- another neighbor though was indignant that I would even ask the hostess what I did.

So when it comes to parties, I think a lot has to do with your comfort level in being able to discuss the matter (hopefully ahead of time) with the host/hostess if you feel you can. At least, that's been my take on parties. Hope this helped. Warmly, Julie B.

On Oct 15, 2001

We consider ourselves extremely cautious when it comes to peanuts. That is, Lauren eats absolutely nothing that has any remote chance of having come in contact with peanuts. When it comes to parties, if there are "may contain" items at the party, we let her stay but let let her know that under no uncertain terms that she is allowed to eat that item. We feel that the chances of a "may contain" item (say, may contain peanut fragment) eaten by someone else has only an extremely remote chance of causing her a reaction. However, we do not stay if there are actual peanut items served.