Posted on: Tue, 08/26/2003 - 4:07am
domesticgodess's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

hi.all i am new to this whole sharing of solutions but not new to whole pa/tna thing my almost 8 year old has had this allergy since 9 months old and has had some very bad experiances, all at the hands of ignorant parents at schools daycares summer camps and at sporting events.letters and lists have gone home with repeated reminders of his allergies but nothing seems to get through.last year 2 moms were actually escorted out of the school for ragging on my sons teacher and my son for the inconvience he causes them.he has been unencluded from invitations to parties because of it teased by other children and so on..... my school board is very tight about what i can and cannot send out to the parents about it. i would love to send a letter to these parents educating them on just what and how dangerous this can be but the school board will not allow me to send out anything that is to strong.i will stand outside and hand it uot on my own time instead of going through the teacher but i have a problem with expressing it without to much emotion i just want to send out somthing with the facts stressing the dangers. anyone who knows how to do this and can help me will hear a big cheer from me.thanks!!!

Posted on: Tue, 08/26/2003 - 4:39am
cyndi29's picture
Joined: 05/10/2000 - 09:00

I am new at this also. My 4 year old p/a child goes to a five star daycare facility. He has been at this daycare for 2 1/2 years. From the day we took him there to enroll him, I stressed his p/a and the severity of it. They had never had a p/a child in the daycare in the past so it was very stressful educating the director and all of the people who work there. Just yesterday when I picked him up and got him in the car, I noticed his face was breaking in hive like spots and he was red faced. I ran back into the daycare only to find out the teacher in his room gave the kids peanut butter crackers. Mind you, there are signs posted everywhere. Thank god my husband and I and our oldest son really stress to my youngest son certain things he can't have and why. He was presented with a snack he had never had before and he didn't want it and threw the crackers in the garbage. He was breaking out because he touched them and rubbed his face. I still called 911 because at the time I did not know he didn't eat them. I was hysterical and very angry at the daycare. I thought we were ok and had everyone educated. I guess you can never be sure. Any suggestions on how to make sure this doesn't happen again? I am very scared because he goes to kindergarten next year and the supervision is not like daycare. Please respond with any suggestions. I am very worried.

Posted on: Fri, 08/29/2003 - 5:15am
domesticgodess's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

hi,cindi when i first put my now 8 year old in daycare (AT 3 YRS.)i had no problem with the now no peanut/nut enviro. at least not with the daycare it was parents but lucky for us, we had a very strong director and she insisted at my insistance that the menu change and so on so that way worked. you should ask them to change their menu and if it is a top rated daycare they should have no problem since you i imagine pay them dearly for their services. matter of fact i would demand the menu change. that teacher who was handing out the snacks, was she his regular teacher??? not that it matters!! if they have no dangerous food there than there is no risk of "accidental ingestion" my daycare went as far as sending parents home with their child if they arrived with peanut butter toast in hand,these parents learned quickly!!!it was kinder garten i had the big fight with they wanted to put my son in a class room by himself to eat his lunch they refused to make his room p/n free so refused to send him to school i went as far as calling the school board on them he started j.k in nov. instead of sept.they also refused to take his nebulizer and epi-pen.
by the time i was done educating about all his problems i am sure the teachers were sick to death of me i was sick of me but he will begin his third grade safe and happy.
bottom line is if they are not taking the measures to ensure your child saftey then you do what has to be done.your fun has just begun!!!!i know i have gone on but i have ????'s if he starts j.k this year will it be half days or every other full day?
would it be possiable to take him out of daycare? not that you should have to but for your piece of you have an epi-pen? i was told when in doubt to give it to him then call 911.has he had a severe reaction??
i ask that last one because i have read the bulliten board and every one says things about hives and miner reactions that are cleared up with benydryl and i have never seen a small reaction that can be taken care of that sons reaction are huge he has had 3.anyway i'll hear from you soon i hope!!
good luck!

Posted on: Fri, 08/29/2003 - 8:21am
Joined: 08/29/2001 - 09:00

Gosh I think I walk in your shoes every day of my life. My son is 8 so we have been dealing with all the nasty comments and people who just do not understand what we go through every day. Last year I had a mom look at me and say " Just once I wish allison could be in a class without these damn peanut allergy kids". I said well its nice to meet you I am the mother of one of those damn peanut allergy kids. I am also sick to death of all the crap I have to go through just to keep my son safe. I like you know there must be laws out there to protect us and our children.

Posted on: Fri, 08/29/2003 - 2:21pm
domesticgodess's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

jt's mom
they are hard shoes to sqeeze into aren't they???lol.(might help if i could spell!!!)
the mom's that i mentioned that were escorted out of the school for what i call making mountains(out of mole hills)were going on like that also.only 2 things got me mad about that were they did not have the guts to do it in front of me,i would rip them a new one!!! and both of them are stay at home was not the princeple who told me about them either it was another parent who thought that i should be one the beware. so i of course have to say something and i did.i asked them if peanut butter sandwiches were so very important to their kids why didn't they take them home for lunch? well miss smarty pants says to me < yes to me the mom who has watched her child have tubes shoved down his throat just breath
why should her child suffer?i told her that her child would not have to suffer if she spent more time using her imagination towards fun lunch ideas and less time complaing that she isn't permitted to kill mine!!! needless to say she had nothing to say after that!and she no longer complained out loud anyway! have anymore stories?lol

Posted on: Fri, 08/29/2003 - 4:31pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

domesticgodess, you already kindly replied in a thread I have running. Would you like to hear what the idiot principal said to me, the PA parent to-day about other parents? (Never mind that this a**hole told me that my son, who has had three anaphylactic reactions is going to OUTGROW his allergy and I'm sorry, I didn't see a medical degree in that principal office of his).
He said that he has actually had parents come into the school wanting to register their children to attend the school. But the first question they ask is "is it a peanut free school?" "if it is, we don't want our kid going here?"
Did I need to hear that to-day when he was basically telling me that he was unwilling to provide a safe environment for my son and was going against written school board policy across the province of Ontario. NO!
Would you feel comfortable contacting your local newspaper and seeing if they wanted to do an article re PA?
We have done that in both communities that we lived in (one small town north of Barrie and then here in Belleville just before the start of the school year). The newspaper article was then given to the school. I was actually thinking of contacting the woman who did the article last year to tell her what is going on this year with my son.
Last summer, my son was refused entry into a day camp because of his PA. I didn't make a fuss about it because they had, in all honesty, never dealt with a PA child before. So I cut them some slack.
But when it comes to a school that has school board policy in place, I'm not willing to cut that slack. And also, Jesse didn't NEED day camp. He does, however, NEED to go to school and especially this year since it's Grade 3 and that dreaded Grade 3 provincial testing in Ontario.
I would try the newspaper route (no pun intended) with your situation and see if that helps.
I was actually refused to-day to have the Safe Snack and Lunch List that I have posted on this board under Schools and under Snacks, Recipes sent home to parents. I explained that not only did it give a list of Safe Snack and Lunches but also explained the allergy in a bit more detail and it's a pretty damn good document. The principal refused. Why? Because apparently people don't even read the school newsletter.
So, how are we supposed to educate the school community which was his big *thing*? I can't send out a really comprehensive list.
I'm sure he wouldn't approve of the personalized letter I was going to send out rather than the bland school board letter that basically says "peanut free" classroom.
I was going to use another member's who posted in another thread where a member was asking for sample letters.
I hear you dear woman. If you need any help from me please let me know and I'll definitely do the same.
As I posted in the thread I have running, I'll be researching all week-end and I did make another suggestion to you in that thread as well.
But I am one angry, tired, frustrated and sad Mom right now.
Do this to me from when Jesse was 3-3/4 and I would have found a way to deal with it. Spring it on me when he is nearly 8 and I'm sorry, combined with all of the other stresses of the past year, I'm ready to completely lose my mind (actually brain matter was on my computer monitor last night).
Best wishes! [img][/img]

Posted on: Fri, 08/29/2003 - 4:53pm
domesticgodess's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

i am going to email you!!!as italk to you myprobs.pale!!!bryson does have a nut free class and the principal does let me send a list and she does let me send an alternitive menu home.i did up a whole "menu"of healthy things that kids would eat after much complaining from some of his buddies that they were bored of meat and cheese.which i can understand.last year a small prob.arose with a girl who at the end of the school year started bringing pb&j instead of sending bryson out the girl was sent to her office to eat it.i don't gloat over a child being centered out but at the same time i will take every victory i can get,no matter how small.this girls parents were called several times about it and did not care untill she came home and told them she had to eat down there .that didn't stop them either.the only reason i knew about it was because bryson told me.i called to find out what was going on and am told all. so i called the parents myself!!i can be nice while telling you off!!thepb&j stopped coming and i made a friend!!!my finger nails are not short from biting them they to the quick from all the clawing i have had to do!!!

Posted on: Sat, 08/30/2003 - 6:46am
StaceyK's picture
Joined: 05/06/2003 - 09:00

All of your posts are very interesting. I wish I were able to say I'm shocked at how selfish parents can be, but I'm not.
[This message has been edited by StaceyK (edited November 06, 2003).]

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