PA Sibling TERRIFIED of peanuts

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 12:19pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Hey guys,
Here is a good one for you all. We have done such a "great" job teaching 5 year old PA DD about how bad peanuts are, that her 3 year old sister(NKA) is absolutely scared to death of them. So we had her RAST tested and she was negative. We talked to the allergist and are supposed to start introducing PB to her. She has never had any nuts. Even while I was pregnant and nursing I ate none!

So we talked to her about this, and she seemed ok until we took her to a friends house and got a small amount of PB out and tried to wipe a small bit on her back. She absolutely totally flipped out!!!!!!!!!!

We have about 6 weeks until pre-school starts. We are not going to allow her to eat actualy PB products, but yes to may contains...

So how do we now try and get her to do this. While sleeping will not work, as we have a peanut free home and she sleeps in the same room as DD with PA. And then if there is not a mark, we will try and introduce more actual peanuts to her.

Any grand ideas to fix our goof up?????

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:12pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Why do you feel it necessary to feed her pb? If it is such a big deal, just drop the subject. Feed her what everyone else eats and don't worry about it. She will relax and then eventually when she is older you can tell her that it is ok for her to have pb. Don't turn this into something bigger in her mind...just my 2 cents!
------------------
mom to Ari(6) - severe nut allergies, asthma, you name it - and Maya (9), mild excema

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:21pm
VariegatedRB's picture
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Joined: 11/23/2005 - 09:00

I would either drop it, as has been suggested or expose her but don't tell her (If you feel you need to do a safe, supervised exposure (and I can understand this!))
Like- at the friend's house, do a crat project that includes peanut butter (without telling her what it is) or something.
She is probably picking up on your (perfectly natural) fears and you may be approaching it in too much of a ritualistic way- so to her it seems scarey and dangerous- like taking medicines or something- and she knows you are trying to see if *she* will get sick from pb like her ds... so she is resisting.
You can explain all you want- but a 3 yo is going to trust her emotions/instincts above "logic."
Tara P

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:53pm
joeybeth's picture
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

just my opinion, but i think you should be THRILLED she doesn't want to eat pb or peanuts. that will make it so much easier for you as you go about keeping your other child's environment peanut-safe. it's not like there is any advantage to eating peanut products (as long as your child gets other sources of protein in her diet, which i'm sure she should be able to). i'd let her decide what she wants to eat; particularly if it's not a necessity (like fruits/vegetables/water, etc.).
my older (non-PA) daughter doesn't care for pb or most peanut items and i have always considered myself enormously fortunate for that. it just makes life easier and safer for her two younger, PA sisters.
and, as a side bar, i think it might say a lot about your youngest's level of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that she possibly thinks so much about her sibling's safety that she doesn't want to eat peanuts either. (either that or she is concerned for her own safety). either way, i think it takes a pretty intelligent little girl to be thinking so much about such concepts at such a young age.

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 10:52pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Hi guys,
Thanks for the replies, and trust me. If she was not going to pre-school the subject would totally be dropped. We (and the dr) do not think it is fair to the teachers to not have her try PB before going. And that is even if we are not going to feed her PB.
And the day we went to try the skin exposure, we went to HER best friends house where she felt comfortable, and talked about it and stuff. But one of you was right about her being VERY thoughtful and sweet. So I guess I just need a sneaky way to try it without her knowing it.
Well thanks for the input!!!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 1:30am
Greenlady's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

Just my opinion, but I would NOT sneak her p.b. She could end up being feeling very betrayed if/when she found out. Also, God forbid, if she does end up having a reaction, it's going to REALLY freak her out.
Maybe she could do it at the doctor's, so he could reassure her about it? You could explain why it's important, like taking a vaccination.
Hope this helps!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:43am
joeybeth's picture
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

i still don't see why it's "unfair" to her teachers to not have her at least try peanuts/pb before going to school???????
does it really matter if she tries it or not? my children routinely refuse snacks at school (even the safe ones) because they are not big snackers. i dare someone to force my kid to eat any snack (or even meal) if they do not feel like eating. if someone has a problem with that...oh well.
i am really confused as to why it's unfair to someone that your child enters their classroom without previous knowledge of what pb tastes like.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:46am
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

okay...i have thought about this....i'm slow this morning.....apparently....
is the reason you don't think it's fair to the teachers is because you want to make sure she doesn't have a reaction prior to going to school??? and that you don't want the teachers being afraid she'll have one on their watch???? if so, that makes sense.
i thought you were saying that it was unfair to the teachers that she wouldn't try different foods or something like that.
still....either way....i have to say that it's not important that she try pb (especially given the fact that she so strongly opposes it). would it be possible to just give the school her allergy testing results, if there are any??

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:48am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Because having a highly allergic older sib increases the risk of PA many times over.
Would you really want your child's first reaction (after several exposures) to be at a preschool, where they don't have an epipen for your heretofore "non-allergic" child?
The only other alternative is to treat the child as though they are allergic. Which I understand is NOT fair to the preschool staff.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 3:37am
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Sorry I did not explain correctly, but yes, the reason I think it is unfair to everybody is "what if" she is allergic and does have a reaction at pre-school. It is unfair to the teachers, but mostly to my daughter who would be scared to death!!!!!!!!!!
Her older sister has been told (with us) by the allergist that an exposure to peanuts would be "devastating". DD #2 RAST tested negative, and they would not skin test as since the RAST test was negative did not feel we would get much of a reaction.
So this is why we are trying to slowly give her some exposure. Including rubbing some on her, then giving her something which "may contain peanuts", then small bits of peanuts.
It is just she is terrified. Doctors said to do it at home, as we wanted to challenge her at the office. They said no since she RAST tested negative.
And I don't expect anybody to ever force her to eat anything, however we need to have some type of knowledge prior to sending her blindly into a pre-school where she could have trouble. She would not eat PB there even if she was forced too.
thanks

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 4:02am
BS312's picture
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Joined: 09/05/2001 - 09:00

Could you try Reese's Pieces?

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 5:32am
JaneyL's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/11/1999 - 09:00

Would it help to have your daughter see you eat peanut products in small amounts? Maybe some friends her age that can eat peanut butter? Try to show her for most people they are an okay food choice-with no pressure for her to try them until she asks.
We just went through this last week with my youngest of three -she's 4 and starting preschool in the public school this September. It's her 13 yr. old brother who is PA/TNA. My 9 yr. old son has no food allergies. She has seen him eat peanut products once in a while when the oldest isn't with us. She's also seen me eat peanut butter.
The allergist told us to put a small dab on her forearm. Then cheek and lip. If nothing happens then to let her try a taste. We did this and she went about it like a trooper. We then waited a few days and let her try it again-the big test for me. All went well. We explained that we needed to know before she went to school where there are lots of different foods.
It's hard having a deadline. But you definitely need to know the answer.
Best wishes.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 6:47am
starlight's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by emily'smommy:
[b]
It is just she is terrified. Doctors said to do it at home, as we wanted to challenge her at the office. They said no since she RAST tested negative.
[/b]
I don't really know anything about children, but once you get her comfortable with the whole "trying peanuts" idea, could you give her the PB in their waiting room? Or a park/restaurant next door or across the street from the allergist? Or maybe take her on a trip to a hospital cafeteria to try something with it? Just to ease your mind, which in turn would probably ease her mind also.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 7:15am
MimiM's picture
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Joined: 10/10/2003 - 09:00

Emily's mommy,
I just reraised a thread that I started a few months ago when I gave my younger ds peanut for the first time. I hope that it is helpful to you. Good luck and I hope that it all goes reaction free!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 11:26am
joeybeth's picture
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

sorry, emily's mommy, for the earlier misunderstanding. i've gone around feeling like a jerk all day. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] i "get" what you are trying to accomplish now. before i swear i thought you honestly were just upset that your child didn't want to enjoy pb. or, that you didn't want to offend the teachers at the new school if she refused their snacks. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] i feel pretty stupid now.
did i mention that i'm sorry????

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 12:25pm
Nutforce's picture
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Joined: 06/02/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by starlight:
[b] I don't really know anything about children, but once you get her comfortable with the whole "trying peanuts" idea, could you give her the PB in their waiting room?
[/b]
I would not be happy to see soemone eating pb in the waiting room at my allergist's office. lol
That brings up something interesting though. When they do a challenge at theoffice, how careful are they about airing out the room, washing hands, reducing traces, disposing of leftovers, etc?

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 3:06pm
starlight's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Nutforce:
[b] I would not be happy to see soemone eating pb in the waiting room at my allergist's office. lol
[/b]
haha, yes, I know. I thought of that while I was posting but *completely* forgot to go back to change it to "nurse's break room or out of the way place." That's even why I mentioned doing it next door or across the street, lol.
It's strange, but I go for shots every week, and I've only ever seen one kid eat something. And I think it was something PA safe. If they'd only get rid of that stupid lego table that makes loud crashing noises and the air purifier that makes a zapping noise every time it catches a particle, it'd be a really relaxing place [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:12pm
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Why do you feel it necessary to feed her pb? If it is such a big deal, just drop the subject. Feed her what everyone else eats and don't worry about it. She will relax and then eventually when she is older you can tell her that it is ok for her to have pb. Don't turn this into something bigger in her mind...just my 2 cents!
------------------
mom to Ari(6) - severe nut allergies, asthma, you name it - and Maya (9), mild excema

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:21pm
VariegatedRB's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/23/2005 - 09:00

I would either drop it, as has been suggested or expose her but don't tell her (If you feel you need to do a safe, supervised exposure (and I can understand this!))
Like- at the friend's house, do a crat project that includes peanut butter (without telling her what it is) or something.
She is probably picking up on your (perfectly natural) fears and you may be approaching it in too much of a ritualistic way- so to her it seems scarey and dangerous- like taking medicines or something- and she knows you are trying to see if *she* will get sick from pb like her ds... so she is resisting.
You can explain all you want- but a 3 yo is going to trust her emotions/instincts above "logic."
Tara P

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 1:53pm
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

just my opinion, but i think you should be THRILLED she doesn't want to eat pb or peanuts. that will make it so much easier for you as you go about keeping your other child's environment peanut-safe. it's not like there is any advantage to eating peanut products (as long as your child gets other sources of protein in her diet, which i'm sure she should be able to). i'd let her decide what she wants to eat; particularly if it's not a necessity (like fruits/vegetables/water, etc.).
my older (non-PA) daughter doesn't care for pb or most peanut items and i have always considered myself enormously fortunate for that. it just makes life easier and safer for her two younger, PA sisters.
and, as a side bar, i think it might say a lot about your youngest's level of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that she possibly thinks so much about her sibling's safety that she doesn't want to eat peanuts either. (either that or she is concerned for her own safety). either way, i think it takes a pretty intelligent little girl to be thinking so much about such concepts at such a young age.

Posted on: Mon, 07/24/2006 - 10:52pm
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Hi guys,
Thanks for the replies, and trust me. If she was not going to pre-school the subject would totally be dropped. We (and the dr) do not think it is fair to the teachers to not have her try PB before going. And that is even if we are not going to feed her PB.
And the day we went to try the skin exposure, we went to HER best friends house where she felt comfortable, and talked about it and stuff. But one of you was right about her being VERY thoughtful and sweet. So I guess I just need a sneaky way to try it without her knowing it.
Well thanks for the input!!!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 1:30am
Greenlady's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

Just my opinion, but I would NOT sneak her p.b. She could end up being feeling very betrayed if/when she found out. Also, God forbid, if she does end up having a reaction, it's going to REALLY freak her out.
Maybe she could do it at the doctor's, so he could reassure her about it? You could explain why it's important, like taking a vaccination.
Hope this helps!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:43am
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

i still don't see why it's "unfair" to her teachers to not have her at least try peanuts/pb before going to school???????
does it really matter if she tries it or not? my children routinely refuse snacks at school (even the safe ones) because they are not big snackers. i dare someone to force my kid to eat any snack (or even meal) if they do not feel like eating. if someone has a problem with that...oh well.
i am really confused as to why it's unfair to someone that your child enters their classroom without previous knowledge of what pb tastes like.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:46am
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

okay...i have thought about this....i'm slow this morning.....apparently....
is the reason you don't think it's fair to the teachers is because you want to make sure she doesn't have a reaction prior to going to school??? and that you don't want the teachers being afraid she'll have one on their watch???? if so, that makes sense.
i thought you were saying that it was unfair to the teachers that she wouldn't try different foods or something like that.
still....either way....i have to say that it's not important that she try pb (especially given the fact that she so strongly opposes it). would it be possible to just give the school her allergy testing results, if there are any??

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 2:48am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Because having a highly allergic older sib increases the risk of PA many times over.
Would you really want your child's first reaction (after several exposures) to be at a preschool, where they don't have an epipen for your heretofore "non-allergic" child?
The only other alternative is to treat the child as though they are allergic. Which I understand is NOT fair to the preschool staff.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 3:37am
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Sorry I did not explain correctly, but yes, the reason I think it is unfair to everybody is "what if" she is allergic and does have a reaction at pre-school. It is unfair to the teachers, but mostly to my daughter who would be scared to death!!!!!!!!!!
Her older sister has been told (with us) by the allergist that an exposure to peanuts would be "devastating". DD #2 RAST tested negative, and they would not skin test as since the RAST test was negative did not feel we would get much of a reaction.
So this is why we are trying to slowly give her some exposure. Including rubbing some on her, then giving her something which "may contain peanuts", then small bits of peanuts.
It is just she is terrified. Doctors said to do it at home, as we wanted to challenge her at the office. They said no since she RAST tested negative.
And I don't expect anybody to ever force her to eat anything, however we need to have some type of knowledge prior to sending her blindly into a pre-school where she could have trouble. She would not eat PB there even if she was forced too.
thanks

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 4:02am
BS312's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/05/2001 - 09:00

Could you try Reese's Pieces?

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 5:32am
JaneyL's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/11/1999 - 09:00

Would it help to have your daughter see you eat peanut products in small amounts? Maybe some friends her age that can eat peanut butter? Try to show her for most people they are an okay food choice-with no pressure for her to try them until she asks.
We just went through this last week with my youngest of three -she's 4 and starting preschool in the public school this September. It's her 13 yr. old brother who is PA/TNA. My 9 yr. old son has no food allergies. She has seen him eat peanut products once in a while when the oldest isn't with us. She's also seen me eat peanut butter.
The allergist told us to put a small dab on her forearm. Then cheek and lip. If nothing happens then to let her try a taste. We did this and she went about it like a trooper. We then waited a few days and let her try it again-the big test for me. All went well. We explained that we needed to know before she went to school where there are lots of different foods.
It's hard having a deadline. But you definitely need to know the answer.
Best wishes.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 6:47am
starlight's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by emily'smommy:
[b]
It is just she is terrified. Doctors said to do it at home, as we wanted to challenge her at the office. They said no since she RAST tested negative.
[/b]
I don't really know anything about children, but once you get her comfortable with the whole "trying peanuts" idea, could you give her the PB in their waiting room? Or a park/restaurant next door or across the street from the allergist? Or maybe take her on a trip to a hospital cafeteria to try something with it? Just to ease your mind, which in turn would probably ease her mind also.

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 7:15am
MimiM's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/10/2003 - 09:00

Emily's mommy,
I just reraised a thread that I started a few months ago when I gave my younger ds peanut for the first time. I hope that it is helpful to you. Good luck and I hope that it all goes reaction free!

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 11:26am
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

sorry, emily's mommy, for the earlier misunderstanding. i've gone around feeling like a jerk all day. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] i "get" what you are trying to accomplish now. before i swear i thought you honestly were just upset that your child didn't want to enjoy pb. or, that you didn't want to offend the teachers at the new school if she refused their snacks. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] i feel pretty stupid now.
did i mention that i'm sorry????

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 12:25pm
Nutforce's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/02/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by starlight:
[b] I don't really know anything about children, but once you get her comfortable with the whole "trying peanuts" idea, could you give her the PB in their waiting room?
[/b]
I would not be happy to see soemone eating pb in the waiting room at my allergist's office. lol
That brings up something interesting though. When they do a challenge at theoffice, how careful are they about airing out the room, washing hands, reducing traces, disposing of leftovers, etc?

Posted on: Tue, 07/25/2006 - 3:06pm
starlight's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Nutforce:
[b] I would not be happy to see soemone eating pb in the waiting room at my allergist's office. lol
[/b]
haha, yes, I know. I thought of that while I was posting but *completely* forgot to go back to change it to "nurse's break room or out of the way place." That's even why I mentioned doing it next door or across the street, lol.
It's strange, but I go for shots every week, and I've only ever seen one kid eat something. And I think it was something PA safe. If they'd only get rid of that stupid lego table that makes loud crashing noises and the air purifier that makes a zapping noise every time it catches a particle, it'd be a really relaxing place [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

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