Our son is banned from Kindergarten tomorrow re PA/TNA

Posted on: Tue, 09/18/2001 - 12:24pm
vic's picture
vic
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Joined: 11/30/2015 - 09:59

This is going to be short, since I have a meeting to go to, but I really needed to rant for a moment.

I was asked by the interim principal today to keep Mick home from Kindergarten tomorrow. RE Liability. I asked several times, to no avail, for a meeting with the staff members to go over Mick's 504 plan before the school year started. And now, all of a sudden, the principal is concerned with the "liability" issue of having a food allergic child with EpiPens in our school. I am so disappointed in our school. I am outraged. My child is being denied his education. This is a parochial school. We thought this was the safest place for Mick to be. He went to preschool there for the past two years, under the direction of a different principal.

I'm not even sure what I'd like to say here tonight, except that I am just floored. Especially since I have tried so hard to make everything as easy as possible for them. I personally cleaned almost everything in the classroom, myself (the classroom was not P/TN free last year). I've written letters to the parents. Designed P/TN free lunch, snack and birthday treat ideas to share with the other parents. I have tried to get together with the staff to make sure everything was all set before the doors were open. There is much more behind this story, but I don't have the time right now to type it all out. I just know that this is the place I need to be for real support and caring. Thanks for listening. More when I can. I need to collect my thoughts and calm down some.

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Peanut/Nut-free wishes,
Victoria

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 12:25am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

vic, what the heck has happened? To-day, Wednesday, isn't your son's first day at school. Is he going to be allowed to go back on the next day that he would go to school? Is it Friday?
I am just beside myself because I know from the different things you have posted under the Schools forum itself that you have gone to a lot of work to ensure that your son could enter school safely this year.
So, he's gone what, 5 days and the interim principal decides he can't go to-day? What the hell does that mean? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] How long is this principal the interim principal for?
Have you ever had a meeting with the staff re the 504 Plan you have for your son or has that always been sort of sluffed off?
If I were you, and actually, I'm not, and I'm still really angry, I would be really angry!
Shouldn't you perhaps have been told before your little guy stepped in the school door the FIRST day that this was coming? It is absurd! Your son is at an age where this can be very difficult to deal with, especially since he has already been going to school! Again, it's not like to-day would have been his first day (even if it had been his first day, I would still be really angry). He has already started his routine in school and started to make friends. I actually can't believe it.
Do parochial schools have to follow 504 Plans? If the interim principal is concerned about liability and your son can't go to school to-day, isn't that essentially saying that he can't go to school tomorrow or the next day because the liability "issue" isn't going to go away. And what does this have to do with Epi-pens? Is it that they don't want to administer one in case your son should have a reaction? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
vic, I am absolutely livid! I thought with the excellent 504 Plan you had and the work you went to to ensure your son's safety (I just used a copy of your letter to go home to Jesse's classmates' parents that you had written from your son to go home to his classmates' parents this week and the principal thought it was an excellent idea), you would have had the least difficulty of most of us posting!
Since I'm Canadian and don't know all the intricacies of a 504 Plan, I would strongly suggest that you contact Rilira off-the-board. She should be able to help somehow with this. And it's funny, I haven't posted it yet, but when I saw California Mom's thread about the 504 Plan not being followed, I was going to suggest to her that she contact both Rilira and you! AH!
I am SO upset for you and doubly upset for your little guy.
Also, how does this affect the "peanut free" classroom the school said they would implement for your daughter? Are there any other PA children in the school?
I know, I've given my list of ten million questions and what you really need now is some answers which I'm hoping someone will get in here and help you out with.
Again, I just feel SO badly for you and your son. Please keep us posted as to how this works out. I can't believe it! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 12:51pm
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vic
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Joined: 11/30/2015 - 09:59

Hi Cindy, Thanks for your reply. I will try to answer your questions.
I am not sure if Mick will be allowed to go back to school on Friday. The principal never got back with me today. If I do not hear from her tomorrow, I will show up on Friday with Mick and Mary (daughter in preschool). We kept Mary home today too. We are a family. If they cannot accept one of us, then none of us will be there.
We have no idea how long it will be before we get a new principal.
We had a meeting at the end of last school year. We went over the 504, EpiPen, etc. We made some changes in the 504 and were all in agreement that we would get together before school started in August to go over everything again. I also volunteered to clean the classroom and it

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 12:58pm
vic's picture
vic
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Joined: 11/30/2015 - 09:59

I just tried to do a search and this is what I got:
Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.
Please contact the server administrator, [email]webmaster@pair.com[/email] and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.
More information about this error may be available in the server error log.
Guess I'll try again later.
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Peanut/Nut-free wishes,
Victoria

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 1:49pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

vic, I really feel as though you need some American input on this one. I'm going to see what I can do off-the-board to get some information for you or people posting in this thread. I'm actually surprised to see that you only got one response to-day (and it was from a Canadian asking a million questions [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] )
I am still SO very upset by this. A couple of weeks ago I read here where a child in Ontario was unable to attend the first day of school and I was absolutely livid! I cannot believe things like this happening.
And I truly believe that if this were to happen, it should have happened before your son stepped through the doors this year. Not after he's been in school for three weeks!
Please keep us posted. I'm sorry I wasn't any help as far as sorting things out and asking so many questions when you must be absolutely exhausted by all of this (I know that exploded head feeling well, but Jesse has never been banned from school) and I know how hard this must be on you.
I also think the way you handled the whole thing with your son was excellent. He is of an age where this would affect him, as I posted (routine of school, making new friends) and I believe your explaining it would help quite a bit.
Here's hoping you get some help with this one here.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
and [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] at a parochial school in Michigan!
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Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 10:31pm
mkruby's picture
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Joined: 05/01/2000 - 09:00

Sarcastic here--> Such a nice age for a school to teach discrimination, and to do it against a child. I'm pissed!
I applaud you, Vic, for being truthful with your child, and you're right: they do need to learn how to deal with this type of thing and yes, they will run into it.
My son and I ran into this type of discrimination when we went to sign him up for preschool. There was another child that was anaphylactic to peanut too, and worse than my son. Again, it was a parochial(sp) school. The other woman went to the Diocese and basically threatened a lawsuit, and the prinicipal was overrode by the Diocese, and the boys were let in. SO, your story hits home for me too much.
I don't know, but I think I may have showed up at school and stayed the whole day, and allowed them to call the cops. Now, as far as I am concerned, if you have paid money for your child to go to school, then your child and you would not be trespassing; you have a right to be there. The minute they accepted your money for your child's education is the minute they took on the responsibility.
Because it is a private school and because of the 'church and state' thing, the school does maintain certain rights, but then again, they accepted your money knowing this. It seems to me as this is a legal issue and that a lawyer is a good idea. Fight for your child's rights and teach your child in the process that is what you do when dealing with discrimination. You can start with going over the prinicipal's head and go to the diocese that is in charge of the school, threaten with a lawsuit if you have to. That is what the lady of the other child did for me and her son. Basically, be a bitch.
* * *
My Motherly Philosophies On This Type Of Allergy:
Knowledge Is Power, Empowerment Is Strength.
Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child.
Expect Discrimination, Have An Answer For It.
Expect Ignorance, Teach The Ignorant.
Teach Yourself, Teach Your Child, Teach Their Teachers.
Let Your Children Teach Their Friends.
Guide Your Child Through It And Work As A Team.
Expect Some People Not To Care, Don't Trust Them With Your Child.
Learn As Much As You Can, Just Don't Become Obsessed With It.
Find the Right Balance Between Being Protective And Allowing Your Child To Live A Normal Life.
Remember: The Allergy Is Your Child's, Not Yours...He Or She Needs To Learn How To Handle It.
Last But Not Least:
Trust Your Instincts, Let Your Child Trust Theirs
Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst, Have An Answer For The Ignorant
* * *
Get input from your child on what he thinks and feels, and yes, make him a part of the whole mess. It will make him feel like he has some control and the bond between Mom and child is wonderful. And you know what? If you decide to have your child go to public school, your child will be safe and fine. My kids are safer in the public school system than they were in parochial. They did two years each in parochial ( a different one). However, don't let the discrimination go unaccounted for. The school has to be made accountable for discriminating against your child and making him/her feel like he/she has lepracy. Completely unacceptable!
Then, ask yourself and your child these questions:
Do you really want your child in a school that doesn't care about him/her or accept him/her for who he/she is? What will that do to his/her self-esteem? Is thatwhat you want your child to learn, that he/she's not 'normal' and therefore cast away like garbage? His/her education doesn't count?
Do you and your child feel safe there or is it going to be a nervous school year for both of you?
Then, there is the religious aspect too. If this is a religious school, then what has that school just taught your child about his/her religion?
Well, that's enough for now. I don't know if I helped at all, but I hope so.
------------------
I am a mom of two anaphalactic PA boys and my daughter and myself also have allergies.

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 10:33pm
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I also am very upset that you were asked not to send your son to kindergarten. I am interested to know what they did when you showed up today.
I have always heard that private schools are not obligated to follow any type of 504 plans, etc. because they do not receive federal funding. My children are both in a private daycare, and I was unable to get peanut products banned from the daycare. I did get them banned from my son's classroom.
If the principal won't meet with you, can you meet with her boss? I would think that it light of the recent tradegy she would be more cooperative - not less so.
Please keep us posted. I was talking about different types of school with someone I work with, and we agreed that there should be a place where they can get an excellent education and come home from it as well.
If there is anything I can do, feel free to e-mail me. We will keep your family in our prayers.

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 11:09pm
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Joined: 08/09/2001 - 09:00

vic, I have never heard of such a thing. I got very angry just reading the thread. I can not believe how some school administrations can let this happen. Who makes these decissions and on what legal school policies do they base this upon? I would like to know the protection we have on this kind of matter. I too would try to get some info on this. I sure would like to know myself if I ever encounter the same problem. Hang in there.
[This message has been edited by mybaby (edited September 20, 2001).]

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 11:25pm
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Vic, I am so sorry that this is happening to your son and to your family. I have had terrible problems this year with Leah's 504 plan being ignored, and this is at a public U.S. school. I am also dealing with an interim principal; it has been a nightmare. I don't know what to advise; I am not sure that a parochial school needs to uphold a 504 plan. Will your (kind, compassionate and incredibly insightful!) friend go to "bat" for you? I liked MK Ruby's advice of going to school with your son. I would immediately go over the principal's head, too. You have nothing to lose at this point. I totally relate to feeling that everything was in place, and then it all just comes tumbling down without warning. I can also relate to doing your best to come across as a reasonable and non-lunatic person - and it does you no good! Good luck, please know that we are all behind you! Miriam p.s. In our case it was the district nurse who came to our aide and was instrumental in getting things straightened out. Do you have a nurse on staff who could be helpful to you?

Posted on: Wed, 09/19/2001 - 11:45pm
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vic
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Joined: 11/30/2015 - 09:59

Cindy, thank-you. You are always so helpful and caring. I can

Posted on: Thu, 09/20/2001 - 12:02am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Vic,
I am going to make this quick because I have to leave the house, but I didn't wan't to let it go because I probably won't be able to get on again until the weekend. I apologize in advance if I am being repetitive, but I don't have time to read all the responses.
Here's the deal as I understand it:
If your parochial school receives even 1 cent in federal funding (i.e., milk subsidy, etc.), they have to follow a 504. If not, they have no LEGAL obligation to do so (which is not to say they have no moral or ethical obligation). My elder son has some learning disabilities, and we have found that parents who have placed their children in private schools, either secular or parochial, because they think it will be a better environment have been sorely disappointed (ourselves included). You may have to consult a lawyer - I know in NY there are lawyers who do "school system" work at greatly reduced rates; I'm sure your state has such a network as well.
I am so sorry you are having this experience. It is even worse when it is a parochial, rather than a secular school, that deals with a problem in such a manner.
Please keep us updated.
Amy
(who is incredibly p*&&%$ at your school right now!)

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