Our son is banned from Kindergarten tomorrow re PA/TNA


This is going to be short, since I have a meeting to go to, but I really needed to rant for a moment.

I was asked by the interim principal today to keep Mick home from Kindergarten tomorrow. RE Liability. I asked several times, to no avail, for a meeting with the staff members to go over Mick's 504 plan before the school year started. And now, all of a sudden, the principal is concerned with the "liability" issue of having a food allergic child with EpiPens in our school. I am so disappointed in our school. I am outraged. My child is being denied his education. This is a parochial school. We thought this was the safest place for Mick to be. He went to preschool there for the past two years, under the direction of a different principal.

I'm not even sure what I'd like to say here tonight, except that I am just floored. Especially since I have tried so hard to make everything as easy as possible for them. I personally cleaned almost everything in the classroom, myself (the classroom was not P/TN free last year). I've written letters to the parents. Designed P/TN free lunch, snack and birthday treat ideas to share with the other parents. I have tried to get together with the staff to make sure everything was all set before the doors were open. There is much more behind this story, but I don't have the time right now to type it all out. I just know that this is the place I need to be for real support and caring. Thanks for listening. More when I can. I need to collect my thoughts and calm down some.

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

On Sep 19, 2001

vic, what the heck has happened? To-day, Wednesday, isn't your son's first day at school. Is he going to be allowed to go back on the next day that he would go to school? Is it Friday?

I am just beside myself because I know from the different things you have posted under the Schools forum itself that you have gone to a lot of work to ensure that your son could enter school safely this year.

So, he's gone what, 5 days and the interim principal decides he can't go to-day? What the hell does that mean? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] How long is this principal the interim principal for?

Have you ever had a meeting with the staff re the 504 Plan you have for your son or has that always been sort of sluffed off?

If I were you, and actually, I'm not, and I'm still really angry, I would be really angry! Shouldn't you perhaps have been told before your little guy stepped in the school door the FIRST day that this was coming? It is absurd! Your son is at an age where this can be very difficult to deal with, especially since he has already been going to school! Again, it's not like to-day would have been his first day (even if it had been his first day, I would still be really angry). He has already started his routine in school and started to make friends. I actually can't believe it.

Do parochial schools have to follow 504 Plans? If the interim principal is concerned about liability and your son can't go to school to-day, isn't that essentially saying that he can't go to school tomorrow or the next day because the liability "issue" isn't going to go away. And what does this have to do with Epi-pens? Is it that they don't want to administer one in case your son should have a reaction? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]

vic, I am absolutely livid! I thought with the excellent 504 Plan you had and the work you went to to ensure your son's safety (I just used a copy of your letter to go home to Jesse's classmates' parents that you had written from your son to go home to his classmates' parents this week and the principal thought it was an excellent idea), you would have had the least difficulty of most of us posting!

Since I'm Canadian and don't know all the intricacies of a 504 Plan, I would strongly suggest that you contact Rilira off-the-board. She should be able to help somehow with this. And it's funny, I haven't posted it yet, but when I saw California Mom's thread about the 504 Plan not being followed, I was going to suggest to her that she contact both Rilira and you! AH!

I am SO upset for you and doubly upset for your little guy.

Also, how does this affect the "peanut free" classroom the school said they would implement for your daughter? Are there any other PA children in the school?

I know, I've given my list of ten million questions and what you really need now is some answers which I'm hoping someone will get in here and help you out with.

Again, I just feel SO badly for you and your son. Please keep us posted as to how this works out. I can't believe it! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]


On Sep 19, 2001

Hi Cindy, Thanks for your reply. I will try to answer your questions.

I am not sure if Mick will be allowed to go back to school on Friday. The principal never got back with me today. If I do not hear from her tomorrow, I will show up on Friday with Mick and Mary (daughter in preschool). We kept Mary home today too. We are a family. If they cannot accept one of us, then none of us will be there.

We have no idea how long it will be before we get a new principal.

We had a meeting at the end of last school year. We went over the 504, EpiPen, etc. We made some changes in the 504 and were all in agreement that we would get together before school started in August to go over everything again. I also volunteered to clean the classroom and it

On Sep 19, 2001

I just tried to do a search and this is what I got:

Internal Server Error

The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request. Please contact the server administrator, [email]webmaster@pair.com[/email] and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error. More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

Guess I'll try again later.

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

On Sep 19, 2001

vic, I really feel as though you need some American input on this one. I'm going to see what I can do off-the-board to get some information for you or people posting in this thread. I'm actually surprised to see that you only got one response to-day (and it was from a Canadian asking a million questions [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] )

I am still SO very upset by this. A couple of weeks ago I read here where a child in Ontario was unable to attend the first day of school and I was absolutely livid! I cannot believe things like this happening.

And I truly believe that if this were to happen, it should have happened before your son stepped through the doors this year. Not after he's been in school for three weeks!

Please keep us posted. I'm sorry I wasn't any help as far as sorting things out and asking so many questions when you must be absolutely exhausted by all of this (I know that exploded head feeling well, but Jesse has never been banned from school) and I know how hard this must be on you.

I also think the way you handled the whole thing with your son was excellent. He is of an age where this would affect him, as I posted (routine of school, making new friends) and I believe your explaining it would help quite a bit.

Here's hoping you get some help with this one here.

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] and [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] at a parochial school in Michigan!


On Sep 20, 2001

Sarcastic here--> Such a nice age for a school to teach discrimination, and to do it against a child. I'm pissed!

I applaud you, Vic, for being truthful with your child, and you're right: they do need to learn how to deal with this type of thing and yes, they will run into it.

My son and I ran into this type of discrimination when we went to sign him up for preschool. There was another child that was anaphylactic to peanut too, and worse than my son. Again, it was a parochial(sp) school. The other woman went to the Diocese and basically threatened a lawsuit, and the prinicipal was overrode by the Diocese, and the boys were let in. SO, your story hits home for me too much.

I don't know, but I think I may have showed up at school and stayed the whole day, and allowed them to call the cops. Now, as far as I am concerned, if you have paid money for your child to go to school, then your child and you would not be trespassing; you have a right to be there. The minute they accepted your money for your child's education is the minute they took on the responsibility. Because it is a private school and because of the 'church and state' thing, the school does maintain certain rights, but then again, they accepted your money knowing this. It seems to me as this is a legal issue and that a lawyer is a good idea. Fight for your child's rights and teach your child in the process that is what you do when dealing with discrimination. You can start with going over the prinicipal's head and go to the diocese that is in charge of the school, threaten with a lawsuit if you have to. That is what the lady of the other child did for me and her son. Basically, be a bitch. * * * My Motherly Philosophies On This Type Of Allergy:

Knowledge Is Power, Empowerment Is Strength. Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child. Expect Discrimination, Have An Answer For It. Expect Ignorance, Teach The Ignorant. Teach Yourself, Teach Your Child, Teach Their Teachers. Let Your Children Teach Their Friends. Guide Your Child Through It And Work As A Team. Expect Some People Not To Care, Don't Trust Them With Your Child. Learn As Much As You Can, Just Don't Become Obsessed With It. Find the Right Balance Between Being Protective And Allowing Your Child To Live A Normal Life. Remember: The Allergy Is Your Child's, Not Yours...He Or She Needs To Learn How To Handle It. Last But Not Least: Trust Your Instincts, Let Your Child Trust Theirs Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst, Have An Answer For The Ignorant * * * Get input from your child on what he thinks and feels, and yes, make him a part of the whole mess. It will make him feel like he has some control and the bond between Mom and child is wonderful. And you know what? If you decide to have your child go to public school, your child will be safe and fine. My kids are safer in the public school system than they were in parochial. They did two years each in parochial ( a different one). However, don't let the discrimination go unaccounted for. The school has to be made accountable for discriminating against your child and making him/her feel like he/she has lepracy. Completely unacceptable!

Then, ask yourself and your child these questions:

Do you really want your child in a school that doesn't care about him/her or accept him/her for who he/she is? What will that do to his/her self-esteem? Is thatwhat you want your child to learn, that he/she's not 'normal' and therefore cast away like garbage? His/her education doesn't count?

Do you and your child feel safe there or is it going to be a nervous school year for both of you?

Then, there is the religious aspect too. If this is a religious school, then what has that school just taught your child about his/her religion?

Well, that's enough for now. I don't know if I helped at all, but I hope so.

------------------ I am a mom of two anaphalactic PA boys and my daughter and myself also have allergies.

On Sep 20, 2001

I also am very upset that you were asked not to send your son to kindergarten. I am interested to know what they did when you showed up today.

I have always heard that private schools are not obligated to follow any type of 504 plans, etc. because they do not receive federal funding. My children are both in a private daycare, and I was unable to get peanut products banned from the daycare. I did get them banned from my son's classroom.

If the principal won't meet with you, can you meet with her boss? I would think that it light of the recent tradegy she would be more cooperative - not less so.

Please keep us posted. I was talking about different types of school with someone I work with, and we agreed that there should be a place where they can get an excellent education and come home from it as well.

If there is anything I can do, feel free to e-mail me. We will keep your family in our prayers.

On Sep 20, 2001

vic, I have never heard of such a thing. I got very angry just reading the thread. I can not believe how some school administrations can let this happen. Who makes these decissions and on what legal school policies do they base this upon? I would like to know the protection we have on this kind of matter. I too would try to get some info on this. I sure would like to know myself if I ever encounter the same problem. Hang in there.

[This message has been edited by mybaby (edited September 20, 2001).]

On Sep 20, 2001

Vic, I am so sorry that this is happening to your son and to your family. I have had terrible problems this year with Leah's 504 plan being ignored, and this is at a public U.S. school. I am also dealing with an interim principal; it has been a nightmare. I don't know what to advise; I am not sure that a parochial school needs to uphold a 504 plan. Will your (kind, compassionate and incredibly insightful!) friend go to "bat" for you? I liked MK Ruby's advice of going to school with your son. I would immediately go over the principal's head, too. You have nothing to lose at this point. I totally relate to feeling that everything was in place, and then it all just comes tumbling down without warning. I can also relate to doing your best to come across as a reasonable and non-lunatic person - and it does you no good! Good luck, please know that we are all behind you! Miriam p.s. In our case it was the district nurse who came to our aide and was instrumental in getting things straightened out. Do you have a nurse on staff who could be helpful to you?

On Sep 20, 2001

Cindy, thank-you. You are always so helpful and caring. I can

On Sep 20, 2001

Vic, I am going to make this quick because I have to leave the house, but I didn't wan't to let it go because I probably won't be able to get on again until the weekend. I apologize in advance if I am being repetitive, but I don't have time to read all the responses.

Here's the deal as I understand it:

If your parochial school receives even 1 cent in federal funding (i.e., milk subsidy, etc.), they have to follow a 504. If not, they have no LEGAL obligation to do so (which is not to say they have no moral or ethical obligation). My elder son has some learning disabilities, and we have found that parents who have placed their children in private schools, either secular or parochial, because they think it will be a better environment have been sorely disappointed (ourselves included). You may have to consult a lawyer - I know in NY there are lawyers who do "school system" work at greatly reduced rates; I'm sure your state has such a network as well.

I am so sorry you are having this experience. It is even worse when it is a parochial, rather than a secular school, that deals with a problem in such a manner.

Please keep us updated.

Amy (who is incredibly p*&&%$ at your school right now!)

On Sep 20, 2001

Hi- I'm new here.

What brought me here, though, was being told this morning by my son's preschool teacher that she would not administer any shot or medication(Benedryl) without explicit, written instructions from his allergy doctor. And I overheard the teacher say to the "prinicple" which is actually his last year's teacher since they don't have an actual "principle" yet, that "this mother is giving me a hard time over her son's allergies." A hard time? I simply asked her, "If my son were to ingest peanuts today, would you administer the medication?" And I was told, "No. We'll call 911."

I may have to pull him out of there because I don't feel these people are qualified, or even care about my son for that matter. Just seeing the way they blew off everything I had to say because I'm not his "doctor" makes me very uncomfortable. I guess when I hear from his doctor, I'll have a better idea of what I'll do about this.

On Sep 20, 2001

hello, In my local paper a few months ago there was an article about a infant school that refused to administer the epi-pens to a new pupil. They were happy however to offer this child a place at the school(a state school)on the basis that the parents were aware that they would not administer the pen. Head teachers have the right to do that here.(please if anyone in the uk knows better tell me!, oh how i would love to be wrong on this one.) the parents of this child (funnily enough..sigh) took their child to another state school, admitting that it was not there first choice re education wise. Yet again the childs safety , quite rightly comes first. I mean ,what parent on these boards would settle for sending there child to school with school teachers that refuse to help a child with a life threatening reaction? What does this say about the confidence the school staff would have if there was a different kind of emergancy with a child? If they are so wary of a simple thing like an epi-pen , what are there ablities if a child stopped breathing and needed mouth to mouth etc? stand and watch while they wait for an ambulance. ooooh it makes me soo blooming cross, and sadly very careful with my sons head teacher. williamsmummy

On Sep 20, 2001

Well, if I am reading this properly, it seems to me that this is not a case of the school not complying with your son's 504 (bear with me I'm Canadian) rather it is the case of your school refusing your child access to an education based solely on his PA. To me this is screaming discrimination on the basis of your child's disability. Last time I checked, that was against the law. Would they deny a blind child access to the school on the off chance the child could fall and get hurt? Is it the ACLU that handles discrimination issues in the States? if so, call them! This is just so outrageous!


Katiee (Wade's mom)

On Sep 20, 2001

Hi all and thank-you so much for all of your advice and support.

I would like to apologize to mybaby and California Mom for not including you in my last post, we must have been posting at the same time. So sorry.

Today has been so hectic for me. I believe the phone is permanently attached to my head now, I have writers cramp, and my carpal tunnel is acting up! I need two heads to hold all the information I have acquired today.

I will try to give it to you in the shortest form I can. You know me, I tend to be wordy.

On Sep 21, 2001

Vic, this is all terrible!

It sounds like they are gearing up to ask you to sign a release form, for administering the epi pen. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!!! It is their responsibility to take care of your son in school, end of story! Talk to your allergist about this. My allergist insists that we sign nothing releasing them of their responsibility.

The only thing that you should sign is a medical plan that indicates what they should do in an emergency and/ or the 504 plan.

Hang in there, and give a good fight!

On Sep 21, 2001

Hi again. After a long night of talking things over DH and I decided to pull Mick from school this morning. We included Mick in our decision making.

If the school was to come to us, arms wide open, with an apology, the damage has already been done.

I told his teacher today, when I was collecting his things, that we have not candy-coated any of this for Mick. We have explained to him, this is his life, his allergy and he will to learn to deal with ignorance and discrimination. We are going to focus positive energy on finding a new, SAFE place for Mick. Through our example we hope to teach him to avoid wasting time on anger, and to rise above with his head held high.

The school is the loser. They have lost an opportunity to experience a wonderful young man who has a lot to offer others.

I know we have made the right decision. I will home school Mick until we find a new school.

We have decided to leave Mary in the preschool program for now. She will benefit so much from her wonderful teachers, and we do not want to deprive her of that privilege.

I will greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts on this. Thank-you all for your support!

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

On Sep 23, 2001

vic, first of all, although I feel that you and your DH, along with your son, made the right decision for your family, I still feel both angry and sad that this has happened. Again, I think a lot of my anger has to do with the sheer amount of work you went to to ensure that your son could safely enter school this year.

I like what a lot of people posted above. I especially liked MKRuby's thoughts and also her conclusion that although her children did go to parochial schools they ended up better off in the public school system.

I also think it was important for you to involve your son in your decision making. I know, from the way that you post here, that you would be able to explain clearly, but with warmth, why there were problems at the school and your son can only become stronger by this. It still doesn't mean that I feel it's okay for a 5-1/2 year old to have to deal with this already. But sadly, with our PA children, they do have to deal with lots of stuff that other non-PA children don't have to deal with at a young age. I feel that by involving him in the discussion about your and your DH's decision, you have helped to empower him. I believe that in empowering our children, at young ages re their allergy (allergies), we are hopefully empowering them for life and they will not be the teens that rip off their MedicAlert bracelets and purposely leave their Epi-pens at home. That is my hope. And empowerment, regarding any aspect of our lives, especially at a young age, can only help your son and his self-esteem for the rest of his life.

However, as I said, I still feel enangered by the whole situation. The thing that continues to run around in my brain that I can't comprehend is how much liability insurance does a school or school board feel they must have should something happen to one of our children? First of all, how many of us would sue the school board? And then, when it comes down to it, what is the dollar amount we put on the life of our precious child? There is no dollar amount. So, I believe, in actuality, there is no dollar amount of liability insurance that would be high enough for the schools to actually feel safe.

I understand that this is a litigious society and only recently ran into this with people not wanting to sign the form understanding that Jesse's class is "peanut free". I had never had this problem in the past two years. The principal was now receiving the questioning about what if the people signed the form, made a mistake, and we, the PA parents, sued them for sending in poison to the class should Jesse have a reaction? Because no complaints had ever been made before, or no one was AFRAID before, to simply sign a letter saying that they understood the class was "peanut free" and they would not send peanut products in, and that yes, they had read and understood the letter, I was quite taken aback. I had never come across it before. But, as the principal pointed out, we do live in a litigious society.

I believe that you will do well with homeschooling your son and you know that there is a wealth of information posted here re homeschooling as well as many members who do homeschool who I am sure would welcome off-the-board contact if you ran into any difficulties. Sadly to say [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] I also think it was important that you allow your daughter to remain at the school. I understand that you are a family but I also believe our PA children will come across many situations where their sibling can do something that they can't (i.e., invitations to birthday parties have been my biggest *thing*).

I'm just really pleased that you were able to resolve the situation between yourself and your DH before the school came back with whatever words they were going to say to you. Somehow, I think you would have found that their liability insurance was not sufficient in their eyes and that you would have been forced by them to make a decision, rather than making the difficult decision yourself.

But again, I'm sorry, I'm really angry about this one! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] I feel you should have been told before your son entered school on the first day. I don't feel you should have been told after he had been going to school for three weeks. If you had known before he entered school, at least you could have looked at all of the options before hand and you wouldn't have had to wash all the bloody toys!

I know that with this one, I have been of no help at all, except to express my support, caring and concern, because I have yet to run across such a situation in Canada. I think many Canadians, as Katiee posted above, feel out of place answering in this thread simply because we don't know what to say. But I think at least we can express our feelings to help you get through this difficult time.

Great decision, vic. Sad, makes me really angry, but a good decision for your family!

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]


On Sep 23, 2001

PeanutTrace, this is kinda off topic, and I'm not even clear if you will still have the internet to see this. But when I sent Jesse's medication forms into school for his Epi-pen and asthma meds, which had to be completed by the doctor, I noticed on the form that it said something to the effect that administration of the medication by the school personnel was voluntary. I was going to ask the principal what this meant exactly and I haven't yet. I am sure that it is the same wording that has been on the forms I have had completed the last two years but it's in very fine print. It kinda bothered me.

What if no one voluntarily feels like administering the Epi-pen when Jesse needs it?

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]


On Sep 23, 2001

vic....we are lucky I guess....my son went off to his first day of K2 in a Parochial School here in Massachusetts and they have been more than helpful. The teachers have been marching the kids in to the bathroom every time they eat and wash hands with soapy water! The even moved snack to the cafateria to keep the comtamination to a minimum. We are also blessed in that we there is another little boy in his class with PA. They have been open to all of our suggestions and invited us to speak at Back to School Night on Tuesday. We made little laminated tags for each child to have in their lunchbox.....No Nuts Today.....an easy way to send a message from home if they have a nut free lunch, that they can sit with Patrick and Ian. Good Luck with your battle. I will keep you in our prayers. Kelly

On Sep 24, 2001


I haven't posted in a very long time but, to touch this subject, the same ezact thing happened to my son Bobby. He was going to Catholic school & in the middle of the school year I was asked to remove him. It was because catholic schools in NJ are run by the state commission office & their isn't a nurse at the school full time. I was told when I enrolled him that their is a nurse all the time & in actuality that was not true. I was asked to remove him by the state because, the teachers would not have reponsiblity for him & they were not CPR certified. I called quite a few catholic schools & was told the same thing. A 504 plan does not apply for catholic schools. I was so fit to be tied but, when I looked at it in the postive way, I would rather my son be in an atmosphere where their is a nurse all the time & with teachers who are eductaed on this type of allergy & with teachers who went to training & are CPR certified. I look at it as their are alot of people in my sons school who could take care of him versus 1 school nurse in a catholic school.

I hope this story helped you & I was in the same situation & took total offense when they asked me to remove him but, it was all for the best.


On Sep 24, 2001


I know I am late to jump on the boat but I just got around to reading this post. As horrible as it seems, many kids have the most difficulty getting a plan in place in privvate, religious based schools. I think you made the right decision to pull your son. I think it gives the school a message and your son a message about what is important.

However to play the devil's advocate, I feel confused by your decision to leave your daughter in a school being run by the type of person the principal is. I get a mixed message from that. I understand she has great teachers and would benefit from them but I guess I just have a problem with the fact that you are still essentially supporting the school by keeping your daughter enrolled. On the same note, I respect the fact you have to do what you feel is in the best interest of your family.

Good Luck,


On Sep 26, 2001

Hi everyone and thanks again for everything.

A lot has happened since I last posted. Our friends are still working with the school council members, the Michigan Department of Education is sending me information about home schooling, I have been calling and visiting neighboring schools, I have had contact with several supportive people including former members of the school and church, etc.

Our friends are heavily considering pulling their daughter from Mick

On Sep 26, 2001

What an awful story. Best of luck to your family - I think that you really got a horrible treatment.

My DD is in an independent school for gifted kids - no fed $$ - but they are very sensitive to allergies / special needs. The fees are high, but especially while she is in the younger grades I like knowing that her allergies are recognized. I understand that food allergies and high IQs have been linked in many studies?!?!

Name brand daycares in the US have been sued for saying they would not do an Epi Pen injection. It is covered under the Disablity Act (my understanding).

On Sep 26, 2001

Hi, tired mom of three here. I forgot I wanted to share my letter with you. I mailed this, along with a PAL HERO award, to each of the parents and students in Mick

On Oct 14, 2001

Hi again. Mick's former school has had a meeting about this situation. From what I've heard, they would like to write up a policy stating that no staff members would be allowed to administer any injections of any sort. Another board member suggested they refuse to allow any children with this type of problem into their school. Talk about discrimination!!! I still can't believe they call themselves Christians! I am so disappointed in this school.

But on the brighter side, we have found a public school outside of our district who is very willing to accommodate us. The principal said he is very excited to learn from Mick. How refreshing!

I will keep you posted on this situation. Thanks again for all of your support.

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

On Oct 15, 2001

My PA daughter went to a pre-school run by a church. They were absolutely wonderfull, did everything they could to keep her safe and I was pleased beyond hopes. I have just found out that after my daughter, they have since refused accepting PA kids because of the liability issues. I am so disapointed in them. I thought they were such a good and caring place and then they decided that they didn't want to deal with the PA issues anymore. It is just beyond me as to how they can teach 'respect' and 'tolerance' and all the other religious values them turn around and discriminate against someone. I'm just venting... sorry... Discriminating against someone for medical reasons is just as bad as discriminating becuase of race or religion.

On Oct 15, 2001

You know, for the life of me, I do not understand this. I mean, when a teacher says to the principal, "...this mother is giving me a hard time over her son's allergies"...what kind of teacher is that in our school system? Aren't they the ones teaching our young? What kind of message does it send to non-PA kids? Granted she probably didn't say it in front of other kids but I do not believe for one second that her attitude would not come through in a classroom full of kids. My suggestion to handle this matter...if it were my child, with my child's permission, I would find a very sympathetic reporter for a local paper...someone who handles local/humanitarian type of affairs...and explain the lack of support. I would really, in a very tactful way, try to embarass the school. I bet the parents of the other children would be intersted to hear about this teacher and school. I'm really ticked about this! You'd think we were asking these school to deliver babies or perform brain surgery or something.

And, what is this about segregation? If a parent/PA-child agrees to a peanut free table, why are they so concerned with violating civil liberties if it is voluntary? If the child does not want one but it is forced, well, that is another issue. But, to me it is patronizing that they create a "peanut table". That is crazy.

I'm just really ticked. I'm going to end abruptly or I'll never stop.

On Oct 29, 2001

Hi friends and family,

Just a quickie to say I met with the public school principal again today. This man was dropped from heaven. He is very excited to have Mick at their school and to learn about food allergies. We are hoping to have Mick in school within the next two weeks. He will be meeting with the Kindergarten teacher this week, then the three of us will get together next week to finalize the plan. OK, this is where I throw up. Could someone please remind me again why it was that I wanted to become a parent???

Hope you are all well! More later...

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

On Nov 8, 2001

Dear Vic,

I am stunned by the lack of compassion you have faced. I cannot believe you were treated like this! You really will be better off not to have that negative influence on Mick. I hope that you continue to have good relationships with your daughters teachers.

I am so sorry that people can call themselves Christians, and treat others in that way! I hope we all remember that the word Christian means "to be like Christ". Sometimes humans fall very, very, short of the example that was set for us!

I hope that things are going well for you at your new school. Have you had much response from the other parents in Micks class now that you have pulled him out? Your last response ended with "Now is where I want to throw up." That is exactly how I have felt. I think we all feel that way when we are trying to lay the ground work to keep our kids safe and we are unsure of how others will respond. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes.

On Nov 8, 2001

Hi Twins' mom,

Thank-you for your kind and caring reply. I am still so very disappointed in Mick's previous school, but am very excited about his new one. He still hasn't started yet, but hopefully we will have everything safe and ready to go soon. My daughter's teachers are fantastic. We still see many of Mick's previous Kindergarten friends and their parents when we go to pick up our daughter. The kids love to chat and seem totally untouched by all of this, other than missing each other. We will continue to use this whole situation as a learning experience and hope that it will help Mick deal with similar situations in the future.

By sharing all of this, we are hoping to help other families avoid what we have gone through. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria

[This message has been edited by vic (edited November 08, 2001).]

On Nov 19, 2001

Hi, I am sorry I am so late on this topic. I am new to this and I have been exploring the topics and I felt I should respond to you. I am glad your son's new setting is working out and wish you the best.

Regarding 504 plans...they are developed following section 504 of the Americans with Disabilities Act. This is the Federal law that protects the rights of all Americans with disabilities. There is some controversy over whether food allergies can classify a person as having a disability but the last I heard they do. I believe this act should cover a child's rights in any school setting. I hope that the parochial school looks into this subject.

As far as special education goes, this applies to public school districts. I know that some kids have been placed on Individulized Educational Programs (IEPs) under the category of Other Health Impaired (OHI). To qualify for special education, the disability must affect the child's educational performance within the curriculum or extracurricular activities. In our school district they usually write Individualized Health Service Plans (IHSPs) which are under nursing services not special education. These give the staff detailed instuctions on the signs to look for and actions to carry out (i.e. administer epi-pen, call 911, call parents). This is especially helpful if you have a school health aide (not trained to assess a medical condition) rather than a school nurse (RN). In any case, be sure there is some sort of written plan and that everyone involved feels comfortable with it. If you can, offer training with an epi-pen trainer and get informational handouts for anyone who wants it. I plan to work with the school nurse and offer this training/education as an inservice at my daughter's school. Teachers have certain days set aside for this kind of thing.

I hope things are going better for you I wish you luck and strength.

On Mar 7, 2002

Bumping up for a friend [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Mar 11, 2002


I have thought about you and this situation the last few months. How are things going? Did you leave your daughter at the original school? What type of treatment have you recieved from them? How is your son doing in the public school?

[This message has been edited by twins' mom (edited March 11, 2002).]

On Mar 25, 2002

Hi Twins' mom, thanks for asking all those great questions, sorry it has taken me so long to get back with you.

We did let our daughter finish preschool at the parochial school, only because we did not want to make her suffer because of a couple of office staff idiots. The preschool teachers are beautiful people and took very good care of Mick when they had him. We didn't want to deprive Mary of their love and guidance.

Mick's ex-principal tries to act like nothing ever happened. I see her for what she is and move on. Anyone that can label a five year old "peanut boy" and can tell the local news crew that "as cruel as this may sound, if Mick was to have a reaction here we would just have to stand here and watch him seize until he could receive professional help" isn't worth the time of day. I have come to accept the fact that some people are very self-centered and uncaring. And I have accepted the fact that you cannot educate the ignorant if they do not want to learn. We will find a new preschool for our youngest daughter and our unborn baby.

Mick's new school is incredibly awesome! I cannot say enough good things about them. The principal has been dropped from heaven. Mick's teachers are super! I told them that our motto at home is "reduce the risk and prepare for the worst". They have a adopted that same motto at school. We have a new 504 in place, everyone involved has been trained, and Mick has been having the time of his life! It is so nice to see my baby in a safe environment enjoying being a kid!

Of course I'm still nervous and worry, but at least I know he is as safe as he can be and is being cared for by competent adults! I don't think I'll ever be totally comfortable when Mick is out of my sight, but at least I'm not up all night with anxiety attacks wondering if tomorrow is going to be "the day". And if it is "the day", will someone do all they can to save him. I am so thankful for his new school. Mick's parochial school did us a favor!

Now if I could just convince Mick's principal and teachers to move through the grades with him, I'd be really happy! LOL!

------------------ Peanut/Nut-free wishes, Victoria