Our first problem at school......

Posted on: Thu, 01/29/2004 - 11:58pm
kylersmom's picture
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Joined: 01/30/2004 - 09:00

My son is in 3rd grade and this is the first year we've had a major problem. A boy at school touched Kyler with a snickers on purpose and he had a reaction. We've never had a problem with any of the kids....a few stupid teachers yes ("I didn't know he was allergic to peanuts, I thought he was just allergic to peanut butter")..but never a problem with the kids. They've always watched out for Kyler and have kept PB away from him. Now this one boy has been getting snickers out the machine and touching him with it. I've called his teacher and she's going to talk to the little monster and I'm going to the school today to request all peanut products be taken out of the vending machine. Anyone have suggestions on the best way to go about this?

Thanks
dette

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 12:30am
StaceyK's picture
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Joined: 05/06/2003 - 09:00

ooo, I hope that kid gets more than a talking to. I think a bit more punishment is warranted *IF* he was aware of the allergy.

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 1:31am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

I have no specific advice, other than to NOT let them brush this aside with a "kids will be kids" excuse. The child must know about the allergy; otherwise why would he be going out of his way to touch your child with a Snickers bar? This is bullying, plain and simple, with a possibly tragic outcome. Keep your cool, to the extent possible, and just calmly insist that they deal with this appropriately, until you are satisfied.

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 2:26am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

And just why are there vending machines with candy there in the first place? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
Amy

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 3:34am
Mama S's picture
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Joined: 01/28/2004 - 09:00

We had a similar thing happen to us this year. One of DS's classmates went up to him and intentionally waved his peanut butter sandwich in his face. He knew full well what he was doing. Fortunately, DS's friends immediately formed a circle around him to protect him and started yelling at the boy to leave. Unfortunately, none of the teachers were informed of what happened at that moment. DS is extremely shy and couldn't get up the nerve to tell a teacher. (We had a very long talk with him about that!) Anyways, I immediately got on the phone with the mother of this child and made it very clear that this type of behavior would not be tolerated and that I would be informing the school of what happened. The school talked to both parents and we have never had an incident like this again (knock on wood). Anyways, I really hope that your situation is resolved like ours was. I think it's important that the school step up to the plate and deal with it (harshly I might add). It might also be a good idea for the principal to talk to the whole school (maybe at an assembly) about bullying in general and how there will be severe consequences if it happens. Sometimes, kids need to be reminded of what will happen for unacceptable behavior.
I sincerely hope everything works out for you.

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 3:59am
arachide's picture
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Joined: 08/16/2000 - 09:00

I encourage you to read this excellent article on this very topic at the following link. I've placed some excerpts below. There are some great tips in the article.
[url="http://cgi.cadvision.com/~allergy/bullying.htm"]http://www.calgaryallergy.ca/Articles/bullying.htm[/url]
[i]excerpts from[/i]
Anaphylaxis and Schoolyard Violence
by Deena Mandell, MSW
From AAIA Quarterly, A publication of the Allergy/Asthma Information Assn., Vol. 31, Fall 1995.
Recently, disturbing reports have been received at AAIA of children with life-threatening food allergies being terrorized by "bullies". The latter threaten to harm them with that most feared of weapons -- the allergenic food. Parents have asked how they can deal with such situations...
If the bully is a student at your child's school, approach school officials and enlist their aid in dealing with the situation. It is important that school personnel understanding that this situation is more than just anxiety-producing for your child. They will need your help to understand that the situation actually could, even inadvertently, become a matter of life and death. (Ask your local AAIA Activator or your physician to help get your point across, if needed). [b]You might find it helpful to discuss the matter with your local police department.[/b] Often there is a special officer or department which deals with youngsters, and they usually see preventive intervention as quite appropriate. Police often prefer to "set kids straight" in an informal, non-threatening way before a problem is full-blown rather than sit back until you have an actual offense to report. Everyone (the bully included) must be helped to understand that this represents a potential crime and a serious potential threat to your child's safety, not the complaint of overprotective parents or a wimpy kid.
[This message has been edited by arachide (edited January 30, 2004).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 6:58am
e-mom's picture
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Joined: 04/23/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Going Nuts:
[b]And just why are there vending machines with candy there in the first place? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
Amy[/b]
I ditto what Amy said!! We ARE talking about 3rd grade, right???
If it were me, the first thing I'd do was to make sure the other boy knows that a punishment will occur for his bullying with an intent purpose to cause harm!
The second thing I would do is have those candy vending machines taken out of the school!!!!!
What about have the machines replaced with fresh fruit?
And, I'm sorry but if that teacher was teaching MY son--I would relay what she said to the principal!! She doesn't know that peanut butter is made out of peanuts!!!??? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] Good grief!! What else doesn't she know???
I'm sorry that you are going through this!! You must be so frustrated!
[This message has been edited by e-mom (edited January 30, 2004).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/30/2004 - 7:24am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

You absolutely MUST get the principal involved and check your student handbook, because if your child's PA has been diagnosed as a "life-threatening" disability requiring a 504, he/she is most likely covered under school policy for harrassment and/or something like terroristic acts/threats, etc. The offender must be dealt with in an appropriate, (yet I would say documented) way.
A trip to the principal's office with stern warnings that "This WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN!" may be all that is needed to do the trick. In our school, a PA girl was the victim of a couple of boys sticking a PB&J sandwich in her face. After a trip to the principal, I don't believe they bothered her again.
[This message has been edited by ryan's mom (edited January 30, 2004).]

Posted on: Sat, 01/31/2004 - 12:29am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

The school probably has a written policy on "bullying". Ask the principal for a copy of it. Personally, I would want to know specifically how the school will address this child because it may have a backlash effect on your child. If they claim "confidentiality" then don't give up and ask again but in the hypothetical.
Such great advice on this thread! I too am shocked that there is a vending machine accessible to kids.
Gail
P.S. arachide, it's so great to see you posting more frequently!

Posted on: Sat, 01/31/2004 - 9:45am
cathlina's picture
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Joined: 06/29/2001 - 09:00

Waving peanut butter etc. at a peanut allergic person is like putting a gun to their head and...that is exactly what I would tell a prinicipal.
When my daughter was younger, she tested allergic to fish. One day at school, she didn't have fish but had a substitute for school lunch. A boy her age asked her why she was not eating fish and she told him she was allergic to it. He promptly took his fish on his plate and put it in her food.
She was smart enough not to eat any more food.
When I found out about it, I immediately called the principal and told her that child could have killed mine. I demanded loud and clear that the child's parents be called in for a conference, that he receive some type of in school discipline and that he apologize to my daughter.
The principal did everything I demanded. I was angry and she knew it.
Don't take this crap from people. It is bullying and children doing this should be disciplined.
Also, if you have an incident like this that requires a trip to the ER. File a claim on your homeowners insurance against the other child. The other child's homeowner's insurance will be responsible for the medical costs. They'll get the message real fast.

Posted on: Sat, 01/31/2004 - 9:53am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

This thread simply highlights the fact that it might be harder to prove harrassment (with a disbility) if there is no 504.
Another reason why having a 504 designation may be very important.

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