OK.....I\'M REALLY FREEKING RIGHT NOW

Posted on: Tue, 09/24/2002 - 8:33am
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i just got off the phone with the superintendent from the school.....

They will continue to serve peanut butter and Jelly sands as a lunch option. It is up to me whether I keep my son at school or at home. This is three days a week. He is finally doing well in school.............do I keep him home or send him?????????? I may add he has had a hard time in school prior to this academically. He is 7. HELP!!!

Posted on: Tue, 09/24/2002 - 8:47am
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What about these 504 plans? Is this legal?? I only have a 3 yo, so sorry if I don't get it. It just sounds very unsafe. One thing to allow it if parents pack it, another entirely to serve it outright. Is there a peanut free table, and how sensetive is your child? Is he airborne sensetive? I am so sorry for your trouble, and it is a shame if your sone has trouble with school and things are finally on track there. becca

Posted on: Tue, 09/24/2002 - 8:52am
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I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I really can't believe that the school would think that it is ok to sever PB&J w/ so many children now w/ nut allergies...this is just crazy. I really wonder if you could maybe make this a bit more public. Do you have a local newspaper that you could talk to about this?

Posted on: Tue, 09/24/2002 - 11:21am
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OK.
So far 2 weeks from now, we will meet to discuss an IDEA. I can request a 504 if the IDEA board feels a peanut allergy (a subtopic---believe it or not) affects my child's ability to learn. NO $#!^? Let's see------------If i can't breathe, I can't learn. YAWN. no new news here. In the mean time, they will continue with business as usual. It is up to me to decide to send him to school. I think the newspaper idea is a great one. There are also news shows that handle consumer complaints per se, but, I don't know how to say this..........................I am so worn out and I feel beat down lately regarding this issue. The principal suggested "homeschooling", and I'm beginning to feel it may be a less arduous option for both my son and us.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited September 24, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited September 24, 2002).]

Posted on: Wed, 09/25/2002 - 1:29pm
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Momma Bear, I don't know you, but I believe that what the school is doing is ridiculous. This is a safety issue. If your child required tube feeding, medications, etc. they would be required to comply. How is this any different? Your child requires a peanut free area. It's not a request, it's a life threatening issue. period. I'm sure you're exhausted, but really-I believe that the school is showing that they really are not interested in your child's needs simply by suggesting that you homeschool. Personally, I would fight, and I would go all the way. I can relate with how tired you are, but don't give up! Your child deserves the best education (whether that is at home or school), so it's up to you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Good luck!

Posted on: Wed, 09/25/2002 - 2:08pm
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I agree w/all the above posts, I would absolutly fight it all the way. My son will start school next yr, so I haven't yet encountered this and hopefully I won't (We'll see how they respond when I go in Jan.) But I too, thought at first, you know I'll just home school, until I read all the old posts here in reference to IEP's and Section 504, if you haven't read them, you MUST! Theres alot of information to absorb, but believe me, do this, and then go talk to the administrators and let them know you KNOW what you are talking about. I believe they try to "bully" parents around to save themselves work, but if you go in there and they know that you've done your research, I believe they'd be more cooperative, atleast have a pnut free area in the lunch room and class rooms. I would absolutely require them to give me this at the very least. I'm a very passive person and let things go over just to keep from confrontations, but I have learned w/PA you can't, my son can't stand up for himself, and he already misses out on alot of things b/c of his pa and school will not be one of them. I too, would go to the paper and my districts school board member, the school board member in your district is there for YOU, they will help you if your school is not responsive in the needs of your child. I know I haven't been through this yet, but I wanted to tell you how much information and "confindence" I recv'd from reading the older post concerning these issues and your rights.
HTH
Lana

Posted on: Thu, 09/26/2002 - 1:52am
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Don`t have time for a long post as I am supposed to be working right now, just wanted to say that on the home page for this site, there is a link to CBS News presentation last Friday about peanut allergy. Read it---it is very short. It clearly states that peanut allergy by law is a disability, and the school is REQUIRED TO ACCOMODATE IT. Also, last year an employee at our school (my daughter is also 7) asked me to homeschool my daughter. This was because our school required all employees to be trained in Epipen for the three pa kids in the school. This employee didn`t want the responsibility, so he told me out on the playyard I should homeschool my child. This is illegal. The school is required to accomodate pa and cannot ask a parent with a disability to homeschool their child. I think you should call the Office of Civil Rights for the Dept of Education in your state. They should know about the law on pa and public school, and will probably back you. If you happen to be in California, I can find you the name and phone number. Don`t have time to write more, maybe later. Good luck.
[This message has been edited by Carefulmom (edited September 26, 2002).]

Posted on: Thu, 09/26/2002 - 3:18am
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I would definitely go with the 504 if I were you. School is so important for kids, far beyond the academics! My pa son is in 1st grade and luckily our school does not serve pb, so as long as he sits away from the packers at lunch he is fine. I don't have anything written with the school (beyond an emergency medical plan) but I would pursue whatever options were available to keep him in school (and safe) if they did start to serve pb. And whatever effort it takes now will be so worth it for your child and would probably be a lot less effort in the long run than homeschooling! Good luck!

Posted on: Thu, 09/26/2002 - 10:09pm
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Many thanks for your replies.
I've been up again since 3 am. I think it must be a panic attack. I keep waking up with images of things I have discussed concerning my son's peanut allergy recently with the school. I was up earlier this week with terrible stomach upset doing the same thing. I am trying to catch up on this site, reading important information from people experiencing the same things. This type of information is priceless. We talked to a lawyer two days ago. A lawyer specializing in school law. Less than five minutes into the conversation, we were thinking "use simple words, avoid compound sentences". This guy was so uniformed. I'm not expecting everyone to be an expert in food allergies and anaphylaxis, but at least in your field. If you are a lawyer, you should at least realize when someone has violated the law. If you are a school lawyer, you should at least understand when a child meets the criteria for a 504 or IEP plan. I'm not a lawyer but I understand that. A doctor may not specialize in surgery, but they should recognize when someone needs basic first aid steps to control bleeding. All I'm asking for is to stop the bleeding. Hold pressure for a while? But I guess that is going to have to be my job for now, since no one at the school (or in the legal field) has the family jewels to take action. (am i going to get edited? I apologize in advance, but my stomach is churning, and i don't know if I should wake my son up for school or not. Is this supposed to be part of raising a child???? Of the school experience?? I also apologize for something else...........I am not going to use my son's name here or get into to many details concerning this since very big lawyers in this area are scrutinizing this issue for the school. I'm sure they could find this web site and identify me if I used specific details. They don't need much more of an upper hand now, do they? I know an official for the school stated they were looking into it and consulting attorneys. I know the lawyer we consulted was going to look on the web himself. I know he was talking us out of legal action. I'm not looking for monitary compensation, but legal action seems to be the only recourse to get results from the school district. I don't know how much more time we can spare.
for listening,
our grateful thanks.

Posted on: Thu, 09/26/2002 - 10:57pm
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How about calling FAAN? Might they have a list of legal advisers they use and could give you a more educated referral to a lawyer who knows of these matter? Is there a civil rights organization for disabled individuals in your community. I think it is critical to engage the help of a rational, level-headed legal representative, who knows your rights on this matter.
I do not mean to be patronizing in saying this, but know how your head can spin when fired up with the juices of anxiety, anger, and protectiveness for one's child. You want a positive outcome all around, so he will be happy and comfortable, once properly accomodated in the system, you know?
I have empathy for you, and your anxiety. Even little things have just had me shaking with this allergy at times. The constant resistence and ignorance of others is just just such a tremendous strain over time. I truly hope this works out favorable for you. becca

Posted on: Fri, 09/27/2002 - 12:20am
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My son is peanut allergic and high functioning autistic. I went through hell with his school last year on all fronts (as I'm sure you can imagine.)
You had mentioned keeping your son home, and I just wanted to let you know that while I think you should fight for your son, I also think home schooling is an EXCELLENT option IF you can do it. I cut back my work hours to part-time and am now home schooling (gramma watches the two during the morning). It is SO much better for both of us. He still has an ISP with his school if I want to utilize their services (I don't), but they had no intent to remove PB&J from the menu and wanted to put him in an "inclusive special ed" room because of his distractibility (well, duh, he's autistic, but I didn't want him with the emotionally disturbed kids learning bad behaviors, either).
They had a "peanut free" table, which is wiped down separately, but for some reason, they never bothered to place him there despite my constant pleas for them to do so.
My son is in the 2nd grade (a year early), and we ordered a home school curriculum which takes us about 3 hours a day to complete, sometimes more, sometimes less depending on his attitude towards the work on any given day. The thing that makes this choice worth it for me is no longer losing sleep over my worries about him at school. Whether or not he's getting the attention he needs, whether or not he's going to be exposed to peanuts, whether or not some other kids parent is going to bring in some snack with peanuts in it that my son will either not know about or not be able to have.
I am doing what I can to make my son feel "normal." I'm lucky, in that in my neighborhood, there are some 40+ kids. Almost 1/3 of them are homeschooled (and it's those kids whose behavior and attitudes are significantly better!). He is not outcasted by this choice. His self-esteem has risen in a few short weeks, he's happier, I'M happier and I'm done arguing and fighting with the school.
On another note, I just found out the other day that my daughter (not yet 2) is also allergic to peanuts (she was in the hospital with an infection in her lymph nodes and they gave her peanut butter and crackers and she got a horrible, swollen rash all over her face!). And now that I know how well home schooling works and how fun it is (and whoah, what a bonding experience!), I don't think she's ever going to step foot in a public school!
We're all much happier now that we flipped the proverbial bird to the public school system. Got a great, non-religious curriculum and he's doing WONDERFUL with it. I don't regret my choice and I think I'm fighting for my son now in a much more positive way and no longer losing sleep over it.
Email me anytime if you want to chat.
~Melanie

Posted on: Fri, 09/27/2002 - 2:00am
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I will email you! My email is "fritzing" right now, but I am too busy to get online with "tech support". Can you imagine? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Yes, we have considered homeschooling. The principal practically demanded we do it. However, I'm really OCD.............so it's hard for me to "put things aside". Especially this issue. I understand that the school system is obligated to pay for this option. Supplies, etc. Beka curriculum is what I would probably use. It costs about a thousand to start. The small Christian school he attended for kindergarten (and they handled the peanut issue much better------must be because of where their focus is) costs about twice that per year. I attended their school in high school and it was an excellent curriculum. I might send him to that school again........but they move at such a fast pace and strive for "excellence". They offered to start a learning program for our son, but, quite frankly, I don't want my son to be the experimental case and I know their resources are not as extensive as the public system. I also am looking at the fact that our other son, who will be three in October is facing a severe speech delay. If I run from this problem (PA, LD, and Asthma), I better pack my younger son's bags as well (in relation to his speech delay).
I still have not ruled out either option. Still, somewhere down the road I may have to use the public school system and will face the same obstacles I am now. From what I understand, it is a problem best tackled in the early years.
I appreciate your honesty and would love to talk! Is your email address current?

Posted on: Fri, 09/27/2002 - 8:46am
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Waterloo, Iowa schools will no longer be serving any peanut product in any of the school lunches due to a peanut allergic child. This is district wide.
Just announced this week.

Posted on: Sat, 09/28/2002 - 2:21am
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Mamma Bear it is VERY wise for you to be careful what you post on the net. I know from experience [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Good luck! I hope things work out for you.

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 2:17am
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MommaBear: (Tangent here)
What started everything for my son and his IEP in school was his doctor referred him to ChildFind (county resource whose main purpose is to locate and identify "at risk" kids before school begins, starting at 18 months to 5 years old). Almost all counties have similar programs nationwide, it just goes by different names. He was identified as needing speech therapy and got it from the county. Last year, in first grade, he had speech therapy, occupational therapy, social stories therapy and special ed time due to their recent diagnosis of Asperger's.
If your younger son needs speech therapy and you decide to homeschool it WILL NOT adversely affect the services your county is required to provide him if he is indeed "at risk". If ChildFind (or whatever your county calls it) finds he qualifies, he qualifies. If you homeschool, it goes under and ISP instead of an IEP and services can begin now, instead of waiting until he is in kindergarten.
I found it very hard to back off from my fight with the school, too. But then it dawned on me one day that I was fighting with the school for all the wrong reasons. I knew in my heart what was right, and my backing out isn't backing down. I'm now fighting for the right person in the right way and I can make a real difference where it really matters. To him. My son.
Momma Bear protects her cubs, right? I was driving my cubs nuts by ranting and raving all day and all night about the injustice of it all. I was stressed out and stressing him out. He may be high functioning austistic (that's what Asperger's is), but he's not stupid. In fact, he's downright brilliant in some ways and overly empathic (another Asperger's symptom) and my emotions, whether I talked about it or not, threw him all out of whack and caused him more stress than he needed.
Homeschooling is not the right decision for everybody, and I wasn't even sure it would be the right decision for us until we started it last month, but I am absolutely thrilled with how it is working out. And last week we had our first ISP meeting and I officially told the school I didn't think their services were necessary any longer. But, the ISP stays open until he's 14 since he qualified. If I change my mind or he relapses in speech or gross/fine motor skills and I need help, they're required to help me. I seriously doubt I will need it.
And yes... my email should be current. No changes in many years. You can also email me at [email]fos4snt@yahoo.com[/email].
~Melanie
[This message has been edited by MeCash (edited October 01, 2002).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 4:02am
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Thank you to all who replied (we should hold a convention some day.)
To MeCash: some time ago, I followed my research to "Aspergers" as well. It has never left my mind. Several possibilities have never left my mind. I will tell you, however, my dear beloved father, who passed this Easter, was a carbon copy of my son. Or should I say this in reverse? It offers me comfort to know my father lived to 84 and made his own way in a hostile world. As a matter of fact, despite comming here unable to speak, read or write English, he accomplished the same on his own, held the same job for 45 years and raised a family without any help. I always turned to him for advice and the answers he gave profound. I smile everytime I see my father in my son. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] BTW, my father's mother was told "your son is not meant for school, find him a job, he needs to work" (in second grade). He was still the smartest and most perceptive man I ever will know. I doubt I'd fare very well in a foreign country, unable to speak read or write the language and on my own. Despite 3 degrees. He was also one of the most feeling and compassionate persons I will ever meet. Always taking care of others. Maybe as a mother, I just worry to much. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 8:35am
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Momma Bear,
I'm just jumping in here to say that my youngest has apraxia of speech. Any chance this could be the situation with your child?
Tammy

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 10:14am
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Lam,
Do you mean my youngest (almost 3)?
The younger has not talked much, but he is very "verbal". Very theatrical, very able to express himself even though he uses no words.
He does say "no" (often and with emotion) "ouch", and "I" (for "Hi"). Occasionally, Mama. He will however do what you ask him, and can point out specific things. Belly button, ear, my eyes, daddy's ears, etc. I think he may have motor apraxia. He is being evaluated this week. I think it would probably work itself out, since he is on time with other developmental tasks. But with the resource available, why wait? My husband did not speak until after he was 2 1/2, when asked why..............."Because I had nothing to say". LOL. He is still the strong silent type.

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 11:20am
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Momma Bear,
Good luck with the evaluation. If apraxia is mentioned, please feel free to contact me - I'll post my e-mail for you if you want me to. My son was diagnosed with it at 18 months. He will be 4 the end of this month.
Take care,
Tammy

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 11:26am
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Tammy,
Go ahead and post the email....I'm sure I'll want to ask you some questions whether apraxia is mentioned or not. My doctor was hesitant to evaluate my little guy earlier. But he gave me several scripts for evals at this visit. One was to Easter Seals. Do you have any thoughts on this?? Aside from not speaking, he is a brilliant child. And he does manage to effectively express himself.

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 12:52pm
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My situation was very similar. I really got tired of all school personnel disregarding anything I had to say, or even that my daughter qualified for a 504 plan. I haven't posted in a while, and I feel really guilty about not replying to some of the wonderful responses I received. I have since become PTA President of the school and have been extremely involved with many activities. The principal and I had many conflicts when my PA daughter first began school in kindergarten. After the final straw, I shot this email off to the superintendent of my county:
Dear Mr. Billy K. Cannaday, Jr.:
I am emailing you regarding my daughter Kelsey Livingston who is a student at Falling Creek Elementary School. I have met with Mr. McCrumb on a few occasions regarding my daughter's Class 6 Peanut allergy (this is the highest sensitivity level there is and she also has asthma). Initially, I have tried to discuss, in detail, her allergy and the severity of it. I told him what needs to be set in place in order to minimize the risk of a severe, if not fatal, reaction. I have been very cooperative, polite and cordial throughout this entire process.
I will not write EVERYTHING that has been mishandled because you would, quite frankly, have a book to read.
I am a member of FAAN (Food Allergy and Anaphylactic Network which is nationally recognized and accepted nationwide especially by the American Asthma Association) as well as a worldwide organization online [url="http://www.peanutallergy.com."]www.peanutallergy.com.[/url] I know for a fact that MANY schools all over this nation, as well as the world, have implemented and promoted peanut/nut free classrooms/schools. Since my daughter's allergist insisted upon at least a peanut free classroom and it was denied, I implemented a system of washing hands after lunch and after snack for her classmates. I just found out tonight that these children are not washing their hands after snack, but only after lunch when I am there to supervise.
On Thursday, September 20, 2001, Mr. McCrumb came to me after the children had their hands washed and asked me if it was really necessary for the children to wash their hands after lunch because it takes too much time. (Please remember that I just now tonight found out about snack time washing not being followed). I told him that I provided all of the needed information already from FAAN, which is a legitimate source of information. He said , "I know that, but that does not pertain to Kelsey. I need a note from her Doctor that says that we have to do this." Also, he wants a videotape of a child wheezing. He actually asked me what a wheeze is, even after watching the tape that the school nurse, Becky Dyson, had shown. I also know for a fact that Falling Creek Elementary has several students on a nebulizer needing periodic breathing treatments throughout the year. I'm sorry, but this was the last straw. I previously, upon request by Mr. McCrumb and Ms. Dyson, provided extensive documentation on this allergy and contact reactions. I have spent many hours gathering information and providing information that they may need. I have donated all of my own books, resources, etc. The school has not purchased anything what-so-ever. I have had such resistance regarding this from the first day of school. There is much unwarranted hostility from certain school personnel, which is totally uncalled for.
I am gathering a packet together, this weekend, regarding a 504 plan for my daughter. I know for a fact that she is protected under Section 504 and will pull all resources together as one, which include the 504 plan for my daughter, the corresponding links to 504 eligibility, and incidences where there have been students who have died due to school irresponsibility (also the legal ramifications that occurred thereafter). I did not want to do this originally. I felt that when I provided all information to the Principal, that he would work with me to ensure her life's safety. Evidently, he feels that convenience wins out to a human life. I would not hesitate to get my lawyer, the State Department of Education of VA and the media involved at this point, or God forbid a reaction occurred.
My Husband and I would like to meet with you personally to discuss, in logged detail, the events leading up to this and a solution in the form of a 504 plan for my daughter. I would not be contacting you if we were getting the cooperation from Falling Creek Elementary School. We are outraged, as well as quite a few friends, family members, and neighbors.
I will be contacting you on Monday, September 24, 2001, first thing for an appointment. My contact information is as follows:
Shawn E. Livingston
4817 Whetstone Rd.
Richmond, VA 23234
Home Phone: 804-275-6975
email: [email]shawnbeth@home.com[/email]
Thank you,
Shawn E. Livingston
Adam T. Livingston
The very next day, the principal called me to ask what is it that he could do to accomodate me. He was more than willing to discuss the 504 Plan as well as any other plans that would ensure my child's well-being. I would like to add that the principal and I have come a very very long way since this point in time, but it took this extreme measure to induce a beginning understanding response. He is so understanding now and has more kids with PA coming to the school. I only wanted to include this because I don't think school personnel take this seriously sometimes until you force it upon them. Then, they sometimes, start to really get it. By the way, we work very well together now, PA and no PA!! Please contact me if you need to!
Shawn E. Livingston
FCE-PTA President
Email changed new address:
[email]shawnbeth@comcast.net[/email]
[This message has been edited by Shawn Livingston (edited October 01, 2002).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 7:38pm
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Shawn,
You must be the calvary. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Again, I have been up since about 2am, working this thing through in my head. Your post was most welcome! This site is great. Just yesterday, my son's pediatrician sent the school a letter detailing what he would like to see done regarding my son's PA. He has been wonderful! I left a copy for at least 7 individuals at the school. And one for his "permanent record". [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I am told to expect a reply today in mail from the district's lawyer. I can only wonder? This in reply to a four page letter we sent almost 2 weeks ago. I guess they don't have the same sense of urgency as we do. The superintendent is always 1: on the phone, 2: in a meeting, 3: with an appointment, 4: out of the office, but most likely 5: hiding behind his secretary. I am really thinking about home schooling, but I can't understand how one school in the district could handle the PA issue so poorly, while another offer current and accepted solutions? Thank you for the email update! Is the phone number current? I suspect I will have to "legitimalize" our right to have a 504 and possibly involve the Civil Rights department. There is also a school nurse in our state capitol office that supports the rights of PA children in school. Last time we talked, she was very encouraging. Yes, there is always the media, but I have found the media always has their own "agenda". Again, your reply was timely and much appreciated. I too, have "fired off" letters at such times. They are always the best ones because they come from the heart.
MommaBear

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 10:18pm
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Momma Bear,
First, I want to say how sorry I am that you and your child are having such a difficult time with school. I truly believe that the key to having success at school (with the PA, I mean) is having COMPASSIONATE people at school. It sounds like you have a lot of digging to do, and educating to do, to get to the compassion that is buried inside your school administration. I wish you luck.
[This message has been edited by Lam (edited October 02, 2002).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 10:25pm
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((((Mommabear)))!!!
Many hugs to you! I honestly know what you are going through. It is so hard to try to get people to cooperate and work with you. I thought I was going to go out of my mind last year! I couldn't sleep for a while, because all I kept thinking about was "Is my child going to be okay tomorrow at school?". I don't think they realize what we go through, knowing that something as simple as PB or Peanuts can actually kill our children, especially when it seems so unbelievable to them. I have to go because I have to go get ready for work and take kids to school. I'll be back home later! The phone number is correct as well as the email address posted in previous reply. Please feel free to contact me regarding anything! I'll check back with you later!
Just remember, DO NOT GIVE UP!
Shawn E. Livingston

Posted on: Tue, 10/01/2002 - 11:03pm
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Tammy,
I have the email, edit away!
To all those who have passed email and numbers: My heartfelt thanks, I will be using them!! I just haven't been able to do much else recently besides keep up with doctor appts, work, the school administration, and every day life. Everytime I sit down to send a few emails, I inevitably drift back to this current project. I am trying to anticipate what will come up at the next school meeting we have with the district reps. I have a clue, and they said they have made some "observations". Well, I bet they are observations we have covered long ago and addressed. And probably things I tried to inform them of at the beginning of the school year. But, let's have at it, ey? *EXPLICATIVE*, I have to be a Mother, a Wife, a Social Worker, a Clinical Psychologist, an Educator, and a Lawyer all in one? Did I forget anything? LOL
Shawn,
Yes, thanks for the hugs! I will be in touch. It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who looses sleep over these things. You start to feel like you are completely ineffective when that happens. It is hard right now, since I just recovered from a long bout of sleeplessness after my father died. I NEVER had difficulty sleeping prior to that. We are never supposed to recieve burdens we cannot bear. I should feel blessed then?

Posted on: Sun, 10/06/2002 - 12:23am
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shawn hi
[This message has been edited by synthia (edited December 30, 2003).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/06/2002 - 12:25am
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shawn hi
[This message has been edited by synthia (edited December 30, 2003).]

Posted on: Sat, 07/26/2003 - 11:03am
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Flash forward. Close to a year has passed. Now what?
The most my family has managed to accomplish with the public school system is a stalemate. More dissapointing was the lack of compassion and understanding from those [i]in our own faith[/i]. Effectively, the importance of my son attending both the private school and church associated with it was superceeded by the ability to sell peanut butter candy during lunch.
I am, however, going to look into the "ISP" that MeCash mentioned. So far, we have not explored this option, but it sounds similiar to something we have had in mind for a while.
MommaBear

Posted on: Mon, 07/28/2003 - 2:09am
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Hey MommaBear!
I know how you feel with the hurt and disappointment. I can only imagine we have all been there at somtime with this.
We are all pioneering through this allergy. And let's face it, pioneering has never been easy.
I have learned to "let go" of the hurt and disappointment that has come along with this. To me it is like a rock in my shoe or perhaps a bug in my eye. I have learned to quickly stop and take that rock out so I can continue on to the next step ~ and as for the bug....if I don't get it out...it blurs my vision and I can't see where I need to go.
Sometimes I may need to sit a little longer in order to remove that rock or bug. Sometimes I may need to rest a little longer in order to heal the "fresh wound" so I can come back stronger. ....Careful not to sit too long...knowing the longer I sit...the harder it may be to get back up.
I have learned.....I have to get that rock or bug out...I can't be upset that the rock or bug got there in the first place, it's not going to change the fact that "it is" there... Acceptance and move forward. Acceptance, I believe, is half the battle.
Adapt and move. I believe it is non acceptance, non adaption, etc which weighs us down. We could drown there, I think.
My mother taught me courage. She is my hero.
I believe there is nothing to fear but fear itself. It can paralyze us. Without fear, we are able to move forward, make good, strong, right and healthy decisions for ourselves and our families. I believe the opposite of fear is love. And don't we love our sweet sweet children....~
Be strong...I figure in your heart, you already know exactly what you want and need to do. Embrace it. You are a fighter...hence your name....!
Best~
k

Posted on: Sun, 09/07/2003 - 7:35am
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reraising for synthia.

Posted on: Sun, 09/07/2003 - 2:30pm
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so sorry, i have not been keeping up since the start of school all i have to say is i love you for your words.your children will too !!! i have a??? if they want you to home school so badly are they also willing to pay you a teachers salary?? are they willing to pay for materials?are they going to pay you benefits,sick time,school holidays ect. ect. ect.???I know that is not the point but...
it seems as though they are not thinking it all the way through.but the saying goes"don't mess with a mammabear and her cubs!" and now it is time to let the fur fly!!! bear hugs are being sent your way and prayers!

Posted on: Mon, 09/08/2003 - 12:27am
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Quote:Originally posted by domesticgodess:
[b] i have a??? if they want you to home school so badly are they also willing to pay you a teachers salary?? are they willing to pay for materials?are they going to pay you benefits,sick time,school holidays ect. ect. ect.???[/b]
I so completely understand your sentiment. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] It's not really about money, it's about justice. Ethics, humanity, compassion.
As I understand it, homeschooling and schooling from the school system in one's home (homebound) are two different things. I could be wrong.
As I understand it, although I have had some [i]private evaluation[/i] of my children, the public school system will still insist (yea, as stated in a letter from their lawyers to my family) on a complete and thourough evaluation performed by the public school system [i]and will take us to due process[/i] to complete such (if necessary) if we choose to enroll our child in the public school system again (older cub, age 8).
My problem with this? Well, [i]motivation[/i] for one. and [i]Safety[/i]. We never achieved a 504 plan adequate to provide even [i]reasonable and relative safety[/i] to address needs he had. Don't know if it was [i]even possible[/i]. Suspect it might not have been.
Either way my family reached a point were [i]we fled the situation, cub in arms[/i] and secluded ourselves within the cave.
As far as letting persons into our home/cave to attend to any need our children may have: Our home is sacred. It is paramount to us that our cubs understand and feel this is so. Letting persons within it's confines and walls of protection primarily for the purpose to address our children and their needs would require that [b]trust[/b] be established. I am at a loss at how this can (at this point in time, and in light of the past) be established.
MommaBear (?) (cautious, contemplative thought)

Posted on: Mon, 09/08/2003 - 12:56am
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Mommabear
Got you e_mail. no problem
I too understand not wanting to open that BOX
We are done with the Pre-school.I have no trust in the STAFF at that school.
Hang in there.There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hope the cubs are doing well.
Hope to chat soon
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Tue, 09/09/2003 - 3:39am
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Mommabear, Just wanted to give you an update based on our discussion in Cindys thread. Today was the first day that pb&j was served in the cafeteria so I decided to walk over to the school and take ds outside to eat. Just for the 2 pb days this week and keep track of how many kids order it.
Ate outside and my ds cried when I left him. Broke my heart. Then 5 minutes after I got home I hear sirens. Gave me heart failure as I sat just waiting for the phone to ring. Sirens again 10 minutes after that and Im wondering why Im doing this??
Feeling VERY envious of you right now!
However I also have a very strong feeling about people doing whats right, and I can totally understand your feelings of frustration because your ds has a RIGHT to go to school. Injustice is a terrible feeling. But I still think putting that aside you got the better deal!

Posted on: Tue, 09/09/2003 - 4:34am
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Mommabear, Just wanted to give you an update based on our discussion in Cindys thread. [/b]
Thank you. [i]thank you.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 09/09/2003 - 4:40am
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b] Today was the first day that pb&j was served in the cafeteria [/b]
In *my* personal situation, when I found out instances like this were occurring and [i]sanctioned[/i] by the school after the school being made aware that a child with PA was in attendance..................... I became physically ill at the thought.
I had to ask myself (with regard to the sanctioned activity): [i]Why[/i]????
Wondering if you have come across my post regarding the "accommodation" the school made in our (my family's) *personal* situation? (When pressed during a 504 meeting and in light of ADA being a [b]federal[/b] law and the lunch program in *our personal situation*) being the [b]Federal Brown Bag Lunch Program[/b]?

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:02am
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I had to ask myself (with regard to the sanctioned activity): Why????
My 5 year old asked me today as we were walking to the school playground " Mom, why do they even MAKE peanut butter sandwiches at school when Im allergic??"
Then as my boys are on the slide I look down and what is lying there? A reeses pb cup wrapper! Boy did that make me feel better!
Well no problems the first pb&j day , 43 kids ordered, but they expect more tomorrow (not a good alt. choice). BTW our school is about 175 students. So tomorrow I will go eat outside with him again. Hopefully no more tears.

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:03am
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Wondering if you have come across my post regarding the "accommodation" the school made in our (my family's) *personal* situation? (When pressed during a 504 meeting and in light of ADA being a federal law and the lunch program in *our personal situation*) being the Federal Brown Bag Lunch Program?
no, I dont believe I have. Which thread is it in?

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 12:00pm
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Hopefully no more tears.[/b]
How sad for your little boy. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
I hope that he feels better. And you, too.

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 12:16pm
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Homeschooling, vs schooling at home.
Those are (usually) two different things. Schooling at home is done by the school system, and keeps the parents out of the decision making, just like regular school. You usually get a tutor, and have no say in the program being followed. From my point of view, you get the worst of both worlds. Your child ends up isolated, and you as the parent is being pushed aside.
Homeschooling is a different beast, although this varies state by state and province by province, but *in general*, one parent acts as tutor/teacher. Parents get to pick a curriculum, a timetable, a "speed" (gifted kids can go faster, and/or do more, slower kids can slow down). *AND* the kid is not isolated. The whole family functions as a UNIT, instead of being fragmented.
Depending on the curriculum chosen, and the state you live in, you may get a grade level at the end of the year, or you may have to pass some sort of exam, or you get total peace till high school. It varies wildly.
Personnally we've chosen to homeschool for many reasons, PA being just one little part of the equation. My son is one of those "slightly allergic". The doctor didn't want to support us when I wanted the epi with the kid, and not locked away in the nurse's office. The school director was aggressive when I asked if we could work together to find something safer. But the main reason is that my son is very bright, but failed the gifted test by 2 points. That meant he wasn't eligible for special services and he had to do a normal schooling, although he's been reading since age 3, and read the first Harry Potter this summer at age 5. Not counting his math skills, and his resolution skills that are also beyond his age. What he has *behind* his age are, social skills (hence no grade passing for him) and drawing skills. Yeah, drawing skills are needed to learn how to write. The fact that he *knows* how to write already doesn't count.
So my son is *not balanced* and the system just cannot address this, unless he's got a learning disability, or a gifted label.
Since then, I've learned and experienced so much of the good sides of homeschooling, that I'm thrilled he's not in school. The last few days here have been gorgeous and we spent all afternoons at the park, "having fun". We were actually playing out some of his history lessons (well pre-history). Making bows and arrows, looking for flint, trying to make fire, etc...

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 1:45pm
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]no, I dont believe I have. Which thread is it in? [/b]
I posted in another thread:
"Excerpt from my letter of reply (one of many) to the superintendent of my son's prior school last year to school district regarding my son and a 504 plan for PA/NUTS (please note text in bold):
.............."You indicate, in your response,

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:01pm
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Whos decision was it to remove pb &j? It was not my intent to go totally peanut free, but may become a priority.
I posted in the media thread an article about a school that totally banned pb, even may contains from the whole school. Interesting article.

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:29pm
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Whos decision was it to remove pb &j? It was not my intent to go totally peanut free, but may become a priority.
[/b]
By no means did I state the school went [i]totally peanut free[/i] (is this possible)??? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
I just relayed that when we requested an accommodation related to a [b]federal law[/b], an accommodation was made related to a program that just happened to be one referred to as the [b]Federal Brown Bag Lunch Program[/b].
It was a singular accommodation in nature: Removing the PB sand-witch from the program I referred to, not a reference to "banning" PB&J from children's lunches from home or anywhere else, for that matter. That did not occur.

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:39pm
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Mommabear Thank you for sharing.
As I read quote(You cannot expect us to go on word alone)same problem I had.
Lack of communication. Here too
IHP, EHP, and any other plans our school had
developed I never saw.
Lack of trust in the staff.
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:42pm
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Mommabear, I understand that was the only accomodation, but in my case thats one of the only big ones left. Just wondering who made that decision.
I dont think its ever possible to be totally peanut free, the residue will always be there. However, if they cant bring it in for snacks, the school isnt serving it, and even if you ask them not to send it in and dont check, it minimizes the danger greatly.
In my case, if they stopped serving it, today there would be 52 less kids eating pb in school. I have to think that would make a huge difference. Just think 104 hands spreading residue. Thats more than enough to make me nervous.

Posted on: Wed, 09/10/2003 - 11:59pm
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Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b] Just wondering who made that decision.[/b]
After our request for accomodation related specifically to this item, [i]The school district at the recommendation of their legal counsel,[/i] I believe, but I could be wrong. Could be, but it is not usually my experience.
Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b] However, if they cant bring it in for snacks, the school isnt serving it, and even if you ask them not to send it in and dont check, it minimizes the danger greatly.[/b]
"can't" or request that they not? How would one enforce "can't", as the idea of "can't" was debated heatededly at times during our 504 meetings.
Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]
In my case, if they stopped serving it, today there would be 52 less kids eating pb in school. I have to think that would make a huge difference. Just think 104 hands spreading residue. Thats more than enough to make me nervous. [/b]
Yes, in our case, this accomodation [i]reached beyond the classroom[/i]. I was nervous as well. Imagine a bear on a hot tin roof. Room full of rocking chairs, you decide. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 09/11/2003 - 2:55am
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Originally posted by momma2boys:
However, if they cant bring it in for snacks, the school isnt serving it, and even if you ask them not to send it in and dont check, it minimizes the danger greatly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"can't" or request that they not? How would one enforce "can't", as the idea of "can't" was debated heatededly at times during our 504 meetings
Mommabear, the answer for us , is CANT. When a snack is brought in the teacher and the aide check the ingredients and then the nurse checks as well. If it has peanuts,nuts or may contain,it is sent home. The first week of school a child brought in a may contain item for a birthday treat and they called the mom and sent it home.
Of course I felt horrible, I dont care if they have may contains. The treats have to be prepackaged with an ingredient label.
I brought the whole class hostess cupcakes the next day for his birthday, I felt so bad. The mom really did think she did the right thing.

Posted on: Thu, 09/11/2003 - 2:58am
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I almost forgot, went and ate lunch outside with ds and then I went in the cafeteria to see my other ds. Now my pa son has a seperate desk that they put at the end of his classes table.
Supposed to be cleaned and put right away. WEll what do I see while visiting my son, all the kids lining up alongside his desk, sitting on it , touching it, rubbing along it (after they just had pb for lunch!) I thought my heart was going to stop. I waited and waited to see if they moved it and cleaned it , but no. So we will be having a little chat today after school.

Posted on: Wed, 11/05/2003 - 2:58am
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reraising for gizmo.

Posted on: Wed, 10/06/2004 - 9:56pm
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[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/001477.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/001477.html[/url]
linking a partial followup. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 05/18/2006 - 10:53pm
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]
I posted in another thread:
"Excerpt from my letter of reply (one of many) to the superintendent of my son's prior school last year to school district regarding my son and a 504 plan for PA/NUTS (please note text in bold):
.............."You indicate, in your response,

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