\"Oh, he\'s the peanut kid\"

Posted on: Tue, 07/18/2000 - 2:37am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

We live in a very small town and my son is the only PA child in his school. Over the past week, I have run into a couple of parents of children that my son actually was in class with. I'm not clear why, perhaps because his MedicAlert bracelet is so obvious now with warmer weather, but both times, they have said "Oh, he's the peanut kid". Both of them said it very good naturedly, but I felt kind of weird. I guess they needed to know
who the child was in the school. The woman I met yesterday in the doctor's office who said this is the mother of a little girl that my son considers a friend of his at school. She went on to tell me that her daughter does like peanut butter but she has no problems not having it at lunch (and this is before knowing that it is her friend Jesse is the PA kid, or maybe she did know, but the Mom didn't). Anyway, I just find it kinda different because it's just started to happen. Maybe it's also because we've sent out thank-you notes and had a thank-you notice put in the local newspaper and people had forgotten about it from the beginning of the school year so they've been on the look-out for the "peanut kid". Anyway, two of them have found him and both experiences were very pleasant in how they were with me, so I'm hoping this is positive. Or, let paranoia creep in for a minute and think, are they being pleasant with me because they've discovered who the "peanut kid" is and then they have different discussions when I'm not around. Anyway, that is not something I can control, but they have been very pleasant with me. I just find it weird. If I was still living in Toronto I don't think this would happen, would it?


Posted on: Tue, 07/18/2000 - 4:24pm
rilira's picture
Joined: 11/11/1999 - 09:00

My daughter has also been referred to as the "nut girl". I think people don't mean any harm by it but it makes me angry. What I have started doing is saying this: No she is not the nut girl.Her name is Rachel and she has an allergy to peanuts/nuts. People pretty much catch the clue.

Posted on: Wed, 07/19/2000 - 1:45am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Rilira, that is great advice, thank-you. I will use it the next time someone calls him that, which I suspect will be soon. It's odd, but I don't think Jesse has really noticed this reference or maybe he has and simply hasn't said anything. What about your daughter?

Posted on: Fri, 07/28/2000 - 12:34am
Claire's picture
Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Hi I just read about the peanut kid. I know that it is probably the most frustrating thing to hear. My son is allergic and there is a boy allergic in my daughters class. This childs mother when she sees me in public with Christopher always wants to talk about it. Now mind you he is 14 and would like to get off the subject. It is almost as if she thrives on the fact that he is allergic to nuts. She always says oh heres your peanut son. No he is just my son. I have requested that my daughter be able to be seperated from this boy in school just because my daughter always has to hear about it. My daughter is not allergic but does realize that her brother could die. I just feel that this women should leave the kids alone. She actually goes in and goes through the kids lunches to check for peanut butter. But yet she sends her other children with peanut butter sandwiches. I think she should allow the teachers to help out a little. My son and I now go the other way when we see her coming. He says does she always have to remind me I could die from this. I think We know mom. Good luck to all of you. Claire

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2000 - 2:51am
Charlynne's picture
Joined: 07/31/2000 - 09:00

I can relate to where you all are coming from.
In our town of South Bend Indiana, our daughter was on the front page of the newspaper a week after her anaphalactic reaction (this was in feb of this year) still to this day when we go to the mall or the grocery store, we get the looks and the questions "isnt she the peanut butter baby?" I say yes "and the jokinlgy say she is such a peanut" the first few times I would jsut nicely walk away, now i say "actually, no she isnt a peanut, if she were she would be a dead peanut, she is a 19 month old happy and vibrant little girl, whose name happens to be Theresa, not PEANUT" Some people say well we didnt mean to offend you, I tell them but "you did" and some just shrug it off in a huff and walk away telling whomever they are with, THATS THE PEANUT BUTTER BABY
I am not one to keep my cool Thank God my Mother and Hubby are. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Just thought i would put in my two cents worth
Take care all
and stay safe

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2000 - 6:40am
DavisGal's picture
Joined: 07/12/1999 - 09:00

I actually don't mind when someone refers to my son as the peanut kid. Last year the school letter went out without revealing his name. At school functions people would find out that it's my son with the allergy and they'd say "oh, he's the one". I'd tell them yup and then take the opportunity to explain more about the allergy or answer any questions they had. This year at the new school, the secretary told my son that whenever he needed anything to tell her he's the "peanut boy" and then she'd know right away who he is. I thought it was a great idea. I don't feel like my son is defined by his allergy... he is totally a whole person. I do feel that if people see my son and recongnize him as the kid with the peanut allergy... that can only help protect him. Just my two cents. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2000 - 1:26pm
Claire's picture
Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Davisgal,please do not think that I don't want people to know about my sons allergy.I am the one who has gone to school and made sure that it is strictly avoided in the class room and anywhere he is. I think that what upset me is this woman is telling all over that my sons allergy is not severe and her childs is. Maybe I have more issues with this woman than the fact that she calls him the peanut son. You are right it is great that everyone relates his allegy to him when he walks in school. I just wish she would go about it in a different way. I realize this allergy is something that we all are in together,but if you talked with this woman it becomes a "who has reaction worse rather than oh that is to bad". You do have good points and i do agree. Thank and you have a good day. Claire

Posted on: Thu, 08/31/2000 - 11:00am
BENSMOM's picture
Joined: 05/20/2000 - 09:00

Hey, I was just wondering what happened to Cindy. She started this thread and used to be very active on these boards. There is no email address listed for her. Cindy, are you out there?? Where have you gone?

Posted on: Thu, 08/31/2000 - 10:04pm
mkruby's picture
Joined: 05/01/2000 - 09:00

Bensmom, She will be gone from here for awhile due to personal reasons. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 08/31/2000 - 11:55pm
DMB's picture
Joined: 02/22/2001 - 09:00

This is one aspect of my son's peanut allergy that I actually like! I had the meeting with his preschool last Tues. It went very well. Thurs was the open house for the preschool and all the kids got to go into their classrooms and meet the teachers. When we walked through the door, both teachers and the director came over right away and said, "Oh, this must be Evan!" Out of 180 kids in the entire preschool, they knew my son's name before they had even met him. I don't have a problem with him being "labeled" as long as it keeps him safe. And at least it means that people remember and are aware of his allergy. But I can also see how it coming from the wrong person could become quite annoying!

Posted on: Fri, 09/08/2000 - 1:26pm
ElizabethsMom's picture
Joined: 04/17/1999 - 09:00

Yep - our kids are definitely labeled. I find some comfort that folks at least remember the issue and can tag it to my child. I like to respond with a big smile, a laugh and say "No, no, no, she's the PEANUT-FREE child! But we call her Lizzie because it's shorter..." Everyone laughs and gets the point. It usually sparks a conversation and I try to say things like "we're so lucky to have such supportive friends...thanks for remembering...it means a lot....boy do we miss Reese's at our house..." I think it's important for people to feel like we're on their side and not always suspicious (we'll keep the suspicion our little secret...) A lot of humor and a little flattery-when-deserved goes a long way in this uphill battle we fight!



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