Not getting invited to parties because of PA

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 5:56am
larakate's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2002 - 09:00

I'm a Canadian living in France and don't post very often although I do browse from time to time.

My daughter, Lara, is 4 years old and has been PA since she was 18 months old. We moved from Switzerland to France last year and Lara started pre-school at the local French school. Lara is anglophone but has learned to speak French over the last school year. She has made a few little friends too. The kid in particular is Pierre.

About 1 week before school let out for the summer I noticed that Pierre's Mom was handing out envelopes to some of the other parents. I overheard one of the Moms reading the invitation to her daughter. It seemed everyone had an envelope except my kid! I quickly left the school and fought back the tears till I got to the car. Then I sobbed for about 3 hours. I finally came to the 3 conclusions with the help of my more rational husband!

1. With 29 kids in the class not every kid was invited.
2. Lara is English speaking so the parents may not have wanted to deal with the language barrier.
3. Lara is PA and the parents may not have wanted to deal with the food issue.

Number 3 gets me really angry. I don't want her to be discriminated against for this. We decided that next year we will have to host some parties to get to know the other kids and parents as they don't seem to want to get to know the foreigners.

Have any of you had to deal with your children being left out of the party scene? Should I be worrying if she's only 4 years old?

Suggestions and comments would be most appreciated.

Thanks,

Kelly in France

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 6:00am
CorinneM1's picture
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Joined: 06/20/2002 - 09:00

If I had to guess, I would go with number 1. I certainly would not invite 29 kids to my house.
Try to focus your attentions on aiding Lara to strenghten the bonds that she has with her classmates that she is closest to and disregard the potential reasons that Lara was not invited to this party.

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 6:03am
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My son is now 8-1/2. I still believe PA plays a great factor into him not being invited to birthday parties and play-dates.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 6:10am
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Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 6:11am
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Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 7:48am
Chicago's picture
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Joined: 04/21/2001 - 09:00

I guess that any, some or all of your 3 reasons could be the cause of your dd not getting an invite. But I don't think you have enough info to "blame" it all on PA...
I love your idea of hosting parties when school resumes. DD had two new girls (twins) in her school last year that had a fabulous Fall Festival party inviting all of the girls in their classrooms over for crafts, treats, games etc... The invite made it clear that it was not a b-day party and it said no gifts - "to get to know our new classmates better". I thought it was very classy and the kids had a great time.
Good luck!

Posted on: Thu, 07/22/2004 - 9:58am
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Joined: 07/27/2003 - 09:00

.
[This message has been edited by deegann (edited August 26, 2004).]

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 7:36pm
larakate's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2002 - 09:00

Thanks for your responses everyone. I'll have to make a concerted effort next year to meet the kids and parents. I want them to know that Lara is a normal kid but just has to be careful about what she eats.
We all want our children to be accepted in society so I guess I felt sad that she was already being left out.
She didn't even realize that she wasn't invited to the party.
Thanks again,
Kelly

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