not getting expected support

Posted on: Fri, 08/24/2007 - 11:19pm
mom135's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2007 - 09:00

We have lots of PA kids in my school system. Sometimes when I talk to the other PA parents, I feel like they think I am overreacting on most issues of classroom safety. Has anyone had the experience with not agreeing with other PA parents on how the schools should handle this?

[This message has been edited by mom135 (edited August 25, 2007).]

Posted on: Sat, 08/25/2007 - 11:31pm
Mrsdocrse's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

Hi There,
Sorry that you are not getting the support you need.
I have run across this... However I am in the middle of the spectrum, I think. everyone has a comfort zone and I have to say that mine fluctuates as my son gets older and we get into different situations. There was a boy on my sons baseball team who is PA. His mom lets him eat " may conatins" things.... I DO NOT. She thinks I am extreme.
I Do NOT have "may contains things in my house". The school that my son goes too is "peanut free" The cafe does ot serve peanuts or peanut products. The kids cannot bring peanut butter or things that contain peanut products to the cafe. The kids were not allowed to bring in "may conatins" into the class room for snack. how ever, if there was a birthday they have brought in cup cakes from home. ( Michael was not allowed to eat it) The nurse kept a "safe cupcake" inthe freezer for him. I am ok with that. Another mother of a PA child thought I was crazy for allowing this and thought I should demand that they couldn't do that. IF he was a toddler I would proabably agree. because small children often share food with out asking ect.. but my DS knows that he cannot eat food that I haven't given him so I don't think that he would accept a bite food from someone else. We do not live in a peanut free world and he has to learn to survive in it. When he gets out of grammar school there is only a Peanut free table.
You have to do what is best for you... always.. I find that a calm discussion and compromise rather than a demanding approach works better for me. I am very greatful for the schools participation some schools do not go nearly as far as mine has to accomodate us and others with PA.
Therese
[This message has been edited by Mrsdocrse (edited August 26, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 08/26/2007 - 3:53am
mom135's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2007 - 09:00

Thanks for your reply. I really like your school. They do what makes sense to me, and so do you. I see that you are in MA. It doesn't surprise me because your state already has state guidelines from the DOE. I'm in NJ, they are in the process. In the meantime, the schools can do whatever they think they can get away with, I guess. I do find it interesting, though, how everyone has their own comfort zone.

Posted on: Sun, 08/26/2007 - 11:58am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Hi, and welcome to the forum.
If you haven't already looked, I would recommend you check out the schools forum. You will find that a lot of people have had to deal with similar situations.
Even on this forum, you will find people all deal with pa differently. We all have different experiences, different reactions, different amounts of protein that causes a reaction. So, it makes sense that we would all have different comfort zones.
You actually *sound* pretty calm in your post. Have you been dealing with pa for awhile, or is it a new thing for you?

Posted on: Sun, 08/26/2007 - 10:56pm
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

Hi, I am also in NJ. We also do not have any pb, tree nuts or may contains in our home.
There are 4 other kids in my son's grade with food allergies. The moms are quite frankly, very lax. Since kindergarten, I have given them info to help educate them. I guess that I try and remove myself from their practices and follow my own without worrying what they think. Sometimes, they just don't know the risks they might be taking by having may contains etc.
I have not looked to them for help in classroom, but when I've gotten things implemented they do thank me. So far, noone has thought I am overboard which I am grateful for.
The one thing I realized last year is that sometimes the school doesn't realize that not all allergy moms are created equally. For example, my son is considered by school and moms to be "highly allergic" whatever that means. Fine with me. Anyway, there was an ice cream treat that I approved with my good friend who was providing it and sent a letter allowing it. The teacher didn't have notes from 2 of the other kids,but allowed them since I had cleared it for my son.
I made it clear that if the reverse were to happen, that other allergy parents consent does not mean consent for my child. Ironically, none of the other allergy moms cared that consent for my son equaled consent for their child.?
The new policies for "managing children with allergies" should be coming from state of NJ soon.
I can email you a recent update if you'd like.
Additionally, I've been told that the State Wellness Policies will pretty much put the kabosh on the treats and limit snack choices.
Email me off line if you like, maybe we're close to each other!

Posted on: Mon, 08/27/2007 - 6:11am
Greenlady's picture
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Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

I actually find the other PA families to be my biggest problem. There are a couple who are lax by almost anyone's standard. One mom was saying that she didn't bother to renew her daughter's epipen prescription because she was now old enough to know better than to eat peanuts. (!)
I consider myself "moderate" on the spectrum, but compared to these families I'm going way overboard.

Posted on: Mon, 08/27/2007 - 10:21am
Mrsdocrse's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Greenlady:
[b]I actually find the other PA families to be my biggest problem. There are a couple who are lax by almost anyone's standard. One mom was saying that she didn't bother to renew her daughter's epipen prescription because she was now old enough to know better than to eat peanuts. (!)
I consider myself "moderate" on the spectrum, but compared to these families I'm going way overboard.
[/b]
Yikes.. No epi pen? wow! although I have a grown up nephew ( 25) that has had a peanut allergy all his life... he doesn't carry an epi either....

Posted on: Fri, 09/14/2007 - 1:12pm
jenelle's picture
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Joined: 09/04/2007 - 09:00

I was glad to read your post. I am in MA as well. My son is not in school yet, but I have an older child who is in school and I can see I have a much more strict view of what is OK for my PA child than other PA moms in town. How I wish the elementary school were peanut-free. I really feel itis necessary especially for the younger grades. Many of them can barely managed to leave the cafeteria without lunch on them! I wonder how that would affect my son...
It is so good, and so comforting to read everyone's posts.
Quote:Originally posted by Mrsdocrse:
[b]Hi There,
Sorry that you are not getting the support you need.
I have run across this... However I am in the middle of the spectrum, I think. everyone has a comfort zone and I have to say that mine fluctuates as my son gets older and we get into different situations. There was a boy on my sons baseball team who is PA. His mom lets him eat " may conatins" things.... I DO NOT. She thinks I am extreme.
I Do NOT have "may contains things in my house". The school that my son goes too is "peanut free" The cafe does ot serve peanuts or peanut products. The kids cannot bring peanut butter or things that contain peanut products to the cafe. The kids were not allowed to bring in "may conatins" into the class room for snack. how ever, if there was a birthday they have brought in cup cakes from home. ( Michael was not allowed to eat it) The nurse kept a "safe cupcake" inthe freezer for him. I am ok with that. Another mother of a PA child thought I was crazy for allowing this and thought I should demand that they couldn't do that. IF he was a toddler I would proabably agree. because small children often share food with out asking ect.. but my DS knows that he cannot eat food that I haven't given him so I don't think that he would accept a bite food from someone else. We do not live in a peanut free world and he has to learn to survive in it. When he gets out of grammar school there is only a Peanut free table.
You have to do what is best for you... always.. I find that a calm discussion and compromise rather than a demanding approach works better for me. I am very greatful for the schools participation some schools do not go nearly as far as mine has to accomodate us and others with PA.
Therese
[This message has been edited by Mrsdocrse (edited August 26, 2007).][/b]

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