New to This--Need Support

Posted on: Wed, 01/31/2007 - 9:05am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

We've been dealing with this since Nov 06. I'm trying not to drive myself or family crazy, but I feel like others just don't get it. I am thinking about the precautions we'll need to take when Calista goes to school (she just turned 1) and I'm so stressed about it. I'm considering homeschooling. My husband teases that I would put her in a bubble...

I can't send her to the church nursery. I worry constantly. Will I get better at managing this? Do you always find yourself educating strangers?? Does it still frustrate you that when you question ingredients, the response is "I'm sure its ok."

Thanks for letting me vent. Seems like no one here quite gets it...not even my husband.

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Mom to 2 Beautiful Girls
Taylor 5 - no allergies
Calista 1 - Peanut Allergy

Posted on: Wed, 01/31/2007 - 9:26am
Momcat's picture
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Joined: 03/15/2005 - 09:00

Yes, it will get easier and you will be able to send her to school (if you want to) with some planning ahead. I remember feeling the same way when DD was 2. I couldn't imaging how I would ever be able to send her to school, etc. She is now 7 and going to 2nd grade and has a 504 plan for her peanut/nut allergies.
About people getting it--your husband will eventually get it, but most people you run into will not. I have stopped asking people if something has peanuts or nuts in it. They really have no idea how careful you have to be. I just ask to see the ingredient label. If they don't have the ingredient label, we don't eat it. If people pressure you, explain that you are teaching your daughter how find out if a food is safe. You need a simple rule (read the ingredients) and you need to be consistent. Even a toddler will quickly catch onto the routine. My son used to ask "does it have 'gredients?" when someone offered him food.
Cathy
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Mom to 7 yr old PA/TNA daughter and 4 yr old son who is allergic to eggs.

Posted on: Wed, 01/31/2007 - 11:28am
doofusclo's picture
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Joined: 12/03/2006 - 09:00

It is tough at first. I think you have to just string the days together are start realizing you can do it.
It will get easier. Have you met anybody else in your area that has food allergies? It really helped when I met a minister who has a son with peanut, egg, and milk allergies. Her son was nine at the time. My daughter (peanut, milk, eggs and rice) was fifteen months. Meeting her gave me the hope that I could get my daughter to that age. That was before I found this site also. Maybe you can find someone here you can relate too that has raised a healthy happy child that gives you hope or there are a few adults here that have deal with food allergies in tougher times then these.
Have hope there is always the hope your child will outgrow food allergies. Plus, I really think the research will pay out in a few years.
Cindy

Posted on: Sun, 02/04/2007 - 8:22am
leers's picture
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Joined: 07/09/2001 - 09:00

Yes, it does get easier. I remember when we first found out. I was a mess. Over time you become more and more educated and PA just becomes a part of your life and everthing becomes old hat. You will get a plan in place ready for school, extra-curricular activities, you will be prepared for birthday parties etc.
YOU WILL FIND YOUR COMFORT ZONE!!!!
Once that happens everything will fall into place.
Right now you are finding that comfort zone, letting family and friends know and educating them too.
You will find the little bumps on the road because people don't get it. I still have that, my own mother (read my latest rant). You will also have your little victories too.
Take everything day by day.
Good luck and God Bless
Pam

Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2007 - 3:03am
bethc's picture
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Joined: 04/18/2005 - 09:00

It is so stressful at first. It will get easier, but most people you deal with will not really get it. Your husband almost certainly will with time, and there's a good chance your family will -- although that varies! Keep calmly educating the people you deal with regularly. I imagine my relatives think I'm obsessed, but they have learned about the allergy as I've explained things that come up.
I would not send her to the church nursery unless you have a reason to feel very confident about that. If you were to talk to the people who work there and they seem to really understand that this is life-threatening and can be set off by traces of peanut, if they don't feed the kids and other little ones don't come in with their own food, and if they're comfortable with you training them on the Epipen and the list of symptoms to watch out for, then sure. But that's rather unlikely.
I'd keep her close while she's too little to understand and to control herself about putting things in her mouth. But by the time she goes to school, you'll probably be just fine sending her. You'll have years of practice handling this, and you'll be able to come up with a plan with the school.
Be very careful about feeding your DD things that other people provide; like you say, they don't understand why it might not be fine. The rule that our Dr. gave us is this: never eat a food without reading the label. So we really do stick to that, with the only exceptions being food made by a few relatives who've learned a lot about PA over the years, who I still question about the ingredients to make sure they checked the labels and in case they used a product that doesn't have a warning label but I don't trust. At first I had them save all their packages for me to read, and often they still do so that someone who's used to reading labels for PA has looked it over.

Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2007 - 4:52am
Ree's picture
Ree
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Joined: 12/31/2004 - 09:00

I was the same way. Everyone looked like a peanut to me! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] I can smell it a mile away. It took me about 6 mos to a year to stop panicking. That was with my 1st. When my 2nd came along with more allergies, I didn't realize how good I had it. Now I'm on my 3rd w/ no known allergies. My boys are 5, 3 & 11mos...this was by far the easiest holiday season ever. I've commented to many that this has gotten 100% easier. I promise you will not feel like this forever. People won't ever get it, but they'll hopefully come to understand your situation. Stand your ground at the beginning, educate everyone you know, and find out who you can vent to...don't waste your breath on anyone that'll make you fell like you're neurotic. I made that mistake and it was a rollercoaster ride of emotion for me!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but I think it's a mom's way of protecting her child. You can do this! Oh, and don't think past a year from now. It doesn't do you any good, just more anxiety,

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