New here

Hello all. My name is Colleen and I have 22month old triplets and a 6 year old dd. Five nights ago I rushed my dd to the ER after she broke out in hives/swelling all over her face after having a pb cracker on her highchair. I'm not sure she ate any--I think it was more of a contact reaction. Her airway luckily never was affected and we are now adjusting to the fact that she has a peanut allergy and what this will mean to us.
For the first 48-72 hrs I was still reacting to the scare we had that night and
the fact that the ER chastised me for not calling 911. (I am still not sure that I would react differently--I called the ER on my way in to explain the situation and I think I got there as quickly as they would have although I agree that I don't have the airway equipment if she had needed it).
Anyway, I am now starting to realize what this is going to mean for us and need some information from all you verterans please.
Besides the word peanut or peanut oil in the ingredients what should I be looking for at this point? I have been giving her crackers and cereal etc and she has not had any problems. What brands of common foods are safe and what aren't? Is there a running thread of info from when someone calls a company and finds out a) safe or b) unsafe. A neigbor is having a birthday party at a gymboree in 2 weeks and I woke up the other morning with my first thought being--I'll have to call the mom and see if she is bringing the cake or if gymboree supplies it and whether it is safe. Can anyone tell me why baked products are generally considered unsafe for PA individuals?
I have many questions but this is already long. Any help you can give would be most appreciated.
Thanks,
Colleen (BTW, I have 4 epi-pens available and an appt for all 3 babies with the allergist but it's not until end of March--for food allergies is the allergy testing generally by blood test or skin test?)