New, Angry, Scared, Overwhelmed

Posted on: Wed, 09/17/2003 - 1:15pm
Lori Jo's picture
Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

My 13 mo DD was just recently diagnosed with PA after breaking out in hives all over her body after getting just a small smear on one hand. The peds recommended an epipen and that was all (along with avoidance). After doing some research, and reading alot of posts here, I'm terrified. I swing between "We can do this, it's just being prepared/watchful" to "OMG, how can I ever protect her?" I'm angry and sad that so many things I had assumed she would do are now frought with danger, and upset that feeding my family just became a HUGE effort that requires more vigilance than homeland security. Guilt that I ate a TON of nuts and PB while pregnant and nursing. (They are my all time favorite food.) This is irrational I know, but still there. My twins, now 4, have no allergies, and I followed a pretty similar diet with them. Anyways, I suppose I'm venting and looking for support. Thanks for listening.

BTW, I pressed the peds into giving me a referral to a peds allergist so we can investigate this further.

Posted on: Fri, 09/19/2003 - 7:53am
Chicago's picture
Joined: 04/21/2001 - 09:00

Welcome. We all understand. My dd (now almost 9) is PA and TNA and diagnosed about the same age as your dd.
After we learned about it, I cried about the fact (among other things)that she would have to carry an Epi in her purse to prom. DH thought I was crazy - but those are the kind of things that in the beginning you are just trying to think thru so this does not ruin their life by making them unable to do things.
Just read and learn and know that you all will find a comfort zone that is right for you.

Posted on: Sat, 09/20/2003 - 11:11am
pjama0502's picture
Joined: 08/04/2003 - 09:00

Hi there,
My son who is now 16.5 months old had a a reaction to pb about a month and a half ago and boy do I know how you feel. I cried for days. And I must say when I first started accessing this site, I found it great but overwhelming. I would suggest starting with the basics (avoiding products with nuts and possible trace amounts of nuts and then go from there). It DOES become more manageable!
I also keep reminding myself that my son is a very healthy child who just happens to have an allergy we have to be careful about. Unfortunately, many parents have children who are not healthy (I write this not to minimize your pain/concern, but because it helps me remember how fortunate we are).
BTW - Since learning of the allergy I have met with about 5 sets of parents who have children with pa. I have found this comforting.
Finally, please don't feel guilty. We all work on the best information we have at the time.

Posted on: Mon, 09/22/2003 - 11:34am
Danielle's picture
Joined: 04/08/2003 - 09:00

Hi Lori Jo -
We recently hit the 6 month mark and I can really say that I am just now feeling a bit more in "control". I no longer have anxiety attacks and have found my very strict comfort zone. This past weekend I actually let my PA 2 1/2 year old DD have a burger from McDonalds. I secretly cried because it was such a big step and I could hear her saying "HOw Delicious"!!!!! This was her first bite of food made by someone else since rushing her to the hospital. Granted, I called the corporate office 2 times and grilled them about everything and spoke to the McDonalds manager and went over their on line allergy information...... What I am saying is that it does get better but honestly very slowly. We take 1 day at a time. I have a very very strict comfort zone and I know in my heart this is the only way I can get through it. I know a few other moms with PA kids who have very very lax comfort zones and I just can't deal with that. I am not judging but know I have to be extremly strict for my well being as well as for my DD. When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade and that is just what we are doing. You will make it!!!!!!! Take a deep breath everyday and plow ahead!!!!

Posted on: Wed, 09/24/2003 - 12:28pm
Lori Jo's picture
Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

Thanks everyone for responding. I think I need to get my dh on here. He is in an anti-nut full court press. He quizes anyone that wants to hold our baby about their recent use of nuts. I would say his comfort level is going to be very strict. I laugh, but I think that makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one responsible for her safety. I'm just biding time now, de-nutting my pantry and waiting to see the allergist. I'll just take one day at at time.
Jen, I do feel thankful that this is not something more immediately life threatening. I'm a doctor and have seen very sick and dying children. In that perspective I am blessed if this is the worst we have to deal with.
Lori Jo,
Rose, 7-31-02, PA
Beatrice & Georgia, 8-14-99

Posted on: Wed, 09/24/2003 - 1:05pm
ajinnj's picture
Joined: 05/13/2003 - 09:00

Lori Jo what type of doctor are you?

Posted on: Thu, 09/25/2003 - 1:25am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Welcome Lori Jo,
The emotional roller coaster is something we can certainly all relate to! It's perfectly normal, and when you need to vent by all means come here.
It's wonderful that your DH got on board immediately. That will be a big help.
My son is 9 and we found out about this when he was about 15 months old. He is both contact and airborne sensitive, but it hasn't stopped him from doing anything.
Best of luck,

Posted on: Thu, 09/25/2003 - 1:23pm
Lori Jo's picture
Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

Allison, I am an ophthalmologist.
Dh has the kids at his sister's house this week, so I went thru the kitchen and de-nutted it. I had a small ceremony for my beloved peanut butter and finished the last bit in the jar. I am sad to see it go. Funny how perspectives change though. I had a bag of peanuts at the airport this past weekend and felt like I was breaking some law, or at least being immoral. I kept thinking of some poor PA kid finding a stray nut I didn't know I'd dropped. My sister thought I was crazy.
Lori Jo,
Rose, 7-31-02, PA
Beatrice & Georgia, 8-14-99

Posted on: Thu, 09/25/2003 - 2:00pm
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Lori Jo:
[b]I had a bag of peanuts at the airport this past weekend and felt like I was breaking some law, or at least being immoral. I kept thinking of some poor PA kid finding a stray nut I didn't know I'd dropped. My sister thought I was crazy.
I kind of went through the same thing with alcohol several years back. Saw so many persons with health problems related to alcohol, injuries related to alcohol, and deaths related to alcohol, that I became completely averse to injesting alcohol. Will admit to indulging on occasion. Still can't stand the thought of smoking. I know, doesn't make sense, but maybe it's just me.

Posted on: Thu, 09/25/2003 - 8:11pm
Nick's picture
Joined: 11/01/2000 - 09:00

But, "MB", the old Merlot still calls to be ingested from time to time, doesn't it? [img][/img]
Well, it still calls me, anyway!

Posted on: Thu, 09/25/2003 - 11:51pm
gerilynn's picture
Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

I can relate to everyone who is fearful of life for their children. My daughter was also 13 months old when we found out and luckily I had the instinct to calll 911 or we would have lost her that night. We are very careful, but the more I read and hear I realize that we are not even careful enough. She is 2 1/2 now and we just found out a few months ago that she also has Juvenille Arthritis, Although if I could trade one in I would definitely trade in the allergy. The "life-threatening" issue is what is the hardest to deal with. She is also allergic to tree nuts so life is even more difficult. Where do you all live. Anyone form WISCONSIN???


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