New and letter from selfish parent

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Hi there - I am new to the forum. I will post my story elsewhere - but short form, my kid is severely allergic to peanuts/nuts. 45.6 out of 50 on allergy test. I had some days of hell, but managed to make my kids school a nut/peanut free zone. you cant even bring it in the school. Ya, I'm proud of myself. However, I'm irate - because of this letter that was just printed in our newspaper. I've written a response already, but havent sent it in. I am just wondering if any of you have also written letters and what you put in them? I dont want to miss making an important point. I am sooo mad today that I could combust.

[url="http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_action=doc&p_docid=122FF878DFCF8630&p_docnum=6"]http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_action=doc&p_docid=122FF878DFCF8630&p_docnum=6[/url]

Peanut ban hurts too many, benefits too few BYKathryn Nedegaard September 4, 2008

GRAND FORK SAIR FORCE BASE

On Sep 8, 2008

Hmmmm...Sounds like that mom's children's only form of nutrition is from peanut butter. Maybe she should feed them better. Why else would this anger someone. A peanut free school could save a life. Sounds like she's a selfish inconsiderate unhappy person. Makes me almost self combust reading it, too. Sorry you have to deal with someone like that. Hopefully she is just a loud minority.

On Sep 8, 2008

She says she has a food allergy. I wonder what kind or if she even has one. Maybe she is one of those people who thinks she is "allergic" to sugar when it only makes her hyper, or thinks she is "allergic" to milk, when she is really only lactose intolerant. The dots don`t connect. If I had time I`d write a reply; maybe tomorrow. Do you have any idea how we go about replying? I tried clicking on the link, but it gave me an error message.

On Sep 9, 2008

I dont know where you are, but we just opened and ice cream store that is truly 100% peanut and nut free.

Alot of people have come and returned for ice cream cakes for their kids becuse we are safe and we prove it with all allergen reports.

The store is located in Brick, NJ and called Mr. Creamees's Ice Cream, located at 2060 route 88 east.

If you dont live nearby - please spread the word. Thanks

On Sep 9, 2008

You're not alone - many kids have peanut allergies and must be careful, I dont know where you are, but we just opened and ice cream store that is truly 100% peanut and nut free.

Alot of people have come and returned for ice cream cakes for their kids becuse we are safe and we prove it with all allergen reports.

The store is located in Brick, NJ and called Mr. Creamees's Ice Cream, located at 2060 route 88 east. 732 295-2963

If you dont live nearby - please spread the word. Thanks

On Sep 10, 2008

Thanks for the replies. After posting, I read through thousands of posts by many of you who are going through similar things. I found great ammunition there! I wrote one letter right away, but it was too reactionary and included some name calling! So, after sitting on it for a few days, this is my response (although still in draft form). I hope to submit this one tomorrow. My newspaper is the Grand Forks Herald ([url]http://www.granforksherald.com[/url]). If you take the opinion link on the left, you can submit your own letters over email. You may need to register to see the content - but its free and just requires an email. We are a small community. I can use all the support I can get!!

Here is my letter.

Peanut/Nut Allergy Bullying Should Not Be Accepted in Our Community Sandra Short.

By opposing peanut/nut bans in schools, Kathryn Nedegaard is engaging in allergy bullying. This backlash against restrictions on peanuts/nuts in schools is a new form of harassment, which, of course, is a crime. As defined by law, harassment includes words, gestures, and behaviors that are intended to adversely affect the safety of another person. Opinions like that of Kathryn Nedegaard

On Sep 11, 2008

Sandra,

I think the letter will be better received if you use "another writer" or "a parent" or some such instead of the woman's name. You don't want this to be a direct attack on HER, but on her ideas, which are shared by many people.

Ethel

On Sep 11, 2008

FANTASTIC LETTER!!! It is very well written.

On Sep 28, 2008

Dear Sandra,

I am the mother of a young diabetic, whom we have decided to control her disease with diet rather than give her insulin, she is 11 and we have been on her diet for 10 years. she was diagnosed at the age of 18 months. My child has been in our school district since her first day of school, i did not ask for any special treatment for her, I would provide everything she needed my self. We have a new student in our school who has a peanut allergy, which I can completely understand the plight of these parents, but the peanut free diet and my childs diet are not compatable. the high sugar and high carb products that we are only to send to the school will put my child in diabetic shock, We all have to learn to comprimise, yes I am willing to work out a peanut free program, with zones where there are no peanuts, or peanut products. But you have to face the truth, we cannot kill one child to save another, and that is what some of us are being asked to do! making our children understand that we as adults do not have to fight, but can work together in comprimise and in the writing of policies that are safe for all parties would be the better way to do things. Not only are we all working together to get what we need for our children, but we are teaching our children that communication is the key to thier survival in this world. Our school is having a school board meeting where we can all as adults come up with a satisfactory policy making everyones diet possible. Our children have a long road ahead yours with the nut tree allergies and mine with diabetis we as parents need to be thier heros and teach them how to survive in the future, if we teach them to fight they will fight, if we teach them to communicate, they will communicate, if we teach them compromise they will compromise.

On Sep 30, 2008

Your response to the very well written letter by Sandra prompts me to address some of the statements you make in your post.

First, you state "I can completely understand the plight of these parents, but the peanut free diet and my childs diet are not compatable." However, after reading your post, it is obvious you do not understand.

Second, you state "the high sugar and high carb products that we are only [sic] to send to the school will put my child in diabetic shock[.]" The American Dietetic Association (ADA) recommends controlling diabetes with a diet low in saturated fats. For your information, peanuts are high in saturated fats. Also, the ADA recommends a diet high in fiber and fruit, with the main sources of protein from beans, grains and vegtables. The peanut/nut free choices for your diabetic child's diet are plentiful. In fact, if you are having issues thinking of healthy peanut/nut free choices for your child's lunch, I highly recommend that you visit the ADA website or perhaps, based upon you lack of education regarding nutrition, hiring a registered nutritionist.

Finally, you state "[w]e all have to learn to comprimise [sic], yes I am willing to work out a peanut free program, with zones where there are no peanuts, or peanut products. But you have to face the truth, we cannot kill one child to save another, and that is what some of us are being asked to do!" With a few minutes on the ADA website I was able to locate nutritional information which would meet your child's nutritional needs and not violate the rights of a peanut/nut allergic child. Therefore, compromising with an uneducated bigoted parent of a diabetic child is not necessary for the parents of a peanut/nut allergic child.

On Oct 1, 2008

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On Oct 5, 2008

you do not understand what the problem is, we have a nuritisionist for my daughter. The school sent home a list of products that the children can bring to school, we are not to send any thing that is not on this list. everything on the list is high in sugar and carb which are detrimental to my childs health. If you would have read futher on diabetis, peanuts and peanut butter are 13 on the glycemic index, and when my daughters sugar drops to the point of seziure she needs a quick protien, to bring her back, she has to eat 6 times a day to keep her levels normal. I could care less about peanuts and peanut butter, my daughter does not have to have the peanuts and peanut butter at school, but the list does not include foods that she can eat during her snack times. I am not willing to jepordize my childs health. I want to work with the school the nutrisionist and the parents so that both of these children who are the same age in the same class can go to school and be healthy. If we can't have peanut free zones then we need to have a sugar free area, because if you read the lables on all of the sugar free products available they have the posibility of cross contamination which she is not allowed to bring to school. My daughter diabetis has been controlled with diet for 10 years, she has kidney problems and putting her on medications right now is not an option. Her kidneys are already starting to fail, medication would build up in her liver and kidneys and cause the kidneys to fail at a faster rate, according to her team of doctors and nutristionist. I am not being hateful about this issue I believe that both of these children are important and both of them have needs that need to be met in the school. I am requesting that my daughter be moved to the other 6th grade class, then I am requesting for the school nutrisionist work with both my daughters and the other childs nutrisionists to work out the list of foods. I am requesting a sugar free table where my daughter can sit with her possible cross contaminates where the other child won't have to set. Now does this bother me yes, because my daughter has been in the school for 7 years ever since the first day of kindergarten, and I have worked with the school, the teachers and the parents. I have never asked for any special treatment for my child, and now she is the one who will be alienated.

On Oct 5, 2008

Another small comment, you called me a bigoted parent of a child with diabetis, I did not come here for name calling or for fighting, I came here for suggestions from parents of children with peanut allergies to see what suggestions you would have on how we could all work together, because I will be honest I am ignorant to your plight, but I now understand that you as a group of parents have no room to educate others, you only have your child in mind.

On Oct 5, 2008

Wait. Aren't we missing something? Both children have special health care needs. However, the mere touch or airborne protein for a severely peanut allergic child can cause death. Yes, not regulating blood sugar can cause death...but something in the air doesn't. There are ways both groups can work together. Why not designate a certain person or place who can provide the child peanut products in an environment in which the peanut allergic child won't go? To me the issue is really- how can we keep both kids safe? If the child with diabetes' care team has said...yep...peanut is necessary...then how can you figure out a way to keep it away from the peanut allergic child? Putting the peanut allergic child in the proximity of peanut products or with cross contaminated items (desks, books, scissors, hands, etc.) can cause death.

My child is off the charts in terms of her CAP RAST, has had anaphylactic contact reactions and some respiratory irritability. I am terrified each and every day she goes to school. However, the most helpful parents I have found have been those whose children have health care needs- we watch out for each other.

On Oct 5, 2008

Your prior post demonstrates that you are not on this site for education. In fact your post, to which I am replying, demonstrates that you did not take my suggestions for acceptable foods or work with your child's nutritionist. You allege that "[t]he school sent home a list of products that the children can bring to school, we are not to send any thing that is not on this list." I would like you provide a link to a school website that contains the list or let me know what school your daughter attends and I will obtain and post the list. As I am sure most people on this site know, schools required to follow 504 plans send home lists of unacceptable products, not lists such as the one you allege your child's school sent home.

I did take the time to educate myself on the glycemic index and in response to your statement that "[i]f you would have read futher on diabetis, peanuts and peanut butter are 13 on the glycemic index, and when my daughters sugar drops to the point of seziure she needs a quick protien, to bring her back, she has to eat 6 times a day to keep her levels normal[,]" I would suggest the use of kidney or white beans, which are also 13 on the glycemic index.

If you would be bothered by your child being alienated, as stated in this post, I am sure you recognize your apparent lack of empathy for the the PA child in your daughter's grade you recommended alienating in your prior post.

Again, I don't believe either child needs to be alienated, which is why you need to work with a nutritionist prior to sliding down the slippery slope of alienating children.

On Oct 5, 2008

I believe you did join this site to begin an argument. Please read my prior posts. I gave you suggestions that you failed to consider before posting again.

On Oct 5, 2008

I will find another site, where communication is available.

On Oct 7, 2008

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On Oct 16, 2008

Awesome letter! good luck!

On Oct 28, 2008

I am new to this peanut allergy can someone please help by answering my questions.My son just started kindergarten this year there is a child in his class room with the allergy.The teacher thought she was doing write by keeping the children seperated at lunch time making sure they sanitize everything after and keeping an eye on this child so he does not have any peanut product. I dont know if I am being selfish but why should I have to check all my food that i send with my child when the parent of that child should be educating him.i was offered that my child good sit in the hallway if he wanted peanut butter sandwiches. i dont feel that this is very fair. you mean to tell me that this mother punishes her other 3 children.

On Oct 28, 2008

do you keep your daughter from eating peanut products

On Oct 28, 2008

Those of us who live with children (or adults) with peanut allergy do not feel like we're being "punished" when we must keep nuts of all kinds out of our homes. We love these family members and want to keep them safe.

Now, we know that you don't love this child who is in your son's class. How could you, you don't even know him! However, think of it like this: Those peanuts are like a loaded gun. Just one touch, one breath of the dust, has the potential to kill the child with peanut allergy. He does not have to EAT the peanuts to get sick or die. Just the TOUCH can seriously hurt him. Most people don't know that!

Of course his mother is teaching him not to eat nuts. Of course she tells him to wash his hands all the time. But she can't keep him from touching the surfaces in his classroom...and if your child has just eaten a peanut butter sandwich, a tiny bit got on his hand then transferred to the door where they all come and go, then the allergic child touches it, he can DIE from that.

THAT's why we ask you to do a kindness and have your child eat his peanuts at home, not in school.

EthelV Grandson...PN/TN

On Oct 29, 2008

One thing that really frightens me, as a parent of a peanut allergic child who will enter kindergarten in September 2009, is that young children tend to be messy eaters. Just yesterday, I saw a 2nd grader come out of school with food all around the edges of his mouth from lunch. They often get their lunches on themselves and on the tables. I am not exactly sure what would happen to my son if he was touched by a child with peanut butter on his hands or if he touched a toy that has been handled by a child with peanut butter on his hands. I have seen one severe reaction and I don't ever want that to happen again. It's horrifying.

I still remember life before we knew about my son's peanut allergy. I had no idea how dangerous just trace amounts of peanut could be. Unless you're familiar with peanut allergy or another food allergy, it can be difficult to understand.

On Dec 9, 2008

Just wanted to let you know that I went before the school board and discussed both children, I went in very educated and with alot of research, I was able to quite the angry mob that only cared about peanut butter. I did not put only my daughter and her diabetis on the spot, we have come to a compromise, we do not have Peanuts or Peanut Butter in our school, but we do have the possible and may contain and everyone in the school is happy, even the parents of the young man with a peanut allergy. You see I was not fighting for peanuts and peanut butter to be in our school. I was fighting for the may contain because of the factory having peanuts in it. There are very few sugar free products that do not have the possible cross contamination. that was what we were fighting for. And believe it or not the two children are friends. They don't eat together, and will never be able to date in later years of school. but for right now they are working together to get through junior high school. Kids are amazing.

There was something I did want to point out to you in your last post to me "kidney beans are a 13 on the gycemic index." thank you for that but I already knew that, but how often does your child have to carry around a can of beans and a can opener? That was a hateful comment. My child and all of the healthy children out there are just as important as any other child. I understand that you are willing to do any thing to protect your child and I commend you for that. But taking shots at parents who are trying to understand both sides of the argument, and compromise is wrong.

On Dec 11, 2008

Glad it worked out for you hilltophicks, as there have been parents on here with both PA and diabetes. But, coming back making comments like this.... [i]There was something I did want to point out to you in your last post to me "kidney beans are a 13 on the gycemic index." thank you for that but I already knew that, but how often does your child have to carry around a can of beans and a can opener? That was a hateful comment. My child and all of the healthy children out there are just as important as any other child. [/i] I have a nephew who eats rice and beans and carries it in a lunch container, so really don't need a can opener.

And no one said your child and the other "healthy" children aren't important. Let me ask you a question, can any of the "healthy children" die from CONTACT with peanut? My child has needed an Epinephrine shot just from coming in contact with it. Does anyone understand that aspect of living with life-threatening allergies?

I am glad that it worked out for your school. Diabetes is life-threatening, but ask yourself this, has anyone called you an overprotective, hysterical parent for keeping your child's diabetes under control??? The parents of severe, life-threatening food allergies get that response all the time and guess what all we are trying to do is keep our children alive, just like you.

On Dec 11, 2008

WELL SAID, pfmom2! My thoughts exactly!!

On Dec 22, 2008

Well that is just ignorant! A PA is airborne and a PA child can die from just breathing it in. Why are you here?

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