New (and feeling very guilty)

Posted on: Mon, 08/04/2003 - 2:34am
pjama0502's picture
Joined: 08/04/2003 - 09:00


My little guy is 15 months ago. I had not planned to give him PB until he was 3 years old, but last month he was exposed to PB at a picnic. He was totally fine with it and so two days ago my dh gave him a bit of his pb sandwich. Five minutes after eating it, my little guy got some bumps around his mouth, his face appeared a little blotchy and his eyes were itchy. The symptoms went away without any treatment after about half an hour.

We are phoning the ped on Tuesday (today is a civic holiday in Canada).

I feel SO guilty. I feel like if I had just kept him away from peanuts he could have avoided this allergy. I also (with the okay of my doctor) ate a bit of PB while pregnant and bf. There is no history of food allergies or asthma in my dh or my family, but we do have mild hayfever and my dh has some eczema. In the last two days I have found out that based on this, I should have have avoided all PB. I am overwhelmed with guilt, that I've condemed my little guy to this life threatening condition.

My only solace is that I have read about 20% of kids with mild reactions can out grow the allergy AND that a vaccine is being worked on (although it will be years until it is available).

Thanks for reading,


Posted on: Mon, 08/04/2003 - 4:54am
MeCash's picture
Joined: 04/18/2001 - 09:00

Welcome Jen. First of all, please don't beat yourself up. PA is very unpredictable and it's not your fault.
I've got 2 PA kids. As you will find on this board, there are some people who avoided all peanut products all through their pregnancies and their children still have PA and others like you and me who didn't avoid them or know to avoid them or even think to avoid them... it's absolutely NOT your fault.
It will get easier. Hang in there. Don't panic. Read as much as you can, and ask any questions you want. We're here to help, if we can, and I know this board has helped us.

Posted on: Mon, 08/04/2003 - 11:55pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I'd like to add a bit to Melanie's post. I developed pa as an adult. During my first two pregnancies I ate peanuts and pb all the time. Neither of those kids has pa (they are 20 and 17).
Although there are suggestions of what to do when you're pregnant to help avoid your child developing pa it's not a 100% guarantee - and until you are dealing with pa nobody tells you this stuff.
You have nothing to feel guilty about - and now you are taking care of ds.
Be proud of yourself and have a guilt free day.

Posted on: Tue, 08/05/2003 - 12:51am
Peg541's picture
Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Melanie and AnnaMarie are correct. Guilt is a waste of your time. I ate PB all through my pregnancy with both children. DD is not allergic but I have a feeling might be some day and DS is highly allergic.
DS is 18, ready to go off to college in less than three weeks. We spent our lives getting educated and in turn educating him how to live safely with his PA.
His life is wonderful. He's a great man. He will be a greater man some day too. But his life is small and a bit confined by his PA and his level of comfort. That was a trade off. He did not miss much and what he did miss we filled in with other pursuits.
We worked every day for the past 14 years sice his diagnosis to make life easier and possible for him. We handed him his epi pen at age 5 and he's carried it ever since. No questions asked.
Go easy on yourself. Educate yourself and your family and when the time is come start to educate your child. You'll all be fine.

Posted on: Tue, 08/05/2003 - 11:44pm
pjama0502's picture
Joined: 08/04/2003 - 09:00

Thank you SO much for your support. We have an appointment next week with the allergist - I'll let you know what he says!

Posted on: Thu, 08/07/2003 - 11:33am
pjama0502's picture
Joined: 08/04/2003 - 09:00

Thanks for all of the support. This week has been horrible, but I am very glad I've found this board.

Posted on: Tue, 08/26/2003 - 10:14am
b-egirl's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

Hi Peg541,
I am new to this board, but not to PA, my son was diagnosed at age 2, he is almost 5. I often think about his life when he is not under my wing. Reading your posting helped. I also felt guilty for the first 6 months after diagnosis, now I know it wasn't my fault, and all I can do is educate him, and people in his life. So far so good. He has only had the one reaction, before we knew.

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