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Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 1:38am
starlight's picture
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

What idiots.
I didn't read through all the posts that were made, but did you print out and show them the "In Memory" thread? Did you take pictures of your child's reactions to show them?
If it were me and worse came to worse, I would have taken pictures of the reactions, shown them and told them that I had explicitly said not to do X and you did, and this is what happened to my son. I am taking these pictures and all my documentation on how we have continually asked for a peanut-free church and showing them to my lawyer. Because the child is in their care and they KNOW what the child needs and is purposefully denying it, that's called NEGLECT. It's illegal. AND if your child dies in their care because they handed out a peanut treat KNOWING he would have a reaction? That's call MANSLAUGHTER. I don't know if it would go anywhere in court, but you can bet it would get their attention. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
But I'm glad you found someplace new that actually cares about your children. And you can rest easy knowing that these hypocritical church bastards will burn in **** [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 3:51am
katjam99's picture
Joined: 03/11/2006 - 09:00

Just agreeing with everybody's posts. It reminded me of a "conversation" I had with a "Christian" grandma, who, when she saw that my two children refused candy due to their allergy, went off about the "peanut kid" at her grandchildren's private christian school.
Without pausing for breath, she said this 1st grade child's parents had actually talked the principal into a peanut ban - and then laughed, saying "that lasted a whole one day" due to complaints from other parents. She went on to ask me if I knew how difficult it is to pack a lunch without peanuts - and finished by saying that another parent had diagnosed both of the allergic child's parents as neurotic and as damaging their poor child's psyche. I was so startled I stared at her for a moment, then opened my mouth to let her have it - when her cell phone rang and she never left off talking before we had to leave. That's the last time I saw her, and it's been unfinished business for me ever since - how I wish I had jumped in faster. Infuriating and hypocritical and so selfish.

Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 3:51pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

what kind of idiot asks a PA child's parent if they "know how difficult it is to pack a lunch without peanuts"? of course we know how to pack a lunch without peanuts....do it every single day. we know how to run entire households without peanuts. good grief, what a dumb question.
sorry you've continued to have problems with your situation. hope things improve soon.
you and i were posting about similar things during a similar time frame. fortunately for us, over the years our school has done so much to help us. they are far from perfect but they have gradually enacted things i have never even asked for. examples: our school system's cafeteria kitchens (all of them, k-1 building, 2/3 building, intermediate blding, jr high and high school) are peanut free.
kids are still allowed to bring peanut products from home in their own lunches but they sit in a "cold lunch" area away from the "hot lunch" trays. if my kids for some reason bring "cold lunch" from home, they have special permission to eat amongst the "hot lunch" trays provided by the cafeteria. they are never made to sit near anyone else's lunch from home.
even the old pb&j sandwich given to those children behind on lunch payments at one time have been done away with and sunbutter or cheese sandwiches are used instead. our school system even called me to request permission to use the sunbutter because they were concerned that it might resemble pb too closely and worry me. how awesome is that that they called me to check????
this year, i even had one parents group call me several times to fill me in on what items they were planning to sell for fundraisers at school and to ask me to eliminate any from their list that would concern me. i also had a baseball team parent rep from our school call me about their fundraising efforts. and, i don't even have any boys or kids in that age group at all. they had just heard my kids were in the school system and wanted my advice on what would be best for them to sell and not sell in the buildings.
classroom parties are not all peanut free but my kids' classes always are supposed to be. IF peanut products enter the room (and they do), the kids are not allowed to open those until they have left school premises. there are always the few parents that cannot wrap their brains around the concept of compassion and consideration but, all in all, we've had wonderful support from our school and our kids' classmates' families. it's not a perfect situation but it's so much better than what you've been made to put up with.
our only real issues to speak of recently have been in regard to field trips in which parents invariably send pb&j and other peanut products in thier kid's sack lunches. i have a feeling the school would take care of this issue for me if i would just vocalize my concerns. i don't think the nurse is actually even aware of it, primarily because i haven't made her aware. our school has taken for granted that i'm always along for field trips and outings and they know i will protect my child. again, i'm sure this issue is partially my own fault since the school has accomodated us in every other way in the past.
as far as church....sad to say, but i gave up on that a long time ago. too much inconsistency in every church we ever attended. it never mattered what we were told, peanuts ended up near the kids almost every time we left them in someone else's care at church. it was never intentional or antagonistic like what you seem to have experienced. it was mostly a result of too many different, uninformed volunteers coming in and out and/or parents or other groups bringing in surprise treats for the kids. even though their intentions were never to oppose us, it was dangerous all the same.
good luck to you.

Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 9:11pm
synthia's picture
Joined: 10/05/2002 - 09:00

Hang in there Val.I'll call you soon. Send a letter,cc to ALL.{{{Hugs}}}
Love this site

Posted on: Tue, 06/13/2006 - 8:51am
CVRTBB's picture
Joined: 11/23/2001 - 09:00

Thanks so much for all the reply's, now I don't feel like it's "just me" if you kwim? There are a few other issues with the church a little more involved but we are SO happy with the new church and hopefully everything will work out for the best.
I'm working full time this week covering for the secretary at our local Habitat for Humanity office while she is out of the country. I'm not used to being gone all day and am exhausted. The kids went to work with Daddy and I stopped off at a restaurant to eat on the way home (rare treat) and now I'm feeling terribly sick! Yuck!
I called the school office today and asked for a copy of the kids' school records so I'm sure the word is out by now... we'll see what happens.
Thanks for caring,
PS: Hi Synthia! I'd love to hear from you, I lost your phone # and email somehow. Take Care!

Posted on: Thu, 06/15/2006 - 5:06am
bostondaddy's picture
Joined: 11/23/2005 - 09:00

Reading alot of these posts are really getting to me. My 7 year old PA/TA son is my life (soon to be having another) and he is my number one priority in life. I WILL LOSE FRIENDS, RELATIVES, ECT... before I let someone harm my child. I know it is best to educate people on these allergies, but please if you know they will NEVER GET IT, then cut them off for life. And for the RUDE comments that you sometime hear? CONFRONT THEM RIGHT THERE AND THEN!!!!! Alot of time when you don't say something, you wish you did. Just my thought on this [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
And to all the food allergic peopleand loved ones, I wish a FULL LIFE of SAFE LIVING [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 10/11/2007 - 11:34am
CVRTBB's picture
Joined: 11/23/2001 - 09:00

I was just re-reading through all this and thankful that we are out of that mess!!!! This is our second year homeschooling and I wish we had made that decision looooong ago!
The church that I thought was so great in the beginning turned out to be another dud... the childrens church worker, after being warned repeatedly that the kids could be [b]NO WHERE[/b] near peanuts made no bake cookies with the kids and was going to dump a full can of peanuts in the batter. When the kids reminded her that there were [b]FOUR[/b] kids in the room allergic to peanuts she split the batter and only put it in half!! She then had the gall to tell the kids that it was safe to eat the half with no peanuts and they trusted her! UGH! She had not checked the labels of any of the other ingredients! So... needless to say we are done with church for a while.
We have recently found a church that is great about working with us on the allergies but is a different (very different) denomination. But they are the only true Christians that we have found in dealing with this! My girls have been attending a "youth group" there on Saturday nights for several months and they are GREAT!
Still praying that we will be able to find a church that fits our beliefs and will be truly Christlike!

Posted on: Fri, 10/12/2007 - 4:44am
momto4boys's picture
Joined: 06/06/2007 - 09:00

Just read through this. All I can say is WOW!!!! Can anyone be that ignorant? At my church they have coffee and doughnuts/bagels one a month after Mass. We have been avoiding it since DSs official diagnosis of PA. Before we knew about the PA we went and he just ate something that "looked" peanut free. (We were avoiding nuts due to known dairy allergy) He never had a problem but now that I know about the PA I have just avoided the situation. DS#1 and DS#2 both not PA are also going to catechism once a week there. At the orientation the leader stated to parents that there would be a snack given and that due to possible allergies it would consist of graham crackers and apple juice and would be the same every week. They also told parents that no food could be brought to the classes for any reason (no birthday treats, etc.). I was very happy with this policy even though DS with PA is not going to it yet. I can't believe that people cannot do without nuts for a short period of time epecially when a child's life is at stake.
Take Care,



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