39 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted on: Wed, 02/13/2002 - 11:52pm
Kim M's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Ok, your initial post made me so crazy I wanted to scream. I started to reply, but I did something wrong and lost all I had written, got distracted by kids and never went back to write it again. But now I will say what I had wanted to say the first time: you have to get your child out of that school. The teachers and the school leaders have made it very clear that they don't care about your son's welfare. They lie to you, they don't understand the serious of his allergy, and his life is at risk. I know you said your home is small, but if public school is not an option, home schooling has got to be better than worrying about your son every day he goes to that school. Even if you could get them to change their ways with legal threats, can you ever really trust them? I feel so bad about your situation; I hope you can get it resolved soon. Good luck.

Posted on: Fri, 02/22/2002 - 2:27pm
ElizabethsMom's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/17/1999 - 09:00

Change churches. Immediately. I am apalled. This is unacceptable behavior from any adult. I would write your church council a polite, objective letter detailing the incident. If your congregation is part of a larger conference, I would inform the conference as well. Include a good article (I like "A Wholesome Poison" New York Times Magazine, June 10, 2001 Section 6) that backs up the assertion that this is a medical diagnosis like any other. Your family can find faith and support in a welcoming, safe environment. Ours has. Our church has done a great job in welcoming our PA 4-year-old into the fold. - Kristin

Posted on: Sat, 02/23/2002 - 8:18am
cathlina's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/29/2001 - 09:00

Very UN-Christian behavior. I would change churches.

Posted on: Sun, 02/24/2002 - 12:47am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

I'm sure that we all can relate to being accused as "neurotic". Two things have helped me address that: 1. I make sure that the facility (church, school, etc) has ample documentation from our physician, and 2. When I make statements re necessary modifications I try to remember to say "My physician says our daughter must..."
We learned after having worked with our very cooperatve school for 3 years that the best (only) protection for our child was to have a thorough, *written and signed* accommodation/prevention plan.
Good Luck!

Posted on: Tue, 02/26/2002 - 12:09am
CVRTBB's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/23/2001 - 09:00

Thank you all for the helpful suggestions! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My dh and I had a long talk about all of this last night. He is dead set against me homeschooling (because I have fibromyalgia and lyme disease and have a hard enough time with the fatigue that comes with these 2 diseases and keeping up with our 2 that are still at home and the housework). What we have decided is
1)To call the Allergist and Pediatrician and get written documentation to give to the school explaining the severity.
2)To pick him up from school at noon (before lunch) each day for the rest of the year. That way he will not be there at lunchtime or playing on the playground equiptment.
My 8 yos came to me last night and told me that the school is now selling bags of peanuts at lunchtime [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] grrrrrr! My dh did not think he knew what he was talking about... surely these people would not be that callous!!! Well, I have a key to the kitchen which has a closet with the cleaning supplies- I clean the school bathrooms twice a week to pay for part of the boys' tuition. So... I went over and checked and sure enough they are selling big bags of roasted peanuts AND the big Grandma's Peanut Butter Cookies!!! I was so furious!!!!!!! I feel like telling them that if my son has a reaction from thier stupidity and lack of concern that I will have them arrested for child endangerment! I am so angry my stomach is tied up in knots!!!
Thanks for letting me vent and for caring!
Valerie

Posted on: Tue, 02/26/2002 - 8:04am
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I read your post an hour ago, and was so angry, I had to think about how I would respond. You have to follow your own heart on this one. None of us can tell you what to do.
I have a question. Does the administrator of the school UNDERSTAND the issues of living with a peanut allergy? I have had more compassion in the public school system, than you are having in a private school (where you pay tuition!!!). I am stunned at the lack of compassion or care these people show to a young child! I know you feel like you do not have any other options. You are seeing your situation as a Plan A and Plan B. You NEED to find a Plan C. You need to REALLY look at the hearts of the people who are "in charge" of this private school. If this is how they treat people, is that REALLY where you want your children to be trained? Is that the mentors you want for them? My heart goes out to you. I grew up in a church/school environment that sounds much like the group of "leaders" you are dealing with now. We decided that the negative outweighed the positive we thought we were recieving. We left that controlling situation. I look back now and see how uncompassionate and judgemental they were. I am so glad that we decided to spare our own children from those type of influences. We are involved in a church with wonderful, compassionate people. They are out there! You need to find other options. I hope you can find "peace" about what to do. It is obvious something needs to change. You posted that if your son was exposed, "you would hold them responsible". They cannot accept responsiblity in a kind environment. I do not think you would be able to get them to accept responsbility if something unfortunate happened. (Do you have written, documented, signed paperwork from them?)
You are in a tight spot. You need to find a way "out". Best Wishes to you. I am sorry that these people are so heartless.

Posted on: Tue, 02/26/2002 - 8:56am
Kim M's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

I agree with everything twinsmom said, and she said it so much better than I was going to, which was going to be on the order of "please, please, please get your children out of this situation." I know it is much easier for those of us not involved in the situation to see ways out of it, but you do need to come up with a "Plan C" for the health and safety of your children. When I think about the values these people are conveying to the children they are teaching, my heart just breaks. I think public schools might be more open to your needs, although you say the education there is not what you would wish. The life education they are getting at this church school is not at all what you would want for them either. Please keep us informed and let us know how things turn out. My PA daughter is will be four in July, so I am going to be involved with school issues soon, and I can't believe the things that other parents have gone through. I only can keep my fingers crossed and hope that our experience is better. The information on this site I know will be invaluable.

Posted on: Wed, 02/27/2002 - 2:14am
CVRTBB's picture
Offline
Joined: 11/23/2001 - 09:00

Thank you twins Mom and Kim for your concern. I had a long talk with the Principal yesterday when I picked Timmy up at noon. He agreed to pull the peanuts and not sell them anymore and to put a small table at the end of the table that Timmy's class sits at that will be just for Timmy. (I went to the school last night and checked to see if this was followed and he had pulled the peanuts AND the peanut butter cookies). I will see how this goes and if anything further happens I will somehow come up with a Plan C! I can't allow this to continue the way it has been going! We are also looking for a different Church and have not been back since the last incident... I'm sure that we can find one where the people are more compassionate!
Thanks Again!
Valerie

Posted on: Wed, 02/27/2002 - 3:50am
anonymous's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Good for you! I am glad the principal was understanding. Best wishes as you look for a new church home. It will be so good for you and your family to be surrounded by people who treat others the way they should. If you can't find compassion in your own church....where can you find it!!?? Keep your chin up and keep us informed.

Posted on: Wed, 02/27/2002 - 10:23am
mew's picture
mew
Offline
Joined: 02/08/2000 - 09:00

Are you the only one who has spoken to the teachers and administrators at school about your child's allergies, or has your husband spoken them also? This will sound bad, but schools often tend to be somewhat sexist. For whatever reason, sometimes they take concerns more seriously when they come from a child's father than from their mother. "Mom's neurotic, but if Dad took time from his busy schedule to come talk to us about this, then it must be REALLY important."

Pages

Forum

Click on one of the categories below to see all forum topics.

Peanut Free Store

More Articles

Halloween can be treacherous for a child with a peanut allergy and a parent who is trying to stay...

What kid doesn't love dressing up in a costume and going door to door on Halloween night, and collecting a bag full of candy? Unfortunately, this...

Are you looking for peanut-free candies as a special treat for a child with...

For those with peanut allergies, baked goods present a serious risk. Many baked goods do not appear to contain peanuts, yet were baked in a...

Do you have a sweet tooth and more specifically a chocolate craving? Those with peanut allergies must...