I am having a hard time with neighborhood children coming over to play at our house, whether inside or out, and they are wanting a snack to eat. I am scared to death to feed them anything not knowing if they have a food allergy or not. If they live across the street or next door and they tell me they are hungry, I tell them to go home and get something and then come back when they are finished and their hands are washed. Am I being too extreme?
I guess I could look at it another way...if I do provide the snack, I know it is safe for my son to be around but the other child could be allergic to something in it and the parents haven't said anything. What do you all do in this situation? My son is at that age where he wants to be around other children (almost 5) and it seems our house is a "magnet" for kids.
Okay, I've rambled on enough and will leave the rest for advice!
My goal is to have my house be the house everyone wants to go to. Could you call the parents or stop by their houses and ask them if their kids are allergic to anything and if it is OK to feed them?
Hi Connie,
Yes, I can delete and entire thread. It would also delete all the replies. You can also edit your post and erase the text or change it etc. I read your post (didn't you post the same subject recently?) and I don't know why you would want to delete it. It is something I think about and even parents whose children do not have allergy's should think about. These boards help us all to understand what someone else has thought about or may be thinking about etc. We learn from each others mistakes as much as we learn from each others gains.
Stay Safe,
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[email]"Chris@PeanutAllergy.Com"[/email]
Hi Connie! I can understand where you are coming from....I think we all start out by making our environment as small and controlled as we feel comfortable with. Gradually (at our own pace) we branch out a little at a time. I have sent peanut butter faces home for a little scrub some days. On these days I offer to walk all the kiddies over to the park to play because I do not want any traces at my place. We have many anaphylactic chilldren that we entertain (having met through the local anaphylactic group). You are pretty safe with Chapman's popsicles or Hostess pretzels where I live. There must be similar products where you are. It is also hard to go wrong with fresh fruit or veggies, as very few people have allergies to these. Some days I serve lunch to people with peanut, egg, and dairy anaphylaxis. It takes a little imagination but everybody is safe. A short time ago I would not have dreamed of doing such a thing.
[This message has been edited by Coco (edited March 16, 1999).]
[This message has been edited by Coco (edited March 16, 1999).]
Connie: I understand how you feel. I don't know if people just don't think, or they are really just inconsiderate. A few weeks ago, I explained the severity of Sean's peanut and egg anaphylaxis to the mother of a little girl I watch after school. I explained to her and her daughter that they can not feed Sean anything because of this situation. I explained that as for the egg allergy, he would have to ingest the particular food. I further explained that with the peanut anaphylaxis, the contamination could be airborne, on her hands, or ingested, therefore, making it very important not to bring any peanut or nut products into the home. Since that talk, the mother has brought snacks for my other 3 children (she works in a grocery store) to enjoy. To date, they have included 2 large bags of M&M's, 1 large bag of Twix bars, and Bakery cupcakes. Sean is 16 months old and doesn't understand why he can't have what my other three children are having. I try to take it away (to dispose of later) but she hands it to my 3 year old who throws a tantrum when you try to take it. I am slowly getting very angry and have discussed with my husband the proper way to re-enforce the rules that I explained to her earlier. Before this, she never brought them stuff. Go figure! Lynda
Lynda, why not take a different kind of tactic and say that you won't be allowing "junk" foods in your house in the afternoon. No young child (none of us, really) need to be eating that kind of stuff on a regular basis. I've posted this before, but I think you'd be doing your pn allergic child (and your others, too) a major favor by not letting them get accustomed to that kind of stuff for snack. What ever happened to an apple or cut up watermelon? Plus, if the woman never did this kind of stuff before your discussion with her, I would really think hard about continuing taking care of her child. Friends like that, you don't need (my opinion, only, of course). Nancy
Lynda I'm sorry to hear that this has become such a problem. Perhaps you could be ready with a list of safe acceptable snacks when next you see this lady. (Remember her intentions are probably good even though she is driving you crazy.) Just let her know in a kind way "if you'd like to bring snacks over for the kids that's really sweet but for safety's sake they will have to be something from this list." I find that some people (particularly one mom at my son's school) really want to bring food into the class that is safe for him too. They will ask me what recipe they can make etc. My rule for Charles is that if it is not from our home...he may not have it, period...not even if it is given to him by a teacher etc. This is a simple rule for him to remember at age five. The mom in the class however has a very difficult time with this idea. Tell me which bakery you can shop at I'll go there she says (It is a thirty minute drive). And I thank her for her concern and I think she is to be admired for her caring...but she just doesn't get it. A safety rule is just that and must (in my mind) always remain the same.
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