MY NEW MISSION STATEMENT

Posted on: Wed, 05/31/2006 - 11:20pm
stephi13339's picture
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Joined: 03/09/2006 - 09:00

MY dd WILL outgrow PA

It is my goal in life to make sure that she has ABSOLUTELY NO MORE EXPOSURES- thus increasing her chances of outgrowing PA by age 5.

Anyone in her life that is not onboard with this goal, is not in her life.

Whether it be - family members, church WHATEVER. Nothing less than peanut free. No exceptions. No giving in. No compromises.

Period.

Posted on: Wed, 05/31/2006 - 11:39pm
hopechapel's picture
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Joined: 12/11/2005 - 09:00

How do you plan to acheive this? Do you mean no cheats here and there like taking a risk on a loaf of bread or some ice cream that is not Breyer's?
I am just curious because I want nothing more, like we all do, than for my three yr old to outgrow. He has had no exposures that I know of, he recently broke out in some nasty eczema --- but it was unclear what caused it --- may have been my sisters dusty house and fluffly dog --- or it could have been a cross-contam. I may be erring on the side of wanting him included.
What are your action plans besides reigning in those people who don't get it?
I think it is a good goal.

Posted on: Wed, 05/31/2006 - 11:59pm
stephi13339's picture
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Joined: 03/09/2006 - 09:00

I have absolutely no idea.
I'm taking my youngest, ds Robbie 13 mo to the allergist tomorrow because of a questionable bout of hives. Since his sibling is PA his risk is 7%. I ate peanuts while I was pregnant and nursed (up til 5 months ago) I'm freaking out.
I'm done with PA- I'm going on the offensive- I'm going to do my best to get rid of it.
I'm going to be as neurotic and anal about PA precautions as I can be. I'm going to be a bleep to absolutely everyone IRT peanuts. You name it, I'll do it or say it.
[This message has been edited by stephi13339 (edited June 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 12:17am
Sarahfran's picture
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Joined: 06/08/2000 - 09:00

Let us know how that works for you and if the benefits outweigh the difficulties.
Seriously, if I took that approach it would mean: no vacations (we camp and can't control what other people eat), no trips to the grocery store with DD (peanuts in open bins), no visits to any relatives (they are all super-aware and careful and clean all surfaces and make safe food before we visit, but they don't keep peanut-free homes and indeed DD has had contact reactions twice at relatives' homes), I'd have to quit my job and homeschool (we have a peanut free classroom and peanut free lunchtable but the school itself isn't peanut free), only one or two restaurants that I know of would be safe, no extracurricular activities (the Brownies only serve safe snacks at meetings, but the location they meet at isn't necessarily peanut-free--they meet in a Scout Room at a church where many other troops meet and I don't know which if any of them are dealing with peanut allergies). I guess we'd pretty much stay home and entertain ourselves. Could be nice, and certainly would put my mind at ease, but my mission statement has more to do with educating others and ourselves, taking reasonable precautions, and learning to live with the allergy rather than letting the allergy define our lives.
Sarah

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 12:44am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Quote:Originally posted by stephi13339:
[b]I ate peanuts while I was pregnant and nursed (up til 5 months ago) I'm freaking out.
[/b]
I know this isn't what your thread is about but [b]stop blaming yourself[/b]. You did NOT give your daughter pa - it just happened. I realize one of the [i]theories[/i] is that early exposure [i]contributes[/i] to the development of pa - but I don't think it has been proven.
********
And I wish you luck on your mission. [img]http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/sign0111.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 1:20am
stephi13339's picture
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Joined: 03/09/2006 - 09:00

I just declaring outloud a new way of thinking for myself and my family. Positive and hopeful. I'm going to do my part, to the best of my ability, to kick this thing in the butt. It does not define my life or hers, that's why I'm stating this. If strict and total avoidance can get rid of this thing then why shouldn't I go for it guns blazing.? I already have to do all these things- its not like I'm suddenly out of the blue going to start taking care of my dd. Been doing that for awile- thank you very much.
Sarahfran- your kids are in school right? My PA dd is not she's 2 and I'm a SAHM- and I HOPE to get rid of this before school happens. She's still young and at home with me- so its relatively easy to take care of this.
I'm going to be PROACTIVE not REACTIVE.
AnnaMarie- You're right I am blaming myself. I never did before- but now that I'm faced with my baby going to the allergist........
There have been a lot of "risks" that I've taken. We're those "risks" really worth it? This isn't just about tightening my comfort zone, but about defeating this thing while there's still a chance too.
The best defense is a good offense.

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 2:18am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

It's good to go on the offensive--- to feel in control rather than be controlled. However, I'm concerned that excessively focusing on eliminating all peanut exposures will limit your child from other aspects of life that also are important--- having friends, etc. If you truly are avoiding all possible exposures, nobody can enter your home because they could have residues on them, you couldn't go anywhere because any doorknob or something else could have residues on it. I don't know if you meant going to this extreme, but if you do, I personally think the cost to your child's well-being would be greater than the benefit of avoiding all residues.
Also, I'm concerned you are setting yourself up for a big fall. What if you take all these steps and your child doesn't outgrow the allergy?

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 2:30am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I say -- if this is what makes sense for you, GO FOR IT. You seem to be mentally well-prepared for the natural consequences of being fairly ruthless and inflexible about the PA. This is good, since (in my experience) there will be a social price to be paid, certainly.
This is also how we live. We do it knowing that there is no hope for our daughter to outgrow, but the peace of mind that you gain with such caution is sooooo freeing. (Edited to add that Sarah must actually [i] know us to have been so accurate in her description of how we live!![/i]) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Yes, it is a bit isolating, but think about how pioneer families lived-- and were their kids "messed up," "poorly socialized," or "weird"? Living this way doesn't mean that you aren't really "living"-- you're just doing it your way.
First you clamp down everything that you don't directly control, and then you slowly expand as you are able to research different opportunities (we learned that swimming at our local rec center is very safe, one grocery store is better than the other, and that the used bookstore is in some ways safer than the library...there are times when the movies are pretty safe, and days when the local park is off-limits). Just as examples.
It isn't for everyone, but [i]we like living without being constantly terrified of making an error in judgement[/i]. Everything we do is planned and well-considered, generally speaking. It seems rigid from the outside, but it really doesn't feel that way to us.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited June 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 8:18am
MimiM's picture
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Joined: 10/10/2003 - 09:00

Does your daughter have play dates ever? Do you have children over to your house, visit theirs or take any "classes" such as gymboree or ballet, gymnastics, etc. because though the risk of exposure is low, it is always there when other children are around.
When I found out that my son was egg allergic, I did everything I possibly could to prevent him from exposure to peanuts and you know what? He found one in some toys at a friend's house and ate it. He was 2 years old. He had just recently tested negative for peanut. After this, however, he was positive so I'm sure it was his first exposure.
He's now 8. With his allergy, I still do everything possible to keep him from being exposed but it still happens sometimes despite all of my efforts.
Good luck with your mission. I hope that you are right but please prepare yourself for the fact that there is a lot that is out of our control.
...and just being realisitic, even if she is completely without exposure until she is five, she still may not outgrow it.
I have two suggestions for you:
First, please stop blaming yourself for your daughters allergy. We have all been there. Allergies are on the rise in general. Many women sit and eat peanuts while they are breastfeeding and their kids don't become allergic. It just so happens that ours did.
Next, avoid nuts as much as possible but do so using your best effort to let your daughter, and yourself (and family), live life to it's fullest.

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 8:18am
luvmyboys's picture
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Joined: 05/25/2006 - 09:00

I agree with CorvallisMom (as usual =) ). Go for it! Everyone has to find the balance that works for them and their family and different scales tip differently. My ds is not as sensitive as Corvallis mom's dd, but we led a fairly similar lifestyle to that described until RAST at 5 yrs confirmed he was still a class 4. No we didn't worry TOO much about residue contact but we didn't do vacations, VERY few restaurants, ate VERY little food prepared by others...didn't really bother us too much. You get used to it. You do what you need to to keep your kid safe and that varies from family to family, sometimes out of necessity and sometimes the necessity isn't hitting you in the face but you do it anyhow, out of hope or a need to reduce stress, or whatever.
Good Luck and take care, luvmyboys

Posted on: Thu, 06/01/2006 - 11:38am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

steph, good to see that you know what you want to do for you and your family. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I agree with Sarahfran, actually.
I knew, from a young age that my son was not going to outgrow his PA (and I have raised the ? here about whether or not that affects comfort zones), so perhaps that's why I think very very differently than you do (which is okay).
I hope your child outgrows their PA. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I hope this "mission" works for you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

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