My daughter\'s dream

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While waiting for the bus, my daughter told me about her dream. She said she had a dream her brother (her twin) ate a peanut and "went to God" She said it matter of factly, wasn't upset, and told me "I know it was just a dream mom" I replied, that's right honey, just a dream, your brother is fine and will be around to bug you for a long time. She laughed and went on the bus. Her brother, thank God, didn't hear this conversation.

I couldn't believe it. I have never told the kids the allergy had the possibility of being fatal. Because of that, the dream upset me more. I have being very good this year, no paranoia or anything like that. I'm telling myself it's just a dream, don't worry. But a teeny part of my mind says what if it's kinda a twin connection type of thing. I'm trying not to dwell on this and have done pretty good so far but I just gotta let it out a little more.

How depressing yesterday morning was. When she left with her brother on the bus I did a lot of praying, more so than usual.

Still bugging me a little. Gotta keep telling myself it's just a dream....it's just a dream......it's just a dream.

renny

On Oct 5, 2005

renny, big hugs! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Okay, first of all, it is just a dream.

I remember years ago I had a dream about my Father dying (he has been dead now for 11 years). I got up and called my Mother who was at work (midnight shift) and told her about my dream and how upset I was.

She told me that in dreams death = birth. Now, I don't know who told her that, but it's based on some kind of dream reading. So, basically if you (or someone else) dreams of someone dying, it's likely that you'll hear of someone being pregnant in the near future or perhaps even re-birth in a different form (say a person changing their ways, whatever).

I know that that is really hard to swallow because it sounds kinda "out there", but I do know when my Mom told me that, it made me feel a lot better about that dream. And do you know, to this day, 20+ years later, I can still remember that dream?

Within the last few months I had a dream about my Mother dying. I couldn't help it. I called her to check to make sure that she was okay.

I also understand that connectedness you're talking about between twins (not that I am a twin, but understand what you're talking about).

Here's a question for you though - since you haven't told your children that PA has the potential to be fatal, where do you think your daughter got that? Or do you think she did, or was it just part of the dream?

Anyway, I hope this helps in some way. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 5, 2005

Ya know Cindy, I have no idea how she came to that conclusion in the dream. I'm careful when we talk about it in front of the kids. I guess it's possible she may have heard something at home or in school, who knows. I'm glad she isn't upset or obsessed with it. That has made it easier on me.

I have heard about the death=birth in dreams. I just hope that tubal holds on me!

Take care.

renny

On Oct 5, 2005

Oh, renny, it doesn't necessarily mean birth for you but perhaps someone else in the family or even a friend. Don't worry, the tubal will hold (which is what all of us say that have had tubals [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 6, 2005

Hi renny -

I think it is common knowledge among school kids that you could die from an allergic reaction. I know one of my son's classmates asked him that at age 6, so obviously the information is out there.

The fact that you have been so careful about the subject may have helped trigger the dream. Your daughter picked up the information at school, "knows" that you carefully avoid the subject (kids are good about knowing what parents won't talk about), and processed the information through a dream, making it safe to talk about.

I hope this helps!

On Oct 6, 2005

Aww, Renny, that would definitely change my mood for the day! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] I often wonder how my ds without the allergies will process all this about his brother. I hope he won't worry too much.

I think you can take away something good from the dream. 1) Your dd gets it and will watch out for your ds (although you probably knew that already!) 2) She's comfortable enough to talk to you about it 3) Like you said, she's not overly obsessive about it.

If I were in your shoes, I too would wonder if this was some kind of twin premonition thing, and if I were telling you this story, you'd tell me it was just a dream. Let us know if she says anything else. Do you think she talked to your ds about it? Hugs to you. Reading this gave me the chills....Meg

On Oct 8, 2005

Have you decided to talk to DS about the possible fatality of PA? Not of his PA necessarily, but of PA in general?

We waited until DS was in Kindergarten I think. Maybe he was four. But he's always been older in many ways, so if we was four, it was okay for him, and it might not be for other four year olds. I remember thinking, "Okay--the time is right for this. It's a good time for this."

And it was, but of course, it upset him. And now, he absolutely does not like to think about that. And we don't dwell on that. We dwell on being safe and being prepared in case a reaction does happen to keep him safe.

But within the past year, he went through a period of being more scared of the epipen. This from a kid who will train someone how to use the Epi. I asked him if he was so worried about the epipen hurting that he might avoid telling a teacher or someone about a reaction. He said yes. It was only then that I talked about how pain for 5 minutes is better than the alternative. And when he asked me about what that was (to make sure), I plainly told him--and coupled that with hugs and that we could simply not bear to lose him. That the EpiPen wouldn't be any worse than immunizations which he prides himself on his bravery for. Since then he's assured me that he'll be up front about a reaction and he won't try to hide it. He understands that dying is worse than any temporary pain from the Epi.

I think after a certain age (and that age differs for each kid) it's important that they know just **how** important it is to stay safe. To never take food from someone that your parent doesn't give you or says is okay. To always read the labels.

Anyway, it occurred to me that the dream may have an impact on you in other ways--aside from understandably freaking you out.

Good luck.

On Oct 8, 2005

I do plan on telling my son that pa has the possibility of being fatal. When he is ready. He is a "young" 6, and I don't think he'll grasp the concept yet and also I think he'll obsess about it. I don't think he is ready just yet. Hopefully in a year or two. I believe it is important that he knows how bad the outcome can be.

As far as fearing the epi pen, my son points out where he wants shots, and he'll watch. He has nooo fear at all with shots, thank goodness. He'll even watch a blood draw on himself. I even think I may train him at the end of this year on the epi.

As far as my dd, his twin, is concerned. I think she either picked that notion up by either overhearing a conversation between dh and myself, or by putting two and two together somehow. I don't believe she told her brother, because I'm sure he'd come to me with questions about it. If he asks me, I'll tell him, that will cue me he's ready. But for now I'll wait a little longer.

Take care,

renny

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