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Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 10:07am
Dawn's picture
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Joined: 02/22/1999 - 09:00

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] You answered my post before I could delete it...I know what denial is, I'm just not understanding where it is. I've not found it in posts I've read. What is being denied? Anyway, I deleted my post because I don't want to be involved, and here I am...aack.
------------------
Be safe,
~Dawn~

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 11:11am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Nevermind; I am going to stay out of it after all.
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited January 10, 2003).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 1:42pm
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Hi All,
I apologize for using the word intentional, I was in another zone & it was insensitive. Don't think about, its unrealistic.
If this causes one anger & one still has "fears" about PA rather then "concerns", then the possibility exists that one is not ready to "hear" what I have said.
Education of PA leads to "confidence" leads to understanding how much control one possesses. The more education & confidence one gathers in teaching your child, it will help them to grow strong. If one is at the point of letting go of their offspring into the world, & the parent still has "fear" then what has one projected onto their offspring. Fear or confidence?
"Denial" is a clinical term that is used in every support group I have come in contact with to help clients. The Helen Keller story is the best story I've ever read regarding "denial" & "enabling" by parents.
Things may look different down the road, it just depends on the road you take.

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 3:00pm
Rae's picture
Rae
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Joined: 03/28/2000 - 09:00

Lisa, I have just been reading until this point. I totally agree that we, as parents of PA children, are responsible to prepare our children for adulthood. I understand your point, but I'm totally lost on what Peg stated that prompted you to make it directed toward her in particular. After reading in your apology that you are horrified when "(any) parent willfully chooses to behave in a negligent manner with their responsibilty to their peanut allergic offspring all the way till adulthood & into adulthood", I actually went to the original thread and read Peg's posts. I couldn't find a post that reflected negligence. Could you please give me some examples that you recognized?
Rachel

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 3:38pm
ajas_folks's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!
According to Webster:
"Apology" -- "An acknowledgement of some fault, injury, insult, etc., with an expression of REGRET and a PLEA FOR PARDON."
In Utter Disgust,
Elizabeth, Mother (not-to-be-confused-with-"MORON") of a now 4 year-old PA child who will have my LIFELONG loving, appropriate parental involvement in his world -- PA included!!!!!!
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited January 11, 2003).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 3:46pm
Dawn's picture
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Joined: 02/22/1999 - 09:00

Lisa, I understand what you are trying to get across, but how can you make such assumptions about people when all you know of them is what they post? Surely, you of all of us understand what it is to have your post misunderstood? Do you really believe that because a parent has fear that they are in denial and thus they are "enablers"? That's a pretty big leap, I think.
------------------
Be safe,
~Dawn~

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 9:59pm
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

HI Lisa, If I may ask this to you. What type of reactions have you seen your child have?Also how did you find out your child had the allergy? Maybe you have posted that elsewhere but I can not find it. Sometimes we understand others by these two answers. take care claire

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 10:15pm
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Negligence from my perspective is a continuous choice of behavior that negatively affects that of another person; which has been clearly defined to me by observing judge(s)in a court of law as they have addressed parents, and it has been described to me by witnessing parental testimony.
"Education" in every aspect of PA including its social aspects is a progressive step that releases "fear" by allowing one to grow "to be strong & to be confident" to teach one's child with positive reinforcement will continually strengthen a "child's esteem".
Education through studying peanut allergy information & by asking questions; & additionally by working w/the public by discussing PA & answering the public's questions will allow growth. Continuous "anger" inhibits growth. The choice of "understanding" allows one to "resolve anger" appropriately whereby allowing one to grow simultaneously. One must first allow oneself time to process information.
I will be off the boards for the remainder of the wk/end to spend time w/my family.

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 10:55pm
Rae's picture
Rae
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Joined: 03/28/2000 - 09:00

Lisa, again, I would really like to understand your side of this. I feel as though my question was just skipped over. As referring to:
"(any) parent willfully chooses to behave in a negligent manner with their responsibilty to their peanut allergic offspring all the way till adulthood & into adulthood",
Could you please quote, or just give examples or Peg's post that led to your belief that she was negligent?
Rachel

Posted on: Sat, 01/11/2003 - 12:30am
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Just to inform those who may be interested: Erik started a wonderful thread on "off topic" titled something like "come here for personal attacks and rudeness". Cheers!
Claire, what an excellent question you raised. I will look forward to the answer. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

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