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Posted on: Fri, 03/12/2004 - 6:17am
toomanynuts's picture
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Joined: 08/23/2003 - 09:00

Hi All! My DD is 3 1/2 PA/TNA and is very sensitive to contact and airborne and has had her major reactions that way.
As far as friends go we have been very blessed. We have had some friends not understand and others who have been absolutely awesome. We belong to a Mom's Club that the President of the Club told every mom that no Nut Products are allowed at our gatherings just for dd. She has friends who will go the distant for her and get it and would never bring anything for snacks for their children unless they called me first to make sure that if there child ate it that she would be safe. We have had friends and family who just don't get it and they just don't spend time with her. But when we have close friends that get it and care for her we are thankful for those friends. We also always bring enough of her snacks to share with all her friends so that they are all eating the same safe things. You just have to change things in your life and in your childs so that they always feel a part of the group and special too. Not different.

Posted on: Fri, 03/12/2004 - 9:59am
Mom2Sariah's picture
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Joined: 12/14/2003 - 09:00

Donna~Thanks for the Idaho Welcome! :P Everyone I meet is up north...that's a five hour drive for me. lol
Hey Sherlyn~I sure hope I end up having a good friend that will go the extra mile so that Sariah can go to a birthday party! What a great friend. I think that's so cool that you have friends with twins too!
Amy~ Thanks for the email offer! I'm sure I'll use it sometime! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
And EVERYONE else thank you so much for the stories and advice too! After several emails from my friend we have both choosen to end our friendship. She was not able to understand. Which is just fine with me in the long run because my dd is #1. I do have other friends I think it was just a shock. Thanks again so much!
Hugs~Cindy

Posted on: Sat, 03/13/2004 - 1:02am
KarenH's picture
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Joined: 09/21/2002 - 09:00

That really is too bad that you had to end your friendship. However, if she is that unwilling to go the distance for you, I can bet that it would've ended eventually anyway.
I don't have a PA child (I'm the PA one), but it's amazing how in times of crisis you find out who your real friends are. Two years ago I had to rush DH to the ER for a serious lung problem, and had DS with me (home sick from school). My DH lay DYING in the ER and I phoned a friend to see if she could take DS for only an hour so I could get DH settled. What was going on in the ER was traumatizing DS. This friend said no. Her reason? She was going out. Our friendship ended that second. If the situation had been reversed I'd have taken her kids in a heartbeat.
Another friend, who lived 30 minutes away, left her work, picked DS up, kept him ALL DAY, and then dropped him off after dinner.
My point is that if a friend isn't willing to be there for you and support you after 10 years, move on and you'll find someone who will. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] You'll find another PA person, there's more of us then you think [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 03/13/2004 - 1:29am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Cindy, I'm so sorry that things ended this way for you, but I completely understand. It's just not worth trying to be friends with people who can't put a child's life above eating a particular food. I really thought I could put things behind me when I tried to mend the fences with my friend, but even though I tried to act as if everything was OK, I just couldn't get how she acted out of my mind. It made me realize that my first impression was the right one. You will find lots of people who have their priorities in order. Good luck!

Posted on: Sat, 03/13/2004 - 8:04am
StaceyK's picture
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Joined: 05/06/2003 - 09:00

KarenH, I was on bedrest while pregnant with my second child for many weeks (8, if memory serves). My daughter was 2 years old at the time. It was very difficult, especially with my husband working til 9:30 every night. My friends did not offer to help - not the first casserole, not the first offer to take my 2 year old out of the house for an hour - nada (like I would have done and HAVE done for others). No one from various social groups offered to help, though they REGULARLY do so for other people. Not the first time. Most of the family didn't help - the only ones who did were *my parents* - and they came over DAILY to help me after they got off work. It was very hard on them, but they were there. My son's life was on the line - if he had been born prematurely. GRANTED - no one *owes* us their help but it was terrible how fast they all ran away from us, too. I was really hurt by it and from the day he was safely born forward, I have become more family-oriented (immediate-family) and taken the attitude that charity begins at home. I am not the giving person I once was!

Posted on: Sat, 03/13/2004 - 2:07pm
KarenH's picture
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Joined: 09/21/2002 - 09:00

That's awful Stacy [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
I'm glad that your son was born fine though...and by the way my DH is fine too.
I've been described as a marshmallow, and will do whatever I can for people. Mostly for the kids I work with, and close friends and certain family members. Basically once you have my trust I'm very loyal, but burn me and you don't get it back. Sort of sad, but especially at work I just leave it as a work relationship and don't get too personal. I found out real fast the other week when I had to sit in a room by myself to eat lunch (another teacher made a nut stew in the staff room). Not ONE person I'm friendly at work with joined me or even cared that I was sitting down there by myself. DH asked me awhile before that why I'm so distant with my co-workers...that's exactly why. I have three best friends, and really-I'm pretty happy to just leave it at that.

Posted on: Fri, 10/15/2004 - 8:15am
travelplus's picture
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Joined: 04/18/2004 - 09:00

I have to agree that going out of your way if your friend is in a crisis is very important. I would do anything possible to help a friend in such a situation. When you mentioned that your firend would not pick up your kid when you took your husband to the ER makes me wonder if the friend had an obligation that she could not back out of. But that's besides the point. As the Song Thats What Friends Are For says"In good times and in bad times I'll be on your side for ever more that's what friends are for". And this really is true that friend should be there at all times.
Even a simple telephone call is most welcome during a time of stress.

Posted on: Fri, 10/15/2004 - 10:48am
cathlina's picture
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Joined: 06/29/2001 - 09:00

"FRIENDS?" A real friend would not give you a hard time about your child's peanut allergy.
If you are losing friends because of this...consider the fact that these people are selfish and uncompassionate and not very Christian.
There's no loss at all....not at all.

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