Dating/Kissing with PA/TNA?

Posted on: Sun, 07/08/2018 - 1:16pm
Hanna Jordan's picture
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 19:34

My name is Hanna, I'm 14. I've had a life threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts since I was one. I am over-careful and sometimes I feel like I'm crossing lines sometimes trying to get the ingredients or finding out how safely my food is prepared.

But since I'm a girl and I go to parties and I hang out with guys, I have recently become aware that reaction-causing allergens can be present in the transfer of saliva from.. kissing? This makes me very uncomfortable because I'm sort of a private person. I don't want to seem high-maintenance to anyone, especially guys that I like/they like me. I'm not exactly sure how to handle kissing and going on dates at restaurants.

I've had boyfriends before, but I don't usually kiss them. I've never had a problem with it before.. but I'm terrified that I'm going to. Any tips on how to talk to your boyfriend about your allergy?

I've just been really worried about this and it's probably all I think about. I recently have been getting anxiety attacks, and no one I talk to really knows where I'm coming from or understands.

Posted on: Thu, 07/10/2014 - 9:07am's picture
Joined: 06/21/2013 - 11:03

Question of the Week: Answered!
Every week, is answering one of the questions posted in our community.
Our Answer:
Hi Hanna! It’s good to hear that you’re being cautious and seeking information about living with peanut allergy. While your safety is priority #1, it’s important to try to lead a balanced life that involves dating.
It’s true that allergens can be present and transferred through saliva. While we don’t mean to frighten you, kissing someone after he’s ingested allergens could possibly lead to anaphylactic shock. You don’t want your first kissing experience to be like the one in this video.
Communication with the person you’re dating is essential. It may be hard, but don’t be embarrassed of your allergy. A great way of talking about your allergy could be by suggesting a place to grab something to eat and then explaining why you have to be careful about what/where you can eat. Then maybe share a funny story about an allergic reaction you had and how you could potentially suffer a fatal reaction by kissing someone who eats certain foods. Starting off in a fun, low-pressure setting could be a good way to educate the person you’re with about PA. Then when you’re more comfortable let the person know about the severity of the allergy. The right guy will take the necessary precautions and know how lucky he is to date you!
Check out this video for some some solid PA dating advice. And this thread about a 24-year-old with PA also has plenty of helpful dating advice.
We asked our Facebook fans for their input, and you can read their responses here.
Best of luck and let us know how everything turns out!

Posted on: Sun, 07/13/2014 - 6:18am
Hanna Jordan's picture
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 19:34

Thanks this was actually really helpful. I feel more confident. I guess sometimes I just feel isolated about it, since not very many people in my community have any intolerances.

Posted on: Sun, 07/13/2014 - 6:22am
Choppy's picture
Joined: 07/13/2014 - 13:08

Hi Hannah, I totally understand what you are going through. If they are a genuinely nice person they will understand. I'm allergic to peanuts and when I was 17 I kissed my boyfriend and went in to anaphylactic shock. He had been eating peanuts and I didn't know he had. He new I had a peanut allergy but I had always brushed over it because I was so embarrassed and thought he won 't be interested in me if he knew how severe it was. My advise to you would just be honest to boys and if they are really worth kissing they'll understand and don't be embarrassed like I was, it's really not worth it.

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