Am I being over-protective?

Posted on: Fri, 08/17/2018 - 2:28am
judyfix's picture
Joined: 03/27/2013 - 18:40

Hello, my son is 8 years old and anaphylactic to peanuts. He has also been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and Aspergers. He really wants some freedom and I have allowed him to walk to his friends to see if they can come play, to ride his bike around the block. One time he even went swimming without me at a buddys house. The issue is that noone at these homes is trained to use the Epipen and I won't allow him to carry it by himself, he would never inject himself if needed. He has a very good understanding about not eating or touching food. I am still nervous though and know he should never be without the Epi, but at what cost to his confidence and skills to make the right decision? If any other parents could weigh in here about what you do, please help. I am very tired of being called over-protective etc. from other parents who have no idea what we're living. Along with the allergy his special needs make me very wary.

Posted on: Tue, 05/05/2015 - 11:46pm
smithdcrk's picture
Joined: 03/13/2014 - 16:46

You have the added burden of managing not only allergies, but your son's Asperger's and ADHD/ODD. Each alone can make social encounters challenging.
At 8, the maturity is not there to self carry or administer. At that age, my daughter carried a pair of EPI pens, antihistamine and cortisone creme in a bright pencil bag (or small knapsack) which she would hand over to the reigning adult. All were labeled with her name, included the FARE allergy action plan and an insurance card.
It was our routine.
Having a kit, ready made, made it easy. Her coaches, activity coordinators, babysitters and friends' parents knew to look for the bag. We once left it behind at one of my son's activities and his coach called immediately to let us know he had it!
Independence is important. But, the adults that supervise an allergic child should know the drill or know to ask for help. I always spoke with the adults that would supervise her. Some, like nurses, life guards and teachers were better versed than I. If they couldn't handle it, she couldn't participate without me as a volunteer or chaperone.
Now in HS, she carries the Auvi-Q which gives verbal instructions and she has begun teaching her friends and their parents what to look for and do in an emergency. The new FARE action plan is very helpful.
She recently attended a camp where the staff were not well informed about allergies. Although I was invited, I decided to let my daughter navigate independently.
Before anyone starts singing "Wings" ... The coach and I decided in that environment she would be safer bringing her own food. So she lugged a cooler that was almost as heavy as she to camp.
It is a tough balance. Like the ropes class at camp. The kids are rigged not to prevent the fall, but to protect them from the worst (but not all) consequences. These decisions are based on our kids maturity, their risk aversion and the support of the adults supervising them. At camp, my daughter skipped one part of the ropes course and went onto a more challenging part. When asked about it, she said, "It wasn't the spotter or the rigging I was worried about, it was that old grey board that supported THEM."
Don't worry about someone that calls you over protective. You are the one that lives this everyday. Your normal is NOT their normal.

Posted on: Tue, 05/05/2015 - 9:39am's picture
Joined: 06/21/2013 - 11:03

Thank you for reaching out in our community boards.
We asked our Facebook community to share their thoughts, and here’s what they had to say.

Peanut Free and Nut Free Community

Click on one of the categories below to see all topics and discussions.

Latest Discussions

Latest Post by MoRich Mon, 06/01/2020 - 10:06am
Comments: 6
Latest Post by Sarah McKenzie Fri, 05/22/2020 - 12:57pm
Comments: 6
Latest Post by JRM20 Wed, 05/20/2020 - 9:30am
Comments: 5
Latest Post by justme Mon, 05/18/2020 - 12:36pm
Comments: 45
Latest Post by krisztina Thu, 02/20/2020 - 4:49pm
Comments: 1
Latest Post by chicken Thu, 02/20/2020 - 4:45pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by lexy Tue, 01/28/2020 - 12:21am
Comments: 6
Latest Post by JRM20 Sun, 01/26/2020 - 11:15am
Comments: 6

Peanut Free Store

More Articles

It Is Easy To Buy Peanut Free Chocolate Online

Ask any parent of a child with a potentially life-...

Peanuts can cause one of the most serious allergic reactions of all food products. Researchers speculate...

Tree nuts and peanuts are distinctly different. An allergy to one does not guarantee an allergy to the other. Peanuts are considered legumes and...

Whether you have a child with a peanut allergy or you are sensitive to packing a nut-free lunch out of concern for other people’s children, it is...

The most frightening thing about a severe allergic reaction to a new food is that it can happen so fast. If parents are not looking for allergic...

Those with severe peanut allergies soon learn to look for the 'peanut-free sign' on any packaged food purchase. This is a notation found on a wide...

Cakes are a central part of many celebrations, from kids' birthdays to weddings. For those with severe ...

For many people with peanut allergies, baked goods present one of the most significant risks. Even if...

A recent study published in the Journal of American College of Nutrition by Mahnaz Rezaeyan Safar and a number of her colleagues has found some...

Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) is an overarching term for a number of progressive lung diseases, including emphysema, chronic...

For individuals suffering from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), managing the symptoms and avoiding exacerbations can be a full-time...

Psoriasis is a chronic skin condition that causes itchy patches of inflammation and scale on your skin. The severity of psoriasis symptoms varies...

Kim Kardashian, an immensely famous reality star and the wife of acclaimed rapper Kanye West, has spoken out about her struggle with psoriasis....

Paul Wilson, a long-term marathon runner and asthma sufferer, is urging other people with asthma to support a new campaign aimed at raising...

Psoriasis is a common skin condition that causes a buildup of cells on the skin surface, resulting in dry, red patches on the body and/or face....

Sufferers of Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) will tell you that the most difficult symptom to deal with is morning stiffness. With nearly 90 percent of...

Knowing which medication is right for you can often be a confusing and overwhelming process. The specific type of asthma medication you require...

Psoriasis is a chronic autoimmune condition that causes painful scaly patches on the skin. Although psoriasis is a very common skin condition,...

Although there are multiple treatments available for rheumatoid arthritis (RA), those suffering from the condition can still find themselves...

Patients undergoing biologic treatment for psoriasis, a relatively common inflammatory skin condition, have seen a reduction in arterial plaque...