Last night was a disaster Any advice will help I hope!!!

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 3:28am
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

pI need to explain that I am not posting this under "People not getting it"because this child is only 14 and I want to give him a chance to better himself. If he were an adult I would not hesitate. I was asked by a woman that I know from seeing her in town and at ball games to watch her son for the night. Her husband was having surgery and would she needed for her son to be cared for and get to school on time. He is a nice boy and made to respect,and behave kind of person. His parents are very strict actually and I have always been impressed by the fact that the kids have good manners. Last night after playing outside my Christopher developed a very bad headache and vomiting. I was concerned that he may have taken a blow to the head when he was playing football with this boy. Well you can all imagine what was going through my head as a mother. Eric the boy I am watching all night starts saying "MMMMMMMMM it must have been the Creamy Peanut butter we were all eating". "Chris you love peanut butter don't you". Now this is not stoping even afte I tell him Christopher does not find it funny,and did Christopher eat something he should not have. Chris was in such a deep sleep that he was not responding to me. I yell to my husband that i am very scared and Eric still laughing about the peanut joke. I said to him"Eric this is not funny and he could die from such a thing please stop joking like this. He then says to me "I am going to give Christopher peanut butter for his birthday and watch him turn colors. I was so worried about making Christophr comfortable that I just started ignoring the kid. WHy would he just not shut up and act like a concerned person? He said to Christopher in the middle of throwing up "are you going to die or something and found this humorous. I could not send him home because his mom was so far out of town. I have never been so angry,and yet I felt like hugging Christopher and telling him what a jerk the kid was being. My husband was angry and as upset as myself. What ever posessed this child to say such a stupid thing. Yes I will inform his mother about the nonsense and that I am not comfortable with my son around him. He also said that Christopher really could not die from anything like peanut butter. I was boiling and I feel terrible,but I will never care for this boy again I am sure. o.k. tell me how do I deal with making Christopher comfortable about this situation when or if it ever happens again. I know he is old enough but the poor kid was so sick. He only went to school today on account of finals going on. take care claire/p

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 4:17am
BENSMOM's picture
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Joined: 05/20/2000 - 09:00

Wow, Claire, that makes my blood boil just reading it!! I would tell that kid that he is no longer welcome at your house until he can understand how frightening his teasing was for starters.
My other idea is rather morbid, so I don't know if this would be good. What about keeping a file of articles on deaths from anaphalaxis from food allergy. Sit the kid down and let him look through it. Could also be used on in-laws and others.
I'm sorry this happened to you and your son. Let us know after you talk to his mother.

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 4:25am
e-mom's picture
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Joined: 04/23/2000 - 09:00

Claire,
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It must have been a tough situation and scary too.
The comment that Eric said, "that Christopher really could not die from anything like peanut butter" sounds to me like his parents told him that.
I know it was an awful situation for you but if I remember correctly at that age kids are feeling pretty invincible. Most kids joke during serious situations because that's the only way they know how to feel comfortable and regardless how serious the situation most boys, that I know, would not ever show any emotion whatsoever--sad but true.
I hope that his mother will explain to him that joking about death is not at all a laughing matter.
Please let us know how it goes.

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 5:30am
mom2two's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2000 - 09:00

okay, this might be a bit "out there" but you said this kids is 14. Could it be possible that he was high on something? And I know you don't want to think about this and I don't know how old Christopher is, but is it all possible that he and this boy might have maybe been drinking or something to have caused this boys bizarre behaviour and chris' throwingup? Like I said, I am probably totally off the mark and I don't want to cause more worries but this kid's reaction sounds to me like someone who is not quite right in the head OR someone who is a bit high and acting very silly.

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 5:33am
mom2two's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2000 - 09:00

what also makes me a bit suspect is your statement that chris was in such a deep sleep after vomitting and complaining of a headache that you couldn't wake him. I would seriously consider confronting chris and seeing if there is anything he may not be telling you.
I should point out that my own slightly "checkered" past as a teen is porbably what is giveing me these suspiciouns and they probably have nothing to do with your son.
[This message has been edited by mom2two (edited May 15, 2001).]

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 6:05am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Claire,
How is Chris now? I can only imagine how many gray hairs this experience gave you.
I have to say, before reading Mom2Two's post, I had the same idea. From all we have read about Chris I would be surprised if he ingested anything voluntarily - could this kid have "spiked" something Chris ate or drank? OR was Chris really just ill and this other kid in an altered state? In any case, I agree that this kid sounds either a bit unstable or like he was on something. I know kids cope with serious situations with humor, but even the most clueless among them would have snapped out of it when they saw your reactions.
I hope Chris is feeling fine, and that you can get to the bottom of this. And you can bet that kid wouldn't be setting foot in my house, either.
Amy

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 7:06am
marla's picture
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Joined: 01/15/2001 - 09:00

I agree with what the others have said. Even though this other boy is "only" 14, his behavior seems abnormal, especially given that Christopher knows him and you know his parents; I just don't think a kid in his right mind would go on this way--maybe one remark and he'd give it up. If it isn't drugs or alcohol, is it possible the boy has some other behavioral/neurological problem that you don't know about--maybe his parents are in denial (we know a family like that)? Whatever the case, I would definitely talk to his parents (though they may be very defensive) and when Christopher is feeling better, have a quiet talk with him about exactly what happened before he felt sick. Unfortunately Christopher has learned the hard way that this boy is not a real friend.

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 8:04am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Oh, Claire! My heart is pounding, and I am fighting back the tears!!! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
The first thing I have to do is echo what I think marla wrote about Christopher learning that this boy is not a true friend, and that he will probably not be able to be trusted from this point on. This, in itself, is sad enough.
I don't know how you got through it! I can honestly say that I would have been livid with this boy, and would have searched to the ends of the earth to find a family member or friend of his family to GET HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE! That would have been my gut reaction.
PLEASE fill us in on how things have been since. I truly hope Christopher is alright and can shed some light on it for you.
Thoughts and prayers,
Tammy

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 9:07am
tracy's picture
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Joined: 02/03/1999 - 09:00

I'm not condoning this child's behavior and I'm sorry you had to deal with this situation, but is it possible he was scared because his father was having surgery? Children don't always know how to express their feelings, so they sometimes act up. It's easy to ignore the reason he might be behaving badly and focus instead on the bad behavior.
--Tracy

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 9:15am
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Well you have all certainly been very honest with this one! First of all maybe I should have explained this. The boys came straight home from school at the normal bus time,and on the bus. Christopher had 2 boys come to our house to play football and I was out in the yard the entire time. They were never left alone. As for Chrisopher bein in such a deep sleep this is totally normal for him to sleep through anything. I really don't think there was any drugs or drinking involved. Every May Christopher has gotten pneumonia since he was 3 months old. So my problem was that this boy had no feelings for the fact that christopher was feeling so sick. After school today Christopher still has a headache and is not feeling well. He said that he could not believe the way Eric carried on about the peanut butter and was wishing he felt well enough to kick him out. Now you all need to know that his mom and dad have no family at all around here,and I could not have found anyone to stick him with. Christopher said that Eric is a real pain in school and that he wished he had realized why the kids don't like him. As I said we had no idea that it was going to be like this. This boys mom is pretty loud and obnoxious at the games and things,but I think she may very well be all the time. I am loosing trust in her now. Christopher is going for blood test tomorrow and we will see how he is doing. I think he is coming down with something and we will know soon. Everyone of you that posted about the Drugs,I really don't think that there is any chance of such a thing. Thanks to all of you I will never do the good Samaratan thing for a while unless I really know the family deal. Thank you all claire

Posted on: Tue, 05/15/2001 - 11:03am
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Tracy, You have a wonderful thought that I totally didn't read until now. I was thinking about letting everyone know that there is no way drugs were the answer. I have talked with MOM now and she feels terrible about the issues from last night. He very well could have been upset about his dad. I just felt and still feel that he is old enough to stop when told. The other reason that drugs is not an issue is that he was fine other than the peanut butter ordeal. I mean he sat and ate dinner politly and he played with my other 2 children very well when christopher was asleep. I think that when he realizes that mom didn't find him funny and explains that he needs to be able to use the epi pen in an emergency he will not think he is so funny. Christopher said he is the kind of kid that laughs when a child can not do well in gym. He made fun of a child in track for being so slow,that the child quit. I guess I just needed to know the family on a more personal basis. I think mom will be kicking his butt. Thank you Tracy because he very well could have missed and been worried about his dad. I just wish he had thought a little. What great people you are in helping me. I am so much calmer than I was before posting to you. Claire

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