Just a little sadness

Posted on: Wed, 04/04/2001 - 2:06am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

pI've just learned that my church's Vacation Bible School will this year not accept 3 yr. olds. On the face of it - so what, I realize the 3 yr. olds are not really "with the program" so to speak. However, for more years than I can count, they have ALWAYS been included in the week long activities and fun. I have personally taught the 3 yr. old class and it can be fun and rewarding for all involved./p
pI'm sad because I just have a feeling this is because of Philip's PA. I didn't write on the board my problems with the church's children's worship director (CWD) - but needless to say we have had some differing opinions on the peanut status of the church which started last Halloween. The preschool which is housed within the church is peanut/nut free. The CWD is not affiliated with the school but feels her programs including the Halloween festival, easter egg hunt, etc., etc. do not need to be under this same protection. Last Halloween every single candy was cross-contaminated or contained peanuts. I spoke with the CWD directly and was met with hostility and indifference./p
pWithout getting too detailed here, I took my concerns to the Senior Pastor who in turn met with the preschool director, CWD and other consistory members. Many positive things came out of this meeting except that the CWD has NEVER spoken to me again. Indeed she goes out of her way to avoid me. /p
pFor a few months I chose to let things cool off and offered all types of educational materials and research documents to aid in the education of the CWD and clergy. While the clergy was extremely receptive, the CWD hasn't accepted anything I have provided and continues to snub my family including my non-PA daughter. Others in the church who are also affected by PA and other food allergies have stated that this woman is truly difficult to deal with - she has her own opinions and that's that./p
pSo my DH and I have decided not to let my daughter attend VBS this year - even though she loves the program. I just think Philip would be so sad watching big sister go to VBS every day and picking her up with all these kids around having fun - and he's excluded. We'll make other plans for that week and she'll probably never know what she missed. /p
pI wonder if next year they will exclude the 4 yr. olds?/p
pJust makes me sad. I know you all have been in similar situations but I guess this is the real start of being excluded because of PA - ignorance and fear./p

Posted on: Wed, 04/04/2001 - 3:29am
Mir's picture
Joined: 02/12/2001 - 09:00

I'm so sorry. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] Do you think it would be worth it to meet with the Senior Pastor again to voice your concerns? It certainly sounds like you're not the only person having difficulty with this woman. How very frustrating and depressing.
But I also want to say GOOD FOR YOU for deciding to make other plans that week... you've been handed some sour lemons but I have no doubt you'll end up with some lemonade in the end. I wish these sorts of things never had to happen, but congrats on having the fortitude to make things right for your family in spite of it.

Posted on: Wed, 04/04/2001 - 3:51am
DMB's picture
Joined: 02/22/2001 - 09:00

Maybe you and the other parents of the children with food allergies can all get together and come up with a plan as to what you can do about this woman. Sounds like she shouldn't be working with children AT ALL (with or without food allergies). I'm sorry your family has to go through this.

Posted on: Wed, 04/04/2001 - 4:32am
KIM I's picture
Joined: 11/29/2000 - 09:00

Phillips mom,
How about getting together with THAT woman and the Senior Pastor after you have talked with the Senior Pastor again? Maybe with him in the room with you two she will have to express why she is so opinionated about PA kids. Our Kids can't go to VBS until they are entering kindergarten. Kim
[This message has been edited by KIM I (edited April 04, 2001).]

Posted on: Wed, 04/04/2001 - 9:46pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. Some good suggestions but I need to talk with another PA mom who is a member of consistory first - get her take on the politics of the matter. Your suggestion of meeting with the Pastor and the CWD together might be a good thing but I don't think it will change what has already been published and mailed nor their plans for 4 yr. olds and up.
I just hate this allergy so much. I cannot allow it to rule my son's life nor permit so much disappointment for him as the years go by. Right now I can protect him by what he doesn't know - he doesn't know of VBS so he won't miss it. What's next? I guess that's what was making me so sad - just the start of possibly being left out or segregated or potentially made to feel 'different'. I just want him to have a great life and have all the same opportunities that his older sister has.

Posted on: Thu, 04/05/2001 - 12:04am
kelly01's picture
Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

Sorry to hear about your experience. Just my 2 cents worth, but I would definately talk to the pastor and MAKE SURE that there is not another reason for them cancelling the 3 year program. There is always the possibility that there is some other reason (not enough volunteer teachers, money, etc.) That way, you might be able to save yourself the aggravation regarding the 3 yr program and concentrate on steps you can take to make it safe for you son next year. Take care.

Posted on: Thu, 04/05/2001 - 12:09am
ajas_folks's picture
Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Being PA is more than difficult. With our 2 year-old we have not yet experienced first-hand the kind of discrimination that seems to accompany PA & has affected so many who visit this board. But what we are experiencing is the true personal growth that comes with this allergy: growth in the qualities of tolerance, acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness -- for those persons with a "disability" or affliction and for those whose real disability is a lack of those 4 qualities.
This is a golden opportunity (& we will all have many!) to teach our children about "The Golden Rule" and any other religious &/or spiritual lessons that we wish to impart.
In Christianity (and thinking in terms of vacation bible school) the parables are numerous -- the story of Jesus & the leper comes immediately to mind.
Philip's Mom -- please keep us posted on how this resolves. Clearly your particular situation really strikes a chord with so many of us. For those of us who pray, I know you are in our prayers. And I hope all will include the CWD at your church in prayers too -- for the saddest thing is the ignorance, intolerance, and prejudice that is being exemplified by her.

Posted on: Thu, 04/05/2001 - 2:13am
EILEEN's picture
Joined: 04/06/1999 - 09:00

I am always shocked to hear stories of religious organizations, or individuals representing them taking such an "it;s your problem not our" attitude to those in need. Perhaps I should stop being surprised.
My suggestion, go back to your caring understanding pastor and suggest he make sensitivity and care of those in need the subject of his weekly sermon/lesson.... I think if got more involved if could help you ( and others in your position and not just pa).

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