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Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 11:39pm
Greenlady's picture
Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

Have you shown them the "It Only Takes One Bite" video, available from FAAN? It includes an interview with a woman with PA who talks about a severe reaction from just one bite of a pastry. It also have a doctor explaining about allergies and how to use an epipen.
I find it the best video to both show skeptics how serious allergies are and to reassure folks that you can deal with them and have a normal life.
As far as comparing PA to other things like cancer, why would he want to make it an "either/or" type argument? Is he saying that the baked goods would protect his grandchild from cancer somehow and therefore are worth the risk of killing him from PA? That's just loopy. Sounds like he is in deep denial. Hope you break through it!

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 11:52pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

What about directing fil to the *In Memory* thread:
If you don't want to direct them to this board (I understand people wanting this to be their safe-haven), there are directions in another thread about copy & pasting, though I'm not sure if the pictures show up that way or not.

Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 12:15am
Adele's picture
Joined: 01/31/2005 - 09:00

I agree with Annamarie. Can you print out the 'In Memory' thread and give it to him? It's sobering - especially with the photos of the kids.

Posted on: Mon, 06/12/2006 - 6:40am
perpetually perplexed's picture
Joined: 02/12/2005 - 09:00

Great suggestion to show that video. I would also ask fil to "come along and help" with the next visit to the allergist. You might just want to schedule a checkup (whether he needs it or not) and have both in laws there for the consult. I would do something like this due to the closeness of the families. Sooner they are educated the better. Also, it has been my experience that some older folks are quite stubborn and will not listen to anyone but a doctor.

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 12:02pm
qdebbie1's picture
Joined: 02/10/2005 - 09:00

yes they are poison!
Keep communication open, it sounds like they are willing to "get it"

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 1:07pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

for the athlete at our gym who ate a bake sale "choc. chip cookie" (which was actually a pb cookie with choc chips in it) recently, it was poison.
he nearly lost his life because his mother assumed the bakesale cookies were "safe" similar to what your fil was suggesting you do.
i'm sure your fil was not intending to be unkind but it's always better to be safe than sorry.
i still deal with this with my husband who is constantly giving me the "look" when i politely refuse food items for my kids from friends, neighbors, restaurants etc. it's probably something most of us here deal with.
if we're not sure, we don't eat it.

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 1:22pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

i was referring to me and my children when i said "we" in the previous post. as i reread it, it seemed i was speaking for everyone here.

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 1:24pm
becca's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Good point joeybeth. You reminded me of a time when I started adding 1/2 PB and 1/2 butter to my regular Toll House Cookie recipe. LOL, John Travolta mentioned doing that, while on Oprah. But I thought, "Oh, how yummy!" Did it the next few times I made the cookies.
I was likely nursing dd at the time, if I had the time to be home watching Oprah. So, I soon must have figured out the allergy and stopped using peanutty stuff(and nuts) in my baking. After eating PB all the time while pg and nursing.
However, I mean to illustrate a point that you *never know* what might be in a baked good. Had I brought those cookies somewhere, folks would have thought them to be "my usual" and never suspected peanuts. And, silly me at the time, was totally ignorant of peanut allergy as well. I never would have thought to mention it until after some compliments.
You never know what people will put into food. Maybe you can show this to your FIL, from a PA mom who did sneak peanuts in as a secret ingredient a few times.
I never let my dd have anything baked by someone else. One exception has been a friend who called for a recipe for a cake for my dd and another with the same allergies attending a party at her home. becca

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 1:45pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

besides hidden ingrediets (like pb), we've also had neighbors, husband's coworkers, and even family bring homebaked goodies in which they had "picked off" the peanuts/nuts especially for our girls. yikes! people just don't always understand...even the well-intentioned ones.
when one particular relative was alive, she always made a choc sheet cake in which half was covered in chopped nuts and half was not. she never could understand why the girls couldn't have a bite from "their side." after all, she went to such trouble. : )
(i'm only being sarcastic because she honestly had been told a hundred times WHY but she didn't believe what i told her. in her mind, i was just not letting them have her fabulous cake because i enjoyed depriving my children).
then there are those folks that think having a peanut allergy means you cannot have actual peanuts.......but peanut butter is somehow okay. (i swear this has happened to us on more than one occasion). you just never know how informed some people are or are not.
homebaked goods that are not baked by me or in front of me rarely will enter my kids' mouths. if i know the cook and the cook knows our situation in detail, the full ingedient list and what else was in the kitchen at the time of preparation i MIGHT let my kids eat. it's always my call though.

Posted on: Sun, 06/11/2006 - 1:51pm
starlight's picture
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

I know it's not the medical facts you're looking for, but have you shown him the "in memory" thread?


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