Hmm, my husband is definitely not as "on the ball" as I am. But I'm sure the reason for that is that I read at this site every day and he doesn't.
I got in a really morbid mood before Christmas and started quizzing him about stuff ... the "what-would-happen-if-I-were-gone???" questions. It was scary ....
I know that he would step up to the plate if it were necessary, though. It's only because I enable him to slack off when he does. (That's NOT a slam against him, believe it or not!)
I'd say this is for ALL aspects of the children's lives, the household responsibilities (i.e. mortgage and bills -- "What's that??" he says), and general day-to-day stuff. He's well aware that life would go to hell in a handbasket if he didn't have someone taking care of him. That's as close as we come to the word "gratitude" in OUR house!!! LOL

My hubby isn't nearly as careful as I am. A couple of weeks ago he came home with donuts, when I said our son couldn't have any he argued with me in front of our son, and then told him to try a bite and see if anything happened. Then he argued with me about letting our son eat at Dairy Queen. He doesn't understand the allergy nearly as well as I do and he did not see the last anaphylactic reaction that I thought was going to end our sons life.
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Cynde

I'm definitely the more diligent one. Dh is great in restaurants, 50/50 with the shopping -label reading ( at least he does some of the shopping).
I deal with school issues/play dates/sunday school snacks/ex. curricular activities and lately with a houseguest who "doesn't get it".
Over Xmas we had a box of gifts/clothes/candy arrive from Japan. A note from the sender ( a Doctor) said the candy is peanut free - Safe for your son" I questioned it- being from a foreign country.
DH said "As long as Dr. ... says its okay, its fine by me"... and has given them to him on occasion.
Our houseguest today translated some of the candy sent.
The apparently safe "Beyblade candy" has Hazelnuts listed in the ingred. DS is allergic to Hazelnuts - and luckily had no reaction.
AAARRGGHH!
DH was shocked when we told him tonight, but I'll still the be "diligent" one.
Take care.... mae [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by mae (edited January 17, 2003).]

My husband is not as diligent as me, but I am the obsessed one! He actually brings me back to reality! He still eats peanuts and washes face, hands and mouth thoroughly but it still makes me angry. I tell him that I can't take him on as well as worrying about Coop. He has gotten better about the epipen..but it is now habit for me to remind him. The thing that got him to be more responsible was me reminding him that he is modeling behavior, if Cooper sees him blowing it off then he is more likely to do the same when it becomes more of his responsibility. My goal is that carrying his medicine is just second nature...so far, so good. Every age is a milestone, Coop will start preschool next year which will be a new set of worries.

I think that generally speaking, it has a lot to do with the difference between men and women. Woman are the anticipators. We search to the future and look for clues in the 'now' to anticipate the dangers ahead. We're more likely to notice all the little possible peanut traces.
Men are the 'now' guys. They deal with what is in front of their faces at the moment. A reaction has less reality for them unless they see it with their own eyes, it's a big one, and affects them directly. That's not to say that they cannot be on the ball when coming from this perspective, but it is more challenging.
Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but in general this is how we seem to have evolved.

We both have the same views on peanut allergy management in our home and elsewhere, but that's not to say we don't argue on how a situation should be handled here and there. We're on the same wavelength, though, and are pretty conservative.