In Good Hands.

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 6:54am
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What role, if any does faith play for you in "living with Peanut Allergy"?

[b]Psalm 91[/b]

[i]11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. [/i]

for me, I can't live without it. No matter how much I [i]micromanage[/i]. Research. Plan. Worry. Get angry. Debate. No matter whom I enlist or enlist with. No matter how [i]well[/i] I feel I've done.

At some point, *I* realize not everything is in my hands.

How about you?

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 7:19am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]What role, if any does faith play for you in "living with Peanut Allergy"?
[b]Psalm 91[/b]
[i]11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. [/i]
for me, I can't live without it. No matter how much I [i]micromanage[/i]. Research. Plan. Worry. Get angry. Debate. No matter whom I enlist or enlist with. No matter how [i]well[/i] I feel I've done.
At some point, *I* realize not everything is in my hands.
How about you?[/b]
I would have to say that faith plays a great deal in every aspect of my life. But by that I probably mean something much different than most folk.
Going out on a limb here, but yes I would agree that not everything is in my hands. But then I would also say that DS' PA is also not in God's hands either, in the sense that God is controlling DS' PA (to clarify: I do not believe God is controlling DS' PA).
It's in God's hands in that God is embracing DS throughout every step, holding DS, no matter what happens. But my understanding of God is not one where God decides outcomes and causes them. My understanding of God is not of God "out there somewhere at all" causing things in here but is more, as Tillich would say, a "ground of being." This is not new stuff--it's neo-orthodoxy.
I had a nephew who died of leukemia. He was six and was diagnosed when he was four. People used to tell me that we just needed to pray harder. Like if we just prayed harder God would take this horrible thing away. And they would talk about how God caused this. And how God "took him home." I don't believe any of that. I believe God was with him and us every single beautiful and painful moment holding us up and embracing us. But God didn't put the leukemia there.
And he didn't put the PA there--a much, much better thing than leukemia any day.
About Psalm 91? I love that psalm. DH and I sing hymns to DS every night at bedtime, and one that I sing every few weeks or so is "On Eagles Wings" based on that psalm. I typically sing more traditional hymns, but Psalm 91 is special to me.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited January 24, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 7:29am
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Thanks to my...experiences (thinking about Mom who knows my username *sigh*) I am definitely non-Christian.
Nothing wrong with it for others, I understand that many derive enormous comfort in same, just not for me, thanks for not trying to convert me, this is not an uninformed choice, KWIM? (I know that prosetylization is part and parcel of evangelical faith, and frankly, relations within my family would be much simpler if it weren't.) What ticks me off is the notion that I need saving in order to be whole or "good" somehow. Prosetylization of those who have other faiths is just plain disrespectful. (vent having to do with family situation over)
I am a Taoist and I think I would categorize my husband as a Deist. (This line of thought is also referred to as "God as master watchmaker.")
Spirituality is a marvelous thing. But I don't feel that has much to do with religious "faith," necessarily. I am glad that I was raised on religious diversity and with avid curiousity since that gave me a great foundation for making an informed choice, BTW. We intend to do likewise with our child.
I don't find that I personally get a lot of comfort from a spiritual sense of "letting go and letting God" though I am very familiar with that, as my mother certainly does. I am more like my Dad's family-- none of whom have ever been able to derive comfort in it. I find my brain picks at the innate inconsistancies in faith-based understanding of things-- it chafes my brain.
Do I think there is some "big plan?" No I don't. I could be a deist, but I don't see any reason for that either. I do think that it is all too complicated for ME personally to see and understand all the connections that exist and drive things that happen. (It's a big old goofy world, in other words!)
The taoist line of thought here is that anything you have to truly STRUGGLE at is NOT supposed to be happening, and won't be sustainable. Balance, and the natural flow of things is the route to contentment. I am under no illusions that I have control-- even if I don't necessarily think that anyone else does either!
I can let go rationally if I recognize that they either cannot be changed or cannot be changed by my own actions. I control only me, in other words. I don't need a god in order to have that sense of peace. But I have no problem with those who do have that kind of spirituality.
What matters is that you have some worldview that matters to YOU and gives YOU peace.
I don't think that either of us finds our faith much help in dealing with PA, but it is hard to say for sure. Not directly, the way a Christian belief works, I think. Indirectly, however, tao dictates how I deal with the situation in a more global kind of way, so yes. I experience a lot of inner tranquility and appreciation of the everyday "good things", and I like that.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I don't think Santa Claus is real either, but that doesn't keep me from enjoying Christmas celebrations with those who do. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] And I don't think less of people who choose to beleive in Santa. Wish I could sometimes, too, 'cuz it looks like a lot of fun.
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited January 24, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 8:19am
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Anonymous (not verified)

What role, if any, does faith play?
None.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 8:41am
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CSC, you stole my answer!!!
Ditto ...... None.

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 10:41am
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It plays ALOT...
I don't have to wonder about HIM, I don't have to overthink HIM. He is there, he is real and he is mine and can be yours, too...
I do tend to micromanage the allergy thing...but every once in awhile I must remind myself to Let Go and Let God. Faith/religion is not about whether it 'works' for me, it is about whether or not I work for HIM.
You know, I pray for healing and I know it will happen, I just don't know when or where. I look forward to the day I will see my relatives that have gone before me, I look forward to seeing the One that made me. I will smile and fall into His arms, I will be so happy that there will be no illness there...no cancer, no allergy. Just beautiful breath of Heaven. Hmmmmm...it relaxes me to know He is in control. So yes....as I ramble on.....faith plays alot in to living with PA (TNA).
------------------
Jill
DD, 5, TNA
DS, 18 mo. EA, MA

Posted on: Tue, 01/24/2006 - 8:56pm
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For me, I think a lot. I firmly believe there IS a divine plan.
There have been several "moments" in my life that serve as a reminder to me that there is such a plan. Remembering a time when I was 12 years old and working in my best friend's mother's deli. Half the deli was an ice cream stand and one day a customer came up to me and asked me, "Is that Butter Pecan?" It wasn't--it was Butter Almond. I was never a nut lover and really didn't know the difference between an almond and a pecan--it all tasted the same to me so I simply nodded yes.
My best friend piped up, "Oh no, that is Butter Almond, NOT Butter Pecan." I looked at her with that "Huh?!?!" expression, and she said, "X! You MUST tell customers exactly what nut is in there! Some people are very allergic to certain things and can get very sick and might have to go the hospital."
When she said that, I realized I had done something terribly wrong. Most kids would have long forgotten an incident like that, but I remember it as clearly as the day it happened. That day would come back to me, and it did--in the form of a peanut.
Just like after I had Ryan. There was a strong, nagging feeling inside me that I should resign from my job. After a two-year leave, I did resign. Good thing since I would have had an undiagnosed child with a peanut allergy in day care full time. Gosh, Ryan could have died in a situation like that. Too scary to even think about. It was another full year until we realized he had a peanut allergy.
There are many other incidents like this for me, which leads me to believe that all these things are divinely intertwined. Too much of a coincidence, IMO
Although I wouldn't wish a food allergy on anyone, it has actually greatly enriched my life.
So overall, yes, I believe we are "In Good Hands."

Posted on: Wed, 01/25/2006 - 12:00am
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I couldn't say it any better than Jill and Ryan's Mom. I agree wholeheartedly with them!
I find that I have been on a roller coaster of emotions with ds's allergies. The only thing that brings me peace and leveling-out of my emotions is knowing that my Heavenly Father is much more capable of taking care of my child than I am, even though I do all I can and know to do. He made him and He is the one who knows about what causes his body to react to what, where the allergen may be hiding, who may expose my child, etc.
I respect others who choose not to believe. However, I can't imagine going through the hardships of life without God! And I'm glad I don't have to!
------------------
Jamie - mom to:
Morgan (dd-13) - NKA
Ethan (10) - asthma, enviromental allergies
Carson (5) - PA/TNA/EA/Soy
- enviromental allergies, slight asthma?
[This message has been edited by CDMom (edited January 25, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 01/25/2006 - 1:01am
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No faith in the traditional sense. I'm not new-age either, but my mind is open to things undiscovered in the universe.
Scientists talk of parallel universes, string theory, bending or warping space and the physical rules that tie our universe together. I am in awe of the possibiities that our small brains can't even conceive.
So who am I to say that this is all there is?

Posted on: Wed, 01/25/2006 - 6:50am
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Quote:Originally posted by Adele:
[b]Scientists talk of parallel universes, string theory, bending or warping space and the physical rules that tie our universe together. I am in awe of the possibiities that our small brains can't even conceive.
[/b]
I absolutely believe in this above paragraph. This is quantum physics. We can only understand and comprehend a certain number of dimensions. Beyond that, anything is possible.

Posted on: Thu, 01/26/2006 - 6:49am
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I have a feeling that Psalm 91 is not the same as what Im thinking of, IRT Psalm 69.
Though Jesus build my hotrod... vroom vroom
Jason
------------------
[b]* Obsessed * [/b]

Posted on: Thu, 01/26/2006 - 1:43pm
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Anonymous (not verified)

Jason, you already know Jesus built my hotrod as well, but that has nothing to do with PA for me. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]
Sorry, it was [url="http://www.ministrymusic.org"]www.ministrymusic.org[/url]
I better check - heaven knows what I've just done! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."
[This message has been edited by csc (edited January 26, 2006).]

Posted on: Thu, 01/26/2006 - 1:47pm
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However, despite bantering with Jason, I find this an interesting question.
You know what I also find interesting - it's never been asked before that I can remember.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."

Posted on: Thu, 01/26/2006 - 11:10pm
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Quote:Originally posted by csc:
[b]However, despite bantering with Jason, I find this an interesting question.[/b]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]
Quote:[b]You know what I also find interesting - it's never been asked before that I can remember.[/b]
lol. then that's just me all over again, isn't it? I mean, always asking questions. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 01/27/2006 - 12:35am
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Momma Bear, I absolutely LOVE it when I see a question raised here that has not been raised before. I mean, something *new* to talk about. Also, especially, if it wasn't one raised by me! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."

Posted on: Fri, 01/27/2006 - 2:05am
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At some point, *I* realize not everything is in my hands.
How about you?
In Good Hands.
Yes
------------------
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Mon, 03/13/2006 - 11:49pm
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My daughter was just diagnosed with PA a few months ago, and I am a christian. My faith is the only thing that gets me through ANYTHING. I always remember that GOD IS GOOD. He is in control of everything, he loves us and everything he does ( or allows) is for a purpose. I may not understand that purpose now, or ever, but he has a greater good in mind.
Sickness comes to everyone. Its a part of life. "rain falls on the good and bad" It doesn't matter if you're a christian or not, if you read the bible everyday or if you tithe or pray as much as your neighbor. bad stuff will happen. But because I understand that God loves my daughter, I know that he's with her all the time. He's with her when I'm not there, he's with her when she's healthy, and he's with her when she's having a reaction. So she has a PA, big deal. Some people have cancer.....some people have acne. Its just an obstacle that she has to deal with in her life. But it will make her a strong woman one day, the strong woman that God intended her to be. And who knows, maybe she'll be able to help others because of what she's gone through.
I'm not being blase or trite about PA, I know its dangerous. I take all the precautions, I overprotect, I nag others. It would be irresponsible and foolish of me not to. God can heal my daughter, but until that happens, I need to safeguard her health. Medicine, doctors, labeling...... they are all necessary. But in the end....what God wants to happen will happen.
I was sexually abused as a young girl by my father and brother. God healed me of the pain and shame. So I know about how God refines and strengthens us. I had postpartum depression after my last two children and I'm currently taking medication. I've been dealing with it for nearly 3 years, but I never seeked treatment because I wanted to deny,deny, deny that I had a problem. But I do. I have an imblance that I need to take medicine for. Depression sucks, sex abuse sucks, PA sucks. They are hard to deal with, and sometimes I wish they weren't a part of our lives. But I won't be able to get to the place in my life where God wants me, I won't be able to become the better person that God wants me to be without going through hardship. Its hard to go through bad things, but everyone will. Just remember that God loves you. He's with you all the time. Good times and bad times, holding your hand and carrying you. Try to see that even when you can't feel it.
I can look back at some really ugly times in my life and see how God moved in my life to help me.
If you're not a Christian, you're not going to understand. And since you think I'm misguided in my belief of God then my post won't matter to you. But I know that God loves us all, and wants the best for all of us.

Posted on: Tue, 03/14/2006 - 3:03am
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Hi Stephi!
I really liked your post. I understand what you are saying.
I am sorry for what you have gone through and what you are going through but I do know that God is good and He will be faithful to you. What that means for right now I don't know. But I know He loves you and His promises are true. That He will never leave you and that His plans for you are a future and a hope.
Life is hard and regardless of what any of us believe it is still hard. I find comfort, strength, hope and peace in knowing that I have a God that is here with me and knows me and loves me regardless of what I did or didn't do. And I am so thankful that my little dd (5) knows that God is with her too. Even when she has had her worst reactions she knows that God is always by her side, holding her hand and watching over her. There is peace in that.
None of us know what will happen today or tommorrow but I can trust and rest in knowing that no matter what God is with us. My dd tells me all the time God is watching over us.
The great part is when we leave our journey here we get to be whole and perfect and be in the most wonderful place. So- weary traveler hang on, the journey's end is a beautiful place. See you there!
Take Care
toomanynuts

Posted on: Tue, 03/14/2006 - 7:41am
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Quote:Originally posted by stephi13339:
[b]If you're not a Christian, you're not going to understand. And since you think I'm misguided in my belief of God then my post won't matter to you. But I know that God loves us all, and wants the best for all of us. [/b]
Who ever said anything about "misguided??" Wow.
On the contrary; I am very glad that your faith has been a great comfort to you. You have clearly derived a lot of benefit from the peace you have gained. That is beautiful no matter what its source. What you believe doesn't offend me. Why would it, really.... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/confused.gif[/img]
I don't know why you would think that someone who doesn't share your particular beliefs wouldn't understand how you see your life's course. Don't sell yourself short like that. It was quite clear that you understand events to be part of a greater purpose in your life. You were quite articulate about it! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I don't interpret my life in the same way, but we can all relate to being in the right place at the right time because of earlier events in our lives.
Anyway, I didn't want to let that go. You seemed to feel like you might be attacked or mocked for feeling the way you do. I am personally very intolerant of faith being used in a divisive manner. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] Just seems too much like nasty junior high cliques to me. (shrug)
So for whatever it is worth,
I've been on these boards for many years and never, ever observed anyone being disrespectful of anyone else's faith or belief system.
(Quite the variety is represented, BTW.)
edited to fix smileys
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited March 14, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 12:10am
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Thank you for not being offended.
No, really!!! I know that some people are instantly offended by Christianity (probably because of a bad experience) and I put that last paragraph in to kind of proactively defend myself and reassure others.
Christianity is about love for everyone. Some people have been hurt by comments made by Christians who were trying to "enlighten" them, and I just wanted to make it clear that I don't think I'm any better than them simply because I'm a christian. You're right, I was expecting to get attacked....... I usually do get attacked for speaking about my faith. A debate almost always occurs. A lot of people see Christianity as a religion of condemnation and that's probably the fault of christians themselves. There is right and wrong in Christianity; stuff that's considered a sin. But people forget that whether or not you're sinning is really a moot point if you're not a Christian. I mean, what do I care if it's illegal to smoke in an Irish pub if I neither smoke nor live in Ireland?! (that's probably a really stupid example but it's the only one I could think of at the moment)
Well, anyway, I LOVE this website and I appreciate how everyone can express themselves candidly without fear of judgement.

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 4:55am
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My faith in chaos confirms that my hyperallergic immune system is just the luck of the draw.
ygg

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 6:33pm
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I always find it somewhat interesting to say God will protect my child, but then read stories where other kids die of PA. What are those people to believe - that my child is the chosen one protected but for some reason God killed their children (or allowed PA to kill them?)
Rings extremely false to me and - I don't know - odd. Also insulting to the families of loved ones who have died from this allergy. Are they cursed?

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 9:44pm
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I hope that you didn't get the impression from my post that God was only protecting my child, that's definitely not what I meant. If I believed that, then following the same rationale my daughter is cursed simply because she has a PA and she's not "healthy" like other non PA kids. God is with everyone. Those with a PA and those without a PA. He's with them when they are having a rxn and when they are not. As far as those children that have died from PA....... I really don't want to say anything about that. Those families are going through so much that I couldn't even attempt to understand. I wouldn't want to trivialize what their child's life or death meant with my ramblings of my belief.
It's heartbreaking that children have to go through bad things.... in my other post I mentioned that I went through some rough times as a child. It took me a long time, and a lot of pain to realize that God didn't curse me or hate me because that happened in my life. He loved me and he was pained to see me go through that. I understand it's a paradox.... God loves me but allows me to go through pain. Its a hard concept to grasp, it took me a long time to wrap my little brain around it. And I don't know that I really truly have yet. The only way that I'm able to understand it is that I went through bad things, but everyone does. In the bible it doesn't promise you a life of perfection, on the contrary, it pretty much says that you can count on rough things happening. But they happen for a reason, and we might never know what that reason is. That's where faith comes in. I have to believe that God loves me and wants the absolute best for me (and my daughter, and my family, and my neighbor, and the victims on the news and the stranger walking down the road...............) even when he's allowing awful, gut-wrenching things to happen to me. It might seem like blind faith and it kinda is but it kinda isn't. Because sometimes in the middle of a crisis or sometimes not until years after a crisis God will show me how good and wonderful things came about as a direct result of that crisis that originally seemed like plain cruelety. (sp?)
As a parent maybe you can understand how you have to get your child tested for allergies. Your child sees that you are driving him to the doctor, that you are paying the doctor to poke him full of needles. to put him through pain. But you as his father or mother realize that this test is for his greater good. That through this test, even though its painful for him in this moment, he will know what he's strong enough to handle and will in the end probably save his life. So if you look at our life trials as a skin prick test to save us from other things....... stupid example probably but I tend to ramble!

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 10:22pm
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Quote:Originally posted by Christabelle:
[b]I always find it somewhat interesting to say God will protect my child, but then read stories where other kids die of PA. What are those people to believe - that my child is the chosen one protected but for some reason God killed their children (or allowed PA to kill them?)
Rings extremely false to me and - I don't know - odd. Also insulting to the families of loved ones who have died from this allergy. Are they cursed?[/b]
then is God cursed too? (I mean, he willingly gave His only Son for man.)
I'll tell you what I find "odd". People's take on my faith. I don't know where they are getting their interpretation. Read Genesis 22. Abraham, Isaac, I mean.
I mean, I'm here for God's purpose. That said, Genesis 22 is said to be "the old-testament God". That said, I know my God is [i]unchanging[/i].
Now, *that said*, God did provide a sacrifice, I mean, not the Ram. So I guess I find it "odd" when people question *my* faith in a way that really doesn't seem pertinent *to my faith*. KWIM? It's like: Well, are you talking about a different faith?? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I mean, a humanistic perspective?

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 10:32pm
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I get what you mean mommabear. Jesus took the punishment for all our suffering...so if he sufferred then is he cursed? "blessed are the poor in spirit.......blessed are those who mourn" Those who have trials come into their life are not cursed these are BLESSED!

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 11:03pm
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I have to say this, it's eating at me. Do people really think that Christians are so cruel and heartless that we would actually believe in a faith that would curse children like that? No, we wouldn't, because our faith isn't like that! All children, all people are "protected" and loved by God. being "protected" doesn't mean that bad things won't happen to our kids, that is a big misunderstanding.
You have to realize that our faith is based on what the bible says, not human understanding or what some crazy christian said to you once. I mean really...... have you ever met someone in you life that was so awful as to think that their child should live and yours should die? Do you think that we sit around Sunday morning praying for the death of children as we drink blood and dance naked? Beacuse I want to have hope for my child (and yours to by the way)I'm odd?

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 11:32pm
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Quote:Originally posted by stephi13339:
[b]I have to say this, it's eating at me. Do people really think that Christians are so cruel and heartless that we would actually believe in a faith that would curse children like that? [/b]
maybe they'd like to think that. I've been amazed that some people of some of faiths that claim to be the most "open-minded" seem to relish demonizing Christianity. Or at least stereotyping it.
edit to add: "some" I wouldn't want to lump everyone together.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited March 16, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 03/15/2006 - 11:42pm
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true, true, true! There are so many different sects, denominations and interpretations of Christianity yet everyone seems to believe we are all like the angry, shouting "you are damned and cursed." You so often hear non-Muslims defend muslims saying they are not all terrorists, just the radicals. Well, the same is true for Christians. But because we are the supposed "majority" its okay to attack and make fun of our faith? I wonder when was the last time she called muslim, taoism or atheism odd? You can always find an extremist in any religion that will spout off garbage and make the whole group seem crazy. But people only want to apply that principle to other religions but not to Christianity.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 12:42am
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Quote:Originally posted by krasota:
[b]My faith in chaos confirms that my hyperallergic immune system is just the luck of the draw.
ygg[/b]
Ditto!

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 1:38am
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[b] Do you think that we sit around Sunday morning praying for the death of children as we drink blood and dance naked?[/b]
Don't you have that backward? Isn't that what those 'with' think of those of us 'without'?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:02am
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no I don't. If you tell me that you're not a christian then I think ......... you're not a Christian. Well, guess what, I wasn't always a christian. I don't make judgements about who you are or what you do or how you think. If you tell me those things, then I may not agree with them, but you may not agree with me either. So what? do I want you to be a christian? yes! will I pray for you? yes! (I might even "preach" to you but I bet you'll try to preach to me to [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:11am
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For us, faith in Jesus plays into everything. Every day in I literally place my daughter into His hands and pray for her protection. Every night we thank God for protecting her throughout the day.
By trusting in God I am able to have peace of mind that He is in control of each of our lives and has a plan for our lives too.I know He has a reason why Emma has PA...sometimes I think it is because it will be kind of like a "thorn in the flesh" so that she will always be dependent on God.
God has been so faithful to us over the years that there is no way that I could even think of not trusting in His goodness and love. Yes there are times I worry a lot but I repeat that verse in my head.."do not worry about anything instead pray about everything and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds though Christ Jesus."
Shelley

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:34am
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[b]will I pray for you? yes! (I might even "preach" to you but I bet you'll try to preach to me to ) [/b]
And I see this as part of the crux of the matter. What if I don't want you to pray for me? Clearly you can - free society, but what if I don't? And yes, I could preach to you, but usually I don't start religious conversations. I'll engage in them if already started, but I don't feel the need to talk about my personal philosophy in a preaching way. What I find interesting is how it appears as though some of those with faith have a need to preach to those who don't believe. Why is that? See you believe what you want to believe, I don't believe what you want to believe, and I'm okay with that. I am not going to try and convince you otherwise, though I think the same could not be said in a reciprocal way, in many instances.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:47am
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I probably have a slightly different take on faith than many people. On those few occasions where I am truly able to completely quiet my mind and just feel the world around me, I can definitely feel something, like threads coursing through all things and binding them together. You know how tiny looking up at a clear night sky can make you feel? Well, feeling like a tiny little thread in an infinite tapestry feels kind of the same way.
Sometimes I imagine that all the different things that happen to people are represented by different colors. So if say red stood for violence, it might feel really horrible to be a red thread. But if you could somehow get a view of the entire tapestry, you might understand how the red is an integral part of the pattern, and how in the end it adds to the beauty of the whole. Does that make any sense? A spot that looks extremely ugly on its own might seem perfect when viewed as part of a larger pattern.
Now, I'm not saying that I believe I'm just a thread being yanked around by some sort of cosmic weaver, because I don't. But I do believe that I am guided. How my thread interacts with the threads around me depends upon the choices I make. The overall tapestry may be someone else's design, but I definitely have a say in my own little area of it, KWIM?
Right now, we are losing my MIL to a brain tumor. It's so hard not to get focused on the "unfairness" of it. But life isn't really about fair or unfair. It just is. All we can do is accept what we are given and do the very best we can with what we have. And I truly believe that if a person listens to their heart, they are constantly being provided with choices and options to help them find their way.
Oops, that was rather lengthier than I intended. I would just like to add that I don't personally feel that a person should ever be judged based on what they believe. Belief is highly personally and unique to each individual, based on their background and experience. A person should only be judged by their ACTIONS. (sorry, meekly stepping off soap box now...)
LOL - okay shutting up now...

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:52am
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b][b]will I pray for you? yes! (I might even "preach" to you but I bet you'll try to preach to me to ) [/b]
And I see this as part of the crux of the matter. What if I don't want you to pray for me? Clearly you can - free society, but what if I don't? And yes, I could preach to you, but usually I don't start religious conversations. I'll engage in them if already started, but I don't feel the need to talk about my personal philosophy in a preaching way. What I find interesting is how it appears as though some of those with faith have a need to preach to those who don't believe. Why is that? See you believe what you want to believe, I don't believe what you want to believe, and I'm okay with that. I am not going to try and convince you otherwise, though I think the same could not be said in a reciprocal way, in many instances.[/b]
thou doest prea....I mean, [i]protest[/i] too much.
are you saying you'd like to control the thoughts of others? (very extremist to *me*) If she wants to pray for you, what right do you have to persecute her for doing so?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 2:54am
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b] Do you think that we sit around Sunday morning praying for the death of children as we drink blood and dance naked?[/b]
Don't you have that backward? Isn't that what those 'with' think of those of us 'without'?
stereotype. broad sweeping generalization. Maybe wishful thinking to. Whatever gets you through I mean. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 3:02am
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My issues with threads like this--and conversations in life like this--are that Christians tend to get lumped into one group and those who aren't into another.
I'm a Christian, but my beliefs clearly aren't in line with most of those in this thread who are also Christian.
I do not believe God had a thing to do with my son's PA, and it's not my faith that get's me through his PA, as in I ultimately have to trust that God will take care of him.
I tend to be more liberal in my theology.
I don't believe that God puts these things in our lives, causes these things to happen. I do not believe that God works in the world this way. I think God is way bigger than that. I do believe that God IS changing, that God is affected by the world (process theology). That God weeps with us, embraces us, gets angry, too.
If God caused the PA, then God would have caused my nephew's leukemia, which is a lot worse. And he died from that at age 6. From age 4 to age 6 he knew extremely little joy and an incredible amount of pain. Would God have caused that? There's no anesthesia for back sticks (spinal taps) and leg sticks (similar prods into the femur) which he had to have on a regular basis. There's nothing but fear when on one of the few days he was able to go to kindegarten some older kids tried to pull out his Hickman line. No, God did not cause that. That would be pretty mean. Not worthy of worship.
You know that other thread--the one that should be on OT and I think isn't, that starts off with the 9/11 story about how certain people were saved because they stopped off and did something--and it was all God's doing? What a sick interpretation of God. So God saved those few but not the rest? I just can't believe folks could beleive that.
But that's the logical extension of the kind of thinking that God put PA in our children for a reason.
I think God's got much bigger stuff to deal with.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 3:41am
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[b]are you saying you'd like to control the thoughts of others? (very extremist to *me*) If she wants to pray for you, what right do you have to persecute her for doing so? [/b]
Ummm, no. Did you read my post? She can pray for me if she likes, though what if, being a non-believer I didn't want to be associated with the religion that was behind the prayer? I mean, if the nexis of the prayer comes from something I don't believe, and someone else knows I don't believe in it, why can't my non-belief be respected enough, such that someone wouldn't bring me into their belief system at all -- ergo a prayer? Does that make sense? She has every right to pray for me, with respect to free-will. Clearly I'm not going to try and tell her what to think, feel, say, do, etc. She can do what she likes. However, why not give me the choice about having someone else pray for me? I mean, if someone said they were going to pray for me, shouldn't I then have a say as to what I feel it should be about? Are they going to pray for me, with the content of the prayer being based on a judgement they have made about what needs to be prayed for in my life, as opposed to what I think needs to be prayed for in my own life, right?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:15am
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[i][b]are you saying you'd like to control the thoughts of others? (very extremist to *me*) If she wants to pray for you, what right do you have to persecute her for doing so? [/b]
Ummm, no. Did you read my post? She can pray for me if she likes, though what if, being a non-believer I didn't want to be associated with the religion that was behind the prayer? I mean, if the nexis of the prayer comes from something I don't believe, and someone else knows I don't believe in it, why can't my non-belief be respected enough, such that someone wouldn't bring me into their belief system at all -- ergo a prayer? Does that make sense? She has every right to pray for me, with respect to free-will. Clearly I'm not going to try and tell her what to think, feel, say, do, etc. She can do what she likes. However, why not give me the choice about having someone else pray for me? I mean, if someone said they were going to pray for me, shouldn't I then have a say as to what I feel it should be about? Are they going to pray for me, with the content of the prayer being based on a judgement they have made about what needs to be prayed for in my life, as opposed to what I think needs to be prayed for in my own life, right?
[/i]
I'm not buying it. What you're preaching to me. I mean, if it's not your belief system, how, from your perspective, should it, according to your belief system (or absence of one) affect you? Or is this just vitriol spewing forth? (talk about reciprocity, Do you think anyone identifying with the Christian faith in any manner would be afforded the same opportunity to expound they find it offensive for others of different faiths praying for them, without being vilified?
There's a whole world of belief out there thinking 24/7, but I'm not calculating whether it's about me or not. Let alone focusing on one in particular. Or one person praying within that belief system for that matter.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:19am
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Its a sticky situation. You're right, I do have free speech and freedom of religion. I can pray whenever and wherever I want to. I pray all the time in public but usually quietly in the privacy of my own head because that's what I need. When it comes to praying for someone...like we're talking and they mention a problem....I ask them before I pray. (I'm talking about out loud- lay my hand on them)Actaully, no one has ever told me no. If they did, I'd be okay with that. But I'd pray for them later. (if I remembered [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]) I have to. It's part of the practice of Christianity. We are supposed to seek God's help, pray to him constantly instead of worrying. If it irks you thinking that I might be sitting here in front of my computer praying for you, I'm sorry. But I can't stop practicing my faith to make you feel better. I don't mean that in a rude way, really. I understand your position. I would be uncomfortable with the idea of a Satanic worshiper praying for me. (not that I'm comparing you to that!) But there are allowed to just as much as I am.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:44am
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I do believe there is a difference from religion and relationship.
Religion to me means going to church, following rules/regulations assigned by that specific minister/church.
Relationship means one on one, loved and accepted just the way you are.
Most people don't want to believe in religion but I believe all of us want a relationship whether it is with God or another Higher Power.
Something individual and real to each of us in our own way.
Religion is just religion. I don't see God in religion just a lot of people doing or saying what they see their so called Pastor, Leader, Minister whomever,... does or says.
That is not a relationship.
I believe that God - the Creator of this world and each of us, loves us all. Regardless of what we do or don't believe. Loves us whether we are sick or well, happy or sad. Loves us, care for us and watches over each of us.
The challenge here is that the bad things that happen to each of us is because of the world that we live in. Not because of God. He wants the best for each of us. Each person has a free will and we are not robots so good and bad things happen. Regardless, of who we believe in or what we do or don't do. The sun rises and sets on us all and good and bad happen to each of us.
The good news is for those who have a personal relationship with God have the peace of knowing that in any situation we are in that we are loved and that after our final journey here we continue on to another place where the is no longer death, tears, sadness, and the cruelty of this world.
We know that God hears us when we pray and have the faith of knowing He is with us.
If you don't have a relationship you wouldn't feel that way but it doesn't mean that God isn't right there.
It is just like 2 children one is very close to the parents and wants to have a very close relationship, the other would rather be on its own listening to the parents and following the rules but not having a close relationship. As parents you do the same thing with the first child as the second but because of who they are that is what they want and you respect it but you love both children and do the same for the both of them just one has the relationship the other doesn't.
God respects us and our desires and never forces himself on anyone. He is just there. Open for a relationship if you want it. To have the relationship of course offers more than if you don't. But it doesn't mean that God doesn't love you.
In regards to people dying children and adults I think that is just a part of living. Not God favoring one over the other. We have had great losses and tradegies in our family but God is still there. We trust him and know that He loves us.
When dd or myself have had a reaction we just know that God is with us whether we live or die God is still with us and that is our comfort.
Death is sad and final but it is not the end if we have a relationship with God. It just gets better from here on out.
Seeing the tradegies of this world breaks
Gods Heart. Just as much as it breaks ours.
All I can pray is for God to bring peace and to protect us while we wait for His return.
Take Care
toomanynuts

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:46am
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Mommabear, do you really think I'm preaching? I don't even think I've edged close to the soap box I'd stand on if I were really going to let loose.
[b]Its a sticky situation. You're right, I do have free speech and freedom of religion. I can pray whenever and wherever I want to. I pray all the time in public but usually quietly in the privacy of my own head because that's what I need.[/b]
I agree with this part.
[b] When it comes to praying for someone...like we're talking and they mention a problem....I ask them before I pray. (I'm talking about out loud- lay my hand on them)Actaully, no one has ever told me no. If they did, I'd be okay with that. But I'd pray for them later. (if I remembered ) I have to.[/b]
Here is the part I don't get. If a person said no, why can't you respect that? Isn't part of the teaching that would be espoused by Christianity, or other religions, include respecting other people? If you ask, you are giving them the choice -- but then by still going ahead, even later, it is disrespectful in my opinion. Why not just say I'm going to pray for you whether you like it or not, whether you want me to or not, and I don't care what your wishes are?
[b]It's part of the practice of Christianity. We are supposed to seek God's help, pray to him constantly instead of worrying.[/b]
Are you supposed to seek it for other people though? Or rather, why are you compelled to seek it for other people when they have asked to be left out of it?
[b]If it irks you thinking that I might be sitting here in front of my computer praying for you, I'm sorry. But I can't stop practicing my faith to make you feel better. I don't mean that in a rude way, really. I understand your position. I would be uncomfortable with the idea of a Satanic worshiper praying for me. (not that I'm comparing you to that!) But there are allowed to just as much as I am.[/b]
It doesn't irk me to think that someone is praying for me. I think it is odd, frankly. Especially if I requested that they not do it. It is odd to me that practising ones faith means infringing on someone else's right not to. Oh, and I don't think you are rude either. But, btw, how would you feel if a Satan worshipper said they were going to pray for you even after you mentioned your discomfort with the idea?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:58am
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Quote:Originally posted by stephi13339:
[b] I would be uncomfortable with the idea of a Satanic worshiper praying for me. [/b]
why? To me, it's inconsequential. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
It is said he walks the earth as a ravenous lion seeking whom he may devour. This is a given. I'm bought. I'm paid for. I'm redeemed. With a price.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 4:58am
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Mccobre- I totally get what you're saying and understand your point of view. Whether the right thinking is that he puts sickness in our lives on purpose or simply allows it, I don't really know. Considering what your family has been through, I understand your view. But God is definitely interested in every little aspect of our lives. From PA to how many hairs are on our head. And every little thing is used to fullfill His plan. Whether he caused it, allowed it, if it was genetics or someone's act of free will. I had this dilema when my depression kept coming back. You see, I got very suicidal. And my thinking was "why would he let this keep coming back into my life? does he want me dead? am I that bad? does he hate me?" Well, whether he caused it or it was just brain chemistry, he did allow it. He plays a role in everything we do, even PA. But I don't think its that big a deal if we differ over our opinions of what his intentions were or weren't.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 5:04am
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
Mommabear, do you really think I'm preaching? I don't even think I've edged close to the soap box I'd stand on if I were really going to let loose.
[b]Its a sticky situation. You're right, I do have free speech and freedom of religion. I can pray whenever and wherever I want to. I pray all the time in public but usually quietly in the privacy of my own head because that's what I need.[/b]
I agree with this part.
[b] When it comes to praying for someone...like we're talking and they mention a problem....I ask them before I pray. (I'm talking about out loud- lay my hand on them)Actaully, no one has ever told me no. If they did, I'd be okay with that. But I'd pray for them later. (if I remembered ) I have to.[/b]
Here is the part I don't get. If a person said no, why can't you respect that? Isn't part of the teaching that would be espoused by Christianity, or other religions, include respecting other people? If you ask, you are giving them the choice -- but then by still going ahead, even later, it is disrespectful in my opinion. Why not just say I'm going to pray for you whether you like it or not, whether you want me to or not, and I don't care what your wishes are?
[b]It's part of the practice of Christianity. We are supposed to seek God's help, pray to him constantly instead of worrying.[/b]
Are you supposed to seek it for other people though? Or rather, why are you compelled to seek it for other people when they have asked to be left out of it?
[b]If it irks you thinking that I might be sitting here in front of my computer praying for you, I'm sorry. But I can't stop practicing my faith to make you feel better. I don't mean that in a rude way, really. I understand your position. I would be uncomfortable with the idea of a Satanic worshiper praying for me. (not that I'm comparing you to that!) But there are allowed to just as much as I am.[/b]
It doesn't irk me to think that someone is praying for me. I think it is odd, frankly. Especially if I requested that they not do it. It is odd to me that practising ones faith means infringing on someone else's right not to. Oh, and I don't think you are rude either. But, btw, how would you feel if a Satan worshipper said they were going to pray for you even after you mentioned your discomfort with the idea?
so what do you think is going to happen to you if someone with a different belief system (ergo: something you don't believe in) prays for you?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 5:21am
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ok, satanic worshipping might be a bad example. I would be uncomfortable simply because I know that Satan really exists. But in the end,I know mommabear, he really has no power. But if he wanted to, then by all means go ahead. If he didn't have the right to do so, then I wouldn't.
Being a follower of Jesus Christ doesn't mean being sweet and polite and courteous, it means following Jesus Christ. I don't think there's anything in the bible about manners.
A person of faith is faithful to their faith, not to being polite and respectful. Jesus taught us to pray for other people and for their salvation. So I follow that teaching. He also taught me to love others, and for me praying for you is an act of love. Asking me not to pray right now in front of you is a reasonable request. I'd go along with it. But asking me not to pray at all, is out of the question.
Let's say you believe in meditation. And you told me I was stressing you out so you wanted to go meditate. If I said to you "look, I'm a christian, I don't believe in meditaion, so please don't do it about me, respect me please" Would that be a reasonable request?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 6:56am
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[b]so what do you think is going to happen to you if someone with a different belief system (ergo: something you don't believe in) prays for you? [/b]
I have no idea

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 10:26am
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when I said that I would ask for pemission to pray for someone, I think you misunderstood me. I meant, pray for you here right now in front of you out loud WITH you. I do not have to ask, nor would I ask, to pray on my own. That is my business and none of yours. What I choose to pray about, whether it includes you, is totally up to me. Its my prayer. Its my conversation with God. Whether I choose to pray in public or in private, the content of my prayer is up to me and me alone.
The problem here is that you want me to respect you. I want you to respect me. I want to pray. you don't want me to pray. You want me to respect your wishes that I don't pray. I want you to respect my wishes that I do pray. Plain and simple, it can't be solved. Like polar opposites, the two rationales will never meet.
I'm not saying that being courteos and respectful isn't part of Christianity. It definitely is, "love thy neighbor." I'm saying that I'm not willing to sell out my faith ( praying) for the sake of being polite.

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 10:43am
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qvmom-
My husband just came home from class and I mentioned to him what we were talking about and some of the things you had said. Ya know what he said- " she sounds like you used to"!!!1
It's totally true, I thought the same thing myself. When I first met my now husband I was totally put off by him because he was a youth pastor and I was an agnostic. We used to have "discussions" all the time exactly like the one were having!!! Then I got saved, worked through my issue with abuse................ funny, huh?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 11:21am
gvmom's picture
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I think that is pretty funny, actually. I will tell you something that will make it even a bit more funny. My DH was raised devout Catholic - and there was a point in time, before he met me, that he contemplated becoming a priest. Now, his view point is more in line with mine. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
You know, I do understand that your prayers are yours. Whether you are asking to pray with me in person, or on your own, etc. And I do respect your right to do what your conscience guides you to do. Really, I do. There is just an honest puzzlement for me. I mean, I am trying to come up with an analogy that works -- and I really can't come up with a good one. Oh, wait, maybe. It is kind of like when your parents ask you not to have premarital sex. Well, unless you turn up pregnant or tell them, how are they to know right? You could still do whatever you wanted on your own - right? But, isn't there a part of the whole thing, that beyond the benefits of waiting, there is a certain respect extended to your parents' request. They may not be present (and that would be creepy if they were)in the moment when you choose to either engage or not engage -- but isn't there something about the request, by virtue of respect for them, that would at least make you hesitate (or feel guilty)?

Posted on: Thu, 03/16/2006 - 12:11pm
Claire's picture
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FAITH is something I totally teach my family to have. Without faith we have nothing to try for or to hold onto. Nothing wrong with the way in which anyone feels but I need my faith somedays to get me through the turmoils I come upon.
Without Faith I think I would give up and not be what we are.
Take care CLaire

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Reliable peanut allergy statistics are not that easy to come by. There is a lot of available research on food allergies in general but not too...

Most people know that to enjoy whatever food safety accommodations an airline offers they need to inform the airline of their allergy prior to...

A 504 plan* documents food allergy accommodations agreed to by parents and their child’s school. Plans are typically created during a 504 meeting...

If there is a child at your children's school allergic to peanuts, the school probably discourages or may not allow peanut products to be brought...

If you are on a budget, but you need to wear some sort of notification that you have a peanut...

Unless we consciously carve out time for self-care, constant food allergy management can slowly erode our sense of well-being. Signs of allergy-...

Peanuts cause more severe food allergic reactions than other foods, followed by shellfish, fish, tree nuts and eggs. Although there is only a...