im getting so frustrated

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 2:19am
smudgesgarden's picture
Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

i am trying to start the ball rolling on a 504 for my son for pre school in the fall.
ive been speaking to M.S. i beleive she is the coordnator of universal pre k in our school district (free prek in ny)
now this ladies "agenda" is to place my son in a diffrent school about 20 min away insted of the one we have chosen thats in our neighborhood. i am not sending him out of the neighborhood just to make ther life easier. no way.
so everytime i call and speak to her about getting the ball rolling she says something like we feel he will be better off at such and such school. and i say no i want him to go ---- do not take him off the list. this is where i want him to go. i want to start the paper work on a 504 and she says ill get back to you. and dosnt.
so i called the school today to speak to someone else. and i literally was transfered 6 times and the last person i spoke to told me that i must speak to M.S. because thats who is working with me!
the only thing this lady wants is not to have my son go to this school...
its a PUBLIC school!!!!!!!!!!!!
yesterday when speaking to this lady she let it slip that the school nurse e mailed her saying that she wants to place him else where because she cant handle another special needs kid, she actually said this to me. and i requested a copy of this e mail. thoe i dont think ill get it.

holey **** ! this whole thing dosnt make much sence. im sick and tired of getting the run around. its just a peanut allergy.
its not like hes the only person on the planet with this allergy.

i am so frustrated. i cant even speak about this without startting to cry.
my mom says i should call the principal and speak to him about how im getting the run around ...

any advice would be helpful here.


Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 2:24am
Carefulmom's picture
Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

I don`t have much advice, but wanted to say it is against the law to segregate due to disability. Making him go to a different school due to his disability is illegal. Stand your ground on this one. You are right and they are wrong. My only advice is to write a letter to the lady who is supposed to do the 504 and is trying to send him elsewhere. Send the letter certified. Hopefully that will make them realize that you are serious about this and you are not going to go away just because they do not want to deal with your child. I would move to the phase of documenting everything with a letter. Get the paper trail started. Just remember, you are right, they are wrong.

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 2:42am
smudgesgarden's picture
Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

i want to start a paper trail, so thts why i called today to find out the exact name of the person who is nin charge of handeling the 504's... and got the run around.

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 3:05am
seanmn's picture
Joined: 10/01/2003 - 09:00

If it were me, I would contact the principal. He or she has to know what is going on.
I thank God every day that the principal at my son's school is in charge of approving the 504's. It made getting it done a breeze.
Anyway, talk to the superindendent if you have to, someone will have to listen.
Good Luck,

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 3:32am
PurpleCat's picture
Joined: 01/28/2006 - 09:00

I second that - go to the principal and higher if you have too and do so in writing!
You should see better results to your request if you do so.

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 5:42am
Momcat's picture
Joined: 03/15/2005 - 09:00

One of the requirements for the school is that they have to give you the names and contact information of the people in charge of Section 504 in the district and at each school. If you request this information IN WRITING, they have to give it to you. They can't give you the runaround.
Good luck!

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 5:44am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I would definately keep track of the phone calls and all paper trails.
If you email anyone, I would CC it to the principle and superintendent. I would call the principle, but I would most certainly get prepared in contacting the Super. I wouldn't waste to much more time with that woman.
The only thing I can think of that would allow them to move your son is if the district lines change, or they are needing to fill another school that is not close to limit, but the school you are zoned for is to limit. I know this was discussed here in FL about the middele school situation. The middle schools are getting very crowded and there are older ones that are not, so they were talking about busing our kids to these other schools, even though the other (full) school is right in our neighborhood. Needless to say, everyone freaked, and they are building a new middle school right across the street from us, that will be done next year. I am just telling you this, because this is the only reason that I have heard of taking a child out of zone. I would also personally go to the school, this week, and talk to that nurse directly. Well, that is just me!
Let us know...Good Luck!
11 yr PA
8 yr TNA
3 yr PA&TNA
[This message has been edited by PA&TNA allergy mom (edited January 26, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by PA&TNA allergy mom (edited January 26, 2007).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 5:52am
smudgesgarden's picture
Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

i just lost it on the phone with the cpse guy in our district. he just told me that he does 504's all around the state and he has never done one for a pre school age kid. then he just went on and on about how he will need to be classified and blah blah blah.........
when i told him that 104.38 and 104.31 sub section d states that i can have one for pre schools and he basically told me that i cant and told me to speak to some one else.
i lost it and i started yelling at him telling him that i cant send my son to school if its not a peanut free enviroment and he told me that i would have to speak to the teacher.
but if i just have that whats stoping her or other children from bringing in peanuts into the class? whats protection my son?
ive had an "arangement" with a diffrent shcool and that didnt work at all.
im so frustrated ....

Posted on: Fri, 01/26/2007 - 6:34am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

This kind just [i]loves[/i] the telephone.... don't let them do this to you.
E-MAIL was [b]made[/b] for situations like this. Print and CC. Print and CC. Read and Print. Print. File.
And if one of [i]them[/i] calls you? "Letter of Understanding" it is called. The one that you IMMEDIATELY send back via e-mail or snail mail that says, "As per our conversation of [i]blah-blah[/i], I understood __________ . Can you please let me know if this is incorrect?"
No more fits on the phone. (Yours or thiers.)
So, via e-mail, get IN WRITING:
1. Who is my school/district 504 Coordinator?
2. Any and all policies regarding 504 process. (I couched this in terms of "wanting to be well-prepared so as to help the process run smoothly")
3. When they will be willing to meet for an eligibility meeting.
That's all you need right now. That's [i]it.[/i] DO NOT bring up accomodations until the meeting in which the plan itself will be devised. Get your physician's letter in hand, and recognize that since they have not done a FA 504 plan, they will need [i]educating[/i] on this point. Just.... [i]educating.[/i] (Don't think of it as "fighting a battle of wills.") They simply don't [i]understand[/i] yet. But they will. When you and your allergist have finished with them.
ETA: Chin up! And another tip-- if you're e-mail client has a "read-reciept" feature... [i]use it.[/i] And print those too. [img][/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited January 26, 2007).]

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 1:32am
smudgesgarden's picture
Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

corvallis mom--
thats very good advice. no more phone calls. e mail, snail mail... no more "flipping out" on my part.
i realy need to step back for a moment. i get very emotional over this. dont we all? and i need to remember when i get out of control i just sound like a crazy person not an enducated person who knows her rights and the rights of her son.
thanks again!

Posted on: Thu, 02/01/2007 - 4:32am
stephi13339's picture
Joined: 03/09/2006 - 09:00

I'm in NY too, my dd wil start preK next fall. I'm scared to death about the whole 504 process. There have been at least 2 people in the SD so far that have "survived"-- so the principal thinks they've got a handle on things. right.
just wanted to offer encouragement, and a thank you. Truly, your fight will help your PA child and other PA children. You're paving the way. keep us posted [img][/img]

Posted on: Thu, 02/01/2007 - 5:14am
camiac's picture
Joined: 01/24/2007 - 09:00

If the above recommendations don't work, try this: I used to work for an attorney, and for a very reasonable fee he would draft letters for people for different disputes.
He never once threatened legal action, he just put into words what the issue was with the other party. (I never saw one for a PA, but Im just saying..)
Anyway, people freak as soon as they see the attorney letterhead and immediately return phone calls and immediately try to "work things out."
It would go something like, "On behalf of Ms. X I would like to inquire about what arrangements you have in place to deal with ABC. Would you kindly call me at a mutually convenient time to discuss this matter."
It worked like a charm.

Peanut Free Store

More Community Posts

Latest Post by absfabs Wed, 12/04/2019 - 12:29pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by absfabs Wed, 12/04/2019 - 12:25pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by absfabs Wed, 12/04/2019 - 12:22pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by penelope Tue, 12/03/2019 - 4:46pm
Comments: 9
Latest Post by penelope Tue, 12/03/2019 - 4:43pm
Comments: 2
Latest Post by sunshinestate Mon, 12/02/2019 - 2:34pm
Comments: 5
Latest Post by absfabs Mon, 12/02/2019 - 11:17am
Comments: 482
Latest Post by Italia38 Fri, 11/29/2019 - 1:38pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by penelope Tue, 11/26/2019 - 4:31pm
Comments: 7
Latest Post by sunshinestate Thu, 11/21/2019 - 10:31am
Comments: 172
Latest Post by william robenstein Mon, 11/18/2019 - 10:35am
Comments: 1
Latest Post by sunshinestate Sun, 11/17/2019 - 1:16pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by absfabs Fri, 11/15/2019 - 5:32pm
Comments: 2

More Articles

For those with peanut allergies, baked goods present a serious risk. Many baked goods do not appear...

Those who have peanut allergies know to avoid peanut butter cookies, of course – but what about other...

For anyone who has had a peanut allergy diagnosis, it is necessary to avoid eating peanuts entirely. However,...

Are you looking for peanut-free candies as a special treat for a child with...

Are you craving sweets? Those with peanut allergies must be especially careful when indulging their...

Do you know what's in the face paint often used for Halloween costumes, school carnivals, and other events? If you're worried about smearing...

Vegetable oil is healthy before it is hydrogenated and a process that requires adding hydrogen to unsaturated fats. Oils that are often...

Peanut allergies don’t begin to cause problems for people the first time they are exposed to peanuts. Rather, the immune system first develops...

Anxious food allergic kids, understandably concerned about avoiding allergens, can become so restrictive in their food choices that weight loss...

The relationship between anxiety and food or other allergy is a complicated and puzzling one. Research has shown that stress can exacerbate...

Welcome to Before you begin you must verify your email address. Please check your email and click on the link and you will...

If you have a food allergy, you will probably need to make some changes to your diet...

When love is in the air we can get caught up in the moment and throw caution to the wind. However, if you have a...

Just 30 seconds of mindfulness, of quieting our thoughts by being attentive to the present moment, can help manage stress and anxiety.


Those affected by peanut allergy might have heard about basophil activation tests (BATs), a potentially accurate tool for diagnosing food allergy...

When your child has a food allergy, you want to make sure they are safe in school...

It’s the time of year when holiday parties, and family gatherings can make allergen avoidance more problematic. Whether you celebrate Christmas,...

Food allergies and sensitivities are on the rise. Almost everyone knows someone who has problems with at least one food. The most common food...

Peanuts and Nuts Can Trigger An Asthma Attack

According to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology (AAAI), more than 3...

According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, over 50 million people in the U.S. have allergies. Today's allergy tests...