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Posted on: Thu, 02/16/2006 - 11:33pm
synthia's picture
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Joined: 10/05/2002 - 09:00

[b] if you are arguing that an allergic reaction doesn't result in that kind of emotional trauma, you are incorrect.[/b]
Here,here,and Thank You.
NO ONE should *judge* this parent.*You* are not in *her* shoes.DYKW*I*M
Corvallis Mom glad you are back [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
peanut hater ((hugs)) Do what *YOU* need to do to take care of *your* children.
------------------
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Thu, 02/16/2006 - 11:52pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I don't think the Sesame Street article applies to the situation of a child who is refusing ALL FOOD because of an adult sized dose of post-traumatic stress. This isn't some lost blankie or cancelled play-date that has been lied about, for goodness sakes!
Let's address it this way: say that your 4y.o. child is the victim of a drive-by shooting. The suspect is later caught and convicted, but because of other circumstances, has been paroled after just a few months in prison, and is again living just a few blocks from the child. What do you say if that child asks you "can that man ever hurt me again?" The unvarnished [i]truth[/i]?? OMG I hope not.[/b]
So you would lie and tell your child he can't hurt her again? I wouldn't do that. I have explained to my child that there are bad people in the world - that's why he is not allowed out and about all by himself. I don't usually watch the news when my son is around, but occasionally I do - or he hears a little clip of what will be on the news, and he asks about it. And, yes, even if it is scary - I am honest with him.
As for the sesame street article - I agree it's not comparable. It is talking about little white lies, not [b]bold[/b] ones. I think lieing about this was an error in judgement. [b]We[/b] have all made errors in judgement when it comes to raising our kids. (Yes, I am definitely including myself in that statement.) Then, we sometimes have to make up for it.
I am [b]not[/b] posting things to criticize parents for what I feel is an error in judgement. I just would prefer people (in the future) to think harder before doing the same thing. i.e. think harder to find another way instead of lieing. Why? Because the lie [i]can[/i] cause other just as serious problems. (Such as, lack of trust when the child finds out you lied; having to tell another lie to cover up the first lie; or worse, the child one day sees you eat something that isn't safe for him/her.)

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:05am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by AnnaMarie:
[b] So you would lie and tell your child he can't hurt her again? I wouldn't do that. I have explained to my child that there are bad people in the world - that's why he is not allowed out and about all by himself. I don't usually watch the news when my son is around, but occasionally I do - or he hears a little clip of what will be on the news, and he asks about it. And, yes, even if it is scary - I am honest with him.
[/b]
and if your sons are anything like my own.........[i]they know when you lie[/i].
see, logical minds may have difficulty with sarcasm at first, [i]but rarely with interpreting lying.[/i] At least in my experience. But hey, I might be unique. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
edit to correct play on words. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 17, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:16am
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Personally? the emotional trauma I experience from those I love lying to me is worse than any fear I could experience from a physical threat. But hey, that's might just be me.
____________________________________
"It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word."

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:18am
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Joined: 10/10/2003 - 09:00

O.K., look, I already said that I was sorry for sounding "harsh", for "criticizing", for "berating". I acted this way because the situation really bothered me. I should have waited until I saw a few more posts go through before I responded as maybe I would have thought about it more. However, I did apologize and I am apologizing again. I just want to help peanut hater at this point.
If you noticed, until yesterday, I had not posted in several days. I did not continue the argument even though it was still on fire without me. But I saw this article and thought it might be helpful. I simply decided to surf the net to see what others have said about the subject and this was literally the first article I found. I ask now that people please accept that and now stop criticing me.
In regards to the article, take it or leave it. I happen to agree with it and think that it does pertain. If you don't, that's fine. We all raise our children differently. I can respect that.

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:30am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MimiM:
[b] I ask now that people please accept that and now stop criticing me.
[/b]
yes. [i] feeding frenzies are highly overrated. [/i]
I have a lot of respect for you. I mean, I think I know where you are comming from. At least professionally. I mean, we deal in [i]truth[/i].
Or at least have a high regard for it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
The alternative is not an option. Ethically, speaking, I mean.

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:32am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] I mean, we deal in [i]truth[/i].
[/b]
honesty, logic, current best guess, .... whatever it's called. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:34am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Trust isn't just about honesty when you are a parent. It is just as important for young children to feel that their parents can protect them from [i]real, adult-sized harm.[/i] [/b]
[i]real, adult-sized harm[/i] has no respect for age boundaries.

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 12:47am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] see, logical minds may have difficulty with sarcasm at first, [i]but rarely with interpreting lying.[/i] At least in my experience. But hey, I might be unique. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img][/b]
I used to think you were. I'm sorry to disappoint you - but, less and less do I see you as unique. One of a small group - but, no. Not completely unique. (And you know there is no insult in that, right?)
btw, did you get my e-mail?

Posted on: Fri, 02/17/2006 - 7:23am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by AnnaMarie:
[b] I used to think you were. I'm sorry to disappoint you - but, less and less do I see you as unique. One of a small group - but, no. Not completely unique. (And you know there is no insult in that, right?)[/b]
say it isn't so. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Yes, completely understand.
Quote:[b]btw, did you get my e-mail?[/b]
yes. thank you. I've been amiss in responding to emails lately -- never was my forte, more of a phone person. (varicose veins, too much computer time, sitting is really getting to be a pain. Literally. ick ick ick.)
I can see some cosmetic surgery below the waist in my near future. One leg, groin, um.....somewhere else too, only. Odd. Just one leg.

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