I let him eat pie

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 11:51pm
Greenlady's picture
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Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

This was supposed to be a "bad mommy" confession but I'm afraid I lack true repentence - I think given the same circumstances I'd do the same thing.

This was at DS's class Halloween party yesterday. Tons of baked good were brought in, but no peanut products. But everything was "may contains", of course.

I was prepared with his special treat (homemade chocolate chip cookies) when I saw them - two pumpkin pies. My son LOVES pumpkin pies, and I don't think we've made them since last Christmas. I knew as soon as he saw them he'd want them. He wouldn't try and sneak a bite, but he'd pine.

So I talked to the mom who baked them. She seemed to take me seriously and we reviewed the ingredients carefully. She had made them from scratch and hadn't made anything with peanuts in the kitchen that day.

Then I thought, is this pie worth risking my son's life? I was surprised when my answer came back "yes." The risk was small, but it was real. But then, every time he rides a bike, or plays on the monkey bars, or goes to the pool, he risks his life. For some things it's worth it.

And as I watched his face as he ate his pie (and believe me, I was watching VERY carefully, epipen mentally ready), I felt I'd made the right choice. I hadn't seen that expression of pure happiness for a long time. He had two slices.

I still worry that I've sent mixed messages to him - only eat food that Mommy prepares, unless it's something you really, really like? But for this day, it was worth it.

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 12:00am
joeybeth's picture
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

well...this is probably a lot like the hershey bars my girls almost cried over last night. they LOVE hershey bars and asked me one more time, "can't we please have them?" last night. we had discussed that there is now a "may contain almonds" warning on the package earlier in the week. anyway, i decided (since they are not tna...just pa) that we'd have the hershey bars after all. they were so happy. it wasn't a risk i had initially been willing to take with them but i gave it some thought and decided to say yes.
like you, i wasn't sure i'd made the correct decision but it sure made them happy and in some weird way, it made me feel like we'd told PA "you will not steal our fun!" last night. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
of course we were prepared with meds too but i did feel uncertain about the message i was sending my girls. mostly i think the decision was okay. it's hard to find that balance, isn't it?

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 12:27am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by joeybeth:
[b] it's hard to find that balance, isn't it? [/b]
absolutely.
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum10/HTML/000273.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum10/HTML/000273.html[/url]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 5:48am
ajas_folks's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Greenlady:
[b]
And as I watched his face as he ate his pie (and believe me, I was watching VERY carefully, epipen mentally ready), I felt I'd made the right choice.
I hadn't seen that expression of pure happiness for a long time.
[/b]
I know that expression.
I saw it on my son last night who got to do REAL trick-or-treating for first time.
His eyes brought me to tears last night.
Baby steps toward "normal". Giant steps toward happy.
Letting breath out slowly,
~Elizabeth
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited November 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Sat, 11/04/2006 - 2:15am
ZekeAndEli's picture
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Joined: 09/09/2006 - 09:00

Isn't that the greatest feeling?? At DS's Halloween party, the TA for our class had baked cookies. She's very aware of Elijah's allergy and was careful when making them. The look on his face when I told him he could have EVERYTHING on the snack table (the rest was fruits/veggies and peanut-free chocolates) was worth a million. He was so excited. It was the first time I've allowed him to eat "home baking" not baked by me. I'm forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone on occasion now, because I have to remember that while Elijah's allergy is life threatening, he's a kid and deserves to have some of the simple pleasures associated with being one. For him, getting to be just like all the other kids for one hour was worth so much to him.

Posted on: Sat, 11/04/2006 - 3:46am
McCobbre's picture
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Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by joeybeth:
[b]well...this is probably a lot like the hershey bars my girls almost cried over last night. they LOVE hershey bars and asked me one more time, "can't we please have them?" last night. we had discussed that there is now a "may contain almonds" warning on the package earlier in the week. anyway, i decided (since they are not tna...just pa) that we'd have the hershey bars after all. they were so happy. it wasn't a risk i had initially been willing to take with them but i gave it some thought and decided to say yes.
like you, i wasn't sure i'd made the correct decision but it sure made them happy and in some weird way, it made me feel like we'd told PA "you will not steal our fun!" last night. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
of course we were prepared with meds too but i did feel uncertain about the message i was sending my girls. mostly i think the decision was okay. it's hard to find that balance, isn't it? [/b]
We threw away most everything in DS' trick or treat bag and succeeded with our candy buy back program (a Dueling Stomp Rocket/Blast Pad--way better than our single version, ghostie bubble bath, and Book the Tenth of Unfortunate Events), but I let him have the Hershey bars and Pop Rocks. They were labeled well. I just said, "Don't let your mouth touch the wrapper!! And wash your hands after unwrapping it!"
He got pixie sticks, Jr. Mints (thanks y'all, for letting me know they're safe), and Kissables that we gave out). I forgot to order from VNF in time--will have to get candy corn later. He loved that last year for the first time!
It is hard, but he loved having something from his ToT bag. And he lived.

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 1:41am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Greenlady, you know what? I probably would have done the same thing as well. You checked the ingredients, the Mom hadn't baked anything peanut-y beforehand and it was pumpkin pie [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
It's really really hard when you step outside of your comfort zone and I don't know what you were like after you saw the joy on your son's face, but I know that after I experience that, then there's usually the watching him like a hawk thing that goes with it too.
But, through the years, have certainly stepped outside of our comfort zone (just a little bit - and I get the sense I have a different comfort zone than most people here anyway) and it's been a difficult decision, but when I've made it an "informed" decision (sometimes I've just plain bugged up), it has always worked out.
I think you did okay. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 3:32am
AJSMAMA's picture
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Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

I would have let him eat it too. It sounds like you asked all the right questions and were armed and ready should something have happened.

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 3:35am
erik's picture
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Joined: 05/15/2001 - 09:00

There's nothing wrong with letting him eat the pie. I would have eaten the pie too. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] In fact, I am PA and I do eat pies as long as the person/bakery did not use peanuts in their baking.

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 9:33am
starlight's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by erik:
[b]There's nothing wrong with letting him eat the pie. I would have eaten the pie too. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] In fact, I am PA and I do eat pies as long as the person/bakery did not use peanuts in their baking.[/b]
me too [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 12:00am
joeybeth's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

well...this is probably a lot like the hershey bars my girls almost cried over last night. they LOVE hershey bars and asked me one more time, "can't we please have them?" last night. we had discussed that there is now a "may contain almonds" warning on the package earlier in the week. anyway, i decided (since they are not tna...just pa) that we'd have the hershey bars after all. they were so happy. it wasn't a risk i had initially been willing to take with them but i gave it some thought and decided to say yes.
like you, i wasn't sure i'd made the correct decision but it sure made them happy and in some weird way, it made me feel like we'd told PA "you will not steal our fun!" last night. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
of course we were prepared with meds too but i did feel uncertain about the message i was sending my girls. mostly i think the decision was okay. it's hard to find that balance, isn't it?

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