I had to use the epi-pen for the first time

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I was a bad mom and ate ice cream with peanut butter cup in it. I thought i was safe because my two year old was asleep and thought i would be home before he saw me eating it. I really was not carefull enough. He woke up crying because my other two boys were fighting and he got in the crossfire. I had my mouth close to his face when i was comforting him and he broke out in hives there. I gave him benadryl and called the doctor. she said to give him the epi-pen if the hives spread. I saw hives on his back and his chest and he was not walking very well. i gave him the shot and we went to the e.r. for an hour. he fell asleep and was fine. It was very scary because it reminded me of how quick his reactions are to peanut and how severe it is. I have been through a very traumatic experience with one of my other kids when he got sick with infantile botulism. I have held a child and thought it would be my last day holding him. then i watched him on a respirator for three long weeks and then i had to deal with a long recovery from the paralysis. i don't want to see a child of mine suffer again like this. i am so afraid of having my child not be able to breathe. I am so afraid of feeling all the things i had felt when my son was sick. I felt hopeless and so sad. When he first got sick beleave it or not i felt as though i was selfish to want him to live when he was suffering so much just to breathe. He was cold and mottled and i did not think he would make it. i may be boring people with this but i just felt like saying it because when my kids get sick i have a lot of anxiety and fears to deal with.

On Jul 10, 2001

No you are not a bad mom! Just a cruddy situation. It's unfortunate that it happened but remember all the wonderful things you do for your children to protect them. Thank goodness everything is ok now. I know it's not great for us to "sneak" pb because of situations like this but I must admit, there have been more than one occasion were I "sneaked" a reeses or peanut m&m while I was out and washed my hands. When I got in the house I felt like pigpen from the Peanuts cartoon strip with the cloud of dirt around me. I would run to the bathroom to rewash my hands, face, arms, and brush and floss my teeth then wash my hands again. After a few times of doing this I realized, my god that reeses doesn't taste that good that I have to go through this entire regimine. I still crave pb on occasion I love it unfortunately that might be one of the reasons why my son is PA. So sorry to hear but like I said earlier, everything is ok and don't be so hard on yourself. There is no logic to this allergy and in another set of circumstances the baby might not have reacted this time. There is no way of knowing how, when and how severe reactions will be. Good Luck! Fran

On Jul 10, 2001

jrizos,

Don't be too hard on yourself.

You are not a bad Mom!!

Everyday you protect your son from all sorts of situations and risks. Like BCUZILUVHIM said, it was a cruddy situation. You got him the care he needed and he is OK. I know your pain because I did something similar. I know it hurts and the anxiety that follows it. But, he is and will be OK and so will you.

Andrea

On Jul 10, 2001

You are not a bad mom and you are not boring us. This is the place we all can go and express ourselves. Accidents happen. All you can do is be as careful as you can and learn from any mistakes you make. Andy

On Jul 12, 2001

Gosh - don't ever feel like a bad mom. Every Wednesday is my golf night and every wednesday I have a Snickers bar. I know I will be away from Philip for several hours and the snickers seems to give me my "peanut fix". Of course I do all the right things, wash well, brush teeth, etc. but your post reminds me that perhaps I should be thinking of my son instead of me when it comes to this allergy. But don't ever feel like a bad mom - from reading your posts I know how much you love your kids and try to keep them safe.

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