I gave my daughter a panic attack

Posted on: Sun, 08/29/2004 - 10:51pm
MayaLily's picture
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Joined: 07/01/2004 - 09:00

I feel so horrible. We had a friend over saturday night for dinner (fried chicken). We got on the subject of Maya's peanut allergy, because he didn't know about it.

well...a little while later Maya starts crying and saying she's going to throw up. I got her to calm down somewhat and lie down. I talked to her about why she was feeling sick...she first said she thought she ate too much, but then said..."mama, chicken doesn't have peanuts"

I immediately assured her that there were no peanuts in our house and that anything I give her is safe. I asked if we scared her by talking about peanuts and she said yes. I hate what this allergy does to us...the fear it instills...she's 4 years old, she should not have to worry about something like this.

I don't know what to do now...I don't want to make her any more anxious, but she needs to hear some stuff so that she'll learn, right? She seems to be ok if she initiates the conversation, but if she overhears us talking about peanuts she flips out. I guess I just have to be more careful about when/where I talk about this. I just feel so bad that I caused her so much anxiety.

has anyone had a similar experience with you kid? How did you handle it?

kristen

Posted on: Sun, 08/29/2004 - 11:49pm
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

MayaLily, I am so glad you posted. My daughter was very similar to yours. She is nine, now, and things have changed a lot. When she was younger, though, it really upset her when we would talk about her pa. She used to cover her ears when I would try to bring up reminders about what she needed to do to stay safe.
My dh and I used to try to "protect" her by keeping most of the conversation going on "behind the scenes". I have actually wondered, over the years, if we had been mistaken in doing that. Reading your post, however, makes me realize that we did the right thing.
Your post really makes the point that kids can be so different from one another. What works with one (or even most) is not always the best for another.
I would suggest that you follow your daughter's lead when discussing pa.
Good luck; I am positive that as your daughter grows and matures she will be able to handle more and more re: her allergies.
Take care,
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

Posted on: Sun, 08/29/2004 - 11:53pm
AJSMAMA's picture
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Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

Don't feel bad... you are just doing the best you can. I posted several months ago about how I made my child anxiety ridden over starting preschool because I talked incessantly about how he shouldn't eat anything from anyone else or sit near anyone eating pb, etc...I was just trying to prepare him so he would be safe. (Sounds like what you were doing as well.) I just toned it down a notch and gave bits of information to him only in small doses. He is fine now and hasn't flipped out in quite some time. I use words like "life-threatening" as opposed to saying "he could die" when speaking to other adults about his PA in front of him. Good luck.
Jaime

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