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Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 8:25am
Gail W's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] (remember, this is only a wish list) [/b]
Nope. I only wish.
But wouldn't that be awesome to have to show your school?

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 9:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Had to go and rest for awhile and think.
The "all inclusive" Fun Fair at my son's first school. Would the WHOLE school community have had to "bend over backwards" if there was not some legal basis for them to do so and the principal recognized that?
It's not like she was an easy woman to get along with. It's not like she did it out of the goodness of her heart.
But I told her, very clearly, that my expectation of my son's school experience was that he would/should be included in ANY and ALL school events, including those before and after school.
Thus, the Fun Fair.
Thus, the two breakfast programs in other schools.
If it's a human rights' thing (again, my English [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] ), then is it not a legal thing as well?
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 10:13am
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[b]If it's a human rights' thing (again, my English ), then is it not a legal thing as well?[/b]
Worth repeating. Again.
Also worth mentioning. In addition to that nice day when I showed up and the teacher had no idea what my son had eaten of all the food that was completely not allowed by his 504........ a safe goodie for my son.
See, nice woman that she was, who didn't call me when the teacher asked, not that that should have been the way it worked... anyway, nice woman *dripping with sarcasm*, brought my son, and the other child who was allergic to chocolate, a little plastic toy. Know why? Cause she was passing out, as an added little bonus gift, bags of chocolate coins with a "contains nuts" warning.
All of the kids had them, in fact my eyes probably got the size of saucers when I walked in the door as one little girl dropped the entire contents of her little bag on the floor in front of me.
Point is. The woman who has come before me at this school, whose son is PA, has also done a safe treat box. Provides a safe snack list. Volunteers and makes and bakes until her eyeballs budge. Forget about the fact that nobody knew what epinephrine was before we got there, she really accommodated everyone. And her stance has really screwed us. BIG TIME.
Aren't you going to give us a safe snack box like "X"?
Well "X" had a safe snack box and it worked fine. He got that while "whatever" was passed out.
"X" wrote up this safe snack list.... that isn't okay to give to your son? "X" ate it last year and was okay.
And again, I could go on... having heard it for 3 years now... and had to fight it....
It is true many of you are having a great time with your school. You have great teachers.... great principals.... a snack box just lets them be safe... have something while the other kids do.
But, if you allow for a safe exception, sometimes people will bring that along with the not so safe alternative for the other kids. "Huh? It's okay... see.... I brought them a toy while the other kids eat something that could kill your child. What's the problem? I thought of them -- it is safe. Isn't that good enough?"
If you allow for safe exceptions, create lists, let them out of what is their duty, legally, ethically and morally, you are setting precedent that can end up screwing the next person.... and even yourself if you end up with a not-so-great teacher next year..... or your principal retires.... or district personnel changes.......

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 10:38am
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I'm not sure how having a safe treat box will have a neg impact on anyone else. Our son's class is going to be free of all his allergens. All eating will be in the cafeteria. People will be free to send in whatever they like for snack and lunch. Bday snacks are supposed to be free of DS's allergens but he is only going to eat food from home because i'm not going to turn over responsibility to check snacks to anyone else. I don't see this as a problem for anyone following me. I think I paved the way and that people before me paved it, too. Plus I got super lucky having a great school.
I think it is a shame your plan wasn't followed.

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 11:56am
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Anonymous (not verified)

Oh, Mother X, there's one at my son's school. Her son was okay with the BENCH. Her son was okay with whatever happened. The one thing this Mother X did was train the staff on the Epi-Pen.
I do provide a Safe Snack and Lunch List to make things easier for non-PA parents.
However, as I re-read in one of my old threads the other night, I remember when my daughter brought home the Safe Snack and Lunch List another PA parent had given the school (the school I had problems with immensely) and what I saw on that list made my head explode (perhaps my brain has not recovered [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] ).
Now, as I have told you in this thread, I am ASHAMED of myself and ASHAMED of what my son might be thinking of me for not doing the *right* thing - not making that Fun Fair "safe" at his school; especially when I had done it before. Because he is older, what am I expecting? That he'll be okay going to the Fun Fair and not eating certain things? You know what? I'm not thinking anymore. I am truly a wimp.
Because I KNOW it CAN be done! It HAS been done.
So, for me, this thread has taken a more personal tone - what the heck happened to me and what I believe in and what I believe in for my son? Well, I know what happened, but that doesn't need repeating here.
What's even more a kick in the a$$ about it is that I won't be moving again until he finishes this particular school, so it would have been SO easy to start right from the beginning and if I had, we would be attending a "safe" Fun Fair this Fall.
I've tried the thing where you join Parent Council (or whatever it's called) and that didn't work for me, personally, but I know that it did help some other parents here.
I guess that's why I feel so much need to post to you, gvmom, because I sense that you may have that passion; in fact, I know you've got it. I so much want to see you use it. I know it's use-able. I know it's all do-able. It's something that makes you proud and I believe makes your children proud of you (like that thing that happened with my daughter a month ago, now removed from the board, but how I just grabbed my keys and ran and she was like wow, aren't you scared Mommy?).
Even should things happen in life where that passion withers and dies and you end up like me (which isn't as bad as some on here would like to believe [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] ), at least you know that you did do it once.
Also, I believe, and please correct me, but if you're able to do this this year, with the 504 (legal), that should last your children 'til middle school?
Not saying that you don't have to stay on top of things. Not that things will be consistent through the years or that the Cupcake Queens will die, but.....
I have so much hope for you because I know what that passion feels like and I think you would get it done a lot more eloquently than I would have even.
Run with it gvmom. You've got it sorted in your head (your position) and hopefully it gets sorted in the 504's.
My ? would have to be - but perhaps it's rude - why aren't people so passionate about this? At any time in their children's schooling? I mean, I know why I'm not now, but why not ever? Is it about what battles to choose, etc.? Why? An entirely separate ? that I may raise.
gvmom - go with your passion. It will empower you and your children (even if it sometimes feels like it's going to kill you). Go with what you know to be *right* and what, in fact, is *legally* correct.
(one day, since sometimes in this thread I feel like it's only you and I on the same page, maybe we'll get together and burn our bras together or something terribly rad like that [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 1:45pm
lilpig99's picture
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In the Mystic Valley case, the parents sought a peanut and tree nut free classroom. Also, the allergic child was separated from his peers within his own class (set to happen to my own child, read all about it in another thread).
Just imagine inserting 'Food free classroom' instead of merely 'peanut/free classroom'...think you could argue for one, based on the hearing officers statements within this case?:
[url="http://www.allergysupport.org/rhondadocs/bsea.pdf"]http://www.allergysupport.org/rhondadocs/bsea.pdf[/url]
[i]The position expressed by Mystic Valley's administrators is legally flawed in many respects. First in reaching their determination as to whether the accomodation requested by Parents is or is not reasonable, they weigh the inconvenience of a total ban on other students.....The impact of a modification on the rights of other students is in regard to [b]education[/b] and how the modification would effect their education. Nothing under the facts of the case at bar shows that the educational program of other students would be affected by banning peanut/treenut products from the classroom.
...
Mystic Valley's arguement in favor of protecting the rights of students to bring peanut butter snacks and lunches into the classroom over providing a safe environment for this seven year old Student, is mistaken. It considers the inconvenience to individual parents/students over the needs of the handicapped individual[/i]
There is alot more good stuff in that ruling as you know....just wanted to share.

Posted on: Tue, 08/21/2007 - 7:25pm
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I've been reading along, and seriously thinking about food free celebrations and where I stand.
Birthday celebrations without food is definitely doable. My ds' preschool did it for 2 years. There are public schools in my town that do it (just not the ones we're districted for [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] and my request to change schools within town was denied).
I agree gvmom, that if you strip this argument down to the essentials: if your 504 states that classroom has to be free of certain allergens, and then treats are allowed in the classroom that contain these items, then sending in a safe treat box is in effect giving them permission to violate your 504.
I also agree that it's very difficult to not send in a safe treat box, knowing that will probably mean your child will be left eating nothing while the others all chow down on something that looks delicious [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] And what kind of message does that send to your child if his teacher and classmates are still willing to indulge in these treats while he eats nothing? The safe treat at least, I think, provides some cushion or softness to the exclusion.
While the safe treat box in effect sounds like it goes against your 504, the lack of it could make an isolating situation for your child that much worse. There is no easy answer.
From some of your posts in this thread, it sounds like you have a plan to address this situation if they do eat the treats in class. I'm not sure you want to elaborate on that plan...so I'm not asking you to. But I think it's important that you have one, and you've played out the various scenarios in your head. If they do x, then you do y.
And I admire your commitment to see this through gvmom and I thank you for raising this topic as it has been swirling in my head for quite some time.
Currently, we don't have a 504, and I'm not saying that's a good thing. at. all.
Looking at this from another MFA perspective if you'll indulge me....since kids are in school all day, of course they need to eat. [b]LUNCH[/b] and [b]SNACKS[/b]. And when they're eating lunch and snacks, presumably, they're not ALL eating the same thing. My ds' classroom is designated peanut free, and all indications are that that will be honored, based on past history with same teacher.
They do [b]NOT NEED[/b] to eat cupcakes or other delectable treats every time they turn around. They may want to when those treats come in the door, but they don't need to, and there's a big difference. And, when X number of kids are all eating the same yummy, most likely messy thing that my ds is allergic to (anything with milk, eggs, or nuts), his physical safety becomes more jeopardized, as well as his emotional well being.
ETA: I'm wondering though if anyone who is has PA only would be bothered by a no food birthday celebration if a nut free celebration were guaranteed. I will start a new thread and ask that question so as not to derail this one.
If these treats were consumed outside his classroom, I may feel somewhat differently. But in our case, they eat in the classroom.
I've been waiting all summer for this private school where the principal and vice principal truly have their hearts in the right place to finalize their allergy policy. Guess what? They can't do it [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] I imagine the cupcake queens are out in full force.
I've printed out all the links in this thread that could help with this argument and I will search for more when I can, and hopefully find more to post.
Now it's time for me to find the backbone to fight the cupcake queens. This thread will hopefully help. Meg
[This message has been edited by mommyofmatt (edited August 22, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by mommyofmatt (edited August 22, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:50am
Gail W's picture
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My dd's school has a similar tradition (although, unfortunately, not in lieu of a party treat). The birthday child donates a book to the school library, and the school librarian puts a photo of the child holding their book on a huge bulletin board in the library. It is also announced in our weekly newsletter. No one wants to be left out, so this has been very successful over the years.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:04am
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Quote:Originally posted by ceross:
[b] This happened with my DD last year. Her kindergarten teacher gave each student a candy cane and told them not to eat them until they got home. According to DD, the teacher read the label and said there were no nuts in them (she's also egg allergic, though). Thankfully, DD did not eat it but I had to be the bad guy and take it away when she got home. When I emailed the teacher about it, she said she didn't want DD to be left out. We'd noted on DD's allergy plan that she's not to be fed anything not provided by us.
Cupcakes arriving at school unannounced are pretty common. That's why I leave a box of safe snacks at school (mini Oreos, etc.) for DD so that she can at least have some treat. I guess I don't look at this as an inclusion issue with her. I mean she already has different treats when she goes to parties, so this is just part of her life.
Is it fair? Of course not. But it's hardly fair that she has these allergies to begin with but it's not something she can change.
As for feeling excluded because she's different from her peers, there are so many means that kids can find to exclude other children: you don't wear the right clothes, you're fat, you wear glasses, etc. Exclusion is a lesson she'll learn anyway even though she's sunny, sweet, and young. For me, it's more productive to teach her how to handle that gracefully and that it's is not reflective of her value as a person. Also, I should model the behavior of grace for her if I expect her to learn it and that entails being gracious about these issues in the classroom. I'm not saying be a doormat but you don't need to go to the mattresses to make a point and thereby exclude and single-out your child even more.
Our school has nut-free classrooms for those students with allergies. Some items that are may contains did make their way into the classroom during the holiday parties (strangely despite the class mom having kids with severe food allergies) but those posed less of a risk to DD. Birthday cupcakes were handed out during snack, which was held in the cafeteria.
We also have a very simple rule for DD (who is 6): You don't eat anything not provided or checked by mommy/daddy. So forcing parents to bring in a celebratory snack free of all her allergens that she wouldn't be allowed to eat anyway wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to the other 24 kids in her class who do not have allergies. My daughter is one person and the world does not revolve around her even despite her allergies. Certainly, safeguards should be in place and if those are violated, I'll deal with them but asking for protections that would serve no purpose would only serve to make other families resent us.
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 17, 2007).][/b]
AND
Quote:Originally posted by ceross:
[b] Please go back and reread my post. You have quoted me out of context. I said that in our situation asking the entire class to bring in safe treats would be moot because we would [b]never[\b] allow DD to eat them. That's our rule for her at her current age and I don't foresee that changing for a number of years. My only request is that the treat not include nuts, but if it includes eggs that's not a big deal because she's not going to eat it.
Please don't quote me out of context to make some point that had nothing to do with what I posted. Of course, we all have the same goal and that's to keep our children safe. I don't disagree with that. I'm also not going to say that you can't take your approach but I do think it might make accommodating children with MFAs less palatable to the parents of non-allergic children and could possibly exclude your child further (every child in his/her class is going to know that they can't have treats that other classes have because of your child).
I am fortunate to be in a school system, that while not perfect, does a lot of good things as standard practice. There are no peanut-free tables so there's no exclusion there: Children with allergies are seated with their class at one end of the table buffered from the kids who bring lunch by kids who get hot lunch (which has no peanut products). No nut products are served in the cafeteria. For birthday celebrations, parents can order Scribblers popsicles instead of bringing in cupcakes, but this is optional. Cupcakes (at least for kindergartners) were doled out at snack, which was served in the cafeteria. Signs are prominently displayed on each classroom with a peanut-allergic child to indicate that no nuts are allowed in the class. DD's teacher contacted me ahead of time about a lesson involving food (the were learning about the senses and sour, sweet, etc.) to let me know what they were using and I sent in safe items for DD. Also, DD's teacher last year allowed her to have her Epi in her backpack (in addition to the one in the office) so that one would be closer to the class and so that DD would have it for the bus to day care; this was allowed despite the fact that legally DD cannot carry it because her allergist has not signed off on her to self-administer. When we did have an issue both the teacher and principal were very responsive.
There were still hiccups (the candy cane) and instances of not always being informed about b-day celebrations beforehand (but that was often because parents just showed up with cupcakes without informing the teacher beforehand). However, the school year went well and I expect next year to be good as well. As I said, we're lucky. To me it's about balance. I'm more likely to drive hard on an issue like the teacher giving DD a candy cane than about birthday celebrations.
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 19, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 19, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 19, 2007).][/b]
Keeping your posts (as they currently appear) there in full, but only addressing that you felt I took part of your original post out of context.
First of all, it was not my intention to "quote out of context" but to simply respond briefly to a specific part of your post which I interpreted to be a generalized comment, given my perceived tone of the entire post.
Additionally, with the "original" version of your follow-up post to mine (as I read it in its form on August 19th, but did not have time to respond), your reference to our method of "NO safe treat box" as being a [b] [i] Draconian approach [/i] [/b] led me to again perceive an intended "tone".
If I have horribly misinterpreted or misunderstood, I apologize.
~Eliz

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:14am
ajas_folks's picture
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PLEASE DON'T quote THIS!! WILL HAVE TO EDIT OUT FOR PRIVACY!!
.
First you cry. Then you get angry. Then you take calm, appropriate action. Repeat after me.
~Elizabeth
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:23am
ajas_folks's picture
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Oh my. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
I had already printed up certain pages of this thread for our records & to use particular passages and "quotable quotes" in our arguments with the school.
But just printing "Page 1" of this thread took 34 pieces of paper. Please forgive me, Mother Nature.
~Eliz

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 2:54am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Does this mean I've been Draconian for, um, 8 years?
Oh well. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
To me, I actually see it the other way. It would be Draconian for me to provide a safe treat box.
I was up all night puking my guts out with one of the most vicious migraines I have had in years, so I will return later, but honestly, truly, do not believe what I am reading in this thread, for the most part.
I'm shocked. But then again, I'm Canadian. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
Please everyone, visit [url="http://www.cbc.ca"]www.cbc.ca[/url] and check out Rick Mercer. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:18am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Elizabeth....
I don't know whether to laugh or cry... or both!!
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] (For your post you don't want quoted)
O.M.G!!!!! That is one of the most absurd things I have EVER-- and I do mean EVER-- heard.
(Wonder if they know who Carlos Mencia is? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] He has a term for people who do things like..... ummm, introducing high-fat, high-calorie foods into PE.)
Remind me again what the obesity rate is in your state? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Gaaaa.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:20am
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Is there room in Draconia for me? I'm ready for a move!
Safe snack boxes aren't a panacea. We had one for 3 years. And you know what one of my son's favorite things to do when he comes home from school on the last day of the year is? Eat the contents of his safe snack box. He and his brother get to split them. HOOOOORAH!
Count yourself lucky if you have a good teacher THIS YEAR. Count yourself lucky if you have a good principal THIS YEAR. Find security in that snack box if it worked for you LAST YEAR.... and if they use it this year again.... well, maybe you will think you are lucky again.
Complacency, getting comfortable, providing outs......... hopefully that works for people. But when the #hit hits the fan, and you have to go back through, see what precedent YOU'VE set to support what YOU have to do for YOUR child. When you get stuck dealing with people that aren't the TEACHER or PRINCIPAL that you think are great now, or from last year, you might end up thinking differently.
And honestly, if I could post more details I would. Because I think some things people could take as warnings. To learn from. To see the things that we have done that have helped when your great teacher, or principal, aren't there the next year. And to see the mistakes we've made.... so that you don't repeat them.
Now, I guess I need to go shopping for a new outfit. Draconia seems to have more extreme weather.............

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:34am
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I'm so sorry Eliz, such evil strategy these cupcakes queens are capable of. To set out to willfully exclude a child, in the name of birthday fun, is unbelievable.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 4:01am
ajas_folks's picture
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Last night I managed to cry in the shower long enough to drain a 60-gallon hot water heater, with no help from dishwasher or laundry running.
This after I stood at the foot of my son's bed and told him that we would do everything we could to work to have him fully included in at-school events. I again reminded him that not ALL of life is fair, and that we must all work toward accepting those things which we truly cannot change. And I told him he could always come to us when he felt he was not being treated fairly -- and that we would listen and help in all ways we believed to be appropriate. And my boy -- the one who normally just wants a good night peck on the cheek -- my 65-pound "little" boy crawled across the bed and into my arms, squeezed me as tight as he could, and with a kiss on my cheek, he whispered [i]thank you, Mommy. [/i]
~Eliz, thanks for listening

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 4:12am
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Quote:Originally posted by ajas_folks:
[b]Last night I managed to cry in the shower long enough to drain a 60-gallon hot water heater, with no help from dishwasher or laundry running.
[/b]
ajasfolks, gvmom, please read this thread, (paying in particular attention to [b]The Cupcake Incident[/b], which involved a "circumvent the plan" strategy, much similiar to the one Z describes. Probably exactly the same.
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/001880.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/001880.html[/url]
gvmom, I believe the 3 page interaction in that thread lay at the very heart of this thread. I'm noting with glee, once again, that I managed to get the premeditated violation of my child's IEP documented as [i]an incident report[/i] and placed on permanent file/record. Still remembering the teacher telling me in plain view/earshot [i]of the office staff and visitors[/i].: "I'd do it again."
U-huh. Yeah, sure you would. I bet.
And I'm no betting woman.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 4:58am
McCobbre's picture
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EB--I'm very sorry to hear about your issues.
In PE???????????????????????????
Let me say, though, that if those food-filled birthday celebrations are going to happen, I think the cafeteria IS the best place. There's already unsafe stuff being eaten there. The cupcakes are kept out of the classroom.
It's how we've had it in Texas the last few years, since the passing of that law, and I think it's WAAAAAY better than how it will be now in my new home. I'd give anything for cupcakes in the cafeteria once again, in fact--if they are at the school at all.
And I must say I'm surprised that in the fourth grade, cupcakes are still a presence. Did I say "presence?" I meant to say "bane"--that they are still part of our lives at all. But they apparently are part of my DS' life at school this year, so if they are there, I'd rather they be in the cafeteria.
That this was somehow supposed to be sneaked past you is truly horrific, though. And that your child must be realizing the value place on those stupid cupcakes seems to be greater than the value placed on his inclusion is just . . . profoundly sad.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 9:56am
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I occasionally peek in here (in this thread) to lurk and read and learn. Interesting thread--very interesting.
Elizabeth,
It happened to my dd last year too. The teacher would get around the tree nut/ peanut free classroom for kindergarten wide celebrations. A different teacher would bring in treats for the entire kindergarten (spur of the moment type thing, I was told) and the classroom teacher didn't check with me. They had the kids eat the treats outside or in the hall so it wouldn't violate the peanut/tree nut free room part of the 504.
The tough part of it is the fact that my dd doesn't always come home and tell me. She holds it in and tries to be brave. She tells herself it's O.K. The teacher then believed she was O.K. with this arrangement. She was not. I found out--later. I wish I had known sooner.
The worst was when the class had an ice cream party. Two kids were misbehaving and had to miss it as a consequence. They were told to sit on the carpet. Guess where the teacher put dd? On the carpet with those kids. Yes, she put her with kids who were being punished. This brought on a meeting at the school and yes, this was discussed at the meeting and 11 more items were added to dd's 504 at that meeting. I was furious.
So I'm sorry. I can feel what you are going through. I'm glad that you have this thread to bury your info in.** I felt like I couldn't post about my experience. I didn't want the teacher to take it out on dd. I didn't want the school to see what I post. I had to deal with it privately.
I am very, very sorry.
This thread has given me a lot to think about.
**edited to add: when I say bury, I just mean that I don't think anyone who doesn't have pa would take the time to read a long thread. I DO think the info in this thread is important and valuable.
Gotta stop re-reading these posts! I feel like nothing I say comes out right!!
[This message has been edited by Lori Anne (edited August 24, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 10:09am
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Wow....I just finished reading the link #1 Mouser provided...
2 years ago you, GailW, Synthia, csc (Alternative to Mainstream??) had this discussion.
It is somewhat discouraging to know that history keeps repeating itself with the cupcakes [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
It was a great discussion, though! I love that you got a copy of the incident report, MB! Love that!
2005 was prior to this huge Wellness Policy thrust. We'll see if there is a difference in 2 more years regarding cupcakes since schools have been mandated to include "Wellness Policies"--our school calls them "guidelines"/"voluntary"/"can't tell a teacher what to do in their classroom"...

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 10:20am
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Quote:Originally posted by Lori Anne:
[b]
It happened to my dd last year too. The tough part of it is the fact that my dd doesn't always come home and tell me. She holds it in and tries to be brave. She tells herself it's O.K. The teacher then believed she was O.K. with this arrangement. She was not. I found out--later. I wish I had known sooner.[/b]
Ditto--so many times this happened to DD. She also kept so much in. I hate to think where this will lead us in 5, 10 years...
Quote:Originally posted by Lori Anne:
[b] The worst was when the class had an ice cream party. Two kids were misbehaving and had to miss it as a consequence. They were told to sit on the carpet. Guess where the teacher put dd? On the carpet with those kids. Yes, she put her with kids who were being punished. [/b]
Shaking my head...
I'm sorry. So very sorry.
It is disgusting behavior---repeating itself over and over...in schools all over.
I'm also sorry that we all have so much to deal with the schools and we can't post openly because we know they are looking (I know for a fact they have).

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 10:34am
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Just want to say that I am not intending to hijack this thread -- and to say to EVERYBODY here -- there are MANY sympathetic ears here. Truly. If you do not feel comfortable about posting an experience, there are many of us with e-mail addresses posted in profiles & we are more than willing to be a sounding board, or even a private "ear". Protocol supposedly is that you just ask on boards, "may I e-mail you" --though some of us have written into our Profiles "Please feel free to e-mail me" as a way of relieving that burden, should you feel it.
(OH, forgive this analogy) We *are* all in this same boat -- though some of us row (& feel like we're getting NO where), and some of us may occasionally feel like we're at the helm. But many are in between -- steerage? prisoner-hold? walking the plank? or just plain [i] shot in the screws [/i] (for the navy wives here [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] ). We get all excited when somebody can cry "Land Ho!"
And we are all there when the cry is "Man Overboard!"
So, thank you all for the preservers thrown & the life boats launched to me tonight.
There is nothing more important than the children. That's all we ever really want anybody to really recognize anyway.
Thank you all.
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 10:42am
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Oops sorry! I didn't mean to hijack it either. I've just been carrying those experiences around for a year and when I heard a similar story....well...
anyway, I'll delete my info if you'd like.
I know we're all in this together and no one has it easy.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 10:50am
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Lori Anne -- Please leave your experience here, if you feel comfortable. I think it's really important to show the realm of experiences, and I am SO glad you felt comfortable posting this!!
gvmom -- this thread and its marvelous input, from all directions, is or will be [i]pivotal[/i] for many of us in our PA journeys. THANK YOU.
~Eliz

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 11:01am
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Quote:Originally posted by PinkPoodle:
[b]
It was a great discussion, though! I love that you got a copy of the incident report, MB! Love that!
[/b]
it's on linen district letterhead..... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]
After that incident, I really started investing some strategy into writing the food allergy accommodations with [i]goals[/i] included. Like "(Student name) will safely participate in an environment as outlined in his physician letter with peers for all celebrations, birthdays, holidays, rewards, class or extracurricular activities. He will not be excluded due to his disability of a Life Threatening Food Allergy or Asthma." (paraphrased from memory)
Just in case people aren't good at interpreting what the "accommodation" should translate too. Goals are very powerful. Equally as powerful, if not more powerful than the accommodation itself. Then you can say: "Hey, does this picture (ie: celebration) look like that picture (goal)?" if not....you can say:
"Make it so. Do what you gotta do, but make it so." It removes the onus of you having to anticipate every snake-like movement.
Sure, goals are part of the normal IEP process (and I'd expect them to be for a 504 as well), but I was accustomed to them long before I ever heard the expressions IEP or 504. It's what I do. Measuring [i]outcomes[/i] is part of the Nursing Process. the "As Evidenced by" part. I chart on them every shift. It leaves one with a sense of accountability. Goals....

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:09pm
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Quote:Originally posted by The #l Mouser!:
[b] goals are part of the normal IEP process (and I'd expect them to be for a [i]504[/i] as well), but I was accustomed to them long before I ever heard the expressions IEP or 504. [/b]
Can someone who is more knowledgable with 504s answer this. I know my DD's 504 didn't include goals; simply accommodations. Should goals have been discussed/included???!!! Sounds like a lovely idea or should I write 'idea' as IDEA [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by PinkPoodle (edited August 22, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:28pm
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EB--I just reread your post, and I don't think I initially truly got the underhandedness with which your school is behaving. I don't think my response was very supportive. My apologies.
(Stomping Foot) Of all the slime ballin', controlling, yellow belly tricks to play . . . just completely going around the plan like that--and in a way that completely leaves your little guy out . . . it's sickening.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:52pm
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[b]gvmom -- this thread and its marvelous input, from all directions, is or will be pivotal for many of us in our PA journeys. THANK YOU.[/b]
If there ever needs to be a 'sticky' thread on a board, it's this one. The perspective offered within, the analogies. All of it....needed. It has felt good to take off the blinders, that is step one. Step two is up to each one of us, for our own unique situations.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:52pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Okay. The topic I cannot stay away from. I know that I cannot equate not sending in a safe treat box with the "peanut free" table at school but I'm going to anyway. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
How do you think my son felt, when starting at a new school, back in the "big city" (he was born here, but grew up in the country), when he was confronted with not only having to eat in a lunchroom but not in his classroom (previously, food was eaten in the classroom - so "peanut free" classrooms were done and again do-able - even if that word is no where to be found in a dictionary).
He is new to the school, new to the City (at least in the last town, when he did change schools he often ran into other children he knew who had also moved - similar Nomad like minded parents whatever [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] ), and he is placed, when is in in Grade 4, at a BENCH, in the lunchroom for Grade 7 and 8's.
My nieces just completed Grade 8 at this particular school and let's just say that their transition also back into "the city" has not been easy. They had a difficult enough time of it in Grades 6, 7, and 8, without being forced to sit away from their classmates and eat at a BENCH.
So, in Grade 4, he's sitting at a BENCH, with all of the other PA students (perhaps 7 or 8, various grades), and I can imagine what some of the Grade 7 or 8 kids had to say to them (or maybe they were completely ignored).
He doesn't get that social time to sit with his new classmates and interact with them at all at lunch-time. He's the type of child that has had a difficult go of it, and yes, I share some responsibility in that, having moved as much as we did.
When he mentioned the BENCH to me, I went in one day to find him sitting at the BENCH with only one other PA student, older than him. I asked the older PA student about it and he said that that was the way it had always been done and he was okay with it.
Also noting, that as far as I've seen, my son is the only one wearing an Epi-Belt.
Talk about wounding to one's psyche. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
Yes, it did happen for a whole year. When I spoke with the principal, she told me that she would try to work something out. When I spoke with Anaphylaxis Canada (our version of FAAN), they basically told me to grin and bear it.
Then, tonight I was thinking about different personalities of our children - my two kids are like day and night personality wise and I was thinking if one would have accepted the situation any better than the other. NO!
I guess my ? really has to be - if we are asking for "accommodations" for our PA children in the schools - aren't we doing kinda a half a$$ed job when we allow for certain things that shouldn't be allow-able?
The 504 Plan, as I understand it, outlines very clearly what foods are okay for celebrations in gvmom's children's classrooms.
So, in essence, the 504 Plan is to be adhered to, except.....
That makes NO sense to me.
Based on my own family's experience (including that of Ron's sister/husband and their three daughters), us all coming back to Toronto three years ago, only the two youngest children from each family made an easy transition (or relatively) into yet another new school and school in the "big city". It was hard. These were children that had spent 6 or 4 years in the country (and in the case of Ron's sister - her children did not change schools). ALL of them had a hard time making friends.
The two oldest of my nieces, never did - not because they're not personable, nice young ladies, but by the time they came back to Toronto, cliques had already been formed and they were left out (and they had gone to school in Toronto).
My point in all the rambling about family stuff is that none of the children (except, as I say, the youngest two - my daughter and my youngest niece), had an easy go of it. Can you imagine how my son felt when you add PA and a BENCH into the mix?
I remember an incident when toilet teaching my son. One thing I did *wrong*. I had encouraged him too loudly one day and that set him back for months. He does not like to be centered out; for any reason.
So, for me to have sent a safe treat box into school with him, no, that would have centered him out again. I worked with the school(s) so that he wouldn't be.
The other thing I was thinking earlier tonight was that I consider us to be living in the *real* world and from what erik has posted on this board, at the age of 40 (or so), he has lived in the *real* world with his PA and experienced I think, pretty much everything we all have, except eating peanuts.
So, this thing (I do have another word, but not a nice one) about sending in a safe treat box to show that your child has to do things differently in the *real* world doesn't wash with me at all. That they have to learn that they will be excluded. That they have to learn that there are certain foods that they cannot eat. ******* , they all know that already. Why have it re-inforced in an environment where it can be stopped (although perhaps for some not easily)? What is *wrong* with people that they would send that message to their children? How can you sit back and watch this happen and say that if they didn't have a safe treat box it is damaging their psyche?
NO! Telling them that someone else's birthday cupcake is more important than their emotional well-being and even moreso, their LIFE, well.......
I'll stop my diatribe. But every time I sit down to think, I just can't believe that people think that this is okay. Even when presented with the particular words in gvmom's 504 Plan.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/confused.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:47pm
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Quote:Originally posted by ajas_folks:
[b]
Keeping your posts (as they currently appear) there in full, but only addressing that you felt I took part of your original post out of context.
First of all, it was not my intention to "quote out of context" but to simply respond briefly to a specific part of your post which I interpreted to be a generalized comment, given my perceived tone of the entire post.
Additionally, with the "original" version of your follow-up post to mine (as I read it in its form on August 19th, but did not have time to respond), your reference to our method of "NO safe treat box" as being a [b] [i] Draconian approach [/i] [/b] led me to again perceive an intended "tone".
If I have horribly misinterpreted or misunderstood, I apologize.
~Eliz[/b]
Here for everyone's benefit is your quote out of context of my post:
Quote:quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by ceross:
Certainly, safeguards should be in place and if those are violated, I'll deal with them but asking for protections that would serve no purpose would only serve to make other families resent us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Insisting on a a basic, inclusive, and CONSISTENT policy of food if it's only completely safe for everyone is HARDLY asking for a protection that "serves no purpose"! We are talking about "special" celebrations and food in the classroom, NOT required meals and required daily nutrition. And if the BASIC purpose is to keep my son fundamentally ALIVE, then does that not serve a bonafide purpose??
I guess what I really want to know at this point is, when are WE as a food allergy community going to be willing to QUIT APOLOGIZING to EVERYBODY ELSE for INCONVENIENCING THEM with our OUR MEDICAL NEEDS?? W.H.E.N.???
I will take the resentment of 10,000,000 other families if it means my son comes home to me at the end of the school day ALIVE.
~Elizabeth
Here's the full portion of my quote you excised. Note it starts with "We" which means I was discussing our situation. It further goes on to discuss our rule for DD and food. I further reference "free of all her allergens" and say she wouldn't be allowed to eat it anyway. I'm not sure how a paragraph with so many specific references to our situation can be construed as a "generalized" comment. Yet it was used but only a sentence that could be inflammatory to make a point.
Quote:We also have a very simple rule for DD (who is 6): You don't eat anything not provided or checked by mommy/daddy. So forcing parents to bring in a celebratory snack free of all her allergens that she wouldn't be allowed to eat anyway wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to the other 24 kids in her class who do not have allergies. My daughter is one person and the world does not revolve around her even despite her allergies. Certainly, safeguards should be in place and if those are violated, I'll deal with them but asking for protections that would serve no purpose would only serve to make other families resent us.
My comment was not a general comment; it was specific to our situation. You snipped it to make a generalized comment. By all means make that comment but don't quote me out of context to do so.
As for the draconian remark, I edited because I did feel that was harsh. But certainly continue to have fun using the term at my expense. You talk about inclusion in your posts in regards to your child; however, you, gvmom, #1Mouser are rather exclusionary on the boards. You routinely put down thoughts are approaches that are not in lock-step with yours.
I understand that you have had horrendous experiences and reading about them is enlightening. As you so thoughtfully pointed out, I am a neophyte with dealing with this and you have certainly indicated that you feel I will likely be disabused of my optimism in the future. I guess I'd like to cling to that optimism.
You are entitled to feel that I am giving the school an out with the safe snack box. I see it differently by allowing a fallback in case a celebration "pops up" as routinely happens or the teacher fails to inform us of a celebration. (I'll deal with the teacher but that happens after the fact; at least the treat box resolves the issue at that moment and DD is truly not excluded.) At least DD will have something rather than have to sit there and gaze at her navel. I also do the treat box because as I've mentioned DD is not allowed to have anything her parents haven't provided; because she sees me prepare the treat box by reading labels and placing the items in the box, she knows it's safe and that alleviates some anxiety on her part. For me, I'm just not at a point that I would want to give up that control and I'd never feel comfortable letting her have something another parent brought even it it had an ingredient listing or came off the safe snack list. I just don't have that level of trust in other parents. Because of that, I'd always be sending something in for DD.
May I ask this question: Given the chicanery that parents at your child's school will go to to circumvent the, I would say, reasonable protections in place, would you trust them to bring in a safe snack for your child? Wasn't their a column posted on the board here in which the author talked about purposely disguising the ingredients of her child's day care snack so as to appear not to be in violation of the rules. Couldn't it be conceivable that a parent **** -bent on having the treat they want do a similar thing? To get into even more detail, wouldn't cupcakes bought at a store bakery technically be acceptable if they didn't have the allergen as an ingredient and didn't carry any may contain/cross contamination warnings? However, most of us here would find no cross-contamination warnings on those boxes to be highly dubious. What would happen if you nixed that treat for safety reasons (again, I think that would be the safest thing to do)? Wouldn't there be a further backlash?
Certainly food-free celebrations would be best, but I think that is an unlikely scenario in most school districts. (See the pragmatist in me trumps my optimism in that situation.) I think flying pigs were mentioned earlier.
I can see why you're so upset. I hope your approach works for you but I also hope that your son doesn't suffer more (because of retaliation or snide comments). Unfortunately, it sounds as if you are dealing with an incredibly selfish group of parents. I hope that their attitude does not trickle down to their children.
I would certainly say that I have been fortunate to have had understanding teachers, administrators, and fellow parents. It's not to say that everything has run smoothly but when there has been an issue, I have been fortunate enough that it was not motivated by malice on the part of the teacher as some of you have encountered. I will also add that I have been very luckly to have encountered almost no parents that have not been accommodating. I accompanied DD on a day care field trip to the zoo today and not one child had a lunch with peanut butter. As requested, every child had a nut free lunch. And guess what, they all managed to be happy and survive without peanut butter.
Our approaches are colored by our previous experiences and neither is wrong and both have the best of intentions at their core. In the 6 years of dealing with DD's allergies, I have been fortunate. I guess, according to you, I should be counting my lucky stars.
This may a bit OT but I'll share this: We changed DD's allergist to Dr. Robert Wood and saw him for the first time this year. I brought up the issue of obtaining a 504 for DD because their had been a couple of issues last year. He essentially said that the 504 is not going to make them any more compliant and I read into his comments that day that he probably felt it not necessary.
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:56pm
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IRT Dr. Woods comment... A 504 won't make them more compliant? Maybe not. More [i]accountable[/i]? Absolutely.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:04pm
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I am in the midst of drafting several letters

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:21pm
ceross's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
BTW, haven't you ever had to nix something? Do you allow Peanut products in the classroom? If somebody brought peanut butter cookies in, would that be okay with you because your child had a safe treat?
Just to answer your question: All classrooms with allergic children in them at DD's school are peanut and nut free and parents are requested not to bring in items with nuts. I attended all but one class party and spoke often with the class mother and none of the class parties had nut items in them. I happened to be there one day when there was a birthday party and the cupcakes did not have nuts (and were even egg free for religious reasons); however, I was not notified in advance of this birthday but the aide did pull a treat from DD's box for her (without any prompting from me). However, I can't say I knew of every birthday celebration in DD's class. BTW, birthday treats were eaten in the cafeteria not the classroom. So I have not been in a situation to nix a treat. I've actually more often been consulted prior to a party as was the case at DD's kindergarten enrichment/aftercare program last year or with field day this year at school when we were informed that popsicles would be given out; we brought one in for DD which was kept in the classroom freezer, in that situation even if we'd approved a popsicle there's always the possibility that they could run out and a substitution could be made after the fact. We've also been fortunate that since age 2, DD has been in day care and school centers/classrooms that are nut-free.
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 4:11pm
PinkPoodle's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b]Doesn

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 6:43pm
gvmom's picture
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It is 1:45 am, and I need a manila envelope!
WHERE ARE ALL OF MY MANILA ENVELOPES!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 6:47pm
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Well, it's 4:46 AM here & I have 4 sizes of manilla envelopes. Just can't change the 3000 miles they'd have to fly to get to you.
~Eliz

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 7:53pm
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Quote:Originally posted by ceross:
[b] Just to answer your question: All classrooms with allergic children in them at DD's school are peanut and nut free and parents are requested not to bring in items with nuts. I attended all but one class party and spoke often with the class mother and none of the class parties had nut items in them. I happened to be there one day when there was a birthday party and the cupcakes did not have nuts (and were even egg free for religious reasons); however, I was not notified in advance of this birthday but the aide did pull a treat from DD's box for her (without any prompting from me). However, I can't say I knew of every birthday celebration in DD's class. BTW, birthday treats were eaten in the cafeteria not the classroom. So I have not been in a situation to nix a treat. I've actually more often been consulted prior to a party as was the case at DD's kindergarten enrichment/aftercare program last year or with field day this year at school when we were informed that popsicles would be given out; we brought one in for DD which was kept in the classroom freezer, in that situation even if we'd approved a popsicle there's always the possibility that they could run out and a substitution could be made after the fact. We've also been fortunate that since age 2, DD has been in day care and school centers/classrooms that are nut-free.
[This message has been edited by ceross (edited August 23, 2007).][/b]
It's not hard to be optimistic when everything is running smoothly. I don't know of to many parents with PA children who have never had to "nix" something in the classroom. Standing there with the teacher staring at you..."sorry this will have to be sent home, it contains peanuts...see the warning label...in bold?" Then leaving the classroom feeling very grateful you were there to catch the mistake. This happened to me several times last year. Yes, indeed, you are lucky.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:04am
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So seriously, I am about to puke. I literally feel sick to my stomach. Ready to just burst into tears. I can't say everything. But buried in this thread, I will say the following. For those of you, treading along comfortably. And for those of you drowning like me.
In addition to.... all the other loveliness.... we just found out that the new Principal has a child that is PA. The way they found out was through a reaction that landed their kid in the ER. They do not have an Epi-pen. Their doctor has told them that their child might even be able to try peanuts again.
We yell about FAAN. And I agree with it. But I am going to add the AAAAI to it.
What is wrong with doctors out there? Forget about what it does in general to us as a community when doctors and allergists blow off hospital worthy reactions.... but what the &*&k are they doing? That kids life is in jeopardy.
We as a community should be even more angry at the medical community that can't get it's act together.... for the sake of saving children's lives.... and tell parents that their kids could die, understand the seriousness of these allergies, and get people to carry Epi-pens.
What is wrong with these doctors?
I am sick right now. I am angry. Furious really, for a multitude of reasons. But I am also just so worried that there is a child, right now, that doesn't have an Epi-pen that absolutely needs it.
I know eventually, I will get to the part where I start to see how even more screwed we are. It is there in the back of my head.... but at the moment, I am just shocked for that child. And mad at the medical community.
I hope you are counting your lucky stars....

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:10am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I always remember being a member that wished I could be like other members and NOT have to use the Schools section of the board to get help/advice/support. I know a LOT of our members where they have schools where things run smoothly for their PA children. I always wished I could be one of them. I never was. It wasn't my son's fault. It wasn't my fault. It just was.
The thing I continue to NOT understand is why it would be okay for one part of gvmom's 504 Plan to be violated and not other parts? If it's written down; agreed to; the food in the classroom part (which is very clearly written) is the same as any other segment of the 504 Plan. Again, I continue to NOT understand. Especially when it is a legally binding document. My son's written school plan is only a set of "guidelines" for the school to work from, and yet they do.
gvmom, I do like the homeless analogy (that's a whole other long story about my last field trip with my children's school), but look what happened in my instance even.
Changing schools for Grade 3 and a principal deciding that he could throw the written school plan out the window. The teacher had the same attitude. But I did get those unsafe treats out of the classroom at the Christmas party regardless.
With very clear words - no harsh, not witchy, not horrible - simply clear.
Did I get that jelly bean jar out of the classroom that year? No. But the jelly bean jar was discussed with my son and how he felt about it.
If I had tried to get the jelly bean jar out of the classroom, I do suspect that I would have been asked to take both children out of the school by that idiot of a principal.
But that jelly bean jar was certainly among the many things that was going to be placed in the OHRC complaint (again, didn't file it, very ashamed EVEN TO THIS DAY).
I think some PA parents have been very fortunate - I know I started a thread a few years ago about people who had *good* experiences with their school and again, I always wish I could have been one of them. I wasn't.
When my son started school, I was apparently the parent of the first ever PA parent. So, I did whatever it was to get him into school and all inclusively (without any knowledge whatsoever from PA.com or OHRC or anything - just basic ideas of what life *should* be like).
When I came upon a BENCH situation - yes, it did take a year to get it resolved - again, yes, I dealt with it. Other PA parents/children were okay with it. We weren't.
ceross, I don't think anyone meant for this to be an argument and I apologize if you felt that I was one of the people that centered out that one line of your post. I am really happy for you that things do work at your child's school. I really, truly am.
A Canadian thing perhaps, but do you know how SHOCKED I was when my son couldn't attend the first day of school (in Grade 3) to find out that other people in my Province had experienced the same thing? SHOCKED! I didn't think it happened in Canada. I read about it so often happening in America and what he$$ my American friends went through to get their PA children through the door of the school and yet, yes, here it was happening in my Province as well (and at a school board district not far from mine at the time).
If it was all smooth sailing for all of us - then no, you wouldn't see people "rocking the boat"; being advocates (that sounds like a dirty word here nowadays); speaking about inclusion/exclusion and human rights. If your child was being treated the way he/she *should* be treated.
I believe it was nutternomore, very early on in this thread that mentioned children with visible physical disabilities and how it took a couple of decades to really get things in place for them. I think the majority of us would be SHOCKED (PA parent or not) if we saw a visibly physically disabled child EXCLUDED from some school activity.
Yet, it's okay for our kid?
(Jeez, now I wish I had been in contact with The Cupcake Queens all summer and I could have made the Fun Fair "safe" for this Fall - I am a wimp - this thread, in itself has revitalized my thoughts at least and for that I am thankful; even if what I have to say has nothing to do with the price of tea in China).
To-day's recommendation again, would be to check out [url="http://www.cbc.ca"]www.cbc.ca[/url] and watch Rick Mercer.
Oh, and kinda OT, but not really, I watched the Power of 10 last night and I was shocked by some of the answers. Don't know if Canadians would be collectively shocked, but this Canadian was, so yes, there is a difference between our countries for sure. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:15am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I guess the biggest thing, for me, is how many times to I have to apologize to my PA son for wrongs done to him at school? I'm sorry. And hear, it's okay Mama. HOW MANY TIMES?
Whenever he said (or says), it's okay, Mama, I always tell him NO, Jesse it is NOT okay. It is NOT OKAY.
I'll try to edit previous post for spelling errors later.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:53am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

ohhhhhhhhh.... gvmom. That is NOT GOOD.
But really-- we were seen in the ER and left with only instructions to give DD [i]benadryl[/i] for the next 24 hours. She was almost entirely unresponsive during the initial portion of that reaction, and this is the advice we were given. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img]
No epipen, no nothing. We were [i]LUCKY[/i] that our then pediatrician had just recently come from an ER stint in Kansas City-- he KNEW what we were describing. He had the [i]sense[/i] to call a board certified allergist to ask for immediate advice. MANY PEDIATRICIANS DON'T. All this to say that I don't know that AAAAI is at fault there. Because it probably wasn't one of their members that did it. Just a GP who didn't know enough to know what he doesn't know.
I'm definitely not unconcerned about an obviously PA child without an epipen. But frankly, I'm MUCH more concerned about how difficult this is going to make things FOR YOU. (I already [i]know[/i] you... so it's personal, you know?)
And FWIW, I have a favorites folder on my computer that says "allergy info" and the first folder inside it? "OCR complaints."
I [i]fervently HOPE[/i] I will never need it. But I am not so naive as to think that it [i]can't[/i] happen to me. Or anyone else. (Well.... Cindy excepted... she can't contact OCR, being one of them there Candadians, eh?)
Just {{hugs}} gvmom. That is so awful that I am having trouble processing it, too. (right along with cupcakes brought into PE) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:54am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

And yes, how the changing of school administration can have a profound effect on what happens. (I hate starting sentences with and).
As an example, I finally got the IEP process started for my son when he entered Grade 4. What happens? The person in charge, at the school, is the vice principal. We have a new vice principal each and every year.
That first year, what it meant was the request for one particular assessment was lost. When I asked about it, things had to be started from square one again and that really meant a one year longer wait for that one assessment. We finally got it done this year (Grade 6) and have to work out the ramifications of that assessment (the school's request for a couple of specialists' appointments, etc.) for this coming year. Lost in the shuffle. Back to square one. While my child suffers (to some degree).
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 2:58am
Adele's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/31/2005 - 09:00

gvmom.....all the more reason then, for you to keep on your path. You have the opportunity to educate the principal while you're at it and maybe save her child in the process.
Full steam ahead. Hang in there!

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:03am
McCobbre's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

[quote]Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] All this to say that I don't know that AAAAI is at fault there. Because it probably wasn't one of their members that did it. Just a GP who didn't know enough to know what he doesn't know.[/b]
I wouldn't bet on it. The kiddo who lived across the street from us had PA, "oh, but not very bad--she only gets diarrhea and throws up a little." Her ALLERGIST told her mom the same blasted thing. Same thing: she may be able to eat peanuts--should probably try some every now and then. I recommended my allergist. I fantasized about leaving an Epi there after DS came home so she'd have one on hand just in case (didn't--although anther neighbor friend's house had permanent Epi Kit there---oops, still there [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ). The standards of care in our country are [i]all over the place.[/i] It weakens our credibility--and more importantly, it increases the risk for all children--even ours.
[b]
I'm definitely not unconcerned about an obviously PA child without an epipen. But frankly, I'm MUCH more concerned about how difficult this is going to make things FOR YOU.[/b]
Just echoing this--couldn't have said it differently but just wanting to offer my support here.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:04am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Oh, GGA, gvmom. I was posting at the same time as you were about your new principal with the PA child.
Okay, since I'm Canadian (Corvallis Mom, in my Province, I contact The Ontario Human Rights Commission [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] ), how much a part of your 504 Process is the principal?
I had been thinking that perhaps one of the reasons I have been relatively fortunate (relatively being the key word - please remember that Fun Fair - an again, I'm a wimp), is that my principal has a bee sting allergy and does have an Epi-Pen. So, she kinda (kinda) "gets it".
My thoughts and prayers (atheist as they may be) are with you and your family because all I can think right now is GGA.
Although, I do agree with Adele.
{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:09am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

McCobbre, I agree about the allergist. Look at what the allergist had to say to Jesse and I when he tested positive to tree nuts. A well reputed, long practicing allergist.
gvmom, no wonder you feel like puking. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:14am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Corvallis Mom, separate kinda from the topic at hand, but in Grade 3, that's what pi$$es me off, I had each and every thing documented on the computer - dates, incidents, etc. I had the paperwork sent to me to file the complaint. Then, I never filed it. TO THIS DAY, I am angry with myself for not filing it.
My reasoning at the time? Oh, we're leaving this town anyway and hopefully going back to a city with more PA *customers* that will be more understanding.
I wish I had filed the complaint, regardless of us leaving that school district, just so that no other PA child would ever have to experience what my son did in 3rd Grade.
I had everything ready to go. I even had a year to file the complaint. I didn't do it. I am ashamed and angry to this day - three years later.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:22am
Adele's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/31/2005 - 09:00

quoting myself:
[b] gvmom.....all the more reason then, for you to keep on your path. You have the opportunity to educate the principal while you're at it and maybe save her child in the process.
Full steam ahead. Hang in there! [/b]
gvmom - I suspect I am very naive about these matters.
{{{{{{{ BIG HUG }}}}}}}}}}
[This message has been edited by Adele (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:25am
notnutty's picture
Offline
Joined: 03/15/2004 - 09:00

gvmom: Gosh...not even sure what to say to help...perhaps there is nothing. But [i]know[/i] that we are all pulling for you and sending you good luck.
Nothing worse than someone who [i]thinks[/i] they are experts when it comes to your child's allergy.
Just know you are on the right path to doing what is fundamentally [i]right[/i].
[This message has been edited by notnutty (edited August 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2007 - 3:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Quote:Originally posted by notnutty:
[b]Just know you are on the right path to doing what is fundamentally [i]right[/i].
[/b]
As gvmom herself might say, "worth repeating".
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

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