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Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 1:07am
ajas_folks's picture
Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Oops. Dbl post buffoonery.
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited August 12, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 1:24am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by lilpig99:
[b] It sure is fun to be our little ones, always missing out, over and over. Ostracised in a way.
What does one do to change it?
I don't know what to tell you, besides love your children unconditionally, be strong for them, and show them they are special to YOU. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] People can't take that away or eat it in front of you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] I'm 39 and not much has changed. When your family unit is what's special, not much else matters in the long run. You get through. At least I did.

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 1:37am
ajas_folks's picture
Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Just wanted to note in this thread (have talked about it[i] ad nauseum[/i] elsewhere on boards) -- I believe food has ZERO place in the classroom unless it is truly being used as a teaching tool -- i.e. cultural study of different culture or peoples. There should be NO treat jars (food treats) given by teacher nor should there be ANY birthday celebrations for individual persons. Those belong at home/elsewhere with individual families & those they choose to invite, not in the classroom on the classroom's time, the taxpayer's dime, or on exorbitant tuition paid for private school.
Food-free classroom is my dream classroom for our son.
Mother to 2:
DD age 5, NKA, treated as though PA/TNA
DS age 8, PA, possible TNA, Latex, legumes?
(PA diagnosed & ana reaction 1999)
Member here since 2000
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited August 12, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 1:59am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

ajas_folks, I totally agree with you about food in the classroom. It ties in my *entitlement* thinking that I still can't clarify (and doesn't need clarification for this thread anyway).
I didn't have PA.com when Jesse started school, so I didn't know what other parents did. I wouldn't even have thought about a safe treat box for my son. I also didn't have Jesse's written school plan for JK either - it was another member of PA.com that wrote that.
So, it started working in JK, but how? We had a letter sent out saying that there was a PA child in the classroom and that all food being sent in for snacks and lunch had to be peanut free, including no may contains.
Jesse's teacher, at that time, admitted to me that she was scared to death to have a PA child in her class (he was the only *known* PA child at the school at this time).
So, I think it was the "peanut free" classroom (the posters wouldn't even have come until later because again, no PA.com) and the teacher's diligence (out of fear?) that kept stuff out of the classroom.
Way back when, when I still believed in homemade treats going into the classroom, I would actually make a batch of carrot muffins and take them in for no reason at all. My ideas about my children (PA or not) eating homemade food have changed considerably since then, believe me.
So, for SK, I'd have to check dates - I'm not clear if I had the computer for the beginning of SK or not. Same "peanut free" classroom with no "may contains". This was the year where I was adamant that *inclusion* meant ANY and EVERY school event, including after school events (or before school programs even) and that's when I worked to have a "peanut free" Fun Fair (with a LOT of help from people here).
I obviously had the teacher's co-operation, and more importantly, the principal's. We even had "safe" ice cream.
It was at that point that the principal began talking about having a "reduce the risk" school for the next year (Grade 1 for Jess). He did go to that school for two months before we moved from that small town to a larger small town.
Oh, sorry, in SK, we also had a newspaper article done in the local newspaper educating people about PA and about my son specifically (with his permission).
I also gave the teacher in SK, any newsletters I got from FAAN and when she was finished with them, they went into the school library.
At the end of SK, that was when I did the BE A PAL certificate, sticker, and Alexander the Elephant Who Couldn't Eat Peanuts colouring book at the end of the school year.
Sorry, also, for SK I would have provided the Safe Snack and Lunch List and I am not clear if that was available to me for JK as well (since it was not from PA.com that I got it).
How do I explain that people just "got it"?
Not that there weren't little rough patches along the way (everything has been posted here), but they did.
Okay, Grade One - totally different school district. "Peanut free" classroom again also with no "may contains". Safe Snack and Lunch List sent home along with a letter about the "peanut free" classroom. Again, a young teacher - and she did turn away anything unsafe at the door.
Oh, sorry, for JK, SK, and Grade One, all food going into the classroom (since the class was "peanut free") was checked by an E.A. (educational aide) to make sure that it was safe to go into the classroom.
For special occasions (not birthdays), I would go in and physically check everything myself.
Okay, so that's the years that it was really do-able. Two different school districts. More information certainly presented to the community in the second year Jess was in school, but no, they just "got it".
I'll come back in later with the other grades (less successful, more hair tearing out kinda).
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 3:02am
Sarahb's picture
Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by BS312:
[b]How is your child being excluded if he could have a treat that you've sent in? The bottom line is that he would have a treat (who really cares where it came from as long as it is safe?) and he would not be excluded. Maybe you are the one feeling "excluded" because the school is not doing what you want them to do.
Not to send him a safe treat sounds like a passive-aggressive attempt to get the school to do what you want ...perhaps at the expense of your child's feelings. [/b]
I kind of agree...even though I think the discussion is totally valid and interesting.
I don't know...I'm pretty new at this...but I think much of what our kids feel about this comes from us and what we teach them and how WE feel about it. And I think sometimes from what I have read and the people (moms) that I have talked to we seem kind of schizophrenic about it. We downplay food celebrations and then make a stink if our kid has something different. If we really think that food celebrations should be or need to be downplayed for our sanity and more importantly to show our children how to navigate in life without always focusing on food - which for them will result in a lot of exclusion way past the point (age range) of 504's - so we say to them...hey you can't have this...but you can have that...and we make "that" as good as we can...and sometimes it wont be as good and sometimes it will be better and then we move on.
My son got a chocolate coin and a childrens show yesterday. What in the world could I substitue a for coin that came out of a treasure chest? Nothing will be as good as that coin. Oh well.
But then at bedtime...DH decided to tell DS that the tooth fairy would probably want that coin - so he came up with some story and this morning there were 4 quarters in place of the coin. Ds hasn't found them yet. It should be fun.
I'm all for bans...I'm all for fighting for our rights. But I think we have to be careful not to do our children a disservice in the meantime. And we need to teach them that they are different and that's ok.

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 3:14am
Sarahb's picture
Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

ajas_folks - I just read your post. My post sounds like a direct repsonse to yours - and it wasn't. I hadn't read the whole thread.
I'm sorry about your situation. PA just sucks and we are all trying to get through it safe and whole. I just didn't want you to think that I was responding to you post in what may have sounded very cold.
I think a lot of what comes into play that none of us can control is how our community responds. I think that even though I have a pig headed teacher or two the majority of our community is very supportive and educated.

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 3:23am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Sarah, I once did my son a GREAT disservice by not filing a complaint with The Ontario Human Rights Commission for a YEAR of torture we went through at his school in Grade Three. I even told him that. I told him that what had happened to him that year was NOT okay and that I was very sorry but due to circumstances at the time, I was not in a position to follow through and file the complaint.
I don't think asking for inclusion of your child with regard to food (especially since everyone seems so food obsessed and I'm not clear why), is doing your child a disservice.
I think the thing that is irritating to me (there was something else similar on the board once, but I can't remember what it was) is that I have seen it done and done successfully and without repercussion.
I don't think what gvmom is presenting is not do-able (or I wouldn't spend time in the thread telling her how I found it to be do-able), and that's it again. I know it is do-able. Without harming my child's psyche. Perhaps even showing my child that yes, I am willing to fight for this because exclusion is wrong. Exclusion is not okay.
Perhaps I'm not getting something. I don't know. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/confused.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
There but for the Grace of God, go I.
[This message has been edited by Alternative to Mainstream (edited August 12, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 3:24am
gvmom's picture
Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

Going back to address a bunch of stuff (and this is long

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 3:33am
gvmom's picture
Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

[b]I don't think what gvmom is presenting is not do-able (or I wouldn't spend time in the thread telling her how I found it to be do-able), and that's it again. I know it is do-able. Without harming my child's psyche. Perhaps even showing my child that yes, I am willing to fight for this because exclusion is wrong. Exclusion is not okay.[/b]
The problem is that the means of exclusion for our children is through food. If our children were in wheel chairs, or had a other health impairment that didn't involve ingesting food, would we gloss over the exclusion in the same manner?
Do you teach your children that exclusion is okay by sanctioning it for them, or trying to make it not as harsh by providing safe treats?
Honestly, my kids have gone to other birthday parties outside of school. They have gone with safe cupcakes in tow... and they don't end up eating them. Not because they are embarassed, or feel bad. It is because they are busy playing and don't really care about food as much as other kids. But they are also among their peers who might pass by the party food too because the venue allows them to not feel like food is the essential part of the activity. It is only part. Not the whole. So big deal.
In school, stuck at your desk, with allocated time, that food becomes the focus. The primary activity. EVERYONE is expected to partake.
There is a big difference.
Edited to add, that it also is important for me, personally, to show my sons that standing up for what you believe in is important. Who you are, what you believe in, and if you live your life according to those things, is all you really have. When you look into a mirror, what do you think about that person looking back at you?
[This message has been edited by gvmom (edited August 12, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 4:01am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b]My children are learning lots of things there.[/b]
I don't doubt it. I've always said there were some lessons I'd never be able to teach them, nor provide the environment they occur in, myself. Especially a lot of those that have to do with human nature.
Quote:[b]And if this year I add passive-aggressive to my list of things I must employ



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