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Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 8:27am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b]
So, does that mean if the conditions of your children

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 8:43am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by gvmom:
[b]Will you inform them that your children won

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 8:54am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by kelly01:
[b] I feel that comparing this to "back of the bus" is like apples to oranges. African Americans were told to go to the back of the bus, based solely on their skin color. My child declines a treat because 'he' knows it will make him sick...I don't see these two things as being equal.
Again, interesting discussion. I can see the thought process behind it...
Kelly[/b]
Actually, I think it [i]is[/i] similar. Sure, my child could partake anyway. She knows there would be consequences-- severe ones. She instead is offered something that is [i]separate AND inherently UNEQUAL[/i] to what her peers have.
But when we smile and say, "Oh, that's okay....it didn't really matter...I'll make up for it later..." then we are just allowing it to continue. Tacit approval, even-- you know?
My child is being segregated [i]solely on the basis of her hidden disability.[/i] How is it different?
It is the same, genteel exclusion with a smiley face sticker put on it. I don't see much difference between a 'colored drinking fountain' and a 'snack box.' Those not bearing the brunt of the exclusion (and a few who are, but would like to pretend that it doesn't matter) will shrug and say-- "Yes, but you get to have a drink-- oh, I mean 'treat,' so where's the problem??"
I think it is high time for ME to stop soothing my child with platitudes that she knows are nothing but sugar-coated lies. It [i]isn't[/i] right, and nothing I can say about people's intentions will make it so for her. She [i]knows[/i] that most adults don't care whether she lives or dies. How many other sunny 8 yo kids [i]really KNOW[/i] that about the world they live in? This isn't about shielding her from reality. That [i]is[/i] her reality. I'd just like to prevent her being [i]tortured[/i] by that sort on a regular basis.

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 8:59am
gvmom's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

Mouser, I think on your last two posts you are reading something into my tone. I'm not shaking a finger at you.... I'm inquiring.
I'll have to wade back through..... to find what you said about the circumstances facing you right this moment with respect to the district. That is what is prompting my questions.
I think you are reading a bit too much belligerance into my questions. I'm not trying to be an antagonist.
Of all people I would have figured to really get where I'm coming from it actually would be you... especially because you DID keep your child out of school.
And as for my district? Absolutely. They know.
My older son keeps mentioning that he doesn't want to go back to school.... I keep telling him to be careful what he wishes for. Thinking all the while that he is closer to having a wish come true than he knows.
It is a tough thing to balance. Trying to gear two kids up for school... one who has never been before. Never been away from either DH or I. All the while though, knowing that the big work up will be for naught come the first day.
Today's Tuesday. 8 working days left. I'm not banking on ANYTHING.
[This message has been edited by gvmom (edited August 14, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 9:08am
gvmom's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

[b]I don't know if there is a school nurse hired yet, I don't know if they found an aide, I don't know if there is even *the* classroom I was promised. That was agreed upon in the IEP. What do I know?[/b]
That is what I had in the back of my head.
And I'm questioning not to be a jerk, but those are things that I think should be answered, or known, before we send our kids to school, if we are talking about holding schools to "Standard of Care" ... and their IEP's/504's......

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 9:20am
gvmom's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

[b]Are you saying I should go in, in advance of the beginning of the year, and wag my finger in the face of administration saying: You better not mess with me?[/b]
Oh, I'm sure this'll get the post police on me... can't remember what number I'm up to... but....
Not that you go wag your finger, but that any administration that has entered into an IEP/504 with someone should absolutely be able to tell them if the measures held within the agreement will be ready for implementation on DAY 1.
I know this is pie in the sky, but theoretically speaking, they should be able to tell you, answer questions about, anything you want to throw at them about your child's IEP/504 before school starts -- especially if they expect to have stuff in place and ready for your child when they expect them to show up, so they can collect their check.
Again, this is my new and improved approach. It is communicated more diplomatically by DH. Remember, I'm the one ready to wear activist t-shirts of my own design.

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 9:57am
gvmom's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

Throwing all caution to the wind, and risking being labeled a serial poster, I thought this was well worth a repeat:
[b]Actually, I think it is similar. Sure, my child could partake anyway. She knows there would be consequences-- severe ones. She instead is offered something that is separate AND inherently UNEQUAL to what her peers have.
But when we smile and say, "Oh, that's okay....it didn't really matter...I'll make up for it later..." then we are just allowing it to continue. Tacit approval, even-- you know?
My child is being segregated solely on the basis of her hidden disability. How is it different?
It is the same, genteel exclusion with a smiley face sticker put on it. I don't see much difference between a 'colored drinking fountain' and a 'snack box.' Those not bearing the brunt of the exclusion (and a few who are, but would like to pretend that it doesn't matter) will shrug and say-- "Yes, but you get to have a drink-- oh, I mean 'treat,' so where's the problem??"
I think it is high time for ME to stop soothing my child with platitudes that she knows are nothing but sugar-coated lies. It isn't right, and nothing I can say about people's intentions will make it so for her. She knows that most adults don't care whether she lives or dies. How many other sunny 8 yo kids really KNOW that about the world they live in? This isn't about shielding her from reality. That is her reality. I'd just like to prevent her being tortured by that sort on a regular basis.[/b]
CM.... brilliantly put.

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 10:55am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I agree with Corvallis Mom. It *is* a back of the bus thing; it is a hidden versus visual physical disability thing. If exclusion happened to a child that had a visible physical disability, all he** would break loose nowadays (as it well should). Our particular school has children with visible physical disabilities bus-ed into it and I have seen remarkable things done to make sure that the children are included (swimming lessons, skating lessons).
There could be the attitude, that oh, well, this child can't walk, he should know that he can't walk, why have him partake in swimming or skating? Um, so he is not excluded from participating in the same thing as his classmates are doing. And I do believe there would be holy he** to pay if he was seated on the sidelines.
So, why should it be any different for our children with a hidden physical disability and one that could KILL them?
gvmom, as far as I can tell (and remembering I know NOTHING about 504 Plans), if it's written in your 504 Plan that there is to be no food in the classroom then there is to be no food in the classroom. If you have gone so far as to have thought about special occasions (as you have) and have stipulated what is allowed, then that is what should be allowed. Nothing else. End of story.
How to enforce it? Easier said than done by the sounds of it. But when push came to shove in Grade 3 with my guy, I did threaten - I will take him out of school if you don't remove that food and I will file a complaint.
Is there a letter going home saying it is a "peanut free" classroom? If there is a letter going home, does it stipulate that if there are going to be birthday party (or other) celebrations, food for that party has to be _________?
Here, when we receive a letter saying that a class is "peanut free", there is a rip-off part at the bottom of the paper where you have to acknowledge that yes, you have read the letter and you have to sign it. Doesn't mean that you are agreeing to do what the letter is asking, but they want you to acknowledge that you at least read the letter and you have to return the signed part to the school.
No, based on the extensive wording of your 504 Plan, I would not be sending in a treat box either.
I wanted to show my son that although he did have a LTFA and perhaps (perhaps) we wouldn't be able to do some stuff in life (not that much actually), as far as when it came to him going to school, he would be INCLUDED. End of story.
That his life was more important to me than another kid's birthday cupcake. And that hopefully (yes, hope), his life was more important to other people than their children's birthday cupcakes that they could very well eat at home.
Life has changed so much since I was a kid. We didn't have this big to-do on our birthdays at school. That's where I'm getting this whole *entitlement* thing I'm pondering in my head (along with other stuff that has been going on). What happened to the days when you simply celebrated by having a birthday party or if you didn't have a birthday party you had a celebratory dinner with your family?
Oh, and to make me mean mom + - I have never sent things in to the school for my kids' birthdays period (even non-food items).
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 11:50am
kelly01's picture
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Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

I guess I don't really see my sons allergy as a disability. (Again, not arguing with those that do, just don't see it for our family). I just can't equate not being able to eat a cupcake with not being able to walk or see, etc. Yes, it is unfortunate and sometimes unfeeling...but I just don't feel the two things are remotely equal.
I can see the point that would be made by not providing safe treats, I just think that it is the pendulum (sp?) swinging too far to the other side. Maybe it is taking food-which admittedly is around school WAY too much (for the record I am not a cupcake crazy mom myself) and giving it even more power.
(Just my .02, fully realize that others disagree!).
Regards,
Kelly

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 12:53pm
Sarahb's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Alternative to Mainstream:
[b]I agree with Corvallis Mom. It *is* a back of the bus thing; it is a hidden versus visual physical disability thing.
[/b]
This makes it sound like being black is a physical disability. ????
Honestly I think the comparrison is a real stretch. Compare to a kid in wheelchair is one thing...but to racial discrimination doesn't follow with me. I'll ask Dh what he thinks....he rode on the back of the bus. (he is white but was with his parent's maid on shopping trips to Birmingham, AL - in the late 50's and she was black)

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