how to respond to rude treatment at restaurant

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My family and I went out for breakfast on Father's Day. When ordering blueberry pancakes, which we felt would likely be safe for our peanut-allergic 4-year-old, I informed waitress about his allergy and asked her to double-check about peanut or tree nut ingredients. She came back from the kitchen saying that cooks told her they were too busy to check. When we asked for the manager, waitress returned and told us that manager had checked ingredients herself and yes, in fact there were peanuts in batter. My guess is they just said this to avoid liability. We were very upset at such callous disregard (couldn't be bothered even to confirm or deny presence of ingredients?!) and now I am wondering the best way to handle the incident. I will write to the owner of the restaurant, but am wondering what steps others may have taken after such an event. Also wondering on advice on peoples' experiences on most effective ways to go out to eat (always call ahead? Give cook a card with allergies explained? Just never go?...)

Our son was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago but sometimes I feel like I am just absorbing how much potential danger he is in.... it can feel scary and overwhelming. Nice to read everyone's posts and feel I am not the only one worrying out here.

Thanks in advance for your responses-

On Jun 22, 2001

Itsmith -

I always call in advance at a time when I know the restaurant won't be busy - mid-afternoon, 2 or 3 pm, is usually pretty slow. I always ask to speak to a manager. So far I've had very good results, everyone is always more than willing to help and they seem to go out of their way to find out for sure if their food is safe - even if that means checking with suppliers of ingredients or the national headquarters of a chain.

But just because someone is busy is no excuse for the kind of treatment you received.

Hope this helps and welcome to the board!

Jackie

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