How do you relax?

Posted on: Sat, 01/26/2002 - 11:45am
LaurensMom's picture
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Joined: 05/23/2001 - 09:00

We've been having a tough time lately. PA, asthma, flu after flu (good thing we all had those flu shots!)...no sleep since Halloween...it's been rough.

With all that has been going on I cannot seem to relax. Even when I am sitting with my favorite tea and a good book, my mind still has PA in the back of it. I need 30 minutes a day to myself when I release from this PA world...for myself and for Lauren...to keep my sanity and rejuvinate myself. DH is completely and totally wonderful with helping out (does more than his fair share!) but is stressed to the max too with seemingly no way to relax.

On a daily basis, how do you relax and, just as important, how do to find the time to be able to fit this into your day? Any time saving tricks so that you can make it fit? How much time do you really need to yourself?

Andrea

Posted on: Sun, 01/27/2002 - 5:54am
williamsmummy's picture
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Joined: 03/26/2002 - 09:00

hello,
one,
Have a nice bath with a chilled glass of wine ...a good easy to read book ....a chilled bar of your favourite choccy. Lots of smelly candles and bubble bath. (dont spend time shaveing hairs of legs or armpits....or anything else....it requires too much thought and a steady hand. Try to relax shoulders that do get tense with the word allergy...peanuts...or in my case ....eggs kiwifruit...baked beans .....well food really.
Two .
try to get a babysitter and go out with hubby, or partner, talk about any thing but allergy(this is hard) unless its important. Make this time for you both, forget the kids .....but dont forget the mobile phone. try the movies , because a good film and popcorn does take your mind of things....if not the film , the way your hand is running up your chap's thigh! ( certain activies are very good for reliveing stress....well thats my excuse) .
Three.
take one day at a time, the stress over allergies does rise to a peak and fall. It does take time and there are no easy ways to attain this. However, many of us on this board have been there and indeed are still sitting on this peak , waiting for its grip to lesson. This web site does help in many ways , but sometimes too much info can cause more stress. It has been a while since my son had his last worrying reaction and its taken nearly a year for me to feel relaxed after this incident. Try to think of all the adults that were children with severe allergy and are now grown up. They are out there, living life to the full with jobs and familys. Many are members of this board.
Good luck
sarah

Posted on: Mon, 01/28/2002 - 12:12pm
Mir's picture
Mir
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Joined: 02/12/2001 - 09:00

Hi, Andrea. I've been away from the board for quite some time, so I don't really know how new you are to all of this or where you are in your journey, but I'll toss this out, anyway. When my son was first diagnosed, during the completely-flipping-out period (as we now wryly refer to it) there seemed to be a lot of other life events going on that were stressful... and even though my mind kept going back to the PA stuff... I assumed it was just the stress of life in general manifesting itself that way. At some point I realized that no, actually it was the anxiety over the PA making everything else seem really dire as well.
Soooo... I went to counselling for a while. And I _thought_ I went to counselling to figure out how to relax, but it turned out that I went to vent all my fears and anxiety about whether I could handle everything and protect my son and see him grow up safely. I happened to really luck out and by complete serendipity ended up with a counselor who had a grown son with PA. (Someone was watching over me!) I only went for a few months but it really helped me cope.
Since then, on a much more general level, I've applied a few rules to my life. I go out and do something just for me at least one night a week. For a while it was exercise but at the moment I'm taking a class, which is good too. At least once a month I have a night of total frivolity "out with the girls." My husband and I try to have a date once a week, even though it's usually at home... we rent a movie and have a nice dinner after the kids are in bed or whatever.
Everyone has to find what works for them... all I can say is that it's normal to feel completely discombobulated for a while, but try to formulate a plan whereby you can start feeling more in control.
Miriam

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