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Posted on: Fri, 01/19/2001 - 6:55am
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Anonymous (not verified)

SharonA. - Pardon my ignorance, but I have to ask. What are smoked meats? Is this a Canadian expression for stuff like Corned Beef & Pastrami?
Amy, the ignorant American

Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2001 - 1:56pm
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Anonymous (not verified)

To-day, I had to go grocery shopping on what I consider an EXTREMELY tight budget. Now, I usually am on a tight budget grocery shopping anyway, but I have always managed to buy name brand, "safe" products for our home.
Sometimes when I'm shopping, and I check a label on a new cookie or something I think the kids might like, I'm ticked off when I find it's "unsafe" but I don't really let it bother me. It's just a way of life and I'm quite used to it. I would rather have less food in my home and know that it is "safe" than to buy more and have "unsafe" food in my home.
Anyway, to-day, it was an extremely bad day for me to go shopping on a tight budget, I guess. As it turns out, I did my shopping through the store, no problem, got all the things I felt I could get, no extras.
When I got to the check-out counter, there was a woman in front of me. I don't know what her financial status is and I don't care. All I could see was that her WHOLE cart was full of store brand/no name products that I knew were in some instances quite a bit cheaper than what I was buying.
To top it off, she had been able to purchase "unsafe" Chips Ahoy Christmas cookies and "unsafe" Goody cookies (Toy Story, Dinosaur and another kids' theme) for $1.00 a box. A really good deal. I think she had about ten boxes of cookies on the counter. I didn't have any cookies for my kids to-day.
This isn't a whoa is me, I couldn't buy cookies for my kids to-day thing. I was just so, I don't know, feeling SO badly about being on the limited budget and then seeing that the woman in front of me was probably able to purchase almost twice as much as me or at least 1/3 more, and not just cookies, for her family as I was able to.
Yes, I'm responsible for the limited budget in some way. And my children do get "safe" cookies. I do have good food in my house and every bit of it is "safe".
I never begrudge one extra penny I have to spend to ensure Jesse's safety. I would rather eat nothing myself to make sure he is safe. But to-day, it just got to me.
It was hard enough going out doing the shop in the first place, knowing the limited funds. I probably would have been okay if I hadn't seen that woman. And, I know it isn't her fault and it's really no big deal, but that is how PA affected my day to-day.
I just feel sad. And I'm not clear about what.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2001 - 2:13pm
Diane's picture
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Joined: 12/15/1999 - 09:00

Cindy, I'm soooo sorry to hear you are feeling sad. You are always so upbeat and giving us alot to think about and laugh about. Go over to the off topics board and re-read some of those threads. That will surely get a smile from you! I know we can get caught up in the little *downers* in life but it is then that we need to reflect on the big *uppers* in life. Go ahead and take a peek at those lil' angels sleeping in their beds. And look at all the friends we have here at the PA boards. That woman probably doesn't come close to the cyber social life you have!! (((((hugs)))))

Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2001 - 3:50pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Diane, thank-you SO much. I know that I was being just well, silly, but it just struck me the wrong way to-day. Thank-you so much for your kind words. And jeez, I've never thought of myself as upbeat on this board!
I think I'm calm (most of the time - we'll forget about the Dough Boy) and I care, but I've never noticed that I'm upbeat. Thank-you. That is definitely a compliment I will start my morning with! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2001 - 4:04pm
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Joined: 01/12/2001 - 09:00

My pa daughters allergy is always on my mind. I feel like I can't relax with any food around. My church is wonderful and we actually a completly peanut free fall festival! All for my daughter... that just warms my soul.
We homeschool but our organization has "Monday School" and you guessed it, it's on Mondays. We meet for classes that the kids usually don't or can't get at home such as sign language, music, PE, creative writing, etc. Last Monday my daughter had a pretty bad reaction after school and it had to be from skin contact. Classes are from 12:30-4:30 so the kids have lunch before hand and some snack between classes. Kids at church and the ones Sara was in Kindergarten Klub with last year really seem to watch out for her since I did a class on allergies. One mother told me that she and her kids don't eat peanut butter on Mondays. Sara started feeling bad in PE last week and her PE teacher told her today that she always eats toast and peanut butter in the mornings but today she had toast&butter. I'm also now in charge of getting safe snacks for the 44 kids in PE. I already do that at church.
Anyway, the way pa affected my today. We went to Burger King for lunch and I had to really search to find a table that had been washed off. At Monday School there were alot of cookies floating around. They were no no's Some of Sara's classmates were eating them and really scared her. I asked one to go wash up because she is really close to her. I also had to warn her PE teacher that if she started acting scared it was because of the cookies she had seen her friends eat. When I was signing her out this afternoon her last year kindergarten teacher was eating a cookie and kinda scratched Sara on the head to say hi. This is the same teacher who told me she WOULD NOT give Sara an epi-pen last year. That's a whole other ordeal. Sara recently joined girl scouts and since she started non of the snacks have been safe and I have to keep her separated from the other girls. Tonight it was a peanut snack and she had to way sit across the room in a corner, she couldn't even hear the instructions given. I've tried to get her to drop out but she says its fun and wants to stay. Her troop leader called last Tuesday morning wanting to know why Sara wasn't there last Monday and she needed her cookie form ASAP. I told her we were in the ER most of the night and I really didn't think she understood so I was going to meet with her next week and see if the other mothers could just give so much money each and I would buy the snacks each time. Also, if that didn't work my parent's said that they would donate the snack. Anyway, before the meeting was over the leader asked me if I would like to get the snack each time and she would reimburse me. Praise God. I think she may have gotten it!
I could just sit and cry all day sometimes and I do alot. There's just so much to do and not a lot of people who understand.
So that's how pa affected my life today.
Sorry this is so long... I just needed to tell someone who understands. Thanks for being here for me.

Posted on: Mon, 02/05/2001 - 11:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

supermom1023, I'm so sorry to hear how PA affected your day. It sounds heartbreaking.
Now, I'm not sure about this or not. I know that when I moved to this very small town, I was not considering Jesse's PA at all. The move was a very rush thing and done under very stressful circumstances.
But, in so moving to such a small place, when I don't know how to drive and don't have a vehicle, I'm wondering if I didn't subconsciously limit the amount of "stuff" I would have to deal with re PA. I don't have to worry about too many places where Jesse could be unsafe in this very small town. We live in an extremely controlled and almost isolated environment.
I had always envisioned Jesse going to Boy Scouts and doing the stuff little kids do (well, I didn't, but that's another tale in itself). I'm not even clear if there is one in my town.
I think it's wonderful that you continue to try to do these things with your daughter.
It is very sad, when food is just so prevalent around us all of the time and an event or outing like Girl Scouts can't be enjoyed without a food product being brought in. I would have felt horrible having to sit where I couldn't hear the speaker. Your daughter obviously handled it much better than I would have as a child or even as a nearly 42 year old. Maybe that's a positive thing our children will carry, their ability to be a bit different and maybe left out without it leaving scars on them because they have a specific reason for being left out - their PA and ensuring their safety. I'm not clear.
I just know that this continues to break my heart when I had so much wanted a very much different life for my son, socially, than I had when I was a child. And yet, again, in my move here, did I purposely make sure he would have the same kind of life because we are so limited?
Take care to-day, supermom1023, and know that everyone knows what you're going through, cares and understands.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2001 - 3:17am
Merri - Kim's picture
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Joined: 01/31/2001 - 09:00

Hey Super MOm!! Lots of hugs and smiles to you today, it's true what Cindy said - we all know what you're going through and understand your sadness. Please keep your spirits up, things will be better. Kim

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2001 - 3:19am
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Joined: 06/09/2000 - 09:00

supermom,
my daughter is a daisy scout (she is 5). for those of you who don't know, (I didn't) that is what comes before brownies. anyway, the troop leader sent a letter to the parents letting them know that they were not to bring any snacks on their day with nuts or snack that they didn't know the ingredients to.
THEN, the girls turned out to be such messy eaters, focused their whole attention on when they would get snacks, etc. they decided to do away w/snacks ALTOGETHER. YEAH!
They only meet for 1.5 hours, they don't need a snack time then. For older kids its even less important I feel.
Its great you are bringing the snacks.
After her divestituture ceremony (kind of an official swearing in, it was soooooo cute) some of the moms brought in snacks they had made. I quickly scurried around to inquire of ingredients. One was made out of a mix I use, the other was made by a mother who herself is PA! SHe actually passed out on vacation w/anaphylaxis. Still doesnt carry an EPI!! I gave her a scolding but was very relieved to be able to deal with knowledgable people who actually care about my daughter's well being and don't feel "put upon", etc.

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2001 - 3:23am
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Joined: 06/09/2000 - 09:00

cindy,
one suggestion for you, become a troop leader yourself!!! We live in NYC but its in a small area that is sort of isolated from the main and you are in a small town. Would give your son a chance to meet other kids his age that he may not know in other classes. You control the snack bit, etc. most parents I think welcomed the idea that they would NOT have to be responsible for snack bringing, etc.
I was going to be an assistant for my daughters troop, even though they have 2 leaders (cause she didn't want me to leave her alone) but that was when they met on saturdays. now they meet after school on tuesdays so I cannot be there. Its probably just as well, she is such a little homebody and needs the exposure to other kids.
think about it, you could do something like that perhaps? you certainly seem to have the energy with all you do and you can also limit the number of kids in your troop (my daughter now has about 6 girls, a few drop out right away).
just a thought~!

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2001 - 4:50am
supermom1023's picture
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Joined: 01/12/2001 - 09:00

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words. Sometimes I wish I could keep her isolated but I know it's not possible. We do avoid pot lucks at church and elsewhere. She is very outgoing and has lots of friends. People think we homeschool for that reason, but I knew I wanted to homeschool way before I ever met my husband. Luckily, he felt the same way I did.
In Sara's troop 3 different levels meet together, her Brownie troop plus girl scouts and Jr.s. I too don't understand the snack thing. They meet from 6;30 for 1-1 1/2 hours. The girls probably get up from the supper table and go straight to the meeting. There were so many moms and dads that the leader said parents couldn't stay unless you volunteer so I'm a helper because I dare not leave Sara there alone. After her first meeting I cried all the way home and she told me not to cry because she was kind of used to it, but after we got home she was sad. All in all she seems to handle the pa thing alot better than I do.
Mom2two, That's great about someone w/pa bringing snacks to the ceremony. When we went on vaction last year. (I printed out the hospitals along our route, about 20 pages or so) we only ate at national chains like Burger King, Sonic and such. Of course I went in ahead and made sure the ingredients were the same as we get here at home. I really wanted to be able to go to someplace that we don't have here. I saw a steak house and I went in ahead to do my check. It turned out that the hostess had a pa son and he ate there all the time!
I know I read that you learn who really cares about you and your child and I've found that to be true. There's really a lot of caring, loving people out there, it's just that when I meet someone who doesn't get it I tend to focus on the bad experience instead of remembering the positive ones.
Thanks again for your support!

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