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Posted on: Thu, 07/08/2004 - 11:46pm
saknjmom's picture
Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

Hi, I am very sorry about your holiday being ruined. I too have had problems with family members being diligent about keeping my son safe. Friends and parents from school have been wonderful, but family not as good. i am yet to figure this out.
I think that you have to be matter of fact and set firm and clear rules about food at family gatherings.
You need to say that if you and your child are expected or invited to attend a family gathering, there should be absoutely no food served (with or without a note) that contains peanuts, tree nuts or whatever your son is allergic to.
I would review the ways that your child can have a reaction, contact, inhalation, cross contamination and by ingestion. Ask your mom how she would feel if her inability to resist the yummy peanut whatever she ate, caused your child and her grandchild to become seriously ill or perhaps die. Maybe use the second hand smoke, pollen in the air, etc. Tell them that peanuts in the presence of your child make you feel the same way as a loaded gun on the table. Tell her that she could hug or kiss your child and literally give him the kiss of death.
Maybe give a graphic scenerio of what happened to your child in past reactions. Ask them to go into your child's shoes, how scary it is to have your throat close and not be able to breathe.
I would say that they have to make a choice, either be responsible about not having peanuts in the presence of your child or there is no contact with your child. It is that serious!! i would not trust her in the care of your child.
I have family members that love my child, but whom i would not allow be with him without my presence because i don't think they take it seriously enough.
This is very unfortunate. Good luck, be strong, firm and diligent in keeping your child safe!


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