Homeschooling?

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My dd is in 4th grade and has been experiencing panic attacks ever since she suffered a severe allergic reaction to something she ate in late August.

The anxiety she is experiencing has already caused her to miss most of the first 3 weeks of school. In addition to this, she typically misses a huge percentage of school every year beacuse of frequent viral infections (she gets everything!), her severe pollen allergies and now she has we have a lot of anxiety issues. I am overwhelmed because there is no way I can keep her up to date with the materials covered in class. We have had a private tutor for her for 3 years but this is only once a week--not enough to cover all subjects!

Some friends have suggested we consider homeschooling her so she will not miss new concepts and fall so far behind--that it will help enormously with her self-esteem in school. I am very concerned that she would feel terribly lonely and would have no social interaction at all during the day---and she loves being with her friends!

Any thoughts? Thanks!

On Sep 30, 2006

I would ask her if she would like to be homeschooled. If she is interested and you have the time or a tutor go for it. It sounds like she misses a lot of school anyway. If she is homeschooled then maybe she can get more comfortable with her allergy and herself. There are so many extracurricular activities that she could do that would keep her involved with friends so she wouldn't get lonely. If she likes to dance she could go to afternoon classes at a dance studio if she likes art then check out art teacher that offer classes to homeschoolers. It seems as if the law in your state is very accepting to homeschooling. You could set it up with your school to follow there curriculum or you could chose your own curriculum with subject and activities that your dd is interested in.

Take Care and Best to you and your dd toomanynuts

On Sep 30, 2006

We have always homeschooled. The sterotype of hs kids being lonely is a myth. My boys actually get more free time and down time. They socialize all day long with people at storytime, the park, the store and anywhere else they may be. They develop friendships at classes that they take (karate, art, cub scouts, etc...) and these friends are based on mutual interest (like most adult friendships are) rather than basing friendships on being thrown into a class together bacause they happen to be the same age. My boys have real friendships with kids ranging in ages from 3-13 (my boys are 7 and 4) and play with girls equally as much as boys.

Besides, didn't your teacher ever tell you to stop talking because school isn't a place for socializing? ;-)

On Sep 30, 2006

I homeschool my two as well...its a challenge, but I feel its well worth it, both my kids are happy, healthy, and well adjusted...and they have lots of friends.

Most areas have programs to help homeschoolers get the association they need and learn to work with others in a group setting...I recently found a great PE program...We are also in a group that gets together for field trips, puts on a talent show and science fair every year, plus holds graduation ceremonies for 8th and 12th grades...It takes effort, but you can provide plenty of opportunities for you daughter to make friends her own age...

Some good local resources are the library, the parks and recreation dept., museums, community centers, ect...

You will also find lots of resources online...heres' a good place to start: [url="http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Region.htm"]http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Region.htm[/url]

you can go with prepared curriculems (we use Calvert- [url="http://www.calvertschool.org"]www.calvertschool.org[/url] ) or you can put together your own...

Something that has proved very helpful to us is HSLDA- Homeschool Legal Defense Association. [url="http://www.hslda.org"]www.hslda.org[/url] This is a group of lawyers who will represent homeschooling families at no charge other than the yearly dues. At one time, we had problems with a school board official who was misinformed about TN homeschool law...She wouldn't listen to us, but one call from HSLDA straightened out the matter. That one phone call was worth every cent we paid and will pay for dues...hopefully we will never need their services again, but it's some peace of mind to know we have help if we need it.

edited to fix link

[This message has been edited by TJuliebeth (edited October 01, 2006).]

On Sep 30, 2006

Have you ever heard of a cybercharter? This is a public school like any other-- open to all and free of charge. This is what we do. No way could we have afforded Calvert's materials on our own as HSers, but this is the curriculum that our school SENDS us. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

The same national agency operates in your state. This is a great option for kids who would feel isolated if they didn't have connections with other "classmates." There is a secure web-server with on-line chats and clubs, field trips, local meet-ups, and great parents from all over the country. It does take some time, but really no more than you are probably already spending, given how often she has been out ill.

Here's the link if you want more info: [url="http://www.connectionsacademy.com/state/home.asp?sid=pa"]http://www.connectionsacademy.com/state/home.asp?sid=pa[/url]

HTH [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

ETA:

Quote:

Besides, didn't your teacher ever tell you to stop talking because school isn't a place for socializing? ;-)

Ohhh, MAN. Do you actually [i]know[/i] my daughter?? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] LOL! I once had written on a report card that I spoke... "well. And often." [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] So I can't blame her dad for that one... Charlotte Mason methodology was a [i]HUGE[/i] hit at my house, as you can probably well imagine.

[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited October 01, 2006).]

On Oct 1, 2006

Are you concerned for her safety, do you want to homeschool because you believe in it beyond the allergy and anxiety issue, or do you want to pull her out for her anxiety alone?

If you wanted to homeschool before this, then you should. If you're trying to protect her because of her anxiety, I'd make sure you tried everything else first. I just say this b/c I had MAJOR anxiety (full-blown panic attacks) in school. I worked with a psychologist to learn how to face this and breath through anxious situation (without meds). Now as an adult, I'm able to face many things that I wouldn't have been able to without these skills. I think, for me (you know your dd), it would have hurt me in the long run if my parents would've taken me out. Again, you know your dd and what's best for her. Listen to your instincts on this one... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Have you talked to the school psychologist? Maybe they could help you figure out the best way to handle this...

Good luck! I really feel for you and your dd..anxiety is the most horrible feeling. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

On Oct 1, 2006

Boy! I am so glad you are all out there to give such insightfyl thought to this issue. yes, dd has missed so much school over the last few years and it does not seem to get any better the older she gets--we just get new problems!

We have been taking her to see 2 doctors (one just counsels and the other is now prescribing meds) and in the spring she was making such great progress--we had the best summer evenr (relatively little allergy syndrome and little ancxiety) but here we are again, one day in, three days out, afraid to eat, etc. She has always ahd issues since she was a baby--it likley is a redult of the severe pain she was in for so long with multiple GI issues and food allergy. (she refused to eat and was fed liguid neocate until she was 3 years old).

Our school psychologist is not helpful--doesn't belive food alelrgic children have emotional issues!--yet we do have anxiety in her 504 (got this last year,a s well as an air conditioner for her class so they would stop using a fan to blow all the pollen and dust all around the room!) for other issues)--over all the school seems to want to help, BUT we feel as thought they are trying to scare us with the legal requirements of her being in school as a way to get her there and this makes us feel as thought they are suggesting we are keeping her out unneccesarily! If she could be there, I assure you I would send her! Sometimes she will just have a low grade fever and she will be down for the count! ..sometimes hse is just wiped out--so many meds, nasal congestion, headaches, etc.

i have thought about this for many years and thought we should give regular school a try--but I cannot ignore anymore that she is not thriving in that environment=nt and I want her self esteem to grow and for her to see she can excel in subjects if we give her the right tools! Missing 5 days of class and constantly trying to catch up and still moving on is overwhelming!

What are the legal problems homeschoolers might have? I did not understand this part?

Does anyone live near Philadelphia?

On Oct 1, 2006

Ahhh, sounds like you have many issues going on and I can see it's not just anxiety. I'm so sorry you're going through this! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] You've obviously exhausted so many options and I can't imagine what you must feel like.

There's so many people that homeschool successfully, especially on this board! Check out all the great resources and options you have!

Good luck with your decision! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'm sure you'll do the best thing for you dd..

On Oct 1, 2006

Individual states regulate what "homeschooling" means. Some states are [i]very[/i] Draconian in what they require for you to be in compliance with the law. Others, not so much. In Oregon, you have to tell the state you're homeschooling (report to local ESD the year they turn 7).... then you have to pay for standardized testing to demonstrate that they are making progress. If they aren't making enough progress (as evaluated by a standardized test) then you get one more chance at that and the local school district will intervene... perhaps with a case study eval. to see if support services are needed.

Some states require HSers to file curriculum plans with local ESDs and submit to more rigorous evaluations. Some will provide you the basics of a curriculum, and some absolutely NOTHING. Mine is one of the latter-- and quality costs money. A lot of money. Or a lot of time (think full time job).

Anyway, I don't know what Penn does, but if you look at your state's Department of Education website, you should be able to find out pretty easily.

With the cybercharter, your daughter can take all the same basic classes she had before--AT HOME. Because she is still "in school" there is no danger of any trouble with the authorities, and the school is fully nationally accredited, so you won't be causing any problems with her transcripts down the road. (Usually trouble with authorities only happens if you have a real PITA neighbor/family member who reports your child "truant" repeatedly... sigh)

If you are feeling a bit nervous about your ability to take on homeschooling, I would encourage you to try to use a prepackaged curriculum or a cyberschool until you find your feet. It can seem truly overwhelming. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Another reason we like our cybercharter is that DD can move through curriculum at pretty much her own pace, and she can take electives like languages, history, and art. It's kind of like homeschooling "with a net." [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] We do it because we get tired of people rolling their eyes about my TAG daughter, and recognized that she needed to be able to offer proof of her abilities. It's validation, in other words. Many medically fragile children find it works wonderfully-- it is a hybrid of home-bound, homeschooling, and distance education. So if you don't feel well, you can still sit on your couch and do reading. As long as you don't have to go to school to do it.

Your statement about your daughter's failure to thrive at school sounds like [i]the usual[/i] reason people pull their kids out to homeschool. Follow your instincts. I was initially [i]horrified[/i] by the idea of homeschooling and thought that this was "giving up," or "being afraid," but it isn't. Not at all. It is just an extension of what we as parents already do-- finding what is right for your child and then doing it. I consider my family the ultimate example of "reluctant" homeschoolers-- we faced very hard-core criticism from families full of educators. But even if I felt I [i]could[/i] send my DD 'to school' I am not sure that I would. She has the best of all possible worlds right now-- why would I change [i]that[/i]? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] And it certainly doesn't make her 'weird' or socially inept. Oh my--far from it.

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 1, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by SusieT-R:

What are the legal problems homeschoolers might have? I did not understand this part?

Does anyone live near Philadelphia?[/B]

Check out Home School Legal Defense Association's website to find out the laws for homeschooling in Pennsylvania and how to withdraw your child from school. I highly recommend joining HSLDA. It's like having the 10 ton gorilla on your side if the school tries to create problems about homeschooling your child. [url="http://www.hslda.org"]http://www.hslda.org[/url]

We keep so busy homeschooling that we have to turn down activities and playdates or else we would never get any academic work done! My two boys are in Cub Scouts (a homeschool pack), my two girls take ballet (older DD 4 times a week), my older two kids play soccer in the homeschool sports league, the two boys play soccer in Parks & Rec, and we're in a homeschool co-op one day week. Toss in field trips and day to day life, and my kids are more than socialized.

On Oct 1, 2006

To me, home schooling her would be coddling her, and enabling her anxiety level. Making it more difficult for her to live a mainstream life (something all people should be able to do, as much as possible given the restrictions of their physical capacity).

I would talk to your ped and consider some counseling or medication to help her with her emotional difficulties and fears.

Also consider if YOU are capable and able to school her at least as well, if not BETTER than the school system.

Good luck!

On Oct 1, 2006

I pretty much agree with the person above me. I am not sure I would call it coddling, but I do think that if she could conquer her anxiety with couseling and/or medication and be able to go to school, it would make her realize she can do these things. I`d be concerned that homeschooling her would send the message that she isn`t able to go to regular school. I don`t think there is anything wrong with homeschooling for other reasons, but I don`t think I would do it due to anxiety as the reason.

I also agree about the teaching. It takes years to get a teaching credential. I have 11 years of education after high school, but no training in teaching. Therefore, I know that a credentialed teacher would do a better job than I would.

[This message has been edited by Carefulmom (edited October 01, 2006).]

On Oct 1, 2006

It sounds like the 2 above posters know little of homeschooling.

I think the difference in homeschooling versus a public schooling is the fact your child gets more individual attention and can accomplish a lot more homeschooling than can be done in a classroom filled with children.

I don't think there is any harm in homeschooling children in fact I think it is better for them in the long run.

I don't think it coddles any child to take care of their individual needs regardless of what those needs are. I think that only a good parent would consider that.

I don't think every child needs to be homeschooled but it is definately on an individual bases.

I think it would help your dd to continue her education at home if she can't go to school. Whether it is from meds, anxiety, or illness. I don't think there has to be a reason if she can excel at home she will be come more secure in herself, her allergies and handling her anxiety her way.

Why people continue to pressure their children to overcome things so early is beyond me they have their entire adult life to be stressed and pressured by others their childhood she be free of that.

I say go for it! You aren't doing any harm to teach her at home and the benefits are life long. Besides that she won't fall behind in her education and the days that she is sick she can rest and you don't have to worry about school she can make it up when she is feeling better. You've got all the time in the world at home.

Take Care,

toomanynuts

On Oct 1, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by toomanynuts: [b]It sounds like the 2 above posters know little of homeschooling. [/b]

That is quite a generalization. Just because someone has a different opinion on a topic does not mean that they know little about it. They could simply have a different opinion. I know alot about homeschooling, having done it, and I also don`t think it is the solution to this problem. I think that kids need to learn what is safe and what is not safe. If the school is not safe, by all means do not send her. But if she is safe there, pulling her out to homeschool, just reinforces the idea that she cannot handle it. It would build her self confidence to manage her anxiety and be able to go. Keeping her home is like you saying you think she cannot handle it. I do think anxiety meds would be a real consideration.

I also agree about the parent who is not a credentialed teacher not being as good a teacher as a real teacher. It was the reason I stopped. If I had training as a teacher I would have continued. Once I had my kids in regular school for a few weeks, I could see that the teachers did a much better job than I did. That is probably not true for all on this board, but there is more to homeschooling than being a good mom. You have to be good at teaching.

On Oct 1, 2006

Yes, you do.

But I think that there [i]are[/i] a great many programs which offer the kind of support that non-educators need to assist their children at home. It is important to recall that this is a child who is currently NOT MEETING ATTENDANCE STANDARDS!!

I also disagree that removing a child from a miserable school experience is "wrong." It depends on the child. This one sounds as though she is so unhappy there that her mental AND physical health suffers. (Re-read OP about nearly constant illness-- maybe due to such high stress levels, eh?)

As parents I think we instinctively know what [i]the right thing[/i] is for our kids. Really. I know literally [i]dozens[/i] of adult homeschoolers, and only ONE of them regrets it. On the other hand, I know a great many adult women who are emotionally very damaged by the horrors of junior high and high school. It isn't the real world, but it can sure feel that way at the time. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Maybe she needs smaller doses of "challenge" right now, in more controlled settings. What does her therapist think about your idea?

On Oct 1, 2006

My goodness! You are all offering me so much to think about.

Overall, I actually feel very confident that should we decide to homeschool that we will be giving our daughter an awesome opportunity to thrive and show just what she is capable of! Right now, she is not able to do much except play constant catch-up; feel self-conscious going back into the class every few days when projects have progressed far beyond where they were when she left; and be overwhelmed and illequipped for the constant changing social dynamics that occur, especially among the girls.

I do admit I am not an educator, but my family takes education extremely serioulsy. Both my husband and I are attorneys so our daughter has been rasied in an environment where she knows higher education is expected and that advocating for others as well as self-advocacy are very important.

But--yes, I am scared there would be things I could not explain--but this already happens!.. and the teachers do not sit and explain the concepts she has missed--they are too busy, and rightly so, moving along with the class. We live in one of the top rated public school systems in the county--we are blessed, but if she can't show what she is made of in that environment--I truly cannot believe I am being a good parent or a good educator if I let her struggle constantly to just accept being mediocre because of her illnesses. I know we would find a program that helps us and we would hire tutors as we already have done if we could not explain things properly. BAsically, whatever our daughter needs, we will get it so she can overcome obstacles--not sit back and meekly feel she is a "sickly" child.

As to the anxiety---it does not exist in a bubble--so many issues cloud the anxiety: underlying medical issues coupled with anxiety and now a somatic response (panic) that she needs to be medicated to control--all because she is afraid that she will eat soemthing that could send her back to the hopsital. We firmly believe our daughter needs to learn how to work through these issues, but she is only 9 year old. She is getting the medical help she needs to do this--through counseling support and meds--but this is incredibly overwhelming for a 9 year old--I am in my 40's and sometimes I feel I cannot cope with it all! I do not think we would be sending her a message that she cannot overcome obstacles if we were to decide on homeschooling. RAther, I firmly belive she would know that we are committed to making sure she has every opportunity available to her to allow her to become a strong student & strong person and a student capable of excelling so much more by taking her time, doing work when she is well and at the pace she needs to do so.

Both my husband and I are extremely active in the Food Allergic Community and have shown our daughter the strength in self-advocacy and the importance of making the right choices for yourself --so I do not feel that keeping her home would be coddling her at all. My family is not a passive family that coddles--in fact, some people have told me to stop advocating all the time and working on issues (can't do that--I am a lawyer)--so settling for something less than what you are capable of is just not an option. Nurturing my daughter's strengths, building her self-esteem and helping her learn to overcome her fears and providing a firm, solid education that prepares her for a life of opportunities and experiences is paramount. I am not yet convinced that the school classroom can do this for this child.

So far, the people I am have spoken to who are homeschooling seem to have very socially active, extremly well-adjusted, and very bright children academically. They travel a great deal and use the world as "an oyster" for learning.

I am not sure which way we will go--but having these options available is a very good position to be in.

I need to now learn more about which cyber program is the best! Then I can stay up at night bugging my husband over what he thinks we should do!

Thanks to all! Keep writing on this! I love this site!

On Oct 2, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by Marizona: [b]

I also agree about the parent who is not a credentialed teacher not being as good a teacher as a real teacher. It was the reason I stopped. If I had training as a teacher I would have continued. Once I had my kids in regular school for a few weeks, I could see that the teachers did a much better job than I did. That is probably not true for all on this board, but there is more to homeschooling than being a good mom. You have to be good at teaching.

[/b]

are you kidding me? what "credentials" make them so much more qualified? i don't mean to offend any teachers -- but an a b.a. in education certainly does not guarantee a good teacher. the current state of our country's public school system and its consistenly poor results are clear evidence. don't get me wrong -- there are many, many good and GREAT teachers out there, but nobody will ever convince me that an education degree is the reason.

On Oct 3, 2006

The most striking argument in favor of homeschooling for this child is health issues. This child is missing so much school due to medical issues and missing so much school may be contributing to her anxiety.

My DS (6, 1st grade) went to school for preschool and K. He has asthma, and his asthma was almost uncontrollable the past two years due to issues in the school environment (major construction, flooding which caused mold issues in the classroom etc). His health improved dramatically once he began homeschooling. We have decreased some asthma meds and discontinued others.

On Oct 9, 2006

K12 is a well-established Philly based Cyber-Charter school which uses the Calvert Curriculum. My son used this cyber charter for K through 2nd grades, and it really is a wonderful curriculum.

Students are required to keep daily attendance records on the computer, and they have to meet state requirements for days and hours. They submit written work samples to teachers and can attend get-togethers with other kids their age. The school provides a computer, internet service, art supplies, books, etc.

In my opinion, it's a wonderful alternative to brick and mortar schools and homeschooling. My son's now in a small private school, but I miss parts of the Calvert curriculum-- the History, especially.

On Oct 9, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by SusieT-R: [b]My dd is in 4th grade and has been experiencing panic attacks ever since she suffered a severe allergic reaction to something she ate in late August.

The anxiety she is experiencing has already caused her to miss most of the first 3 weeks of school. In addition to this, she typically misses a huge percentage of school every year beacuse of frequent viral infections (she gets everything!), her severe pollen allergies and now she has we have a lot of anxiety issues. I am overwhelmed because there is no way I can keep her up to date with the materials covered in class. We have had a private tutor for her for 3 years but this is only once a week--not enough to cover all subjects!

Some friends have suggested we consider homeschooling her so she will not miss new concepts and fall so far behind--that it will help enormously with her self-esteem in school. I am very concerned that she would feel terribly lonely and would have no social interaction at all during the day---and she loves being with her friends!

Any thoughts? Thanks![/b]

I started homeschooling my dd in the fifth grade for similar reasons. Her anxiety levels perhaps weren't as high as your dd but the stress was certainly affecting her school work. She was sometimes in a situation that was beyond her control. If someone came near me with something that had caused me to stop breathing, go unconscious and almost die I would leave the area immediately. My dd wasn't able to do that when a girl in her class threatened to sneak pb in her lunch bag and "watch her die". Yes, I went in to handle the situation but then a child who sits next to dd is "mistakenly" sent in treats with peanuts. I could go on and on about incidents that have come up. I know every child is different but this really seems to have had a cumulative affect on dd. I can't tell you how many times I had to pick dd up because of a stomache ache due to stress. Not to mention all of the mystery hives. I think that every child is different. Only you and your child can decide what is best in your situation. Homeschooling is not for everyone but we have been doing it for a year now and we have no regrets. I am not a certified teacher but I find that with the math program that we are using for her, she is able to read the easy-to-understand introduction to each chapter and figure it out quite easily on her own. This is a child who struggled with math in public school. I know how my child learns so I found a great program that follows her learning style. I read each chapter as well so if she has any questions, I can recall 6/7th grade math, so far anyway :-). For the moment, I can teach my 11 yo 6th and 7th grade subjects. Who knows what will happen in a few years. I am not a tool but I will not claim that I can teach all HS subjects effectively. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. If we need to look into cyberschool...whatever. Our immediate benefits have been that our dd's stress levels have gone way down as she just has to handle the normal "real world" stresses because to me in the "real world" if you are in a dangerous situation, you can remove yourself. Her grades have improved 100%. Rather than dealing with all of the issues at school, she can focus on learning. She never realized how much she enjoys learning. She is 11 and she went from struggling with math to the point where she is now heading into grade 7 math in one year. Bravo to her!! We have decided that we will take each year as it comes. This was a decision that we made as a family. If dd feels that she would prefer to go back into public school, that is fine with me. As for the social concerns that you mentioned. This was also a concern of our initially. We have made extra effort to participate in activities, have her friends over more often,etc. In fact, she has a friend over today who spent the night as today is a public school holiday. Rather than spending 3 hours each evening on homework, she now has the time afterscool to play with her friends. I know hs'ing is not for everyone but in *our case* it is working out very well.

On Oct 13, 2006

[quote]Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH: [B]To me, home schooling her would be coddling her, and enabling her anxiety level. Making it more difficult for her to live a mainstream life (something all people should be able to do, as much as possible given the restrictions of their physical capacity). I would talk to your ped and consider some counseling or medication to help her with her emotional difficulties and fears. Also consider if YOU are capable and able to school her at least as well, if not BETTER than the school system.>>> Dear 3xy1PAinNH: As a homeschooler, I can tell you that homeschooling is NOT "coddling", and while it might seem that way to you if you have not done it or known anyone who does it, to assume so is very presumptuous of any parent's intent for their child. As for "enabling" and being "mainstream", I am curious what you mean by that? To respond in an appropriate way to protect a child from harm, is NOT "enabling", and I would NOT suggest doing something simply for the PURPOSE of being "mainstream". (If a friend jumped off a bridge, would you?.... remember that one?) That is the wrong mentality to have for ANYONE- child or adult. That is NOT something I teach MY children- to simply go with the flow because they might stick out or not "fit in". Now, if you meant for them to live in the real world with other people, then that's different. However, keep in mind that homeschoolers DO live in the real world; that is PART of what BOTHERS schools! They WANT to have the children sorted by age, and controlled by the ringing of bells; they WANT to separate children from the real world, as they feel that they NEED to have this complete, controlled, focused environment to be capable of "teaching" children. They recoil at the thought of children learning at home, out on errands, in mixed-age groups or activities..... Homeschoolers, however, know that this is not always the best environment for children (and, honestly, as it is said, the only other place that this resemble in the real world, is a prison... think about that one), and they are able to educate without these artificial controls and means. Anyhow, if you are encouraging this woman to allow her child to live in a "real" world, then you should be encouraging her to homeschool, and not discouraging her. I know that for me, I enjoy being IN the world, and not separated from it. I think it's IMPORTANT for our children to be IN the REAL world, where they will have REAL situations to deal with (and real ways of dealing with these situations), than to be (ahem!) "coddled" in the artificial schooling environment, that is not at all like the outside world. Also, are you suggesting that medicating a child to try to force them to "stomach" an intolerable environment, is preferable to simply FINDING a BETTER environment? If the child is NOT enjoying school, why on EARTH would is be sensible to FORCE them to tolerate the school- REGARDLESS of the reason? I DO agree that the child should have help, if she truly is having anxiety, but that should not mean that you then also continue to expose her the same thing that causes her that very anxiety. That is insane. If a person is going through trauma, you help them deal with it, but you also remove the thing that is causing trauma. If after therapy she felt she might want to try it again, then that would make sense to me. But really, I always am amazed that school is such a priory to people- to the detriment of their children, if need be. EDUCATION is a priority- YES- but NOT schools or schooling. They are ONE type or form of education- they are simply ONE choice. They are not the be all end all- they are merely one way that people seek to educate their children. To be so limited in your thinking- that you would suggest a child be forced to deal with a traumatic school situation, or be medicated to do that- is such limited thinking. It is very sad. I feel for those of you who are stuck in this caged-in mindset. As for being capable or better than the school system.... The homeschooler CAN'T be better than the school system- not at "schooling", that is! However, homeschoolers are usually great at educating their children. This is because educating is an extension of parenting, and parenting is simply finding what works best for you and your child. Your parenting may tell you that school is better for you and your child. Or, it may tell you that homeschooling is better. But, whatever you choose, it will be because you know best for your child, and if you choose to homeschool, you can always find plenty of curriculum or books to use to make sure that the choice you make works. I read the posts below yours, and I noticed that someone stated that she previously homeschooled, but stopped, because she couldn't teach, and wasn't certified, if I remember correctly. She didn't fail because of the reason she gave, I can almost guarantee. She likely failed because she didn't understand what homeschooling is about- she simply saw it as schooling at home. Homeschooling (and I HATE that term- it is NOT accurate, at all!) is NOT "schooling at home". This poor woman probably failed because she tried to be a school at home, and not a parent educating her child, or managing her child's education. She missed the whole point of it, and probably gave up when she (of course!) couldn't be a school at home. I have seen that before. It's hard to see a homeschooler like that- it kills you, because you know that they are not going to be able to do it- they have not gotten out of the "schooled" mindset. They don't get it that it's educating, not schooling. It is not what you know, so much, as what your mindset is about it, and your willingness to seek out what your child's education will need. If you expect to be sitting at the table, lecturing for hours and hours a day, you will fail (unless that what the child learns best by doing, of course, but my experience is that most children do NOT do well with this). Besides, that doesn't even work in SCHOOLS... WHY on EARTH would you bother with that rubbish with one or two or five children? This is a chance to give these children a real chance to learn- to have individual attention (quality, not quantity), that far exceeds what any classroom can do. There is no NEED to copy what a school does, as it is not even the same thing as a homeschool situation. I know many homeschoolers who are also certified teachers. They often have to "unlearn" what they were taught about teaching in schools, to homeschool- it comes up again and again in my homeschool groups, every new year. Parents that think that they will have the upper-hand because they were "educated" in "schooling". Then, they panic when they see that it isn't the same thing at all, and they have to learn- just like the rest of us!- HOW to help each of their children as individuals. Schooling is (of course) classroom/group-based, and much busywork. It's not really until high school (and of course college) when it's really actual, pure subject material that requires a better understanding of what is being taught/learned. And then, that is something a good online class or tutor or textbook can teach, or even a college class. Many homeschoolers- in their high school years- take college classes. This is actually very common. These children (and their parents) have stretched their mindset to understand that "schooling" and "educating" are two different things. The first is only one possible form of the second.

On Oct 13, 2006

SLKim, that was an excellent post! Isn't it awful that so many seem to think that home educating (I prefer that word, LOL) isn't the 'real world'? Since graduating high school, I have never been segregated based on my age into a large group that must do what one person says, at all times, without question.

My oldest (aspergers, sensory processing disorder, central auditory processing disorder, ADHD) would be a wreck in school. Too much chaos at all times, and the teacher would want him medicated for ADHD, I'm sure. At home he has control (within normal parent/child relationship, of course) of his environment and has no trouble getting work done (unless little brother is being a pest, LOL) and needs no medication. His socialization happens in the store, library, and anywhere else that we run errands, plus at activities that he has chosen, based on his interests. Sounds more like the 'real world', eh?

I realize that schools are neccessary, because most can't, or won't, educate their children at home, but they aren't the 'real world'. They do their job to the best of their ability, but many loving parents (willing to put in a little time and effort) can do better. Nothing against the schools, and especially teachers. They do so much with so little, but there's only so much they can do (due to lack of time, funding, etc...)

On Oct 13, 2006

[quote]Originally posted by KS mom: [B] Our immediate benefits have been that our dd's stress levels have gone way down as she just has to handle the normal "real world" stresses because to me in the "real world" if you are in a dangerous situation, you can remove yourself. >>

EXACTLY! The "real world" has "real world" issues, and "real world" choices and results. Schools are NOT the "real world", and I always find it so sickening that those that are anti-homeschool (or ignorant) use the old standby argument of: "But your child needs to be in the REAL WORLD, in school, with other kids, or he won't be able to SOCIALIZE properly, or live in the real world!" LOL!! OK.... well, seeing that my children ARE in the "real world", they WILL be properly "socialized" to the "real world". They may NOT be socialized to a schooling environment, but I am GLAD that they won't be! I want them to live life as it really IS, not based on some fake environment that will NOT prepare my child for the real world. This is likely why more and more college students are not prepared for college. They think highschool is the real world. Homeschoolers often do well in college, because they already live and interact on a daily basis IN the real world (plus many have already taken college classes, and have the upper-hand). A recent report I read- last week?- was about how many colleges- Ivy Leagues, as well- are encouraging homeschoolers, and they want that kind of love of learning and out-of-the box(cage?)mindset on their campus. One school- I forget which (Stanford?)- accepted more homeschooled applicants (percetage-wise,out of the homeschool applicantions), than schooled applicants (percentage-wise, out of the schooled applications). Am I phrasing that right?

On Oct 14, 2006

SLKIM, I think you made great points. I appreciate the time you took on that post. I hate when people ask me how my kids will get any socialization, or any of the other annoying questions.

I don't think homeschooling is for everyone. Although I hope everyone who is even contemplating would give it a good, hard try. There are some mothers who really shouldn't be homeschooling. You have to be willing to make it your top priority. I know some families where you know the kids are not having a good experience. Of course I know a lot more families that the kids are thriving and having an awesome experience.

If you are not a mother who is going to devote yourself to your kids and enjoy your kids- most of the time : )- I can't see it being good for the child.

Another point I would like to make is there are some situations I think it would be hard to homeschool. A single parent home would be very hard.

If you have a two parent home and use the excuse that you both have to work, in my opinion I would say you're living beyond your means. These are my opinions feel free to have your own.

Blessings, Angie

Edited to fix a spelling mistake, just one, I think :0

[This message has been edited by happymomof2amk (edited October 14, 2006).]

On Oct 14, 2006

[quote]Originally posted by slkim: Homeschoolers, however, know that this is not always the best environment for children (and, honestly, as it is said, the only other place that this resemble in the real world, is a prison... think about that one), and they are able to educate without these artificial controls and means.

I appreciate this point. Ya know...the thing I hated about school is that you have to raise your hand and announce to the whole class when ya gotta pee. And if the teacher doesn't let you go....

A couple of years ago dd was going through a growing phase and her bladder hadn't caught up yet. She asked the teacher if she could go and the teacher said no. DD told her that she really had to go but the teacher said she had to wait. Apparently, in the teachers opinion, she shouldn't have to go so often. So dd, who is ever the obedient child had no choice but to pee in her pants. She was mortified and I was a very angry mommy to say the least. To be reduced to have to beg to care for your most basic needs. Disgraceful! I let dd go pee whenever she wants to now! :-)

On Oct 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b]My oldest (aspergers, sensory processing disorder, central auditory processing disorder, ADHD) would be a wreck in school. Too much chaos at all times, and the teacher would want him medicated for ADHD, I'm sure. [/b]

ooo. you just described my two boys (both aspies). except my oldest is mainstreamed (fifth grade) (homeschooled for two years) and doing [i]phenominally[/i] in school. Neither is, or has *ever* been "medicated". Neither have I. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Anywhoooo. Just sharing. My youngest is in the middle of a "full case study" (first grade), and I've posted much about it elsewhere on the boards. He's really a bit too intelligent for his age. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img] I'm sure, eventually he'll find his way.

Initially I was told my oldest child couldn't formulate an idea. Now parents say to me: "OH *you're* <<>> mom!!! My daughter/son tells me he is the best reader in the class! He's really smart, isn't he?"

or they gush to me about how mannered, polite, and kind he is.

My youngest? For now, people just think he is [i]adorable[/i]. Even when they call him [b]"The Master of Manipulation"[/b]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

Deny the rest of the world lessons [i]my children could teach them[/i]?

Never. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

(edit to fix quote)

Quote:

[b]I realize that schools are neccessary, because most can't, or won't, educate their children at home, but they aren't the 'real world'. They do their job to the best of their ability, but many loving parents (willing to put in a little time and effort) can do better.[/b]

Aw, I'm (and was) the same parent that homeschooled, that sent their child to school. No difference in the [b]love[/b]...except to say that it probably took more love of them, and less of myself to share them. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]

And honestly? There is a richness, in the sheer diversity and number of people they encounter daily. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I [i]love[/i] my children too much to sell them short.

Quote:

[b]Nothing against the schools, and especially teachers. They do so much with so little, but there's only so much they can do (due to lack of time, funding, etc...)[/b]

I don't know, my current near conflict with the school my youngest son attends aside, I'm not going to sell my child short and say he can only function in a school situation that devotes considerable time, funding, etc... to him. Or only under my blanket protection. I don't necessarily think Autism always means that. In many cases, I think [i]these[/i]*are* the kids that [i]excell[/i]. No matter where you put them. I'd need a bridle and reigns to hold my children back.... But the current conflict: I want to keep him home, but enrolled, until the "case study" is complete and the IEP formalized. They want his butt in school until then. Missing 27 percent of the school year throws up some red flags to those accountable for such things. They might not want to account for the reasons why..... I'm also, to put it [i]very mildly[/i], seething it's taken this long to re-address. I'm p***** they dropped his label to begin with.

Last conversation with them this week, it was run past me that a [i]truant officer[/i] might be called. I asked if they could tell I was terrified. Shaking in my shoes. Needing to sit down.... Yes. I believe that was [i]exactly what I said.[/i]

I should have said: "Make my day." [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Oh, and btw, my children at times exhibit ADD/ADHD behavior, even tho they don't have ADD/ADHD.

General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Egads, no. Just speaking personally. I trip over my own feet. [i]Really[/i].

[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 15, 2006).]

On Oct 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by MommaBear: [b] I don't know, my current near conflict with the school my youngest son attends aside, I'm not going to sell my child short and say he can only function in a school situation that devotes considerable time, funding, etc... to him. Or only under my blanket protection. I don't necessarily think Autism always means that. In many cases, I think [i]these[/i]*are* the kids that [i]excell[/i]. No matter where you put them. I'd need a bridle and reigns to hold my children back.... But the current conflict: I want to keep him home, but enrolled, until the "case study" is complete and the IEP formalized. They want his butt in school until then. Missing 27 percent of the school year throws up some red flags to those accountable for such things. They might not want to account for the reasons why..... I'm also, to put it [i]very mildly[/i], seething it's taken this long to re-address. I'm p***** they dropped his label to begin with.

Last conversation with them this week, it was run past me that a [i]truant officer[/i] might be called. I asked if they could tell I was terrified. Shaking in my shoes. Needing to sit down.... Yes. I believe that was [i]exactly what I said.[/i]

I should have said: "Make my day." [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Oh, and btw, my children at times exhibit ADD/ADHD behavior, even tho they don't have ADD/ADHD.

General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Egads, no. Just speaking personally. I trip over my own feet. [i]Really[/i]. [/b]

Ugh.. I read that post where you mentioned that the principal (I believe, or was it vice-p?) called your son the 'master of manipulation'. I was so ticked for you, LOL. I told my hubby about it and told him that I'm not sure how you restrained from flying across the table at him. I met with the local school last spring to get an IEP for my oldest (to get the Autism Scholarship) and the principal at that school got a piece of my mind several times, LOL. (I wrote about it on my blog, but am not sure if I can post a link to that? Some boards have rules against that).

I wasn't meaning that lack of time or funding was specifically for ASD kids, just the schools in general. I grew up in one of the worst districts in Ohio, and we had 30+ kids to a class, sharing textbooks and never getting enough 1 on 1 with the teacher. Some districts are just stretched too thin (not all.. we have some fantastic districts close by). And sometimes school can be where the kid needs to be. I just meant that sometimes parents aren't willing to look at homeschooling even when their child needs out of the school system. Those are the kids I feel bad for, because the parents aren't willing to consider anything else. We take it year by year (unless I'm really angry at the schools, LOL, then I vow my kids will never go to school) and it seems like you understand that, with your kids having been both homeschooled and public schooled.

I think all boys, at times, exhibit *signs* of ADHD, LOL. That's what being a boy is all about. :-)

On Oct 15, 2006

Just wanted to let you know that Pennsylvania does participate in K12's virtual academy. It looks like a great program and I have looked into it many, many times, but our state doesn't participate so I would have to pay full cost which is pretty high.

[url="http://k12.com/options/index.html"]http://k12.com/options/index.html[/url]

On Oct 15, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b] Ugh.. I read that post where you mentioned that the principal (I believe, or was it vice-p?) called your son the 'master of manipulation'. I was so ticked for you, LOL. I told my hubby about it and told him that I'm not sure how you restrained from flying across the table at him. [/b]

[i]her[/i]. I think it being a [i]phone conversation[/i] helped. (lol)

No problem tho, I've been thinking she might be [i]projecting[/i]. It's probably more informative if I encourage them to be frank. Watch the spin they put on the pitch. KWIM?

On Oct 16, 2006

Hello MommaBear,

Just so you know (if you were thinking of my posts at all, when you recently posted that you were the one who homeschooled but then put her child back into school), it wasn't you that I was commenting about in my first post. It was Marizona (I think that's the spelling/name)- a few posts above my first post. I don't have anything against anyone homeschooling and then sending their child to school (though, I'll admit I always wonder why someone would, aside from high school- I know many parents get nervous at that point, and will enroll their child in an actual school, or an online school). It was just that Marizona stated that she knows "all about" homeschooling because she did it previously, and that she couldn't do it becuase she didn't teach or do school correctly, and that was why she failed, and she applied it to the group as an example of why homeschooling could be a negative choice for the OP (and also then comments on teachers being "professionals", I think- how they must do best). THAT was what bothered me. If the OP reads that, she might incorrectly believe that homescholing is done only ONE way, and that this person who knows "all about" it failed because she failed at doing it this ONE way that homeschooling needs to be done. This is not what a person needs to hear. They need to hear that- yes- it CAN be hard, but that it depends on what you do, and that there are many methods of homeschooling. That someone here on this board failed at one attempt of one way of doing it, doesn't mean that homeschoolng is a negative thing. Most of us who homeschool know that the whole point is that it's NOT a set method of education. However you choose to "teach" or "educate" or have them "learn" depends on how you think they will learn best, and what your strengths are as a person and parent (and "teacher") of your child or children. It's NOT about if you can replicate school at home, unless that's what you think is needed. However, if you fail at your attempt to replicate school at home, all that means is that replicating school at home wasn't what worked for you and your child. If you choose to give up at that point, then you have that right, but you can't say that homeschoolong as a choice was a failure for you, per se. It simply means that the one try you made didn't work, for whatever reason. If Marizona had tried another method, it might have worked. Or, maybe it's just that she realized it was too much for her, and she didn't want to do it anymore. That's fine- that's her right!- and that doesn't mean that she chose wrong to send her child back to school. Maybe it was too much for her, or she has other issues involved that pushed her to decide to send her child to school, and it was in fact a great choice. We all have mnay things in our lives that effect our choices. It's just that I want the OP to know that homeschooling in of itself- it's greatest strength- is that it's NOT one set way of doing things, or one set lifestyle. It is the "real world" becuase it is applicable to your life and what works best for you. It can morph as your life morphs. It can work around who you are your children are as people, unlike school that is the thing that has to be worked around. It's a mindset, and it's very adjustable.

On Oct 16, 2006

You are reading way too much into my post. I never said that I only tried one method. Most of the other things that you read into my post I never said either.

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by slkim: [b]Hello MommaBear,

Just so you know (if you were thinking of my posts at all, when you recently posted that you were the one who homeschooled but then put her child back into school), it wasn't you that I was commenting about in my first post. It was Marizona (I think that's the spelling/name)- a few posts above my first post.

I don't have anything against anyone homeschooling and then sending their child to school (though, I'll admit I always wonder why someone would, aside from high school- I know many parents get nervous at that point, and will enroll their child in an actual school, or an online school). It was just that Marizona stated that she knows "all about" homeschooling because she did it previously, and that she couldn't do it becuase she didn't teach or do school correctly, and that was why she failed, and she applied it to the group as an example of why homeschooling could be a negative choice for the OP (and also then comments on teachers being "professionals", I think- how they must do best).

THAT was what bothered me.

If the OP reads that, she might incorrectly believe that homescholing is done only ONE way, and that this person who knows "all about" it failed because she failed at doing it this ONE way that homeschooling needs to be done. This is not what a person needs to hear. They need to hear that- yes- it CAN be hard, but that it depends on what you do, and that there are many methods of homeschooling. That someone here on this board failed at one attempt of one way of doing it, doesn't mean that homeschoolng is a negative thing.

Most of us who homeschool know that the whole point is that it's NOT a set method of education. However you choose to "teach" or "educate" or have them "learn" depends on how you think they will learn best, and what your strengths are as a person and parent (and "teacher") of your child or children.

It's NOT about if you can replicate school at home, unless that's what you think is needed.

However, if you fail at your attempt to replicate school at home, all that means is that replicating school at home wasn't what worked for you and your child. If you choose to give up at that point, then you have that right, but you can't say that homeschoolong as a choice was a failure for you, per se. It simply means that the one try you made didn't work, for whatever reason.

If Marizona had tried another method, it might have worked. Or, maybe it's just that she realized it was too much for her, and she didn't want to do it anymore. That's fine- that's her right!- and that doesn't mean that she chose wrong to send her child back to school.

Maybe it was too much for her, or she has other issues involved that pushed her to decide to send her child to school, and it was in fact a great choice. We all have mnay things in our lives that effect our choices.

It's just that I want the OP to know that homeschooling in of itself- it's greatest strength- is that it's NOT one set way of doing things, or one set lifestyle. It is the "real world" becuase it is applicable to your life and what works best for you. It can morph as your life morphs. It can work around who you are your children are as people, unlike school that is the thing that has to be worked around. It's a mindset, and it's very adjustable. [/b]

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by slkim: [b] It can morph as your life morphs. [/b]

While this may NOT be what you meant with this quote, I take it (slightly) out of context to apply directly to the "schooling" or rather, RAISING, of our children. Please continue reading . . .

[I have pointedly stayed out of this fray.]

We (and I say "we" because DH was involved too) "homeschooled" both children until this year. We are both highly educated and completely confident in our abilities and successes as to the academics side of the "homeschooling" we have accomplished to date.

As some of you know, this year we moved. Again. (We are military.) And we made the decision this summer/fall for our family to mainstream both children. We ultimately enrolled them in a private school.

EVERY child is different. EVERY parent is different. EVERY family is different. EVERY year is different. I laud any parent who works to truly find the best education and upbringing for his/her child.

IMHO, the hardest thing for ANY parent to do is to step back far enough in order to be realistic (and as unbiased as possible) about the assessment of any situation vis a vis one's child.

Obviously, there is a great deal of thought as well as emotion put into postings above. As well there should be.

That being said: not naming names, nor pointing fingers -- but perhaps some might consider a little less speaking for others, judging others, and a little more objective understanding.

FWIW, our children are thriving this year. We are confident we made the right decision this year.

So, as to one's decision about "schooling" or "raising" of children -- [b] It can morph as your life morphs. [/b]

~Elizabeth

Edited because I am sometimes hugely anal & perfectionistic. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]

[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited October 16, 2006).]

On Oct 16, 2006

Am I the only one embarssed by MB's rudeness?

slkim- I think what she was trying to say in her [i]oh so delicate[/i] way is that she would appreciate it if you would insert paragraphs into your posts. Sometimes it can be difficult to read. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 16, 2006

Well-said, EB!!

And I might add that just in general terms, nobody should feel defensive about their choices. [i]Whatever those are.[/i]

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Though thanks to "MommyGuilt" we all seem to, don't we? (sigh)

[i]Do you ever get the feeling that there is [b]just no way to 'do it right' all the time?[/b][/i] Me too! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Anyway--whenever I feel my hackles go up about something, it usually is a signal to me that I need to look in the mirror and ask myself why I am taking it personally.

There is no 'one size fits all' here. Some kids [i]need[/i] a 'real' school experience-- and for others, it is thoroughly destructive. Schooling choices are very [i]very[/i] personal parenting decisions.

Please tread lightly, everyone!! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 16, 2006

A few homeschoolers seemed to take offence when someone posted:

Quote:

To me, home schooling her would be coddling her, and enabling her anxiety level. Making it more difficult for her to live a mainstream life (something all people should be able to do, as much as possible given the restrictions of their physical capacity).

Did you ever consider the comment might not have been a comment regarding homeschooling [i]in general[/i] but just in response to this one specific situation?

The original poster said:

Quote:

My dd is in 4th grade and has been experiencing panic attacks ever since she suffered a severe allergic reaction to something she ate in late August.

and if you look at what was said that started the foray, it responds [i]directly[/i] to that. Not to all homeschoolers.

[This message has been edited by AnnaMarie (edited October 16, 2006).]

On Oct 16, 2006

<<>>

Even if that is what you meant, it doesn't make the statement less offensive. If a child had a REAL anxiety why try to force him/her to do what makes her anxious (unless it is a true neccessity, like a fear of going to the doctor or something)? Why drug a child up just so that she can 'make it through the day'? I'm truly not trying to be rude (it's so hard to read the 'tone' of someones voice on the computer, ya know?) I just don't see how that makes any sense. (I am not anti-meds, I just think that it's worth looking at alternatives before using meds. If you can solve a problem without drugs you're better off.) School (as in, a building that a child spends 7-8 hours at every day), is not a neccessity.

If the child is given a chance to be away from the stress, her anxiety might lessen or even go away completey. This doesn't cut her off from the world, as she would likely be running errands with her mom during the day, going to field trips with other homeschoolers, etc... Plenty of ways to keep her connected to the world without the crazy stress in a school (I still remember what all of that was like... I was a kid that had constant stomach aches and migraines from the stress of being around so many other kids all day. I did fine in my chosen extra-curriculars, but school wasn't the right place for me. Of course, I had to stay there, because my gramma would never homeschool me, but it only got worse).

To the OP: Seeing a need in your child (a genuine need, not a selfish want, which anxiety is a REAL need to take care of) and helping her overcome it is not coddling. It's sensible parenting. You know your child best and if you feel that homeschooling would help her, go for it. I've heard of parents that plan on homeschooling just for a year or so to get past a rough spot, and then put the child back in school. That might be right for you.

Whatever you choose, I'll keep you and your child in my prayers, that the decision you make is the best choice for your family. Good luck!!!

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b]Plenty of ways to keep her connected to the world without the crazy stress in a school (I still remember what all of that was like... I was a kid that had constant stomach aches and migraines from the stress of being around so many other kids all day. I did fine in my chosen extra-curriculars, but school wasn't the right place for me. Of course, I had to stay there, because my gramma would never homeschool me, but it only got worse).

[/b]

why gramma? was something else, other than school really the source of stress, and possibly just being manifested in school?

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by stephi13339: [b]Am I the only one embarssed by MB's rudeness?

[/b]

If you are "embarssed" I assure, you, dear woman, [i]it's nothing I have contributed to[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]

But yes, there might be something to be said for leaving certain tasks to the [i]professionals[/i].

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b] If a child had a REAL anxiety why try to force him/her to do what makes her anxious (unless it is a true neccessity, like a fear of going to the doctor or something)?[/b]

But, the anxiety in this case [i]appears[/i] to be from an allergic reaction. If the allergic reaction is the actual cause - but it manifests itself in school, and you treat it by removing her from school you are not really doing any long-term favours to the child. You need to deal with the cause of the anxiety. Otherwise it will grow. and grow.....and grow

That's not to say that homeschooling isn't an appropriate part of the answer for this child. But doing [i]just[/i] that, well, coddling might be an appropriate word. (Might not, but it might.)

btw, the part I quoted in my last post was not originally posted by me. I just don't think the person that posted it was actually saying that all homeschoolers are coddling their children.

On Oct 16, 2006

<<>>

Ahhh, then let me apologize for assuming that you originally wrote that. I am horrible about remembering names and such. (Seriously, LOL, if I'm scolding one son I'll say the other ones name, or maybe even my hubby's name. One day I even used the dogs name... and no, I'm not joking, LOL)

Yes, it's good to look into different ways, more than one if possible, to deal with anxiety in a child. Even if it were just a break, it may help her. I know that sometimes I need to step back and remove myself from a problem or stress, just to be able to take a good look at it and feel like I can gain some control again. Some people aren't like that though, and may need to 'get right back on the horse'. It depends on the child.

Ugh, I don't know how to get 2 quotes in here from different people. I think it was MB that asked why my gramma made the decision to leave me in school? My gramma raised me from the time that I was a small baby. No, there weren't streeses at home at all (gramma removed me from the situation that would have caused me stress, LOL). My biggest stress with school is that I, like my oldest son, am an aspie. It drove me crazy to constantly be forced to be around other same-age peers (they acted sooooo immature and I couldn't take it). I was the type of kid that did great with school work and would have been happy just to get all my work done early in the day and then leave school. *sigh* Too bad real school can't allow kids to do that, if they'd be better off that way. Luckily, I was able to graduate at 16 and go to college. I fit in much better there, and you can pick and choose classes based on your own needs/desires.

On Oct 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [B My biggest stress with school is that I, like my oldest son, am an aspie. It drove me crazy to constantly be forced to be around other same-age peers (they acted sooooo immature and I couldn't take it). I was the type of kid that did great with school work and would have been happy just to get all my work done early in the day and then leave school. *sigh* Too bad real school can't allow kids to do that, if they'd be better off that way. Luckily, I was able to graduate at 16 and go to college. [/B]

Well, howdy hey. I too, graduated early and went off to college young.

Some things only time can prepare for.

I was never pulled from school despite difficulties socially. (Was adored by my teachers ~ aside from the principal that referred to me as a "lightening rod for trouble". [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Note: [i]recent commentary on my supposed ability to produce prominent capillary circulation and sympathomimetic response in susceptible individuals.[/i]

No advice, but I think in my case, it would have been a huge mistake. Pulling me. I'm a much stronger person for the lack of it.

At least I think so. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] It's all rather Kafkaesque, you and I commenting on this, isn't it? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]

On Oct 16, 2006

***Note: recent commentary on my supposed ability to produce prominent capillary circulation and sympathomimetic response in susceptible individuals.***

I am cracking up here! I read said 'commentary' and didn't see rudeness. I think it's because I'm an aspie, I just figured you were 'matter of fact'. Depends on how you look at things, eh? I tend to be very blunt, without realizing the social ramifications, and get myself into trouble, LOL. Too funny!

On Oct 16, 2006

StephR,

were or are you involved in any "homeschooling/educating" groups?

On Oct 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by MommaBear: [b]StephR,

were or are you involved in any "homeschooling/educating" groups?[/b]

I have a couple of HS BB that I post on. Sonlight, A Home for Homeschoolers, a yahoo group for homeschooling aspies, a blog at Homeschoolblogger, and also the BB at Winterpromise (not very frequently there). Those are all I can remember off of the top of my head, LOL.

You?

On Oct 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [BYes, it's good to look into different ways, more than one if possible, to deal with anxiety in a child. Even if it were just a break, it may help her. I know that sometimes I need to step back and remove myself from a problem or stress, just to be able to take a good look at it and feel like I can gain some control again. Some people aren't like that though, and may need to 'get right back on the horse'. It depends on the child. [/B]

Are you sure you don't want to change what you said? We are at risk of agreeing on something. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (The internet being what it is, I will explain that this comment is a joke, but that I agree with what you said. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] )

I will explain how to quote two different posts in the OT. You can look for it shortly. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Oct 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b] I have a couple of HS BB that I post on. Sonlight, A Home for Homeschoolers, a yahoo group for homeschooling aspies, a blog at Homeschoolblogger, and also the BB at Winterpromise (not very frequently there). Those are all I can remember off of the top of my head, LOL.

You?[/b]

I don't mix much. Neither does my husband. It's not like my children would have any "groups" opportunity/contact if I chose to homeschool again.

No more than the oodles of posts I make here would change that. KWIM?

Oh, don't get me wrong. [i]I would love to keep them home....[/i]

I have a "hands on" parenting style, and they are the only real social contact aside from hubby and work and here and appointments, that I have. It would be GREAT. Would love it. I *did* love it. And yes! [i]It was great not having to keep a schedule.[/i] It was wonderful [i]not having to deal with people[/i]. The seclusion was addictive. But my convienience and preference aren't the sole basis for making a decision. Or at least it shouldn't be.

And their opportunity to meet, engage, and understand people other than their immediate family would, indeed, be severely limited. It's important, I think, to have that opportunity, even if it's not your bag.

It's been said I can handle myself. Am adept. Extremely well spoken. Savvy.

[i]Good.[/i] It's what I desire for my children as well.

On Oct 17, 2006

and oooo. [i]I have some people to deal with today.[/i] (cracking knuckles)

Seriously? If the school district doesn't like waking up to my morning emails, [i]they should devise a less easily deduced email addy system.[/i]

FOOLS! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (sinister laugh)

On Oct 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by AnnaMarie: [b] Are you sure you don't want to change what you said? We are at risk of agreeing on something. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (The internet being what it is, I will explain that this comment is a joke, but that I agree with what you said. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] )

I will explain how to quote two different posts in the OT. You can look for it shortly. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img][/b]

LOL... I think we would have had more to agree on if I weren't so, ummmmmm, blunt? LOL Sorry if I came across as confrontational. I need to try better not to, ya know?

Okay, now I'm putting your directions to the test... Let's see if they were clear enough (on how to quote 2 people). Thanks for posting those.

Quote:

I don't mix much. Neither does my husband. It's not like my children would have any "groups" opportunity/contact if I chose to homeschool again

Hmmm.. I hope that worked.

I don't mix well in large groups (I look for any reason to leave, LOL). I do well at small things, like church groups, taking the boys to Cub Scouts, field trips with one or two other families, etc, but get me in a large crowd and I go nuts. (Yes, 'nuts' is a technical term, LOL)

Quote:

It's been said I can handle myself. Am adept. Extremely well spoken. Savvy.

LMBO.. I doubt you've been accused often of not being able to handle yourself.

On Oct 17, 2006

Hot diggity dog! It worked! I am now saavy enough to post more than one quote in a reply. (LOL, I'm easily amused and it's been a long day already).

On Oct 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally posted by StephR: [b] LMBO.. I doubt you've been accused often of not being able to handle yourself. [/b]

LMAOT!!! RIGHT OVER MY HEAD!!! [i]or maybe over yours too[/i]. I trip over my feet [i]all the time[/i].

easily amused?? I guess so...I amuse people all the time, even when I'm not intending too. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

here, have some monkey wings. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

On Aug 4, 2007

Bump for Tammy

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