HELP!!!! Birthday party for 9 yr old

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 5:55am
Gwen 5's picture
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Joined: 01/24/2003 - 09:00

My dd is 9 and was invited to a party-

they are going to see a movie, have pizza and cake-

not sure if pizza and cake are at home or restaurant-

Here are my questions...

Do you let your children this age go without you?

How would you handle this party???

I feel like it is safe BUT there are issues...

I can't tag along forever... how do you handle this??

Do you teach the other parents about the Epi etc?

Please give me some guidance... remember we have to let these kids have some independence at some point but when????

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 6:22am
McCobbre's picture
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Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

DS is 9. We still go. There are two parents I would trust to deal with this, and DS plays at their homes already.
I'd call about the pizza, give your child a cupcake (there are store bought cakes we let DS eat at parties from 3 store bakeries in town--our comfort zone--we've talked w/ management extensively and read labels on icing tubs there-and do so ocassionally--but if I weren't going to be right there, I'd cupcake it). Then I'd go see a different movie (or two, depending on the timeframe of the party) and just be there.
Wait--pizza and cake at child's house and then movie? If so, I'd cupcake it and wait out in the car, perhaps volunteer to drive a group of the kids so you can have your child with you in the car and see a different movie at the theatre, possibly giving him a cell phone to call you but certainly letting him know where you will be sitting.
I have known parents to let their 8 year old go to the movie alone with an older (responsible) sibling. Not us, even w/o PA. W/ PA, no way.

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 6:26am
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

I will not allow my child to go to a movie without myself or DH.
The reason is that EVERY time we go, seems there are peanut m&m's on the floor, reeses residue everywhere, the last time we went, DS met a bunch of friends and wouldn't you know, there was a smashed reese's on his armrest. DS always wears long pants, jacket covering his arms, I wipe the armrests and check the area before we sit. It requires getting there in advance!
The other concern I have with movie theatres is that it is dark and symptoms of a reaction may not be apparent especially if one or two moms are "in charge."

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 6:32am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

this is what we do, my son is 7:
1. call the host parents and find out where cake is from, if not comfortable then I send a cupcake. Pizza is in our zone, but I still find out where and what toppings.
2. Talk to the other parents about the severity of ds's allergies and what we do.
3. DS wears his own epi pack.
4. If I really feel uneasy I feed ds at home before party and he doesn't eat.
5. tell him to have a great time!
6. hold my breath for two hours...
So far, this has worked for us and my son has a great time. My son is VERY social, and I have really had to let go of my own protectiveness in order for him to do the things he wants to do. We always go over our emergency protocol and he knows not to eat anything that he has any questions about.
------------------
mom to Ari(7) - severe nut allergies, asthma, you name it - and Maya (9), mild excema

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 7:08am
chanda4's picture
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Joined: 12/14/2006 - 09:00

I would still go with my son as well. I'd buy myself a movie ticket(so the parents don't have too) and sit a few rows behind the group(after checking his seats). That way you will have the Epi and all is good. As for pizza and cake, no cake....I'd send in a cupcake and I'd ask where the pizza was from(I often tell the parents Jake can eat quite a few pizza places, but no Pizza Hut(peanut warning on red sauce).
My son has been invited to a few b-days this year, and I only went to the ones I could attend. We skipped those I couldn't.
If these were good friends, I would consider it differently, but if it's just a classmate and not too close, I'd attend....JMHO!!!
------------------
Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma)
Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig and EE)
Savannah-1 (milk and egg)

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 7:55am
kelly01's picture
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Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

We handle the same as Thatsmetrying (sp?). My son is 10, but we have handled it this way since about 7 or 8 years old.
Kelly

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 10:01am
Carefulmom's picture
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Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

We don`t do movies unless it is the first show of the day and the movie has been out a long time, so that the theater is almost empty. Too many crumbs otherwise, not to mention people sitting down right behind you eating their peanut candy. Once we went to a movie that had only been out about three weeks. The theater was packed and I found myself constantly watching and turning around to see who was eating what candy. I could tell that the other people were annoyed, and we could not find seats anywhere where we would have a few empty seats on each side, in front, and behind.
About the 9 year old going to a party without you, I think it really depends on whether you believe he would recognize a reaction and use the epi correctly. At 9 I allowed it, but I would not have allowed this situation due to the movie theater. About the food, if dd is at a party without me, she is only allowed to eat something sealed with ingredients. So if it we could get past the movie issue, I would let her buy candy and read the ingredients.

Posted on: Mon, 06/11/2007 - 11:46pm
Spoedig's picture
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Joined: 09/17/2004 - 09:00

My 10 year old son has been twice to a movie b-day party and has another soon. He was almost 8 the first time.
I agree with that'smetrying.
We do make it no big deal for my son not to eat. In this case the MOVIE is the activity and my son just has a drink and is fine. He eats a meal at home before or after. We all can have a good time without food.
I also ALWAYS give the hosting parent my cell phone number to call in an emergency(and tell them that all the emergency numbers and info are in my child's epi-pack - and he wears it under his shirt).

Posted on: Tue, 06/12/2007 - 12:28am
maphiemom's picture
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Joined: 12/01/2005 - 09:00

I would let my non allegic child go without me , after the last party and first party we let my allergic child go to she had a mystery reaction.I think it is so much to ask of parents to watch and act properly in case of emergency, I would go to a movie at the same time.We go to the movies all the time with our kids and there has never been a problem of hives not a sign of trouble.Knock on wood.
Just another added dilema for the parents of allergic kids.

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