Having a second child when first is PA?!

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 6:23am
bunkysmom's picture
Joined: 06/17/2001 - 09:00

Hi everyone! This is my second attempt to start this topic as my computer keeps crashing! Anyway, we are starting (not trying!) to think about having another child. For those of you who have 2 or more kids, how and when did you decide you were ready for more kids? Were you afraid that your other children would also have the same allergies? I feel like I have so much to worry about with Katie, I couldn't imagine having to go through the same thing with another baby! Not to mention the fact that feeding Katie is a feat in and of itself. I'd be very interested to hear how you all came to your decisions and how you cope with more than one child who has sever food allergies.


bunkysmom [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 11:30am
SF's picture
Joined: 06/06/2002 - 09:00

Hi bunkysmom! I too, felt the same way. My boys are 3 1/2 and 16 months. My first is PA and second is not. Somehow you just manage, but it is a joy to have a second, of course. I was so worried that he would also be an allergic child but things have been totally different, and pa does not always run in families. I do believe that the peanut butter that I consumed during pregnancy and breastfeeding has much to do with my PA childs allergies. We have been a nut free family since he was diagnosed at one year old and thats partially why my second child is fine. I could tell that things were different, he didn't have reflux as an infant and no strange rashes. As for having 2 kids with allergies, well, you already have a safe home, and know how to handle it. I think there are always concerns when going from one child to parenting 2 children. Hopefully you will get some other feedback from families with more than on PA child. Hope this helps.

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 11:52am
DeeJay's picture
Joined: 07/05/2000 - 09:00

Hi Bunkysmom--I have two sons, we knew our older son was severely allergic before becoming pregnant with the second, but because we knew I eliminated all peanut products from my diet and nursed #2 for 14 months and kept him away from all high-allergy foods. #2 has also tested allergic to peanuts but at a much lower level, and since he has never had a reaction I am hoping that someday he may outgrow it.
I am bumping up a thread that dealt with this about a year ago, there were some very intense opinions about this but it is interesting to see what other parents think.

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 2:09pm
bunkysmom's picture
Joined: 06/17/2001 - 09:00

Thanks SF and Dee Jay for your input! I read all of the posts from the thread you brought up and it made me realize that yes, there are no guarantees and I know I would love our second child just as much as our first.
I also ate copious amounts of peanut butter while nursing Katie. I'm sure genetics had a lot to do with her allergy, but sometimes you just can't help but blame yourself. Next time I'll know better!!!
Thanks and stay safe!
bunkysmom [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 8:59pm
williamsmummy's picture
Joined: 03/26/2002 - 09:00

Hello, well I have four children and was very lucky that the first 2 only had mild hay fever as young children, the third baby is my pa child as well as other allergies and we decided to stick to three chidlren, then surprize the fourth ! during this pregnancy i avoided nuts and overdosing on some foods ie milk, dairy products , etc. I must admit that i did eat a load of raw mushrooms !!!
I did worry more about leaving my son with others while i went in to hospital to give birth, but all went well, mainly because i "droped her" and ran back home as soon as they would let me!!!!
bye williamsmummy

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 9:03pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I have four kids, third one with PA. I didn't know the third was PA until the fourth was 5 months old. I must admit, however, I don't plan on having anymore. Four is a handful, and my son's PA would make me have second thoughts on having a fifth. For me, it's a time management thing--more kids, less time to deal with the one that needs special handling. I can't even begin to imagine multiple children, multiple food allergies. If I only had one or two children, however, I don't think it would make much impact on my decision to have another. But if I knew before I became pregnant with my fourth child, I might have taken better precautions to not get pregnant. But you know how it is. I can't imagine life without number four. What a joy he is...as well as all the others.

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 9:40pm
Claire's picture
Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

I have 3 children. Chris the first 15 years old has had PA since 10months. The truth is I would have a million if it was possible. The allergy would never stop me. The best part is that him being first the others have never known any other way of life and are excellent with protecting and understanding. My daughter is 10 and has bad allergies to cats and outdoor things. My 3 year old so far so good. However has never had nuts of any type. My daughter has had nuts and not at our home mind you we have none in the house. She grabbed a peanut butter cup of a counter somewhere when small and had no reaction. Not fun for me waiting to see the outcome.
I think had i had a handicap child my thoughts would have been"can i do this again" because there is so much work and worry in taking care of them.
I never would hold back on having a child because of a food issue. I can not imagine my life without all of my kids. Christopher enjoys his little brother so much that i can not imagine missing this. He gives him hugs and kisses and playes football with him. The other day he dressed Stephen up in his football gear and took the time to explain why he wears it all.
I think when it comes down to it we need to look past the allergy and think about things like this. Of course the 10 year old being the only girl "princess' has her moments where they argue over things,but I think that is what makes them true kids anyway.
I always knew i wanted my children spaced apart just because I felt that way they would all get the one on one they needed. The minute that the baby is born the last thing you would think of is "can we handle this",because we can.
It is the most wonderful feeling in the world when they are talking and laughing together. I will never forget the time Christopher was little holding Jennifer and he said"I love Jennifer mommy". As they say your heart becomes so much bigger that you can handle anything it isn't as hard as we think.
Don't let an allergy hold you back from a second child. take care claire

Posted on: Wed, 08/15/2001 - 10:52pm
Lisayas's picture
Joined: 03/16/2001 - 09:00

I was not going to let PA get us down! We are expecting our second child at the end of next February! No peanut butter for me!! I guess when you are pregnant with the second one you are so much more aware of things that can go wrong. But I have always wanted two children so here we go!! Evan (with PA) just had his two year old check up and the pediatrician pronounced him "very healthy". That is more that I can ask for, and if PA is the worst thing that we have to deal with for him so be it. Have a great day!

Posted on: Thu, 08/16/2001 - 1:19am
Xena66's picture
Joined: 08/10/2001 - 09:00

Hi bunkysmom! I have 2 children. My first is extremely atopic but I did not know of her anaphylaxis til after I was pregnant for my son. I know I would never have thought twice however, and still would have had him. The good news is, he is the total opposite to my daughter. He's only allergic to the only anti-biotic she is not! Haha! He has the softest, smoothest skin (my daughter has terrible eczema) and no food allergies. We waited til he was 3, then tried him on peanut, then soon after had him tested just to know before he went to school if we needed to worry.
Of course, each child usually does have their week spots, and he had his. 19 ear infections by the time he was 2 1/2! 2 sets of tubes, and adenoids out. He's 6 now and knock on wood, all done!
I wouldn't trade having a 2nd child for anything. And just think, if they were also atopic, you're already all set up for it! Haha!
Good luck!
Michelle [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 08/16/2001 - 5:05am
MaiasMom's picture
Joined: 07/17/2001 - 09:00

Hi Bunkysmom!!
I am in the same place that you are. We have one daughter who is 18 mos and PA. I have been having the same thoughts lately about #2 and whether or not having another child would affect how well I can manage her allergy, keep her safe, keep an eye on her at all times when away from home, keep up with calling manufacturers, keeping abreast of research etc. I'd never imagined having just one child, but I wonder if it's selfish to want another and share some of the time and attention that I need to give to her. At other times, I think that a sibling may be the healthiest thing for her to have and I know he/she would be a blessing for everyone. I don't know. I had a miscarriage shortly before we found out about her PA, and so that plays into our decision too. I don't think too much about "what if another child is allergic" b/c we're already knee+ deep into this whole thing, already have learned to carry epi's and how to use them, etc, although I know there'd be 2 kids to worry about then, instead of 1. So you see, I'm where you are. I wish I could say "to heck with the PA...not going to let it affect me this way"...I really admire that attitude, but I'm not emotionally there yet. This probably doesn't help your decision, but I thought I'd let you know that I've been thinking about the same thing. Take Care.

Posted on: Thu, 08/16/2001 - 10:52am
KarenT's picture
Joined: 10/30/1999 - 09:00

We have four children and would not change anything. Our first was the allergic. We did not know how bad her allergies where until our second child was one year old. We were still unaware of what it ment to be allergic to Peanuts and Nuts.
My daughter who is allergic is 11 and will eat anything she can, my son is 8, he is the picky eater, he will not touch anything in the fruit and veg. department other than apples and bananas (he also has problems with textures), then the good Lord gave me my 5 and 3 year old girls who will try anything and like almost anything!
I feel that our lives were allready mapped out because of our oldest daughters allergies. Her allergies made us carefully choice were we eat, what food we buy and so on, it does not matter how many mouths we have to feed.
Our 8 year old son is going to be challenge tested for the first time next week. He has always had another child in his class with allergies so he has always been in a nut free class. Our 5 year old daughter was challenge tested last August because she was going to school and not going to be in a nut free class (no reaction!). Our 3 year old daughter has never had nuts or peanuts.
How many children you have should be determined by what size of family you always wanted.
There is another topic on this board that someone else had the same question but I do not know how long ago it was.
Good luck with your family planning!


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