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Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:56am
momll70's picture
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While waiting on line at a ride someone in front of us was eating peanut butter crackers. Walking in the city (New York) everyone eats peanuts on the streets. Waiting in line for Santa Clause. We actually got off the line. While watching the Lion King play nuts all around. I get so tired of being careful. In a museum cafeteria. Won't eat lunch there anymore because my son's eyes started to turn red. Sometimes I feel like we are a magnet for peanuts. I know it sounds crazy but simetimes that is how it is.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:57am
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Yes, no, I don't know in answer to the original question...how is that for honest?
My favorite is when I see parents allowing their kids to eat fruit from the produce section without washing it or paying for it first. Do you weigh the kid before and after so you pay the right amount? Why is it that Target feels the need to hassle me because I allow my son to ride in the basket portion of the cart yet say nothing to the parents stealing food (produce)? I'm trying my best to make my $220 stretch over a two week pay period to include diapers, formula and food for 3 adults and one child. But I have to wonder about those women wandering around in their name brand clothing, $300 sunglasses and dripping with diamonds teaching their kids that it's okay to steal. Shoplifters will be prosecuted - yeah right! Shoplifters will drive the price of the produce through the roof making it nearly impossible for those of us trying to live a healthier lifestyle on a budget.
Ooops, you found my hot topic button. I will reset and retreat to the corner now since I totally went off topic and on a rampage!
------------------
Mommy to Aiden (1/26/05) PA,wheat,barley,soy,egg and others yet to be discovered and Connor (7/21/06) with possible egg allergy

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 11:02am
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Actually, I never say anything to anyone unless they are talking to my son. One time someone I knew was looking at my son's carseat and I smelled peanuts on her. she was munching on them she had them in her pockets. I mentioned it to her because I knew her. But I don't say anything to strangers unless someone goes to touch him or give him something to eat.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 11:07am
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I was at a stop & shop and their was a slow person helping the cashier. She was baging. She just finished eating a sandwich. I couldn't tell what kind it was but she was drooling a little and I started to panick because I didn't want her touching my bags. I didn't want to be rude to her but I started to bag as fast as I could and she kept telling me that she would do it. She bagged about 2 bags and when I went home I wiped and washed everything that I could. I don't care about germs so much, it's the peanuts that scare me to death.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:40pm
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Hey Jennifer...you just described me (except the sunglasses....)...and my sons don't steal or shoplift(said with a wry smile)...at least not yet...but that 3yo is already giving me a run for my money...so you never know what the teenage years will bring [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:14pm
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I think I am going to have to revise my previous answer. At target, walmart, etc...No, I am not going to say anything to the lady pushing the cart. I myself am quite guilty of allowing my preschoolers to snack while I am shopping. Peanut free food, but still food. But, if while at the nutcraker someone decides to open a Reese's in the chair beside or behind us, I am absolutely going to say something! If it actually puts my child in immediate danger, rather than situation where I can move my cart to next aisle, YES...I will speak up.
One time at Kroger, the girl at the register was eating a Snickers and sitting it down beside the register while scanning. I saw this after a few items and did move to another line. She felt awful but many people looked at me like I was crazy! I did not want her contaminated hands touching all the food I was bringing home. And then I wondered how many people had just eaten nut products w/o washing hands and I just didn't SEE it. KWIM?

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:53pm
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I remember once in my synagogue a lady in front of me took out peanut butter crackers to give to her child. It was a long day in synagogue.
I told her that the next day my son would be with us for services and if she is there would she please bring something besides peanut butter? She told me her son was not growing properly and she needed to feed him frequently. I then told her my son would die if exposed to her peanut butter and she immediately said she never knew and would not bring PB to synagogue again.
That was pretty decent of her and I had to do that in order to show my son how it's done.
We spend Christmas eve with our neighbors and they spend a night of Hanukkah with us. One Christmas eve she put out a bowl of peanuts. My son was maybe 10. He said "Sally I can't stay here as long as those peanuts are in this room. Would you mind putting them outside?" She did so immediately. If I had asked her she would have done it only after an eye roll.
I felt DS was well within his rights since Sally knew about his allergy. It went over well and she has never set out nuts since.
Peg

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 12:20am
ajas_folks's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]
I also don't buy into the argument about there should be no food anywhere, anytime...last statistic I saw was that 1 in 6 children is obese. THE REST ARE NOT! In my son's school of 250 elementary children, I can only think of a handful that are obviously overweight. IMO it is all about balance. I dont' want to give my kids junk food or processed food ALL THE TIME...but it is okay to have. For me it is just as much about exercise as food consumption.
[/b]
Just truly wondering where you live that kids are so seemingly healthy?
Your jaw would DROP if you saw the kids here in Georgia where we are! I would say that 4 of 6 are overweight &/or obese. And the kids in Texas (from where we just moved) -- well, San Antonio is on record as one of fattest places in US -- the childhood obesity rate is HUGE as is the childhood DIABETES rate!
Corn syrup combined with little exercise equals a deadly combination, IMHO.
~EB

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:24am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... [i]I should know better.[/b]
Would that be directed at me? A frappucino is not really my poison of choice, and I'm hardy an ignoramus (nor likely to "pop" at any time soon).
Obesity epidemic aside, I still don't see how berating the general public about their eating habits helps spread the word about allergies. Before my DS was diagnosed, I would have thought someone was a lunatic if they did this to me.
Pegs example of her son at her firends house I agree with - immediate problem directly impacting her son. Someone walking by us in the mall (or park, or library or whatever) does not). And for what its worth, I can't even presume to speak for all peanut allergy sufferers, only my son. For as many people dealing with this who are worried about residue and such at say, Walmart, there are many that are not (and as a matter of fact not worried about too many things at all), so my comments about allergies to the "slobbering pig" who's chowing down in the produce aisle while valid for me, in my situation, will only be seen as crazy when some other PA sufferer dismisses them as too much.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 4:29am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Absolutely NOT!! (Definitely didn't mean it to sound accusatory if it did.)
Eating that goes on in public places like stores is just a huge downer in my life.
For those of us dealing with aerosol sensitivity, this is a huge problem. It would be one thing if we could just evaluate risk ahead of time-- but the problem is that you [i]never know[/i] where you will encounter someone eating these days. And sorry-- but there are times when that DOES pose an immediate danger.
As I said, we most frequently DON'T say anything. We've been forced to walk away from many situations where we had paid perfectly good money to attend. We go out of our way to [i]never[/i] inconvenience anyone else because of my daughter's allergies.
My point was simply that we should probably all try to [i]be[/i] the change we would like to see. Just as none of us would ignore a classroom ban on a food our child isn't allergic to. For me, that means no food and drink while I shop.
I make it a point to act (at least I try) in a way that I wish everyone would. Even if it sometimes seems I'm the only one. Actions speak louder than words, Caeser's wife, and all that. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 4:32am
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must speak to this point again...
my dd is milk allergic and peanut allergic. yes, i will occasionally have a latte while shopping. yes, i wipe down the carts (and everything else in the world [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img])
when i bring her out in public. no, i don't think it's being a hypocrite. i would never, ever deem it appropriate to tell a perfect stranger in public what they should and shouldn't eat.
my little girl knows the world is full of dairy and that she must be careful because of her allergy. (she knows about nuts as well, but, let's face it, dairy is so much more prevalent.) i guess it's just OUR approach in OUR circumstance, but dh and i are not going to go dairy-free (however, we are cautious to the point of lunacy in our home) nor do we expect the world to go food-free. it's an unrealistic expectation that will only doom the allergic community to failure when it comes to educating the public.
NO ONE wants to be told what they can and can't eat (let alone, by a perfect stranger). be careful where you tread here. i have NEVER had a difficult time with the public and dd's allergies (and yes, we do inform people of them at her activities, at restaurants, etc.) -- not even once. i've never seen the "eye roll" from someone; i've never "got into it" with someone. patting myself on the back? no. i just believe that it is because i don't look to the general public to take any responsibility for her allergies (if she were in school that would be a different story). it's all on me, all on our family. ultimately, we must take care of ourselves.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:39am
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Quote:
NO ONE wants to be told what they can and can't eat...
No kidding. But I don't think it is unreasonable to have restrictions on WHERE that activity is inappropriate, if you KWIM.
If I can agree that there are places where using my cell phone or lighting up a cigar is just plain rude and obnoxious (or even dangerous), then I don't see why consuming food and drink needs to be totally an "at will" activity either.
So I don't think it is really out of line for *anyone* to remind another person of [i]posted restrictions[/i] that they are currently violating. Be it eating, cell phone usage, smoking, or letting their dog take a cr@p in the middle of a park.
The ONLY times that I have ever said something to a person I don't even know have been in cases where I literally had no other choice and was in a position where I had to do something to mitigate an immediate danger to my daughter. Those I can count on one hand in SIX years. Easily.
I [i]have[/i] complained in public places which are posted "no food and drink" that those running the place need to enforce it or stop pretending it is policy.
Our reality is that the little things other people do for their convenience have a huge impact on my daughter's quality of life. Sad but true for anyone with severe contact/aerosol sensitivity. We go through quarts of Benadryl.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:18am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] No kidding. But I don't think it is unreasonable to have restrictions on WHERE that activity is inappropriate, if you KWIM.
[/b]
i think it IS unreasonable to regulate (and then, let me guess, legislate) whether or not people can eat/drink while they are grocery shopping or doing other normal, everyday activities.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:22am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]
Our reality is that the little things other people do for their convenience have a huge impact on my daughter's quality of life. [/b]
no kidding. ours, too. but i still think it is MY responsibilty to change the situation (which usually means removing ourselves from a potentially dangerous situation), not the other persons. it is MY obligation to deal with dd's allergies, no one else's.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:51am
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I recall quite clearly a time in my life when smokers felt that way about being told they should not be lighting up inside public buildings like libraries and grocery stores... or for that matter, buses and airplanes.
They regarded it as [i]their RIGHT[/i] to do so wherever and whenever they pleased. I distinctly recall my father being incensed by those restrictions on his "rights" in a HOSPITAL. (Geeeez...)
Does this notion of where it is "normal" to eat and drink include the local library? A courtroom? The ballet? Public transportation? Museums? What about my allergist's office? Does it extend [i]everywhere[/i] ? Because it seems to me that this boundary of where that socially acceptable line is has really been pushed back over the last two decades.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:03am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I recall quite clearly a time in my life when smokers felt that way about being told they should not be lighting up inside public buildings like libraries and grocery stores... or for that matter, buses and airplanes.
They regarded it as [i]their RIGHT[/i] to do so wherever and whenever they pleased. I distinctly recall my father being incensed by those restrictions on his "rights" in a HOSPITAL. (Geeeez...)
Does this notion of where it is "normal" to eat and drink include the local library? A courtroom? The ballet? Public transportation? Museums? What about my allergist's office? Does it extend [i]everywhere[/i] ? Because it seems to me that this boundary of where that socially acceptable line is has really been pushed back over the last two decades.
[/b]
as much as i HATE, HATE, HATE, smoking and second hand smoke, i do take issue with legislating all businesses to ban smoking. another issue...
whether or not it is "normal" is not the question. if a business -- library, theater, store, etc. -- chooses to make it their policy that no food is allowed, then people should absolutely abide. the establishment will gain some business because of it (like from all of us) and probably lose some business (from those who must eat at that given moment), but it is the businesses choice. if you allergist's office chooses to allow people to eat in the office, then you need to do whatever you can to make your children safe (as i am certain you do). do i think you should you talk to the allergist about the policy? sure. do i think you should go up to individuals and tell them not to eat? NO WAY (and that was the original question in this post).
my feeling is that if we are in a public place, and there is no policy against eating, then we have to make the decision whether or not it is safe to keep our daughter there. others should not be put under an obligation, whatsoever, unless they are violating a policy.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:13am
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Corvallis Mom, I can see we may possibly be outnumbered on this. And that we've struck a chord. . . bummer.
I am personally NOT asking any legal entity to legislate or regulate this. Just expecting perhaps, some level of personal responsiblity and possibly [i] moderation [/i] or self-control . . . Or more better stated,
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on [b] [i] chewing gum. [/i] [/b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:19am
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Quote:Originally posted by shoshana18:
[b]. . . do i think you should go up to individuals and tell them not to eat? NO WAY (and that was the original question in this post).
[/b]
Uh, NO.
THIS was the original question posed, and I quote:
[i] Just curious as to how you would have handled this??? would you have said something? [/i]
For the record.
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:22am
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Quote:Originally posted by ajas_folks:
[b] . . . Or more better stated,
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on [b] [i] chewing gum. [/i] [/b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth
elizabeth,
i totally agree with you (oh my, it could be a first [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]). i would LOVE to see that too. a return to civility, in so many ways, would be a wonderful thing. i just don't think approaching a stranger about what they are eating is a good idea, that's all.
don't get me wrong -- i can just start fuming over all of the people eating peanuts, snickers bars, M&Ms, etc. at our local library; i'm exasperated that when i went to Old Navy and put my dd (when she was a baby) in a cart, she immediately broke out in hives because, most likely, some child was eating in the store prior to this...and i could go on and on. do i get mad? da*n straight i do! but i can't abandon my basic belief system (in personal responibility) because i got dealt this hand (of food allergies).
anyway, just wanted to clarify...
[/b]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:25am
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Thanks for clarifying... I happen to agree, though I would add that a lot of places historically haven't been confronted with people thinking that it [i]was okay to eat there.[/i] KWIM? Social acceptance shifted on them. Thirty years ago, no library needed to impose posted policy on the matter (outside of universities, where grad students have always sneaked coffee into the stacks [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )... now people assume some pretty outrageous things about what is okay personal behavior. Let's face it-- just because it isn't specifically prohibited doesn't make it okay!!
I mean, there isn't a sign at the library that says I can't mix myself a scotch and soda during preschool story time, either. The grocery store doesn't have a sign that says "No farm animals allowed" either. There is nothing to prevent me from wearing lingerie to a parent-teacher conference as far as I know... but none of these are (at the moment, anyway...) socially acceptable. YET. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
As an amusing aside here, my FIL to this day maintains that [i]'They've never proven that second-hand smoke ever hurt ANYONE.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] Unbelievable.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:31am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Thanks for clarifying... I happen to agree, though I would add that a lot of places historically haven't been confronted with people thinking that it [i]was okay to eat there.[/i] KWIM? Social acceptance shifted on them. Thirty years ago, no library needed to impose posted policy on the matter (outside of universities, where grad students have always sneaked coffee into the stacks [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )... now people assume some pretty outrageous things about what is okay personal behavior. Let's face it-- just because it isn't specifically prohibited doesn't make it okay!!
I mean, there isn't a sign at the library that says I can't mix myself a scotch and soda during preschool story time, either. The grocery store doesn't have a sign that says "No farm animals allowed" either. There is nothing to prevent me from wearing lingerie to a parent-teacher conference as far as I know... but none of these are (at the moment, anyway...) socially acceptable. YET. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
As an amusing aside here, my FIL to this day maintains that [i]'They've never proven that second-hand smoke ever hurt ANYONE.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] Unbelievable. [/b]
believe it or not, my library actually has vending machines!!!! full of soda, candy bars, bags of peanuts, peanut butter crackers, etc. needless to say, i never bring dd there -- i just pick up books by myself. and needless to say, it is one more reason i can't wait to move out of arizona!

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:32am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on chewing gum.
HEAR HEAR!!! (Wild applause!!!)
Personally, I would feel that way with or without food allergies. I find the idea of food-smeared people of any age pawing at clothing I might be trying on to just be revolting.
Though I, too, almost NEVER say anything. For the same reasons that Shoshana doesn't, incidentally. But I refuse to give in and behave just like them. (Just as I don't laugh at inappropriate jokes, even if I don't say anything.) And hey, holding off on that scotch and soda during storytime was occasionally a real sacrifice. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] And I have [i]always[/i] wanted to take a llama with me to get produce. I think it would be fun.
Be the change you seek. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:37am
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corvallis mom,
i'm thinking...bloody mary! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
tomato juice in a cup? no one would be the wiser...
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:43am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Pina colada.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 10:13am
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I do speak up on occasion if a person dealing with the public (i.e. cashier) is eating nuts on the job . . . I don't all the time, but sometimes I do.
I have approached people eating peanuts and/or nuts and or donuts in study areas in the library where no food is allowed. I leave carrot-stick munchers and coffee drinkers be, however [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:22pm
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... I should know better.
[/b]
I [i]hate[/i] people who chew ice. I give them the [i]evil eye[/i].
It's the single most repulsive thing I've ever encountered.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:31pm
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Quote:Originally posted by patsmommy:
[b] I am shamed. With the DD in one of the local supermarkets i have to admit once in awhile I do get a cup of coffe to drink while shopping. Don't I feel like a hypocrite. Shamed seriously. [/b]
awwwwwwwwwww. [i]we love you[/i]. Seriously. I grab that little mini cup of joe from the machine in our store too. (it's free). I just don't use the creamer and sugar (gross--gross-gross). I only grab a bakery sample if my cubs aren't with me, and it's [i]new and fresh[/i].
But never, never, NEVER chew ice around me.
Seriously. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:34pm
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Quote:Originally posted by happycat:
[b]
Obesity epidemic aside, [/b]
we're gonna need more electric carts. . .

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 4:23am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] we're gonna need more electric carts. . .
[/b]
... with double-wide seats.
All the better to bring the groceries home in, my dear.

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 5:22am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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ROFLMAO!!!! (My lard A**, that is...)
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 6:24am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] I [i]hate[/i] people who chew ice. I give them the [i]evil eye[/i].
It's the single most repulsive thing I've ever encountered. [/b]
Guilty.
But can't be the [i][b]single most[/i][/b] respulsive thing. I can think of lots more. Like smacking bubble gum is [i]much, much worse.[/i]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 6:31am
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I'm going to go with Corvallis Mom on this one (as if I didn't for so many things). As a society we [b]have[/b] pushed the limits way too far out there for eating in public. Way.
I have said and will continue to say something to people who are affecting my DS. These situations are typically in theatres where we've paid dearly for our seats, and people really, really, really should not be snacking. Goodness. DS had an airborne reaction at a ballet performance, and I turned around and gave the peanut M&M mucher the evil eye. I also tried to buy up all the peanut M&Ms before the next performance (DS was in the 1st act of this performance).
When people are really not supposed to be eating and there are signs asking them not to and their eating peanut products interferes with our intended purpose, there eating get trumped. Sorry.
Now, at places like the rodeo or the circus when we try to go, we just expect to move. We don't expect people to not eat peanuts because we're there. We wipe off the seats (and the backs, too--they're yucky with peanut), take a cover for the seat, dose DS up, he wears long sleeves--and we know we'll have to move a few times. But we tend to pick nosebleed seats for those occasions so we have more freedom.
At Target I probably wouldn't say something. But if the cashier in my line were snacking on peanuts, you better bet I'd move to another line, and I'd say why. They need to be aware of these things, and folks aren't going to think of it on their own.

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 12:49pm
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Quote:Originally posted by McCobbre:
But can't be the [i][b]single most[/i][/b] respulsive thing. I can think of lots more. Like smacking bubble gum is [i]much, much worse.[/i]
no, [i]cracking[/i] gum is. It's just so [i]deliberate[/i].
Anywhoo. People aught learn that if it's moist, and entering or leaving a body cavity, it should be done in [i]private[/i], or at least not audible. don't get me started on people who snap their fingernails.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 28, 2006).]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 11:27pm
McCobbre's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] no, [i]cracking[/i] gum is. It's just so [i]deliberate[/i].
Anywhoo. People aught learn that if it's moist, and entering or leaving a body cavity, it should be done in [i]private[/i], or at least not audible. don't get me started on people who snap their fingernails.
[/b]
Ew, ew, ew. Yes. And people who [i]clip their fingernails[/i] in public. That's horrendous. When I hear that little [i]clip[/i] sound, I almost throw up. I knew someone who did it in (yes) meetings (wasn't in one I called). The limits are too far out there indeed.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited October 29, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 1:16am
MommaBear's picture
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You know, McCobbre, I think I'd find [i]lunch[/i] with you too appealing, and I'd overlook the ice chewing, if you wouldn't mind the fact I drag the fork over my front teeth when taking a bite.

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 8:48am
McCobbre's picture
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OMG. You've got me pegged, and you knew exactly what would make me scream.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Who needs to pick on people for eating peanuts in public when there are so many choices on the menu distasteful behaviors?

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 6:40am
CatSchmidt's picture
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I would speak up ONLY if it directly affected my DD's safety in any way and/or if I was unable to move from their vicinity (such as with the train ride).
While I think there are lots of behaviors I find revolting and innappropriate in public - I don't feel responsible (or warranted) in changing a complete strangers actions because I don't like them. Especially a person that I'm going to walk away from in just a moment.
My responsibility is to my daughter and as strongly as I feel about her safety and food allergies in general - I don't feel it gives me the right to correct someone who is enjoying what is a safe snack for themselves. Even if they are eating it in a place I find innappropriate.
Just my two cents.

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 8:54am
gvmom's picture
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[b]if you wouldn't mind the fact I drag the fork over my front teeth when taking a bite. [/b]
That made me cringe just reading it.

Posted on: Mon, 11/27/2006 - 12:22pm
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I'm so happy to read your comments. I've often wondered what I'd do and one day at a college football game where we had taken our kids, a couple of people behind us opened a bag and started eating shelled peanuts. We noticed right away and as the panic built up inside me about what to do and keeping his jacket and our things away from the potential exposure, my son couldn't take his eyes off them. He nudged me and said "mom look" with his face turning red from what I think was also rising panic. The people noticed him and asked us; we explained and they, very understanding and politely put it away until the end of the game. We continued discussion and they were very happy to be more aware, while we were relieved they were so understanding. I learned from my son that day that we can't be afraid of what people think -- no matter what, we need to protect our pa kids!

Posted on: Wed, 11/29/2006 - 11:57pm
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In the original situation, at Target (oe whatever store), I wouldnt have said a darn thing and just kept moving.
In a supermarket? Ditto.
At a baseball game? Maybe moved.
On the street, walking? C'mon... I'd either move sides, or speed up/slow down.
People can eat whatever they want, generally, wherever they want.
Jason
------------------
[b]* Obsessed * [/b]

Posted on: Thu, 11/30/2006 - 3:14am
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But we can't stop people from doing things that are not dangerous to THEM. Before my kids had PA, I had never heard of it. NEVER HEARD. I have the usual pollen allergies and am sensitive to melons and cherries. I'm an educated and sensitive person. But I had no idea that people can be so severely allergic to peanuts -- that it could kill them.
So of course people are going to go around carelessly eating peanuts in public places. Because it NEVER OCCURS TO THEM that their tasty snack is someone else's fatal poison.
If the situation warrants it, I move my kids away from the offender. On something closed up, like an airplane flight, I politely explain about the allergy to someone who may be sitting very close to my girls. Other than that, I just avoid talking to people about it.
The reason I avoid talking about it is that I tend to get really angry and defensive. And depending on my mood, I can be VERY confrontational. This usually puts me in a really bad mood which I have trouble getting out of (I blame pre-menopause hormones for that, LOL). So I try to remain calm and not mess up my day by having confrontations. If my kids' safety is in danger, of course I step in and take action.
There aren't enough people in the world with PA for this to become a hyper-aware situation for other people. This isn't AIDS. THEIR lives are not in danger, so it isn't an issue for them.
We are fighting both ignorance and insensitivity.
I don't have to tell you guys....when you talk to someone, you hope that they will be sensitive and understanding once you inform them about the severity of the situation.
I guess my problem is....if the person were a jerk and didn't comply with my request, I would start getting really verbally abusive with them. I know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I guess after dealing with this for 13 years, I have very little patience regarding this subject.
------------------
Two daughters, ages 10 and 13 who are allergic to peanuts, soy, all legumes, most tree nuts, and a few antibiotics.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 3:22am
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krc
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Today at library storytime, a mom and her barely 12mos old child sat down at the same round table as me. She opened a pack of skittles and a pack of peanuts and poured them on the table for this small child to snack on. Aside from the choking factor (which he did do btw, spitting peanuts out all over the floor), I really wanted to ask her to please put them away. There are signs posted on all the doors stating no food or drink. Thank goodness my PA dd was not with us but she (or some other PA child) could have very well sat at this table once they left unknowingly.
Storytime ended and she left w/o me saying a word. I wiped the table down w/ Lysol wipes and went about my business. I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 4:12am
ajas_folks's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by krc:
[b] I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something. [/b]
[b] [i] Disclaimer: This message is 100% my personal opinion. [/b] [/i]
You can't say anything *now* to this parent.
BUT you CAN say something (in writing) to the library about NOT allowing food of any kind to be eaten, for all the obvious reasons: health, cleanliness, allergy awareness, library liability, etc.
Food has no place in a library. Period.
But we already knew I'd feel this way! (Reference previous commentary . . . ) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth
------------------
~Eli[b]Z[/b]abeth,
Mother to 2:
DD age 5, NKA, treated as though PA/TNA
DS age 8, PA, possible TNA
(PA diagnosed & ana reaction 1999)
Member here since 2000

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 4:56am
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i agree with elizabeth 100%. this is the perfect opportunity to speak with the staff at the library and remind them why it's important to enforce this rule.
i've been in your shoes before and said nothing because i was uncomfortable. this was years ago. now that i've been dealing with PA so many years (over 10), i usually just say what i have to say (politely of course) OR i give my girl instructions to get up and move or leave in a loud enough tone that the person(s) involved can hear what i'm saying and understand why we are having to move. more often than not, people apologize profusely and are extremely nice about it. i find it's good to educate people when i can and getting up without saying anything wouldn't serve that purpose.
most people aren't doing it because they are inconsiderate but because they simply don't know. you'll find the occasional jerk who doesn't care at all, even after finding out your child has a serious problem with the food they're dragging into an area clearly marked with "no food/no drinks" signs but i can't remember the last time i ran into someone like that.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 6:13am
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Elizabeth -
You left ______ too soon. New south end library facility was our very last haven - things got worse for M over time, and we were really limited on "safe" places. We found it a fun somewhere-other-than-our-house place for meeting friends...until...the vending machines arrived - shortly after the snack bar failed.
I did (with the help of others from the allergy group, which met there) get them to yank most of the peanutty stuff (which was initially probably twelve out of fifteen products or some such ratio) for a time, which was something. But still...*why*???
Apparently, to "draw" the teen crowd, and/or to feed the hungry ones whose parents used it for free after-school care.
My favorite part of the exchange (fwiw, I had a pretty friendly relationship with the desk folks - I was in two or three times a week) was the bit about "Well, we can't keep people from eating in the library, so..."
Hmm. Anyone else remember knowing when and where to use your "library voice"???
Sue

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 6:29am
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Quote:Originally posted by joeybeth:
[b]i agree with elizabeth 100%. this is the perfect opportunity to speak with the staff at the library and remind them why it's important to enforce this rule.
i've been in your shoes before and said nothing because i was uncomfortable. this was years ago. now that i've been dealing with PA so many years (over 10), i usually just say what i have to say (politely of course) OR i give my girl instructions to get up and move or leave in a loud enough tone that the person(s) involved can hear what i'm saying and understand why we are having to move. more often than not, people apologize profusely and are extremely nice about it. i find it's good to educate people when i can and getting up without saying anything wouldn't serve that purpose.
most people aren't doing it because they are inconsiderate but because they simply don't know. you'll find the occasional jerk who doesn't care at all, even after finding out your child has a serious problem with the food they're dragging into an area clearly marked with "no food/no drinks" signs but i can't remember the last time i ran into someone like that.[/b]
I also agree with Elizabeth and will be writing a letter.
I'm really kicking myself for not saying something. I feel like I missed the most perfect and justified time to try to educate someone on PA and remind people and the library another reason why the rules need to be enforced.
Joeybeth- Yes, I usually respond just as you do. I have been dealing w/ this for over 8 years now. If my pa dd would have been with me, we would have moved immediately and I would have explained to the woman why we were moving and asked her to please put it away. PA dd was not w/ me and I took the nice and easy approach.
Ugh...

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 10:22am
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If it might have a negative effect on my DD either now or later , you bet.
I always look for those teachable moments too.
Recently, a fellow teacher with a peanut butter cracker in hand appoached me as I stood in the doorway to my room. She called out her request for help with the sound system as she got closer. I didn't miss a beat with my response that I would help as soon as she got rid of that cracker. When she got to my door she read the sign that said " this is a peanut & tree free classroom" and apologized. I think that she learned alot about leaving residue along the way and she vowed not to do it again.
It was the same shape as the 1 pb cracker that introduced us to the world of PA and gave us our 1st ER visit. What a flashback!
I teach music at my DD's school and I'm always ready & willing to educate the educators. It's a tough job sometimes.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 11:00am
Kathy L.'s picture
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Joined: 07/30/1999 - 09:00

I once said something to a dad that was a chaperone on my dd's summer camp trip to a county fair. They have roasted peanuts there, which is why I always went with her. We were getting ready to board the bus, and we were all waiting in a big group. He had a big bag, so I asked him not to eat them on the bus and politely explained why. I think he was put off, but he walked away from us and finished the bag before getting on the bus. Normally, I'd never confront people, but when it comes to my child, I have to speak up.
When my dd was very little, and we were new at this, I might not have said anything to library mom. But now, I definitely would have.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 12:29pm
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Quote:Originally posted by M'smom:
[b]Elizabeth -
You left ______ too soon.
Sue [/b]
Sue--are you in Texas? I live near Houston.
(Sorry for interrupting, everyone.)

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 1:27pm
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Joined: 02/06/2007 - 09:00

Before I know as much as I do now, we took DD to a couple of minor-league baseball games last summer. She was at an age where she mostly just sat on our laps. We have no indication that she would have an airborne reaction, or even contact, considering we had lots of peanuts/pb in our home before we knew she was allergic, just never fed her any. Anyway. . .
The people a couple of seats over from us did open a bag of peanuts (we were in a back row, so had nothing coming at us from behind at least) and just asked them to be careful about the shells and not flick them in our direction. It kind of makes me sick to think about it now. We've already talked to my in-laws about not taking her again until she's older, when she can help avoid for herself or when we have a better idea of how sensitive she is.
krc - which library were you at? We do storytime here all the time and that is really frightening. I don't worry about people who've eaten may contains around us, but peanuts right on the table, yikes!
------------------
Mom to Harper
11/17/04 PA

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