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Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 1:16am
MommaBear's picture
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You know, McCobbre, I think I'd find [i]lunch[/i] with you too appealing, and I'd overlook the ice chewing, if you wouldn't mind the fact I drag the fork over my front teeth when taking a bite.

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 8:48am
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OMG. You've got me pegged, and you knew exactly what would make me scream.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Who needs to pick on people for eating peanuts in public when there are so many choices on the menu distasteful behaviors?

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 6:40am
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I would speak up ONLY if it directly affected my DD's safety in any way and/or if I was unable to move from their vicinity (such as with the train ride).
While I think there are lots of behaviors I find revolting and innappropriate in public - I don't feel responsible (or warranted) in changing a complete strangers actions because I don't like them. Especially a person that I'm going to walk away from in just a moment.
My responsibility is to my daughter and as strongly as I feel about her safety and food allergies in general - I don't feel it gives me the right to correct someone who is enjoying what is a safe snack for themselves. Even if they are eating it in a place I find innappropriate.
Just my two cents.

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 8:54am
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[b]if you wouldn't mind the fact I drag the fork over my front teeth when taking a bite. [/b]
That made me cringe just reading it.

Posted on: Mon, 11/27/2006 - 12:22pm
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I'm so happy to read your comments. I've often wondered what I'd do and one day at a college football game where we had taken our kids, a couple of people behind us opened a bag and started eating shelled peanuts. We noticed right away and as the panic built up inside me about what to do and keeping his jacket and our things away from the potential exposure, my son couldn't take his eyes off them. He nudged me and said "mom look" with his face turning red from what I think was also rising panic. The people noticed him and asked us; we explained and they, very understanding and politely put it away until the end of the game. We continued discussion and they were very happy to be more aware, while we were relieved they were so understanding. I learned from my son that day that we can't be afraid of what people think -- no matter what, we need to protect our pa kids!

Posted on: Wed, 11/29/2006 - 11:57pm
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In the original situation, at Target (oe whatever store), I wouldnt have said a darn thing and just kept moving.
In a supermarket? Ditto.
At a baseball game? Maybe moved.
On the street, walking? C'mon... I'd either move sides, or speed up/slow down.
People can eat whatever they want, generally, wherever they want.
Jason
------------------
[b]* Obsessed * [/b]

Posted on: Thu, 11/30/2006 - 3:14am
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But we can't stop people from doing things that are not dangerous to THEM. Before my kids had PA, I had never heard of it. NEVER HEARD. I have the usual pollen allergies and am sensitive to melons and cherries. I'm an educated and sensitive person. But I had no idea that people can be so severely allergic to peanuts -- that it could kill them.
So of course people are going to go around carelessly eating peanuts in public places. Because it NEVER OCCURS TO THEM that their tasty snack is someone else's fatal poison.
If the situation warrants it, I move my kids away from the offender. On something closed up, like an airplane flight, I politely explain about the allergy to someone who may be sitting very close to my girls. Other than that, I just avoid talking to people about it.
The reason I avoid talking about it is that I tend to get really angry and defensive. And depending on my mood, I can be VERY confrontational. This usually puts me in a really bad mood which I have trouble getting out of (I blame pre-menopause hormones for that, LOL). So I try to remain calm and not mess up my day by having confrontations. If my kids' safety is in danger, of course I step in and take action.
There aren't enough people in the world with PA for this to become a hyper-aware situation for other people. This isn't AIDS. THEIR lives are not in danger, so it isn't an issue for them.
We are fighting both ignorance and insensitivity.
I don't have to tell you guys....when you talk to someone, you hope that they will be sensitive and understanding once you inform them about the severity of the situation.
I guess my problem is....if the person were a jerk and didn't comply with my request, I would start getting really verbally abusive with them. I know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I guess after dealing with this for 13 years, I have very little patience regarding this subject.
------------------
Two daughters, ages 10 and 13 who are allergic to peanuts, soy, all legumes, most tree nuts, and a few antibiotics.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 3:22am
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Today at library storytime, a mom and her barely 12mos old child sat down at the same round table as me. She opened a pack of skittles and a pack of peanuts and poured them on the table for this small child to snack on. Aside from the choking factor (which he did do btw, spitting peanuts out all over the floor), I really wanted to ask her to please put them away. There are signs posted on all the doors stating no food or drink. Thank goodness my PA dd was not with us but she (or some other PA child) could have very well sat at this table once they left unknowingly.
Storytime ended and she left w/o me saying a word. I wiped the table down w/ Lysol wipes and went about my business. I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 4:12am
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Quote:Originally posted by krc:
[b] I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something. [/b]
[b] [i] Disclaimer: This message is 100% my personal opinion. [/b] [/i]
You can't say anything *now* to this parent.
BUT you CAN say something (in writing) to the library about NOT allowing food of any kind to be eaten, for all the obvious reasons: health, cleanliness, allergy awareness, library liability, etc.
Food has no place in a library. Period.
But we already knew I'd feel this way! (Reference previous commentary . . . ) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth
------------------
~Eli[b]Z[/b]abeth,
Mother to 2:
DD age 5, NKA, treated as though PA/TNA
DS age 8, PA, possible TNA
(PA diagnosed & ana reaction 1999)
Member here since 2000

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 4:56am
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i agree with elizabeth 100%. this is the perfect opportunity to speak with the staff at the library and remind them why it's important to enforce this rule.
i've been in your shoes before and said nothing because i was uncomfortable. this was years ago. now that i've been dealing with PA so many years (over 10), i usually just say what i have to say (politely of course) OR i give my girl instructions to get up and move or leave in a loud enough tone that the person(s) involved can hear what i'm saying and understand why we are having to move. more often than not, people apologize profusely and are extremely nice about it. i find it's good to educate people when i can and getting up without saying anything wouldn't serve that purpose.
most people aren't doing it because they are inconsiderate but because they simply don't know. you'll find the occasional jerk who doesn't care at all, even after finding out your child has a serious problem with the food they're dragging into an area clearly marked with "no food/no drinks" signs but i can't remember the last time i ran into someone like that.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 6:13am
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Elizabeth -
You left ______ too soon. New south end library facility was our very last haven - things got worse for M over time, and we were really limited on "safe" places. We found it a fun somewhere-other-than-our-house place for meeting friends...until...the vending machines arrived - shortly after the snack bar failed.
I did (with the help of others from the allergy group, which met there) get them to yank most of the peanutty stuff (which was initially probably twelve out of fifteen products or some such ratio) for a time, which was something. But still...*why*???
Apparently, to "draw" the teen crowd, and/or to feed the hungry ones whose parents used it for free after-school care.
My favorite part of the exchange (fwiw, I had a pretty friendly relationship with the desk folks - I was in two or three times a week) was the bit about "Well, we can't keep people from eating in the library, so..."
Hmm. Anyone else remember knowing when and where to use your "library voice"???
Sue

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 6:29am
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Quote:Originally posted by joeybeth:
[b]i agree with elizabeth 100%. this is the perfect opportunity to speak with the staff at the library and remind them why it's important to enforce this rule.
i've been in your shoes before and said nothing because i was uncomfortable. this was years ago. now that i've been dealing with PA so many years (over 10), i usually just say what i have to say (politely of course) OR i give my girl instructions to get up and move or leave in a loud enough tone that the person(s) involved can hear what i'm saying and understand why we are having to move. more often than not, people apologize profusely and are extremely nice about it. i find it's good to educate people when i can and getting up without saying anything wouldn't serve that purpose.
most people aren't doing it because they are inconsiderate but because they simply don't know. you'll find the occasional jerk who doesn't care at all, even after finding out your child has a serious problem with the food they're dragging into an area clearly marked with "no food/no drinks" signs but i can't remember the last time i ran into someone like that.[/b]
I also agree with Elizabeth and will be writing a letter.
I'm really kicking myself for not saying something. I feel like I missed the most perfect and justified time to try to educate someone on PA and remind people and the library another reason why the rules need to be enforced.
Joeybeth- Yes, I usually respond just as you do. I have been dealing w/ this for over 8 years now. If my pa dd would have been with me, we would have moved immediately and I would have explained to the woman why we were moving and asked her to please put it away. PA dd was not w/ me and I took the nice and easy approach.
Ugh...

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 10:22am
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If it might have a negative effect on my DD either now or later , you bet.
I always look for those teachable moments too.
Recently, a fellow teacher with a peanut butter cracker in hand appoached me as I stood in the doorway to my room. She called out her request for help with the sound system as she got closer. I didn't miss a beat with my response that I would help as soon as she got rid of that cracker. When she got to my door she read the sign that said " this is a peanut & tree free classroom" and apologized. I think that she learned alot about leaving residue along the way and she vowed not to do it again.
It was the same shape as the 1 pb cracker that introduced us to the world of PA and gave us our 1st ER visit. What a flashback!
I teach music at my DD's school and I'm always ready & willing to educate the educators. It's a tough job sometimes.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 11:00am
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I once said something to a dad that was a chaperone on my dd's summer camp trip to a county fair. They have roasted peanuts there, which is why I always went with her. We were getting ready to board the bus, and we were all waiting in a big group. He had a big bag, so I asked him not to eat them on the bus and politely explained why. I think he was put off, but he walked away from us and finished the bag before getting on the bus. Normally, I'd never confront people, but when it comes to my child, I have to speak up.
When my dd was very little, and we were new at this, I might not have said anything to library mom. But now, I definitely would have.

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 12:29pm
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Quote:Originally posted by M'smom:
[b]Elizabeth -
You left ______ too soon.
Sue [/b]
Sue--are you in Texas? I live near Houston.
(Sorry for interrupting, everyone.)

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 1:27pm
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Before I know as much as I do now, we took DD to a couple of minor-league baseball games last summer. She was at an age where she mostly just sat on our laps. We have no indication that she would have an airborne reaction, or even contact, considering we had lots of peanuts/pb in our home before we knew she was allergic, just never fed her any. Anyway. . .
The people a couple of seats over from us did open a bag of peanuts (we were in a back row, so had nothing coming at us from behind at least) and just asked them to be careful about the shells and not flick them in our direction. It kind of makes me sick to think about it now. We've already talked to my in-laws about not taking her again until she's older, when she can help avoid for herself or when we have a better idea of how sensitive she is.
krc - which library were you at? We do storytime here all the time and that is really frightening. I don't worry about people who've eaten may contains around us, but peanuts right on the table, yikes!
------------------
Mom to Harper
11/17/04 PA

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 2:06pm
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McCobbre -
Years ago, we lived in Fort Worth - just long enough for M to be a Texan. Does that count??
It would be fun if we were all a bit closer - I'd love to have coffee/lunch with both of you! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Sue

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 3:15am
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Quote:Originally posted by M'smom:
[b]
It would be fun if we were all a bit closer - I'd love to have coffee/lunch with both of you! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[/b]
DITTO! But unfortunately we'll have to settle for a cyber lunch due to our 3-way-split time zones these days . . . [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Sue, I cannot believe that there are vending machines in the library.
What ever happened to keeping the TREASURE of the library (THE BOOKS) clean and protected??
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 3:35am
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joeybeth, I also handle this issue in a similiar way. However, IMO only, I see my dd's pa like I would see any person with a wheelchair (child/adult). I believe that in an equal society there should be no one that cannot access a public place or event without fear for their life. My first attempt is to tactfully explain my dd's situation, when this fails I simply raise my voice loud enough to ensure all ears can hear me explain to my dd that some people are just too ignorant that they can't save their peanuts until later, so I guess their snack means more than her life. This has never failed ever.

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 3:43am
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I'm gonna veer off this topic, but I just needed to post this . . .
And I know these days of freedom are virtually gone for most kids, but . . .
Once upon a time (age 12) I would ride my bike 2 1/2 miles to a certain downtown magnificent-piece-of-architectural-design library . . . best friend & I would go about 10:00 AM. Read-read-read. At noon-thirty we would ride our bikes over to the Woolworth to enjoy our nutritious pre-teen-lunch of french fries and cherry-topped cheesecake. [Cost us $1.02, plus "tip". She bought the fries, I bought the cheesecake & we shared.] Then we would leave our bikes parked at Woolworths & we would walk down to Harrahs to ride the elevator. We rode up & down a couple of times standing on our feet. We always attempted a couple more rides while doing hand stands. Sometimes we would also walk a few blocks over to visit her dad who had offices in downtown "skyscraper". Then we would ride our bikes back over to library to read-read-read. We would check out, on average, maybe 10 books each. Stuff those into backpacks. About 4:00 we'd ride bikes home.
We never had ANY need to eat or drink in the library. If we were thirsty, there were drinking fountains.
The library was pristine. We would occasionally get shushed (once) in "library voice" by librarian or an adult patron if we got too giggly. We shushed.
We would not have even CONSIDERED bringing food into the library. The books were hallowed. The library was revered.
We saved our horseplay for the Harrah's elevator. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth
Edited because I really CAN spell, I just CANNOT type accurately.
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited February 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 04/24/2007 - 2:17pm
fuzzyfurball's picture
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This same exact thought occurred to me recently. DH brought home a jar of PB (he takes it to work and eats it there and thoroughly washes up after he eats) and he asked me to put it somewhere. I was totally paranoid and sorta grabbed it barely by the edges and he laughed at me, but I said I had visions of some kid eating some other jar of PB or peanuts and getting residue all over it. He for the most part gets the allergy, but I just think I am a little goofy about this!

Posted on: Wed, 04/25/2007 - 12:37am
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I recently faced a dilema. I was traveling for business with a collegue. She has kids about the same age as mine and we chat about them, so she knows a bit about what I've gone through with PA.
Our flight was delayed an hour and a half - we were stuck on the tarmac. There was no food service - not even soda - because the flight was under an hour (59 min). What with baggage and rental car lines, we weren't on the road until 8:30, and still had an hour drive ahead of us. I had eaten at 5:00 at the airport, but she hadn't eaten since lunch.
As we put out of the airport, she pulls a giant bag of trail mix from her purse. Before she opens it, she checks to make sure that I'm not allergic - and I'm not - and starts munching.
And all I could think about was what if a PA person rented this car next? She's driving, so peanut residue is getting all over the steering wheel and other controls. I thought about saying something, and offering to stop for food, but we had an early morning appointment. She would have put it away if I said something, but would have been (probably justifiably) resentful, which would have strained our working relationship.
And they she would have eaten the trail mix in her hotel room anyway.
Of course, this must happen all the time, and I don't think about it, because then I'd go crazy. er.. .crazier.

Posted on: Thu, 07/05/2007 - 3:54am
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I do not have a life-threatning nut allergy, but I was researching at this board because I have had slight reactions to walnuts, pecans, and almonds. (I avoid them for the most part...) Just wanted to post about a good experience I had concerning eating peanuts in public.
Full disclosure: I love peanuts. Love 'em. Ever since I was a child, I have been in love with peanut butter. After I got diagnosed with Type I diabetes at age 18, I loved them even more because they were LOW CARB! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I eat them quite often at home, although not in public (there *are* some of us who think about others even if doesn't personally affect us).
Two weeks ago I was shopping at my local Macy's in the dress section when I started to feel terrible. I was having a hypoglycemic reaction. For those of you who aren't familiar with diabetes, this means I must have something with carbohydate *pronto* or I'll be reduced to a seizing mess on the floor. The only thing I had with me at the time was a 6 pack of Lance pb crackers. I ripped those puppies open and started chomping away (probably grossing out some of the previous posters in this thread, if they had seen me...) Walking across the store to the exit to eat in a "designated eating area" or whatever would be out of the question, as moving around with a low blood sugar only makes things worse.
When I was on my 4th cracker, a lady approached me and kindly asked if I could eat the crackers elsewhere and/or later, as her daughter was allergic to nuts (and she could smell the peanut from a few dress racks over). I was mortified! I explained why I was eating the crackers and she was similarly mortified, so there we stood profusely apologizing to each other. I actually laughed at that point and thanked her for being so nice about it, and she said that she and her daughter would just go to another part of the store for a little while until I'd had a chance to finish up what I was doing and be on my way. I promised not to touch any of the merch after I was done!
FWIW, I won't be packing pb crackers in my purse again as an emergency snack. Just thought I'd share cos as a person with (yet another) immediately life threatening illness, I truly appreciated her consideration and understanding. Sometimes there will be a person eating because they *have to*, not cos they want to - but that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a pb product. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] If it were me with a nut allergy, I'd approach the person as the lady I met did.

Posted on: Thu, 07/05/2007 - 4:28am
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I don't chew ice typically and would never drag the fork across my teeth...but I do roll my eyes a bit. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
BUT so far I twice said something to people eating peanuts in public. One was the cashier at Trader Joes who was scanning my order (IDIOT) and the other was a girl checking us into a 4 year old's birthday party. (DUH) I also contacted the "management" at both of these places once I got home.
At the zoo - (first week of diagnosis) I showed ds that children (seemmingly every child we saw that day) were running around eating pb sandwiches (no jelly?) and I took the opportunity to tell him that he had to be careful not to touch surfaces, etc. But I really wanted to approach those parents and scream at them.
Before PA everytime my mom visited us she would comment that we are all feeding our kids all the time. Snack, snack, snack. For me it was just a hold over from infantcy and toddlerhood....but lately we have been pulling back with the constant grazing. DS is thin as a rail. I used to be also..waaaaaaaa.

Posted on: Thu, 07/05/2007 - 6:28am
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En Publica.
I don't want to live in a world where people feel it's their job to nag others about activities of daily living. Make them feel like they are doing something wrong....Can you imagine? Polictical correctness on steroids.
If it's "wrong" to eat peanuts in public then it must be wrong to eat anything else in public. Aren't there enough rules already?

Posted on: Thu, 07/05/2007 - 7:56am
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Hello and welcome, philote! Thanks for sharing your story. It made me smile. That's exactly the way things *should* be.
One thing in your post gave me pause, though:
[b]"I was researching at this board because I have had slight reactions to walnuts, pecans, and almonds. (I avoid them for the most part...)"[/b]
Many people on this board have experienced "slight" reactions to foods which suddenly evolved into "major" reactions. I hope that you have seen an allergist and talked about whether you need an epipen, just in case. Nut allergies can be unpredictable!

Posted on: Sun, 07/08/2007 - 2:24pm
stitcher's picture
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Not sure if this belongs here or elsewhere but I'll take a stab here and hope I don't offend anyone.
Sarahb said:
"At the zoo - (first week of diagnosis) I showed ds that children (seemmingly every child we saw that day) were running around eating pb sandwiches (no jelly?) and I took the opportunity to tell him that he had to be careful not to touch surfaces, etc. But I really wanted to approach those parents and scream at them. "
As a frequent Zoo goer I would love some suggestions for easily portable safe proteins. Meat just does not work well even in a cooler when we go open to close. But I'd hate to put someone at risk because my pocketbook won't cover two adults and 3 kids when I take my sister in law and her kids...She's unemployed so having her help with expenses is out. PB is easiest, but after spending so much time here over the last few months it's just not worth the risk.
Suggestions would be most welcome. ( or should I just start another thread?)

Posted on: Sun, 07/08/2007 - 3:43pm
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Stitcher are you the allergic one or your child?
There are threads here for safe snacks. Use the search function and you'll find lots of lists started by lots of us.
While my son was growing up it was my job to help him learn to keep safe and I never spent one minute thinking of what non allergic people could eat.
My energy was spent finding foods my son could safely eat and teaching him to be independent which he now is. So it's tough when people ask for suggestions. Thankfully there is that search function and like I said lots of lists already made.
Peggy

Posted on: Mon, 07/09/2007 - 1:36am
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Quote:Originally posted by Peg541:
[b]While my son was growing up it was my job to help him learn to keep safe and I never spent one minute thinking of what non allergic people could eat.
[/b]
I'm teaching mine not to crack their gum, munch on ice, clip their toenails, or [i]brush/comb their hair[/i] in public either. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
Who are these women who need to redo their ponytail in line ahead of me? They have to drag that brush through the whole mop flipping it all over my groceries. What I wouldn't have given for a pair of hedge trimmers at that moment. Snip Snip.
[i]JUST KIDDING.[/i] (about the hedge trimmers, not the ponytail)
Anywhoooo. Your cave is your castle. Anything else.....[i]a gift[/i].

Posted on: Mon, 07/09/2007 - 3:04am
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Stitcher....it would make me happy if people didn't let thier kids run around with sandwiches in thier hands and pb all over their faces and hands. That's what I was seeing.....3 and 4 year olds with half sandwiches running around and bouncing off the walls. Literally. It was a new PA moms nightmare. But I knew that this is life and I needed to be able to deal with it and let him have a good time.
If you ate pb just eat at a table or on a blanket and wipe hands and faces before running to smudge all over the exhibits!
Another thought is that I just saw these new hot/cold bags at the grocery store. I bought one but haven't tested it yet. It claims to keep frozen food frozen for 3 hours! Since we bring food everywhere I just usually prepreeze what we can...ie watermelon, strawberries, juice box, waterbottles and then add them to my insulated lunch box which has also been kept in the freezer. In my climate this has worked well even on hot days.
But seriously simple mannors and hygene would go a long way with me. BUT I would not bring pb/nuts/peanuts into a closed room/playroom type exhibit. Eat outside. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 07/09/2007 - 9:36am
stitcher's picture
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Peg _ neither. I am here trying to help a family at teh church I work at...they want to enroll the kid in our Sunday School and attend services with us...but have concerns. I am here because I want to help them feel more comfortable. Sorry to have upset you.

Posted on: Mon, 07/09/2007 - 3:04pm
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i doubt you upset peg. she doesn't seem the type to be that way. maybe her tone didn't come across to you as it was intended to. i've had that happen to me (that i've misunderstood what someone was saying to me) and i've had it happen where my words were taken in a way they weren't intended before also. like i said, i doubt that she meant to offend and i also doubt you offended or upset her in anyhow. that's just my take....
anyhow; how nice of you to be thinking of another family at church. that is very thoughtful and i'm sure they will appreciate your efforts so much.
having dealt with PA for quite some time now with two of my three children, it always touches me when someone takes the time to think of us and try to help.
also, philote, my husband is similarly mildly allergic to nuts like pecans and walnuts. his reactions are very different than my daughters' reactions to peanuts. i can't figure out why the difference. he does avoid pecans and walnuts but doesn't worry about the occasional accidental ingestion like the girls MUST with peanuts.
[This message has been edited by joeybeth (edited July 10, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 07/10/2007 - 4:17am
Peg541's picture
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Thank you Joeybeth and stitcher you did not upset me. I am sorry if I came across as rude. It is wonderful to have someone help a family. We have been on our own for so long until I found this place and now I get all the help I want....
Peg

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 10:56am
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This is the first time since I have been a member that I feel that some moms are using this as their own private soapbox. What a turn off. So the diabetic child should not be fed in public so that the PA child may not be cross-contaminated. The nutritionist may argue that healthy snacks all day are far better for digestion that 3 regimented meals. I come on this website to hopefully hear about ways that I, as a PA mom for 8 years can learn or find comfort regarding food allergies. What a turn off to hear your ideas on society....this is probably the only forum that is forces to listen. By the way, have any children had a lethal reaction after leaving Target?

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 1:57pm
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Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]A young (20ish) woman and her SO are walking through Target tonight, and she has popped open a jar of nuts and is munching away! She stopped in an aisle right next to my PA ds (3 years)....[/b]
As a microbiology lab tech, this bothered me WAY before the thought of allergies; what a great way for her to contaminate everything she touched with germs from her mouth! YUCK! [i]Loving the thought of bringing home food with slobber on the package.[/i]
And DOUBLE YUCK with allergies! Yes, it has always bothered me that kids can't be without food in their mouths for the 20-30 min that they might be in the store. Or with those PITA parents that don't have the guts to tell their kids, "NO!" when they beg for food in the store. Heaven forbid the little dears get angry! [i]Feed them in the car, like I do...hee hee hee.[/i]
And yes, another good reason to always have the Epi...even when you know you're not going to eat something. Good point!
Daisy

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 2:42pm
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krc
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I know- I see this in so many stores we shop. I have three kids in tow- and no- I don't stop to educate them. I still seem to have that mindset that nuts are going to be out in the world-- so I run away and I feel angry, but I usually don't say a word. I do want to....

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 3:37pm
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I DO! I would kick myself if I didn't say something. Had to one year, we were at the ballet-Nutcracker. I heard that all to familiar crackling of the peanutbutter cracker package being opened. I turned around and calmly asked her etc.... and explained etc... . She put them away, but it just ruins the whole experience of the event. KWIM? I get angry at myself if I don't say something, but I also am annoyed that I HAVE to say something. Especially if situations where food is not allowed--this gets me soooo mad. Just venting!
Oh, by the way, my sister and mom are more vocal than me. And, I am the one known to have the big mouth-ha ha !
------------------
Stacie - Mother to:
10 yr. PA
8 yr. TNA
2.5 yr. PA&TNA

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 3:51pm
Peg541's picture
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When my son was flying to Scotland we were waiting at Los Angeles for a flight. A woman across from us had a transparent bag of food and that included a large can of peanuts.
I went up to her and asked was she going on the same flight we were? I told her why. It turns out she was on her way to Hawaii.
I explained to her why I asked and she seemed very concerned. The lady next to her was rolling her eyes away at me.
So I got one but not the other.
Peg

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 11:02pm
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I missed the opportunity too and blasted myself later for NOT saying something.
I was at the Delta ticket counter in Charleston, S.C. The ticket agent that was checking me in, had a little pile of shelled peanuts that he was shelling and eating, while working.
I was in SHOCK!
I realized later that the reason I didn't speak up was because of the eye-rolling Peg mentions. I swear that the NEXT time, I will speak up.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 12:15am
Lindajo's picture
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I speak up. Especially if that person is in close proximity of my DD. If I can move away and not say anything, I will. We were at the Big Apple Circus once and someone started eating peanuts next to my DH. My DD was 4 seats away from them. I asked them if they would mind not eating them and told them about my DD and PA. They said "Oh, sorry". But we felt uncomfortable and looked around for other seats anyway.
I also did that when we were about to board the plane last year to CA. There was a mom with 2 kids and she had a can of peanuts with her to take on the plane. I politely asked her where she was sitting to make sure it wasn't near us and she was very nice about it and said she wouldn't eat them on that flight.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:22am
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the eyerolling...one of my least favorite aspects of other peoples' reactions to our PA needs.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:42am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Most of the time, I just move away. I don't bother saying anything because so often I fear that I will come across as either hysterical or hostile... (gee, imagine that, huh?)
But two instances stand out in my mind. One I am sure that I seemed quite hysterical, as I was fighting down rising panic. It was in a local health food store, where I HAD to go to purchase specialty flours in bulk. Yes, had to-- we had not one other choice at that time... Anyway, this woman was there with a toddler, and she had just filled up a big ole tub of grind it yourself PB... and was about to hand it and a spoon over to her kid...
I asked her if she could wait for "Just five minutes... Please. (begging) I just need to get flour for my daughter...." I don't think she really "got it" but she complied anyway. I think I shocked her and she thought it was possible that I was pretty disturbed. Whatever.
The second instance involves the Disneyland railroad. We got on at the main street station (this is Anaheim) and there were VERY few seats. The people right behind us took out their PB+J and DD started to turn funny colors. So DH and I proceeded to have a conversation (glancing furtively over our shoulders periodically) about what we could do. We couldn't get off the train, as it was in motion, but there was nowhere to move to, either. They finally asked and when we explained, they very politely put them away. I was absolutely floored. We did move as soon as we were able, but thanked them again before we did so.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:06am
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I've never approached someone eating peanuts in public and asked them to stop - I think the only reason I would do this would be if it directly impacted my DS at that very moment (ie if the person was going to touch him immediately for some reason - doctor, dentist or something akin to that). As for general consumption in our vicinity - if I felt it was dangerous, I would move.
I don't find myself blameless in the eating in public department either - I often do my grocery shopping while slurping on a latte and making use of the cup holder so conveniently attached to the cart (many grocery chains have a Second Cup of a Starbucks inside now...) - a nightmare for those dealing with a milk allergy for sure...

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 3:20am
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I do say something (imagine that [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] ), especially if the location is not a place where normally civilized people eat:
TARGET! the reason for garbage cans outside front doors is for people to throw away food & beverages PRIOR to entering store. You are NOT supposed to open & eat foods prior to purchasing. Whatever happened to NOT eating in stores??
THEATRES (other than movie)! The ballet or symphony or other seated-theatre experience is NOT a place for food. Intermission in the lobby is place for snack, if offered for sale.
We are rapidly becoming a nation of obese, food-smeared slobs. Any wonder when we cannot seem to go even an hour without some sort of non-nutritional doo-doo shoved into our orifices. . .
but I digress.
I DID say that I say something, didn't I?
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 3:54am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
We are rapidly becoming a nation of obese, food-smeared slobs.
BRA-VO!!!! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
It has occurred to me that this may also explain why I have great difficulty finding clothing that fits my SLENDER seven year old. Who is obviously eating much more daintily than most of her compadres. The only differences that I can see?
A. She doesn't gorge on junkfood more than once a month. At most. More like four times a year.
B. She eats regular meals-- not this constant "grazing" that nutritionists claim is so great.
I also would add (respectfully, since I know other people feel differently) that I NEVER eat or drink in places where it is obviously not appropriate. This includes stores. If I wouldn't appreciate someone feeding their 2 yo a pb smeared bagel there, it isn't someplace I need to be eating or drinking anything otehr than water either. What goes around comes around.
And truthfully, managing a milk allergic toddler is insanely difficult (even by our standards [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ) without ME making it harder. Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... [i]I should know better.[/i]
It may only be one person less, but hey-- aren't we the ones who are always saying that every little bit helps? Reduce the risk, right? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 6:45am
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Joined: 10/03/2004 - 09:00

I admit to high annoyance that in our culture you can't go anywhere without seeing someone stuffing his or her face. Usually - several someones. Often talking and eating with the mouths open. Ick.
I read once about a culture that is made of people who are embarrassed to eat around others - it is considered a private activity, done with your head turned away on your own time, so as not to gross out your comrades.
I can't help but long for that sometimes.(!) People eat in their cars, at every possible venue, even Church (that one always shocks me - junior eating away during Mass) - all day long, day in, day out.
I agree with the food smeared slob comment. It's just grotesque and constant. I am a conservative Republican captalist and love our successes as a country - but the sight of fat junk-foody Americans stuffing and stuffing themselves as a hobby, way, way beyond bodily need, so that the excess is stored in rolls on their bodies - while other people starve elsewhere - just really bothers me.
AND this is before we even get down to the extra issue to my PA child - peanuts and nuts all over everything, too.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 6:45am
3xy1PAinNH's picture
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Joined: 08/07/2006 - 09:00

Thanks for all the input. I think this will just depend on my mood and the danger involved in the situation in the future.
Honestly, as a mom of three children, two under 4....I allow my boys to sometimes eat pretzels or goldfish in the stores...and even sometimes the free cheese from teh Deli (another MA mom's nightmare, I am sure). Expecting two young children to sit 20-30 minutes in a store with no distraction is not reasonable...unless you have well behaved passive daughters (which I don't, note my usename!). Toys only work a few minutes...then they are thrown on the floor in a never ending game of 'pick-up!" It isn't about saying NO to my children...I do that enough in the store (No, you may NOT have that cereal/candy/etc). But as for adults...I would hope most of the time they don't need to eat in a store!
I also don't buy into the argument about there should be no food anywhere, anytime...last statistic I saw was that 1 in 6 children is obese. THE REST ARE NOT! In my son's school of 250 elementary children, I can only think of a handful that are obviously overweight. IMO it is all about balance. I dont' want to give my kids junk food or processed food ALL THE TIME...but it is okay to have. For me it is just as much about exercise as food consumption.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 8:39am
patsmommy's picture
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Joined: 10/31/2001 - 09:00

I am shamed. With the DD in one of the local supermarkets i have to admit once in awhile I do get a cup of coffe to drink while shopping. Don't I feel like a hypocrite. Shamed seriously. Mostly these days I shop online, it saves me a ton of money. I stick to the brands I know so no impulse buys. I just go pick it up at the store for $10 .
But getting back to the orginal question I probably would have walked away from her and not said anything. the only time I do say something is if we are actaully sitting next to someone like others have said at an event. I am most worried about movie theaters to be honest. I try to scan what people are eating in front of us and in back of us.
I think next time I go food shopping i will get my coffee on the way out.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 9:45am
shoshana18's picture
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Joined: 02/02/2005 - 09:00

haven't had time to read through the entire thread, but the short answer is NO! i can't even imagine approaching a stranger and telling them that what they are eating is inappropriate! IMHO, that takes a lot of nerve..

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:43am
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Adele:
[b]I missed the opportunity too and blasted myself later for NOT saying something.
I was at the Delta ticket counter in Charleston, S.C. The ticket agent that was checking me in, had a little pile of shelled peanuts that he was shelling and eating, while working.
I was in SHOCK!
I realized later that the reason I didn't speak up was because of the eye-rolling Peg mentions. I swear that the NEXT time, I will speak up. [/b]
Good for you Adele. I have a good friend who rolls her eyes if I mention PA in reference to my son. She is a nurse. I can't fathom her problem but roll away.
Peg

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