Has having a child with PA made you a *better* parent? Person?Has it brought you....

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 2:00am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

......closer to your children. All of your children? Has it brought your children closer together. Are you more "in tune" to the needs of others? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 3:00am
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Anonymous (not verified)

Hard to say since I found out Jesse was PA when he was 18 months old and my style of parenting with him didn't really change.
You know what? Rather than go into babble speak, I'm going to say no. I believe I would have been the same parent with both children regardless. I believe I would have stuck up for my children at school regardless, when necessary. I believe I also already had compassion and caring in place for others and that didn't come from needing it because I had a PA child.
PA has, however, changed the things I think about on a daily basis, of course, and the things I do on the computer.
PA has changed what I focus on, what I advocate for, etc. My political activism (although PA can certainly be seen as *political*) has taken a backseat so that I can focus on dealing with PA as difficulties in my life arise with it and also hoping helping others here as well. My political activism has become PA advocacy/activism and just simply dealing with PA. So not much of a stretch in changing me personally either really.
But, no, I'm going to have to say no. Jesse has always been my bean, Ember has always been my dolly and I don't think PA has changed that.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------
[This message has been edited by Cindy Spowart Cook (edited February 24, 2003).]

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 4:34am
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

This is a happy thing to consider... I read it as a sort of what "silver linings" are there with PA.
I think it has definitely made me a more compassionate person. I think it has helped me become a more assertive person. And I think I have gained some clarity and perspective re what things I think are the most important to me. Yes, I have grown in these areas because of my DD having PA.
(My PA DD is my first child, so it's hard for me to think of parenting without PA.)
And I think PA is useful in learning about other people. For example, if someone is willing to make the extra effort to accommodate my dd, then I know that they are the kind of person who I think I would like as a friend. It provides a sort of litmus test for character, in a way. Know what I mean?
Gail

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 6:43am
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

it has made me more aware of other kids' needs; whether it's that they have a health issue or need clothing, whatever. i think i was always concerned about all the kids at school but i'm especially interested in helping the ones that i'm able to do something for now. having to depend on the thoughtfulness of others has had the effect of making me want to try to be more thoughtful. before i had pa children, i think i would have been open to giving up peanut products for someone elses' child (though it never came up). i hope i would have been. at any rate, i know i am more understanding of other peoples' situations now. as for raising my own kids, it probably hasn't changed that much for me because i am the world's biggest worrier anyhow. i was already a very protective parent and aware of my kids' surroundings all the time, even before pa came along. it has just been one more thing for me to think about all the time. haha. joey

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 10:15am
Sandra Y's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2000 - 09:00

NO.
It has definitely not done anything positive for us. It is just a big pain in the ass.

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 1:10pm
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Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

No,I don't think it has made me a better parent to my own children. However, like another poster mentioned, I do think it has made me much more aware of other children's needs (making sure everyone is included, etc).
Kelly

Posted on: Mon, 02/24/2003 - 1:27pm
darthcleo's picture
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Joined: 11/08/2000 - 09:00

Well, we eat better... :-D
I have a degree in industrial engineering. Basically everything you need to know to run a factory. However, the food industry has its special needs, and it wasn't covered (chemical engineering covers that). So learning about PA and avoiding peanuts has given me a crash course in the food industry. And now, we eat much better! Just good old homemade food, baked from scratch.
The only other area where it's made us better parents, is that we no longer use food treats to celebrate every single little thing on a daily basis. We've moved away from food as a positive reinforcement tool.

Posted on: Wed, 02/26/2003 - 12:31am
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

reraising. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 02/26/2003 - 12:35am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

kcmom posted something wonderful in the
"If you had a "magic wand", would you trade your child's PA for....................... "
thread in the Living With PA forum, that compliments this thread beautifully.

Posted on: Wed, 02/26/2003 - 1:36am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Amen! Love the connections! Thank you!

Posted on: Wed, 02/26/2003 - 5:54am
SpudBerry's picture
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Joined: 07/23/2002 - 09:00

This is a good one to thing about....
I'm not sure if it has made me a 'better' parent, but I'm certainly different. I speak up more now. I used to be more of a shrinking violet, but now, I just say what needs to be said in order to keep my children safe. I think some of that would have come to me whether my boys were PA or not, but I know it's here now.
I also use it as a litmus test for other people. If they can't be bothered to make sure that my child is safe, then I don't need to be bothered with them. And I don't mean the occasional - forgetting to read the entire label people, I mean the people that think I'm over-reacting and just a little bit of that peanut butter cookie wouldn't REALLY hurt him would it?
And I do bake more now. I think I'd have been a good baking SAHM anyway, but now I include all of our breads, etc., so that I know Michael will be safe. I enjoy it, and it's easier for me to throw a loaf of bread in the machine every few days than it is to worry about the different bakeries.
I am more cautious about things since the PA. Michael has never been left at anyone's home since we've known about his allergy. Once again, I would have been pretty cautious about leaving my children with people anyway - but I'm even more so now. And I do a better job at checking out baby sitters and I ask better questions with this special need to deal with, than I would have without the PA.
Those are the things that come to my mind at least!
Sherlyn

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