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Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 9:55am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

I think we all want to use the Ghandi approach, but when that doesn't work, time and time again, well. . .
Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]DH calls me "Yoda."[/b]
I've been told that I've been referred to as "the Velvet Hammer" by the staff. Once even in a staff meeting. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 10:34am
luvmyboys's picture
Joined: 05/25/2006 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by BASP:
[b] If we're all going to be forced to change what we do we should be able to determine if it's a legitimate need or just an issue with the mother. [/b]
Sorry to repeat this again...It's not up for public vote. It is your school administration's job to determine the necessary accomodations. Not yours.
If my child starts speech therapy and that is using up precious resources are we going to have to release his records so we can have a public hearing on the matter? Your school has a 504 committee. If you have concerns you can go ahead and bring it up with them, but really I don't think it is any of your business at a public school.
And honestly, those who claim to have PA and criticize those who truly need extensive accomodations do more to endanger our kids with PA than anyone else in my humble opinion.
I'll let you know what my school does in greater detail since that's what you asked...DS is in kindergarten. He wears an epi. Two more are kept in the nurse's office. The class is pnut and treenut free. Food is kept at a minimum (no snack, just 3 parties a year that I will help coordinate and will have to attend). All children are asked to wash hands before leaving for school but again wash upon entering the classroom. His class has specials early in the day to minimize chance of contamination of these other classrooms. His room and special rooms are not to be used for after school activities. I will attend ALL field trips. The gym teacher and playground monitor have cb's or cell phones. The nurse trains any subs before they enter his classroom for the day and ALL staff is epipen trained. Next year he will have a peanut free end of the table for lunch, probably near the exit. We will have to decide if we are comfortable with 'may contains' near him or if he needs a 'buffer'. That's all I can think of right now...
Is my son airborne sensitive? I believe so but do I know for absolute sure in the sense that he would have a visible and serious rxn? No because I'm not about to test out the theory. Do I believe he's contact sensitive? At this time I believe he gets a tingling sensation or something that tells him something is wrong. He might get some hives. Do I know for sure? No. It's hard to distinguish between contact and ingestion at 3 yrs old. He is not one of the kids who gets unexplained hives from residue every week. Then again he's on 2 tsp claritin and singulair which could be suppressing these smaller rxn's. This is just what my experience would indicate with a little boy who can't always tell me exactly what's wrong and how he knows. And I don't feel the need to explain to you each little incident that has led me to these conclusions but I can tell you that I have been quite forthcoming with this information when it comes to his school nurse and teacher and principal, all of whom stand behind us 100%.

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 2:39pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

First of all to CORVALIS MOM, I have always had a problem with a large group of people being forced to conform to certain rules and regulations to satisfy a few. It's just the way I am.
Isn't that how we ALL live? Everyday conforming to rules and regulations set by a group of people. ie: I don't think smoking is allowed in schools either, and I am over 18 years old and tobacco IS legal. Or, t-shirts that have words are NOT allowed in our middle school. etc....There are always going to be conforming issues in life. Adults are the ones who are suppose to understand this, and then help their children to learn emphathy for others. We are talking about life and death with this FA issue--life and possible death. Not if someone is offended by a t-shirt that says sh@t! or anything else that some would find offensive. I am a VERY liberal person, I love my kids to express themselves in any way (safe way) they want. I also have friends that tease me and say that in live in Staciearchy-don't like others telling me what to do. But, I am no longer a teenager and have a GREAT responsibility to teach my children how to stay safe, and to have understanding and emphathy for others---without them questioning if that person's situation is REAL or not. That is not the point of an emphathic person.
Stacie - Mother to:
10 yr. PA
8 yr. TNA
2.5 yr. PA&TNA

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 2:42pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Ok, my last reply was meant to have that 1st paragraph to be a quote. I guess I did it wrong. Sorry. I wasn't addressing anything personally to Corvallis Mom-that was the quote from above.
Stacie - Mother to:
10 yr. PA
8 yr. TNA
2.5 yr. PA&TNA

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 2:55pm
krc's picture
Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

i would do anything for my school to be so accomadating and excited to send my 4 yrold Pa child there without argument. most of us go through so much to even remotely secure our own childs safety-why is this an issue?
On another note- out of curiosity, why do so many people respond to BASP? I'm new on this board but if BASP seems so adamant on this issue do you really think you can change her mind?(of course she did ask for opinions) on the other hand it is hard for me to believe that anyone with a PA child wouldn't love that these safety measures are being met. I would do anything to ensure my dd's safety.

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 4:32pm
April in KC's picture
Joined: 08/28/2006 - 09:00

BASP, earlier you said something about having cake walks when we were kids, and it not being a big deal. I know what you mean, and this is the type of observation I hear all the time. When my child was diagnosed with peanut allergy, no one explained to me that it's an allergy that is on the rise. The number of kids with peanut allergies doubled over a five-year-period in the late 1990s, and it has increased even more since that study was done. My child's allergist, the chief allergist at a large children's hospital, explained that this is a TRUE increase in allergy, not a perceived one. The blood tests back it up. The studies are confirming what schools and parents are saying, which is, where the H*** is this allergy coming from? It didn't used to be this bad, and now I have anaphylactic kids in my school. BASP, did anyone in your family have a peanut allergy before your child? If I had to guess, I'd guess no. No one in my family or my husband's family had one, either. Instead, there was a limited family history of "atopic" symptoms like asthma in two of my uncles, a penicillin allergy in me, my husband's childhood allergies (all outgrown, and none anaphylactic). The same child who would have been born "just atopic" a generation ago is frequently being born peanut-allergic today, and they really don't know why yet. And the numbers are still climbing. And yes, your daughter's allergic responses can get worse over time. I hope for her sake and yours that they don't. All the trace exposures she gets, the ones you don't see that may cause her eczema to flare up (if she has eczema) can be raising her RAST level, raising her potential to have an anaphylactic reaction the next time.
I think you're really here to read and get educated. Please read my posting under the introductions forum where I tell the story of my preschooler's first anaphylactic reaction. Nate was your daughter. He knew what to eat and what not to. He asked his (peanut-allergy educated) teacher to read the label on the candy, and she lied to him and told him she had checked, and the candy was safe. 99 days out of 100, maybe she was great about checking. Maybe that day she was just a little overwhelmed. She had eaten the candy and it seemed safe to her, so she told my son that she had read the label. My point is, when your daughter goes out in the world away from you, and she is under the influence of trusted and admired teachers who tell her she's safe and then act a little disapproving if she is too obsessive, will it be possible for her to be influenced? Please think about it...maybe you can avoid some of the mistakes I made. If I could do it over again, everywhere Nate went (school, church, etc.), he would eat only snacks from home. That way, no one else would have to wonder...and no one would feel as sh*** as his poor teacher did when she called us later that night.
This year, Nate brings everything. And the school has still opted for a peanut-free menu to reduce the risk of residue, etc. I'm so happy and thankful. And I know what my own ignorance was just a year or two ago, and I wait at every school meeting for the other shoe to drop, for the other parents to get mad. So far, every parent has been great. I have come home and cried (in gratitude) three times now. One mom whose son loves PB&J even ordered Sunbutter right away so her son could sit at the peanut-free table with my son. And apparently, he likes it!
My son, on the other hand, is still a nervous wreck from almost dying last year. He's going through a phase right now where he won't eat very much of anything...just a few foods he trusts. Believe me, the only thing that would ever turn a kid back from a pile of candy or junk food is the fear of intense pain or death, and that's precisely what my son has....after just one anaphylactic reaction. I really hope your daughter is one of the lucky 20% to outgrow her reaction. But just in case she's going to be one of the 80% who don't, please stick around, find a good allergist who will teach you about the severity, the progression, etc....and hug her tight every morning you have to leave her in someone else's care.
Thanks for sticking around to read the responses. Even if it gets a little hairy, I believe most folks are here to learn and help each other. It gets hard for the parents of PA kids. There are studies that show that it takes an emotional toll. Maybe that's partly responsible for any attitude you're seeing in the parents at your school.
Best of luck in your own personal journey with your daughter.

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 9:09pm
mommyofmatt's picture
Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

April in KC,
Thanks for your story in introductions. My ds is in preschool now...your story really hit me. I'm so sorry he had that experience and is still feeling the after-effects of it.
I'm going to link your post here.
BASP, there are many of us who struggle with denial of severity at times, or not wanting our child to be different or singled out. Perhaps these "militant" parents were scaring you...wondering if your daughter could someday need these precautions?
I agree with what most of the others have posted so there's no point in repeating it all.
But, I'll tell you this. Here's the situation at my ds' preschool. You see, he's milk, egg, and peanut allergic. The class is only there for snack, and it is a milk, egg, and peanut free classroom. Students and parents wash their hands upon entering the classroom. The snack consists of crackers and juice every day.
The school provides the snack after I've approved the labels. At least this eliminates other parents being hassled with safe snack lists and reading labels...Birthday celebrations are food free. They do have holiday parties with only food that is safe for my son.
I'm thankful that 90% of these precautions were already in place when we found the school. The policy was created when another little boy with a peanut allergy had to transfer preschools because he received the epipen THREE TIMES in one year at his previous school!!!!!!
I don't know if I would have had the courage to ask for all these precautions because I HATE, I mean hate imposing on other people!! I probably would have ended up keeping my son home from school if I didn't find this school because this setup would be what I felt was necessary to keep my son safe. Another parent paved the way for me, and I couldn't be more thankful. Just giving you our story since I believe that's what you asked.
I'm not going to detail my son's reactions or history to you either...I find your request for medical records pretty outrageous.
Despite your anger at the militants, I really hope you can give them some benefit of the doubt and realize you don't know all the details of their child's medical history. We all could potentially(in our heads here) question others posts sometimes, not thinking we'd do this or that. But only the parent, child, and school administration can make these decisions.
I wish you and your daughter the best in dealing with her allergy and schools, and other parents. Meg

Posted on: Wed, 08/30/2006 - 10:16pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

BASP, I am glad to hear you are not a troll, and do hope you'll stay. I can't speak for others, but there are two reasons why that crossed my mind.
First is that you just joined us. One of the marks of a troll is that it's their first or second post.
The other is that the "my kids are inconvienced at school by not getting to eat as much PB as they want" theme is pretty popular among trolls here.
So now that that is all cleared up, welcome!

Posted on: Thu, 08/31/2006 - 12:48am
bethc's picture
Joined: 04/18/2005 - 09:00

Oh, we have the hand-washing requirement in the peanut-free classrooms, too, I forgot to mention. I think it's one of the most important things, since kids come into school shortly after eating a meal at home. I should find out if they'll all be washing their hands after school lunch this year. I know my DS's classes with allergic kids in them haven't done that, because he's made a special stop in the bathroom to wash his hands when he's had peanut butter in the hot lunch. It's a good idea for reducing germ-sharing anyway, so I think it's a necessary allergy precaution that benefits everyone.

Posted on: Thu, 08/31/2006 - 2:22am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by BASP:
[b] The few of you who stated that you feel I'm being neglectful and endangering my own daughter based on a few lines on a posting board are just plain idiots. That's beyond insulating to state something like that based on what little information you have. [/b]
BASP, I need to ask you something that's been bothering me. . .
Is it equally "beyond insulting" for you to question if a mother is "going too far" based on the little information [i]you [/i]have about [i]her [/i]children?
I mean, are you willing to post all your 4 year-olds medical information here, publically, for us to review and so that we can weigh in if you are "not going far enough"?
How is questioning going "too far" be any more or less insulting than questioning one "not going far enough"? It's insulting either way. . . do you see that?
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited August 31, 2006).]


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