Getting a Grip.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:46am
MommaBear's picture
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continued from this thread:

[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/002634.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/002634.html[/url]

recent email (cc by sender to various persons who have *some* or daily contact with my child [i]further on down the chain of command[/i]) I received:

******************************************

> "Dear Mrs. (WATCH THE NAILS, WOMAN!),
>
> To my knowledge, no one, including myself, has done any type of "unilateral re-
> negotiation of <> IEP" as you claim. I was told a couple of days ago
> that you are requesting an IEP meeting. If you have already done so, I'm sure
> the invitation will be sent out accordingly to the appropriate team members.
> Please be assured that we do have <> (as well ALL students) "best
> interests at heart" and will continue to do so.
>
> Sincerely,

Mr. (OH, THAT HURTS!)"

****************************************

my reply:

"Dear Mr. <<>>,

I will try to put this as gently as I can, and be brief:

An attempt by you to unilaterally re-negotiate <> IEP, is exactly how I interpret a considerable amount of your message in ALL-CAPS. I interpret it as your offer. <> IEP needs to be adhered to as it is currently written. It's not optional. His IEP is not up for negotiation. (However, you can attend future meetings and participate as a Team Member.)

It is a protected document. There are Procedural Safeguards in place to ensure that.

Forwarding of subject matter that might be construed as an attempt to leave open the possibility that following <> IEP as it is currently written is optional, in a correspondence to other staff who are not directly above you in the chain of command, and attempting such discussion outside the confines of an IEP meeting, not only sends the wrong message to those whom you supervise, but possibly might also violate Procedural Safeguards.

It was a painstaking process through which <> is now sometimes able to safely attend school considering his combined health and educational needs. It took years. Possibly it was just undone.

I will be addressing the possible misinterpretation of your ALL-CAPS correspondence by those whom you supervise and whose compliance directly affects <> ability to attend safely with the appropriate persons.

Sadly,

Mrs. <>"

***************************************

No advice intended.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:54am
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Did the principal forward his/your previous correspondence (the one with ALL-CAPS) in his cc?

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:55am
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Did the principal forward his/your previous correspondence (the one with ALL-CAPS) in his cc?[/b]
sure did.
I forwarded most recent to the superintendent.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:58am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]
sure did.
[/b]
<> unbelievable. jaw hanging. . . .
Making sure I understand: [i]he forwarded your e-mail ~in which he responded in ALL-CAPS~ to his staff?[/i] Not a blind copy, but an open "cc"? Why would he do that?
Wondering how he'll explain: [i]" I DO NOT SEE WHY THIS COULD NOT BE AN ACCEPTABLE OPTION? "[/i] Sure seems like he's renegotiating to me . . .
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:21am
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Or that "asthma is not a problem???"
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
I guess breathing is now "optional" as well?
And who says the popcorn club isn't happening this year? I'm feeling the need for some already. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (This is easy for me to say, obviously, as I'm not exchanging e-mails with these turkeys.)
PS-- REALLY, REALLY enjoying your e-mails. Maybe you could offer some grammatical, er- 'suggestions' to this person, as well. Just in the interest of being helpful. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:39am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Or that "asthma is not a problem???" [/b]
Exactly. He doesn't realize the connection . . .
But it shouldn't matter if he does or doesn't. The fact is that it is ALREADY ADDRESSED IN THE IEP. What a moron.
You are right to go after him MB. You gave him an opportunity to correct himself instead and he chose to dig his grave deeper. Why am I sorta feeling sorry for him? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]REALLY, REALLY enjoying your e-mails. [/b]
Me too. This is the best reading I've had in a long time. Better than a mystery novel. Helps me by honing my skills. Kinda reminds me of Paper Chase, or DH's morning rounds with his students. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'm learning a lot following along.
Thanks for taking the time to post it all and keeping the updates coming.
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:59am
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] Making sure I understand: [i]he forwarded your e-mail ~in which he responded in ALL-CAPS~ to his staff?[/i] Not a blind copy, but an open "cc"? Why would he do that?[/b]
Okay. I'm slow. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] I think I get it now.
[i]He must not have realized that HE was the one who had attempted to 'renegotiate'. [/i]He didn't understand what he had done. He copied it [i]down [/i]because he mistakenly thought MB was accusing another staff person of this.
<> This is [i]rich[/i].

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 5:37am
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wowee!

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:47am
Gail W's picture
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[i]wringing my hands and compulsively clicking the refresh button. . . [/i]
What happened, MB?

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:55am
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] Exactly. He doesn't realize the connection . . .
[/b]
Maybe the 48 inch "Athletic Fit" chest is a barrier.... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:57am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]
PS-- REALLY, REALLY enjoying your e-mails. Maybe you could offer some grammatical, er- 'suggestions' to this person, as well. Just in the interest of being helpful. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img][/b]
aw....I shouldn't nitpick. It's not like mine are perfect either. I'm figuring it will go largly un-noticed. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] (saving my efforts for another issue)
which, by the way, that meeting. I've got some emails and phone calls to make. Will try to update with a few additions later. (sinister laugh)

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:59am
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relieved to hear your 'sinister' laugh
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
you had the meeting?
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 11:21pm
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This was the reply to my last email (posted) on Friday.
********************************************
[i]Dear Mrs. (you are getting sleepy, very sleepy....Maybe if you hear it long enough you will believe it),
Thank you for your input. Again, I will reiterate, I feel that (Middle School Name) is and
will always be a safe environment for all students. No one has questioned
adhering to (son's) IEP. In fact, I have been researching options on my own
(as has the district), in the event a school nurse is not in the building, to
locate and retain a "sub nurse" for our school. As I stated in my original
response to your e-mail, I only used ALL-CAPS to respond to the various
sections of the lengthy message. It should not be interpreted as anything but
differentiating between your message and my response (and much easier to read
and reply to the various statements/questions).
On a few occasions this year various team members have had mixed messages
when communicating with you. They have felt one person is getting one part of
a message and other people are getting different pieces of information. My
efforts are to keep the line of communication open with all team members so
messages do not become crossed or mixed. I do appreciate your hard work and
effort you have put into (son's) health and educational needs. I would have
to wholeheartedly disagree that anything has been "undone." As stated
numerous times, we do have (son's) best interest at hand. Part of that is
providing (son) the opportunity to receive his education and socialize
accordingly with his peers. (Son) can do this at (Middle School Name). Thank you for your
time.
Sincerely,
Mr. (Back-peddling and tossing flash bangs with every step)"[/i]
*****************************************
It is Monday and I'm still trying to put my response in a "G rated" format.
But I think it should begin with: [i]"Was it painful when they removed your spine?"[/i]
The only "mixed message" I've sent is not suing this district [i]years ago[/i]
.
Excuse me, but isn't [i]October[/i] a little late in planning for the nurse's absence??
Oh, and communication. Returning phone calls is a good place to start.
I can't believe this guy is *still* maintaining he didn't attempt to renegotiate/undermine the IEP....
When I have my jaws clenched in a throat hold it really p***** me off when they struggle. Call it a reflex.
~MommaBear aka: [i]wolverine[/i]
Not sure if I want to send the email before or [i]after[/i] my meeting with the district super today.
Oh, and this time he only cc'd the persons I was cc'ing. His [i]supervisors[/i].
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 30, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 11:26pm
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[
Wondering how he'll explain: [i]" I DO NOT SEE WHY THIS COULD NOT BE AN ACCEPTABLE OPTION? "[/i] Sure seems like he's renegotiating to me . . .
[/B][/quote]
and I will be pointing this out to the district super. Amazing he put it in writing, isn't it? It's almost as if I would be shirking my societal obligation if [i]I didn't sue[/i] the curly q's off my district.

Posted on: Sun, 10/29/2006 - 11:50pm
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I've been [i]explicit[/i] in my [b]messages[/b] to the "staff".
Explicit.
I will be posting the OHI portion of his IEP later.....
Which reminds me. Communication. I am going to make it clear to him that it is [i]unacceptable[/i] for him to sit down next to me in the [b]front office[/b] and begin a discussion about my child's IEP. It is a violation of FERPA whether I allow it or not. His obligation to maintain my privacy is the same. It is inappropriate, unprofessional, and [i]impedes communication[/i]. It stifles the conversation. Agreed?
It is a tactic used to [i]limit[/i] the discussion. Holding such conversations in a high traffic area creates a [i]disparity[/i].
Remind me to cover that with the superintendent...

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 12:04am
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It seems to me that there is an attitude, a mentality ( n my school system anyway) that as long as they are making 'progress' (e.g. "annual yearly progress') that they are 'covered'. They are fulfilling their obligation.
That's sorta the vibe I'm getting from this guy. . . that it's okay not to follow every letter of cub's IEP because they're making 'progress' toward being in full compliance. KWIM?

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 12:16am
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]It seems to me that there is an attitude, a mentality ( n my school system anyway) that as long as they are making 'progress' (e.g. "annual yearly progress') that they are 'covered'. They are fulfilling their obligation.
That's sorta the vibe I'm getting from this guy. . . that it's okay not to follow every letter of cub's IEP because they're making 'progress' toward being in full compliance. KWIM? [/b]
Personally Gail? [i]I'm not giving him that much credit.[/i]
But good point. Is there a difference between a 504 and an IEP in that regard? I mean, I don't think so, but if it were, at least an IEP has the requirement to [i]monitor[/i] progress and ensure it is occurring, yes?
AYP is measured in goals, right? The way I see it, the points in my child's OHI portion of his IEP *are* the AYP. There is no "inbetween". Am I making sense? If they don't maintain the [i]Standard[/i], they are failing to make "AYP". Tell me if you see it differently.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 12:41am
Gail W's picture
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It's the influence of NCLB. It's my opinion that it has permeated into their approach in other areas where it is not appropriate. (No, BTW, this does not apply to 504 either.)
They are playing a game whereby they'll claim you have waived your rights. . . By 'choosing' to voluntarily withhold your child from school. How will you address this slimy ploy?
I'm thinking you might want to have in your hand a letter to deliver to the Super when you meet with him. ([i]Him[/i], right?) A very succinct letter stating that 1.) you are evoking your parental right under IDEA (you can state it verbatim from the form they've given to you) to be informed of *all* your and your child's rights. And 2.) that in your genuine effort to sincerely and consistently communicate with all staff, that you *never* will waive your or your child's rights under FERPA or IDEA. And 3.) that if the X school district believes that you have in any manner 'opted' to waive your or your child's rights, that you must be informed of this because it is and never will be your intention to waive any right.
Sorta forcing them to create an 'informed consent' mechanism.
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 30, 2006).]

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 12:52am
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Exactly. Not only does it apply here
Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
I am going to make it clear to him that it is [i]unacceptable[/i] for him to sit down next to me in the front office and begin a discussion about my child's IEP. [b] It is a violation of FERPA whether I allow it or not. [/b] His obligation to maintain my privacy is the same. It is inappropriate, unprofessional, and [i]impedes communication[/i].
but in each and every of your rights. Yes?

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 4:13am
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Warning: semi-snarky commentary to follow.
As to the perceived over-complexity of your messages &/or "mixed messages" as principal termed them:
I might consider using [i] numbered bullets [/i] format for any written correspondence as an attempt to ease school personnels' reading and comprehension burden.
[i] They can count, can't they?! [/i]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Elizabeth
(Need to stop taking cold meds now.)

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:56am
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I think that isn't a bad idea, actually... I often have to go back over written correspondance and edit it down to the "Cliff's Notes" version. Especially to accommodate administrators who seem distressed with more.... erudite missives.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[i] Wonder if he feels like a sheep whose desperate bleating isn't going to prevent him from being sheared? You can tell him it really won't hurt, but really-- he's a sheep. baaaaa-aa.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 6:12am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] [i] Wonder if he feels like a sheep whose desperate bleating isn't going to prevent him from being sheared? You can tell him it really won't hurt, but really-- he's a sheep. baaaaa-aa.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img][/b]
a sheep with an "athletic fit", but a sheep none-the-less. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
Principal school must have offered a sports scholarship. . .

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 6:13am
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Exactly. Not only does it apply here
but in each and every of your rights. Yes?
[/b]
[i]with certainty.[/i]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 2:59am
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[i]I never did reply to that last email I received. But I did find the opportunity to address several key points in this one:[/i]
********************************************
Dear (new co-case manager),
Subsequent to our conversations yesterday during the halloween party (other co-case manager present) and after school, I am emailing you as promised during our last conversation. As you are our new co-case manager, along with (other co-case manager), in the absence of (previous case manager), I find you on the receiving end of this correspondence. I understand you find yourself as being his new case manager. I did appreciate our conversation yesterday, which at one point included (my oldest son). It is my intention to keep that line of communication open. It is welcomed. It is important to understand that as (son's) parent and advocate, I find it necessary to communicate my concerns as follows.
Firstly, I am responding to the "Student Council Candy Sale". From the list provided to you gave me (first presented to me as of 10/31 and regarding a candy sale taking place in the cafeteria 11/1 during lunch) and as I informed you, I cannot determine the specific safety of items without reading the labels, which I requested during our first conversation and which I have not received. I think it would be near impossible for you, at that point, to obtain them in a timely manner. Yes, some of the items appear to be things that (son) has had before, but I read labels every time and am in the process of teaching (son), an child with autism/aspergers and who is learning disabled to do the same thing. At this point, I do not expect or rely on him to do it for himself. I don't think a parent of a "typical" child would either.
Between last night and this morning, and on a holiday, I haven't been given enough time to contact manufacturers in order to give you a more accurate reply regarding the labeling and or safety of the products in relation to (son's) allergy, which is airborne and contact sensitive to trace amounts. Please refer to his physician's letter regarding his food allergies and asthma. It is on file with the district. We have seen a specialist at (Major Chicago Children's Hospital), (physician specialist name), and confirmed his level of sensitivity. She also felt all indications pointed to this being a lifelong allergy. Much of the management we have requested be implemented at the school will be essentially lifelong interventions regardless of his age, maturity, or grade level.
Due to his level of sensitivity, items that he cannot eat *do* pose a risk to him. It's why I have requested the school request of the school community to refrain, to the best of their ability, from sending in products containing peanuts, nuts, or lentils. Supposedly, he's supposed to sit with his peers. He has communicated to me he sits with his aide and not next to his peers. They are farther down the table.
I'm supposing this is a form of quiet, deliberate, segregation on behalf of the school. I could be wrong.
Either way, it has been brought to my attention numerous times over the years, by the school district, and during IEP meetings, the negative impact lack of socialization has on children with aspergers. It's why, we made the difficult decision to allow him to socialize in the manner his peers do, and during lunch. It's why, in part, why we asked for the accommodations we did in his IEP. It's why they are necessary. Or at least, in part.
His IEP prohibits segregation from his peers, activities, lessons, school events, field trips, etc.....It outlines accommodations to make these activities accessible to him while not violating any "rights" of other students. I'm acutely aware of what "rights" actually exist. Or do not.
The "right" to a Free Appropriate Education in the Least Restrictive Environment is actually a right reserved for Special Education Students. Before I had an IEP for my child, the school district took the liberty to segregate him due to his food allergy, to the hall, alone, and unmonitored without my express consent.
I found it appalling. Food allergies aside, I couldn't fathom a school district allowing a child to eat lunch alone. Especially a first grader. Choking aside, add into the mix a child who has the documented potential for anaphylaxis from a food allergy, and I knew what I was dealing with. This is what they felt appropriate and their "right" to do.
IDEA prohibits segregation based on a disability. It's a premise our IEP was written upon.
As part of an attempt to reduce the risk to (son) during lunch, we requested that I be allowed input as described in (son's) IEP (copy on file with the district) in order to make the lunchroom as safe as possible for (son). To reduce the risk not only to him, but the school district itself.
In particular, one of the risks I speak of is food items provided under the auspices and sanctioning of the district. Including those provided en masse to the student body. As an example, a district attorney, several years back, agreed to the removal of peanut butter from the district wide Federal Brown Bag Lunch Program.
It was do-able.
There is a difference between a random act of God, and negligence, whether it be intentional or just out of ignorance.
I've acted in good faith (cataloged numerous communications, meetings, emails, etc...) in order that the portion of (son's) IEP regarding such foodstuffs, is effective in reducing this risk. I can't say the district has acted similarly. I think, yes, there is a lack of communication, and possibly some resistance. Sad, isn't it?
What's sadder is that (principal) has informed me that I'm perceived as "sending mixed messages" in relation to (son's) allergy by school staff. I believe you received a cc of this email . Currently, I haven't come across staff, besides (principal), who tells me this. I would hope, if they existed, a supervisor would attempt to clarify such issues (mixed messages) immediately in order to avoid any confusion that might be surrounding a Life Threatening Food Allergy. It would involve contacting me regarding specific issues.
I find this accusation [i]ridiculous[/i]. Other than to say, if not having pursed drastic legal action related to the numerous direct violations of his plan now and other incidents through the years (I've been told it's a learning curve for the district) sends a "mixed message", then possibly, [i]I'm guilty[/i]. If acting in good faith is a "mixed message"------[b]Guilty[/b].
But it actually appears that there has been deliberate, premeditated, effort on the part of the Student Council to limit items on the "Student council Candy Sale" which would be a risk. I'm grateful. Even if it wasn't intended on (son's) behalf. [i]They have my gratitude and appreciation[/i]. It is an indicator for me to have hope.
Although I am not giving permission for (son) to buy anything other than (name of two candies), quite possibly they will never understand the significance for me or (son).
If your offer still stands, I would appreciate you introducing (son) today to a "lunch group". You'll need to adhere to the spirit of his IEP regarding food. If you find a need to segregate (son) to a separate table during this "lunch group" [i]then forget having him participate[/i]. It would be excessively obvious and counterproductive to such a group. It would be painfully apparent. It would send a "mixed message" to (son). It would send a "mixed message" to me. (son) finds his plate full in just dealing with the normal "mixed messages", so I'd rather not add to it. His plan is written in a way that you should be able to handle questionable (or outright obvious) food items by other students discretely and without segregating him or anyone else for that matter. Without violating his right to "The Least Restrictive Environment".
Call me if you have concerns related to today and the "candy sale". home: XXX-XXX-XXXX cell: XXX-XXX-XXXX He can purchase (name of two candies) that do not have warinings related to the presence of peanuts or treenuts or lentils. I'll send money. (Some of the items I have before found the labeling to periodically change and include "warnings" related to the presence of peanuts/nuts, and in particular, during the holiday seasons----possibly related to a change in manufacturing location or the use of shared equipment in order to accommodate increased production.)
But will someone tell me why, Good Lord, a "Candy Sale" was scheduled the day after Halloween?? (that was an attempt at humor).
Again, I'm actually humbled by the effort that appears to have went into the candy choices for the Student Council Candy Sale. (Although I'm pretty sure some items a seasoned veteran of peanut/nut allergies wouldn't find "safe".)
Which brings me to the SCO Treat Day, which you informed me would be on Friday 11/3 of this week. Some of the items list "peanut" oil and or nut products, as although yesterday you were unable to provide me with ingredient lists for the Student Council Candy Sale, you were able to provide the ingredient lists for the "SCO Treat Day".
But yes, this does present a problem. The school district failing to adhere to his IEP and limit items containing peanut oil, peanuts, and treenuts, in items they sanction within the school environment, greatly increases the risk to (son) not only in the lunchroom, but in the entire school environment. In particular in this instance the items are also crumbly and meltable. It makes it impossible for (son) to attend school after the sale, use, and or consumption of those items begins tomorrow, and until their consumption is ceased and precautions to clean the area of them ensues. It violates his IEP. It violates Least Restrictive Environment. It segregates him based on a disability. I consider the district having been made aware----now and prior to today, in the language of (sons) IEP.
In other words, (son) will not be able to attend school after the sale and consuption begins, until Monday morning after a thorough cleaning. I can only hope that a portion of such residue on peers, staff, and clothing will [i]take care of itself[/i] over the weekend.
Make no mistake, I am not "choosing" to withhold his attendance during that portion of the school day, but rather the district is [b]choosing[/b] to do so, through their lack of compliance with a federal law and his IEP.
Even if I ignored (son's) right to the least restrictive environement, it's not as if I could place (son) in a "lunch group" and this would resolve the increased risk, the additional risk, the avoidable risk----to (son). It's not something I can simply ignore. It's not something the district can ignore. It is something we are both aware of. Something they have been aware of apparently longer than myself.
That said, I am interested in the "lunch group". In the manner I described previously in this correspondence, you have my permission to place him in one today, and only for today. It should be something one elects voluntarily and not as a last resort, or only option. It should not be a forced "choice", particularly when there is an IEP currently in effect that would (or should) prevent forced segregation, translating basically to a violation of Least Restrictive Environment and his IEP.
Yesterday was the earliest opportunity I was given to have "input" as agreed upon and outlined in the Other Health Impairment Portion of his IEP. Currently, I am merely being asked to approve something that violates my child's IEP.
Impossible. An in particular impossible, since it was preventable.
Administration and staff are, according to his IEP, supposed to facilitate and ensure timely communication in order that a violation of his IEP doesn't occur. Is the sale of these items inevitable?
Please send me a current cumulative list of hot lunch, treat days, and similiar events or fundraising activities scheduled to occur on school grounds or during events. Anything involving food. There seems to be more days being added on a continual ad lib basis. I at least aught be made aware of the potential days the school district will possibly prohibit my child from attending.
However, I am still maintaining I need to have input as outlined in (son's) IEP regarding such days, and in a timely manner, and facilitated through administration, in order to effectively ensure (son's) access to the educational environment. Currently, that is not the case. Being told what is going to be sold is entirely different than enabling (son) a Free Appropriate Public Education in the Least Restrictive Environment. It also violates his IEP.
To date, after my concerned request, I have been contacted once and only to "approve" a menu that had already been chosen for the first half of the school year. The menu had already been distributed and monies collected. Can I say I was not contact for input, but merely to give permission for a menu already chosen? I was asked by Mrs. (volunteer hot lunch co-ordinator),(regarding hot lunch days that would be unsafe), if I could [b]"just keep my child home"[/b] on those days. In regard to hot lunch days, I need to have an opportunity, facillitated by administration, to have input as outlined in (son's) IEP regarding the second half of the hot lunch menu----which is due to come out prior to January. I detailed these concerns in a previous email to (principal). His response to my requests have been dissapointing. Namely, suggesting he cannot require a meeting between him, myself, and the hot lunch coordinator in order to plan a menu for the second half. I guess then, he will have to meet with me alone, and then communicate with the hot lunch coordinator. Facillitate. As an authority of the school district.
I'd think such meetings would be a requirement of a volunteer position.
The school district needs to bear in mind that merely because someone is a "volunteer" under the auspices of the school district, and in school affairs, it doesn't mean they are exempt from adhering to the Mission Statement (posted on the foyer of the school building), school policy, or Federal Law, or suggest even through ignorance of the mission statement, school policy, or Federal law, etc...., a circumstance that does. They are representatives of the school in the truest sense of the word. It is assumed they support what the school must comply with. The volunteers represent the school district. Ultimately, the district is responsible for the actions of their volunteers.
But it wouldn't be the first time I've been told to segregate my child. (or the first time his IEP was violated) Another principal in the employ of the school district had once told me, in the context of (son's) needs: [i] "You should homeschool your child."[/i]
I did. For two years.
But I am no longer enabling that frame of mind. I am asking for accountability. In multiple areas, starting with (son's) IEP. I cannot effectively advocate for him unless I do.
(son's) IEP was, for the third year, and through no neglect on my part, formulated only two days prior to the start of the school year. [i](editors note post delivery: it was not finalized until weeks into the school year)[/i] I had through numerous communications and during the course of the previous school year, requested his IEP meeting for the 2006/2007 year be devised well in advance of the school year. Not shockingly, the pattern of attempting to devise the plan directly prior to the first day of school repeated itself. For the third year in a row.
I suggest and request that we now set aside a date in order to address the 2007/2008 school year. Consider it a formal request.
Regards,
Mrs. MommaBear
(As a side note, I am hoping the OT contacts me today, the Speech Therapist (Mrs. formal name), contacted me during the Halloween Party yesterday).
**************************************
General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Some people might even perceive me to be just BSOMA. Individual Mileage and Intestinal Constitution May Vary.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited November 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 3:10am
momma2boys's picture
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MommaBear, you left your sons name in the letter one time. I note you edited it elsewhere and thought you may want to get it out of there.

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 3:24am
MommaBear's picture
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thank you momma2boys....I previously thought I edited them all.

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 3:33am
Gail W's picture
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Bravo!
My personal favorite:
Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
Make no mistake, I am not "choosing" to withhold his attendance during that portion of the school day, but rather the district is [b]choosing[/b] to do so, through their lack of compliance with a federal law and his IEP.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
(Let me know if you want me to delete your quote.)

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 3:35am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]
(Let me know if you want me to delete your quote.)[/b]
[b]Let it stand.[/b]
It's the [i]truth[/i].

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 3:41am
Gail W's picture
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Another favorite:
Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]But I am no longer enabling that frame of mind. I am asking for accountability. In multiple areas, starting with (son's) IEP. I cannot effectively advocate for him unless I do.[/b]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 5:55am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
...I found it appalling. Food allergies aside...
Me too. Your post has tears in my eyes for your cub, Mommabear. It is crystal clear to me what leads you to each and every point you've made. Ugh. What utterly disgusting behavior-- compounded by a desire to "appear" to be 'fully compliant.' (airquotes)
I can't offer any advice-- just warm support. You don't need any reminding, I know.... but [i]it is definitely NOT YOU...it is definitely THEM.[/i]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 11/03/2006 - 1:39am
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MB, don't have time to read this thread and it's predecessor again and it's been a couple of days, but weren't you talking about requesting a private tutor if they could not resolve these issues at school? I was wondering how you get the school address the obvious need for social interaction as part of addressing an autistic child's educational needs? I imagine social skills are addressed in his IEP or 504...
Luvmyboys

Posted on: Fri, 11/03/2006 - 2:23am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by luvmyboys:
[b]MB, don't have time to read this thread and it's predecessor again and it's been a couple of days, but weren't you talking about requesting a private tutor if they could not resolve these issues at school? I was wondering how you get the school address the obvious need for social interaction as part of addressing an autistic child's educational needs? I imagine social skills are addressed in his IEP or 504...
Luvmyboys[/b]
he is currently been on a "homebound" option since this last Monday. The tutor *finally* came yesterday. She "worked" twenty minutes with him and came up to speak to me. She said: "They didn't prepare me for this----he needs more [i]engaging[/i] material. [i]Movement[/i] needs to be incorporated into his curriculum."
Good observation for a tutor assigned to him with no [i]special education[/i] background. She felt his intellligence, or a lack of it, was not an issue. To the contrary, she felt his intelligence was probably superior to the average first graders. Probably to some adults as well. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
I brought up the social issues at the previous meeting. (in relation to "homebound". I pointed out how the district flip flops on how they address their obligations depending on what is most convienient to them.
In other words, their [i]hypocrisy[/i].
In one instance, their first suggestion at a previous IEP meeting during which his teacher stormed out of the room [i]and left the meeting[/i](half day of school, only subjects like social studies and science and art with tutoring in reading and language after school) was because they felt he should be in school to "socialize".
Now.......after we address the issue of class size and a resistant teacher do they bring up "homebound" until we iron out the test results. This teacher "with an LD background" openly characterized my child as "having an attitude", "being disruptive", and "difficult". I won't even describe the eye rolling and hand guestures she treated me to. This "LD background" teacher is the one who thought [i]taking his recess away[/i] as punishment for not being able to complete classwork or follow directions as [i]appropriate[/i].
Previously, he *always* was described by school personel as being a "star pupil", "adorable", "engaging", "intelligent", etc.....
LOL! I mean, they always did when denying my requests for a [i]full case study[/i].
Turds.
But I digress. What has changed? His performance has steadily disintegrated since being introduced to her. I attribute it to [i]teacher failure[/i]. A poor match.
She makes me squirmy. I can't stand being in a room with her. I was glad she [i]left[/i]. I'm an empath and I could feel the bad mojo....
She started in with her scathing characterization after hearing a one to one aide would be utilized in her classroom. Probably made her nervous.
But hey, there is a silver lining in every thing, including a bad match. I just may find her *the key* to getting a unilateral placement.
So here I wait. No tutor. The eval [i]is still not complete[/i]. They are using their full sixty days.

Posted on: Fri, 11/03/2006 - 6:13am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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[b]"sixty days"[/b]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
Maybe "LD background" meant, ummmmm....a background in the torture of such children? maybe... well, no. I can't fathom what you describe. I mean, I can. I just can't reconcile it with what you were [i]told[/i].
At least your HB tutor seems like a more suitable [i]person[/i] in this regard.

Posted on: Wed, 11/22/2006 - 10:56am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] Me too. This is the best reading I've had in a long time. Better than a mystery novel. Helps me by honing my skills. Kinda reminds me of Paper Chase, or DH's morning rounds with his students. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'm learning a lot following along.
[/b]
[i]noting, Gail.[/i]

Posted on: Wed, 11/22/2006 - 10:59am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]What a moron.
You are right to go after him MB. You gave him an opportunity to correct himself instead and he chose to dig his grave deeper.
[/b]
Is this the "administration" you referred to in another post:
Quote:[b]I think it's in part because of the manner in which you interact with people. I think it would be helpful for you if someone else could represent you to your school district. . . an attorney, an advocate. [/b]
Quote:[b]And you're wondering why you're having a hard time working with your school administrators? [/b]
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/002680.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum7/HTML/002680.html[/url]

Posted on: Wed, 11/22/2006 - 11:02am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] Me too. Your post has tears in my eyes for your cub, Mommabear. It is crystal clear to me what leads you to each and every point you've made. Ugh. What utterly disgusting behavior-- compounded by a desire to "appear" to be 'fully compliant.' (airquotes)
I can't offer any advice-- just warm support. You don't need any reminding, I know.... but [i]it is definitely NOT YOU...it is definitely THEM.[/i]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img][/b]
noting. crystal clear.

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:12am
Gail W's picture
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Quote:Is this the "administration" you referred to in another post:
Is there another one?

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:23am
Gail W's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] Is there another one? [/b]
. . .one that is meeting your DC's needs?

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:28am
MommaBear's picture
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I don't get what your asking? My district special ed supervisor and coop special ed supervisor have been very ethical.... to me, administration in the general sense also includes any supervisory staff. Even the [i]principal[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:29am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]
This "LD background" teacher is the one who thought [i]taking his recess away[/i] as punishment for not being able to complete classwork or follow directions as [i]appropriate[/i].
[/b]
When my daughter was in first grade she wrote backwards. The teacher told me that was just fine. She was the only reader in the class and brilliant plus social and engaging.
When my son (who could barely hold a crayon those days) got the same first grade teacher a couple years later the SAME teacher kept him IN from recesss BECAUSE he wrote backwards. I went out of my mind. He resumed his recess the next day.
He's 22 as of Tuesday and still hates that teacher.
Peggy

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:33am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Peg541:
[b] When my son (who could barely hold a crayon those days) got the same first grade teacher a couple years later the SAME teacher kept him IN from recesss BECAUSE he wrote backwards. I went out of my mind. He resumed his recess the next day.[/b]
I think you were right on. [i]It's probably what I should have done.[/i] But no, I've tried to be [i]understanding[/i]. Diplomatic. My bad. [i]Bad mommy.[/i] I think my mother's generation was right on: [i]I should have went out of my mind.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/cool.gif[/img]
Quote:[b]He's 22 as of Tuesday and still hates that teacher.[/b]
I'm hating her just reading about it.

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 2:35am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]My district special ed supervisor and coop special ed supervisor have been very ethical.... [/b]
or better yet..as ethical as is allowed...I'm betting most things get filtered through attorneys.

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 4:44am
anonymous's picture
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MB -
Trying to follow all the different threads about this, but having a hard time...
Our NLD son is in 2nd grade, and will probably end up needing a laptop in the near future to keep up with writing assignments. We were advised to find a lawyer because that's the only way the school district will give our son what he needs (not just a laptop). We were advised by someone highly trustworthy in the system, so we believe it.
I'm sorry you're having these problems with your school system.
[This message has been edited by Lam (edited November 24, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 11/24/2006 - 7:27am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Lam:
[b]Our NLD son is in 2nd grade, and will probably end up needing a laptop in the near future to keep up with writing assignments. [/b]
My son's IEP indicated part of "assistive technology" was an [i]AlphaSmart[/i]. I still don't understand how it works, since they *still* haven't gotten him one yet. I've been reminding them [i]weekly[/i] and just last week, they finally [b]ordered[/b] it.
I'm thinking Peg's strategy would probably work better for me. Maybe I should [i]go crazy[/i] on them? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Quote:[b]We were advised to find a lawyer because that's the only way the school district will give our son what he needs (not just a laptop). We were advised by someone highly trustworthy in the system, so we believe it.
[/b]
Pathetic we have to be [i]forced[/i] to such measures, isn't it? I think parents of special needs children are probably the most patient and forgiving type. What a waste of such...[i]good faith[/i]...they are making.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:54am
Gail W's picture
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Did the principal forward his/your previous correspondence (the one with ALL-CAPS) in his cc?

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:55am
MommaBear's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Did the principal forward his/your previous correspondence (the one with ALL-CAPS) in his cc?[/b]
sure did.
I forwarded most recent to the superintendent.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 2:58am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]
sure did.
[/b]
<> unbelievable. jaw hanging. . . .
Making sure I understand: [i]he forwarded your e-mail ~in which he responded in ALL-CAPS~ to his staff?[/i] Not a blind copy, but an open "cc"? Why would he do that?
Wondering how he'll explain: [i]" I DO NOT SEE WHY THIS COULD NOT BE AN ACCEPTABLE OPTION? "[/i] Sure seems like he's renegotiating to me . . .
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:21am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Or that "asthma is not a problem???"
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
I guess breathing is now "optional" as well?
And who says the popcorn club isn't happening this year? I'm feeling the need for some already. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (This is easy for me to say, obviously, as I'm not exchanging e-mails with these turkeys.)
PS-- REALLY, REALLY enjoying your e-mails. Maybe you could offer some grammatical, er- 'suggestions' to this person, as well. Just in the interest of being helpful. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:39am
Gail W's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Or that "asthma is not a problem???" [/b]
Exactly. He doesn't realize the connection . . .
But it shouldn't matter if he does or doesn't. The fact is that it is ALREADY ADDRESSED IN THE IEP. What a moron.
You are right to go after him MB. You gave him an opportunity to correct himself instead and he chose to dig his grave deeper. Why am I sorta feeling sorry for him? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]REALLY, REALLY enjoying your e-mails. [/b]
Me too. This is the best reading I've had in a long time. Better than a mystery novel. Helps me by honing my skills. Kinda reminds me of Paper Chase, or DH's morning rounds with his students. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'm learning a lot following along.
Thanks for taking the time to post it all and keeping the updates coming.
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:59am
Gail W's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b] Making sure I understand: [i]he forwarded your e-mail ~in which he responded in ALL-CAPS~ to his staff?[/i] Not a blind copy, but an open "cc"? Why would he do that?[/b]
Okay. I'm slow. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] I think I get it now.
[i]He must not have realized that HE was the one who had attempted to 'renegotiate'. [/i]He didn't understand what he had done. He copied it [i]down [/i]because he mistakenly thought MB was accusing another staff person of this.
<> This is [i]rich[/i].

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 5:37am
lilpig99's picture
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wowee!

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