FRUSTRATED...Maybe they\'ll get it THIS time?? (Long)

Fran-This is a wonderful letter. It breaks my heart for our pa kids to feel this way. I feel so sorry for Jamie, can't this teacher see what it is like to win a piece of candy or a sticker. Every child loves to win the prize. Why would the kids, teacher or parents not want a Valentine's party that every child could look forward to. I'll never understand why people can't or won't get it. My pa son sends Valentine greetings to Jamie.rj

we deal with this too. during parties, for example, i try to make sure that bryce's treat bag is filled with things either as good or better than the other bags all contain. (and the other ones at our school DO contain reeses, snickers, etc...so parties are rarely fun for us. just stressful). it's so frustrating because no matter what lengths i go to, kids at a certain age just want to be "the same as the others." (even if the prize they are getting is better than the ones the rest of the class is getting). they just want to fit in. plus...i find myself running out of creative ideas for keeping up with what the other moms fill the bags with or pass out. i feel like it's always a competition so my little girl doesn't walk aways feeling like she's lost out to PA again. i don't know that getting food removed from activities will ever be possible (or should be) but i do think it takes very little effort on the teacher's part to use say, skittles or something safe instead of m&m's for a counting project. i have even offered to buy the entire amount so all the kids can share whatever bryce is using but no one ever accepts my offer. i even offered to supply treats for the class every single day of the year and was refused. can you believe that? i am very interested in hearing the reply you get from school. maybe you will give me some ideas for getting more aggressive with my daughter's school. joey

Fran, I really like your letter and I hope that it will help make things better at school for Jamie. Good luck! Miriam

We have struggled with similar problems in our school. We have been fortunate enough to have several of the same kids in ds class with mom's that have asked a lot of questions about pa. ds is allowed to eat any treats they (there are 4 this year) send in with a note that they are alright (fortunately, it is every treat they make!) We compromised on the food thing and our parties include chips, pretzels, carrotts and 1 or 2 home baked snacks. (it would have been better if the teacher asked which parents could be trusted to bring in "safe snacks") This arrangement has been working out better for ds because he doesn't feel "left out" as much. Hope things get better for you.

I want to say that I recently forwarded the info from the mass dept of education to our school. Since that time, it appears they are getting a better handle on it.
either because of who wrote this information or because of how easy it is to understand, I am seeing improvements in our school and they started within days of giving them this information.

This makes me think, that not only should staff be given training in recognizing allergic reactions and responding appropriately, but should also be trained in caring for the emotional health of the allergic child as well.

Excellent letter - so well worded, non-confrontational and moving. It [b]has[/b] to get through to them.
Amy

I just don't understand why it is so difficult to have party items that are not safe for our PA children. In my non PA son's 1st grade class, I am always in charge of the parties. We are doing Valentine bags with notebooks, pens, bookmarks, and small heart suckers that are safe IMO for everyone. When my PA son gets to school I hope we can send out a letter for all of the kids to not bring in any edible items, they just are not needed!!
Good luck, I thought your letter was wonderful, and very much non-confrontational.

Great letter Fran -good luck!

Fran, I think the letter is very well written and precise. I know, I had to write one last week regarding a field trip, it is hard to express feelings regarding your child's life and emotional feelings without sounding as though it is an "attack". I believe you pulled it off! Good job.
I relate to the food thing. I don't understand why Kindergarten students need a snack less than an hour before they go home. Parties are just so hard, too. Fortunately, when the students have a ice cream Honor Roll/Banner Roll party each 6 wks. it is my sister, Jenna's Godmother, who buys the ice cream sandwiches.
BTW, It sounds like Jenna and Jamie handle these things the same. Jenna gets emotional about these things, but she only talks to me about it - not wanting to cause any confrontation.
Rachel
[This message has been edited by Rae (edited February 07, 2003).]