Frustrated

Posted on: Thu, 02/26/2004 - 3:05am
lauranegron's picture
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Joined: 03/25/2003 - 09:00

Hi, all. I normally read a lot of the posts here but rarely post myself. However, I am completely frustrated right now and I don't know anyone else who would understand this as you all do.
I have an almost 2 year old PA ds and I am due with my second son in late April. I have not had any peanut/nut products since my son was diagnosed with PA more than a year ago (my, how the time flies!!)
I have a co-worker who is also pregnant with her first, due in September. I just stopped by her desk to see how she is feeling/chit chat. Well, she is sitting there eating peanut butter girl scout cookies and pistachios. She offered me a cookie, and I said, "No thanks, I can't have peanuts." So, long story short, she starts going on and on about how she should "probably lay off on all the peanut products she eats" blah, blah, blah.

And, I can't help but get angry. I get so mad when I see people eating peanuts. I know it's irrational and that peanuts are a healthy part of the average person's diet, but to me it is like sitting there with a loaded gun. And, I know the chances of this girl's child having a PA is very small, and that makes me even more mad. Why was it my child?!?

Ugh, I hate feeling like this, and I do know that things could be worse, but I just wish that other people could see the severity of this.

Thanks for reading,
Laura

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Posted on: Thu, 02/26/2004 - 3:34am
I hate peanuts's picture
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Joined: 02/23/2004 - 09:00

Hi...I am new here but I wanted to say that even though I am not pg I totally relate to your post. I get really angry when I see anyone eating peanuts...I get angry when I hear references to peanuts....I just hate peanuts all together and I want them to disappear from this earth. My 2 year old ds was just diagnosed officially a month ago, and I wonder why us all of the time. Thanks for posting, I don't feel so bad now because I'm not the only one.
Melanie

Posted on: Thu, 02/26/2004 - 4:57am
pgrubbs's picture
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Joined: 10/27/2003 - 09:00

I think this may be developmental- sort of a grieving thing (I'd love to hear from some folks who have dealt with this issue a long time). My dd was diagnosed with PA about 10 months ago. Last fall, I found myself at the grocery store walking past all the bags, bins, etc. of peanuts and I was SO ANGRY I wanted to destroy all these products. I remember considering the supposed high smoking point of the oh-so-fabulous peanut oil and considering how that would impact flammability if it was thrown on that rom of stuff. I was so angry! I still get angry, but not all the time. I tend to get upset when I see people eating products.
Hang in there.
paula

Posted on: Thu, 02/26/2004 - 5:51am
Sharon C7's picture
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Joined: 02/23/2004 - 09:00

To a certain extent, I am tolerant. What angers me is when at a family party, my husband's mother and sisters put out peanut cookies and treats for the 20 grandkids to eat and run around with. It's like a slap in the face. They may as well say to our faces that they just don't care about our son. My husband's sister puts M&Ms on top of her kid's birthday cake KNOWING that my son will be the only one sitting there not able to have any.
We are right now in the process of writing a letter that will be emailed to my husband's mother informing her we will no longer be attending the parties and why. THEY anger me more than anything else. It's sickening how they are.
My sister in law acted like SHE was being victimized because her 16 year old son might not be able to have a peanut butter sandwich at school. Why should HE have to suffer that way? The kid should be entitled to eat what he wants, and if SHE wants to have peanut butter cookies at the family gatherings, then SHE should be able to do that. It's is downright disgusting.

Posted on: Thu, 02/26/2004 - 8:51am
Sandra Y's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2000 - 09:00

I agree with pgrubbs that this is developmental, for lack of a better word. Fear and anger are so closely related. I have posted a million times here about how I think the scariest time is when they're toddlers, recently diagnosed. My son is 7 now and just seeing peanuts or seeing people eating them no longer bothers me at all. I usually just feel a little jealous that those people don't have to think about food all the time, the way I do.

Posted on: Fri, 02/27/2004 - 3:48am
ceross's picture
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Joined: 01/27/2004 - 09:00

While I can't say that I get angry per se when I see people eat peanuts. I do get frustrated a (perceived) lack of regard for the safety of others when people eat peanut products in public--particularly parents who let their kids get peanut butter all over mall strollers, tables, and shopping carts. It's not only dangerous to my daughter but is disgusting.
What really got my goat was something that happened last night while shopping. I stopped off at the supermarket on the way home from work, so dd was not with me. Our Safeway has bulk nuts, and this man helped himself to a sample of peanuts (I could smell the peanuts despite a cold as well as see them in his hand) and then proceeded to sample the grapes. I had to abandon buying grapes for dd after he contaminated. How frustrating. But it did make me aware of something I hadn't thought about before: cross contamination of produce.

Posted on: Fri, 02/27/2004 - 4:15am
Westporter's picture
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Joined: 06/25/2003 - 09:00

My 2 y/o ds was diagnosed at age 1 by skin test to milk, egg & peanut. He has only been exposed to milk with a reaction of hives prior to age 1, hence the skin test. The allergist seems to think that he will never grow out of any of the 3 food allergies. Yikes! He will be getting a rast test done next week since he just turned 2, not sure why I'm bothering with that.
I do not hate seeing peanuts, nor people eating peanut products. My ds will never be able to eat many of the "junk" food that others are able to enjoy since most all contain either milk, egg, peanut. Most junk foods have "may contain..., made in a facility...etc". Am I sad about that? Not really, he will be much healthier than most children and adults.
There is such a growing trend of overweight children and I am comforted to know that my son will never have any of the "bad" eating habits I have with junk food. We eat lots of fresh fruit, vegetables, meats, etc. We are very careful about exposure as everyone on this board is. I know the time will come that he will be exposed to peanuts, egg & milk again.
I live in Massachusetts where they are trying to pass a landmark bill to make restaurants, caterers, fast food places, etc. learn about food allergies and know what is in the dishes. I do "cry" for my child that he will never be able to waltz into a restaurant and order whatever he wants or eat whatever is available at parties or holidays without careful scrutiny.
I am, however, hopeful with the research they are doing on the vaccine. We all have to be!
Thanks for "listening".
Karen

Posted on: Fri, 02/27/2004 - 10:16am
JaneyL's picture
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Joined: 06/11/1999 - 09:00

[quote]The allergist seems to think that he will never grow out of any of the 3 food allergies. [quote]
Karen have you asked the allergist why your son may not outgrow the egg or milk allergy?
If you do a search on the boards you will find people who have outgrown those allergies. My son outgrew the milk by age 4 and had food challenge for egg at age 6 (still 4+ skin test, cap rast blood test low levels)and passed. He eats eggs and milk all the time now. So unless there is some other reason there is hope especially for a child as young as yours.
Take care.

Posted on: Sun, 02/29/2004 - 6:30am
Westporter's picture
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Joined: 06/25/2003 - 09:00

JaneyL,
I thought his comment was odd since I have heard there is a good chance of outgrowing the milk & egg allergy by age 5. He said his skin test number was very high so he said he wouldn't be surprised if DS doesn't outgrow it. The allergist said he works with a lot of children who's numbers were high and didn't outgrow the allergies.
We are going this Friday for the Rast test and am curious to see if my 2 y/o DS has any other food allergies.
Karen

Posted on: Mon, 02/27/2006 - 11:31pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Hi Erin,
I just found this site a week ago and it's great. My ds was dx with pa 8 months ago. He's 18 months and breaks my heart when we are at a party and he can't have cake or ice cream. I've decided I will have to make sure I bring cake and ice cream for him when we go to BD parties and such so he doesn't feel left out. I think for our children it will be come part of their life but we want our children to be happy and have the best life has to offer so it heartbreaking to think they will have to deal with this on a daily basis.
Take care
Gail
DD 3 1/2 no allergies
DS 18 mon PA
[This message has been edited by mom2lily&thomas (edited February 28, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/28/2006 - 12:07am
PurpleCat's picture
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Joined: 01/28/2006 - 09:00

Hello and Welcome!
Unfortunately you already know and will also meet new people who will never understand this issue as well as we do. They don't live with it and can not appreciate how serious it is. Their lives have different priorities.
You are your child's best advocate. Never assume, always plan ahead, and never feel bad if you find you need to either not attend or leave an event in order to keep your child safe.
For me one investment that has made my planning ahead easier is that we purchased a full size freezer and put it in our basement. I have cupcakes, cookies (homemade and bagged in ziplock freezer bags - ready to take on the next playdate and share with friends), pancakes, waffles, popscicles, etc... frozen and ready to go. If we have a cake my kiddo really likes, I freeze a slice. Her desert is ready for the next birthday party she goes to.
You have come to a good place for gathering
information.
------------------
Keep Smiling
DD - allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, coconut, and egg

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